The Sponge House
by Mr. Animator
Summary: This is a fanfiction of Spongebob parodies in The Loud House style. Thanks to DarthFlores and eagc7 for inspring me to write these. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1: Karate Choppers

**I was inspired to do a Spongebob episode in the Loud House style, so enjoy!**

Lincoln is sneaking into his house. He's holding his hands up to defend himself from a certain someone. He backs up into the door and karate chops it.

"HI-YAH!" Lincoln yelled but noticed there was nobody there. "Oh sorry door. I thought you were someone else."

Lincoln turned towards the viewers.

"You're probably wondering what I'm doing. Well, Lynn has been teaching me karate and lately we've been sparring each other."

Lincoln enters the house.

"What a great day at school." Lincoln said to himself. Then he heard something behind the couch. Thinking it was Lynn, Lincoln tried to quietly sneak over to the couch but every step he took he heard fart noises. He realized he was stepping on Luan's whoopie cushions.

"Dang it, Luan!" Lincoln said quietly and then kicked the whoopie cushions away. "I know you're back there Lynn. And I also know that nobody can hide from Linc-"

He leap behind the couch only to find out that Lynn wasn't there. Lincoln looked over the couch and checked around. He thought he heard Lynn.

"Aha! Lynn!"

But his sister wasn't here.

"Well, looks like the coast is clear." Lincoln said. He plopped onto the couch and decided to watch tv. He turned on the tv and started watching Dream Boat.

"And now it's time for another episode of Dream Boat." The show host announced.

"Yeah! I love this show!" Lincoln cheered.

"Me too." Lynn said, suddenly appearing next to Lincoln on the couch, which was like what Lucy does.

Lincoln got startled by her sudden appearance. Then the two siblings started to brawl each other. Lynn went to tackle her brother but he dodged. Lincoln jumped on Lynn and pulled her ponytail.

"Ponytail attack!"

"Ow!" Lynn yelled in pain. "No hair pulling!"

"So do you surrender?" Lincoln asked.

"Yes!"

Lincoln let go of her ponytail and got off Lynn. Lynn got up and dusted herself off.

"Ok, I'll get you tomorrow Lincoln." Lynn told him and then left the room.

"That'll be the day." Lincoln told her. He did his little victory dance.

"Go Lincoln! Go Lincoln!"

Later that day, it was nighttime. Lynn was heading to the bathroom. She opened the door and turned the lights on. But to her surprise, Lincoln was in there waiting for her.

"HI-YAH!" Lincoln yelled as he leapt and was about to kick his older sister. However, Lynn grabbed his leg and threw him out of the bathroom.

"Nice try, lame brain." Lynn taunted and went into the bathroom.

The next day, Lynn was having cereal for breakfast. As she was about to pour the milk the cereal box fell on the floor. This alerted Lynn and she got ready to attack but saw it was just the cereal box.

"Oh, silly me."

Just then, Lincoln appeared next to Lynn.

"Hey Lynn, I've got a joke for you." Lincoln said. "I learned this one from Luan. What's a boxer's favorite part of a joke?"

"Uh, I don't know. What?"

"The punchline!"

Then Lincoln punched Lynn, knocking her down.

"Ha Ha! Good one Lincoln!" Luan complimented him on the joke.

Next, Lincoln is outside getting the mail.

"Nothing but bills." Lincoln said, as he looked through the mail. He closed the lid of the mailbox. As he walked back to his house, Lynn suddenly leap from the tree in their front yard. She landed in front of Lincoln.

"Sneaking up on me again, huh?" Lincoln asked.

"Oh please. Like you're on to talk." Lynn retorted. "Now prepare for a long merciless whooping."

This time Lynn was able to tackle her younger brother. She was about to do a Dutch oven on him.

"Dutch oven time!"

"No! Not the Dutch oven!" Lincoln cried. Please no! Ok Lynn, victory is yours."

"I knew you'd come to your senses!" Lynn smirked. But then Lincoln kicked her off. He pounces on her but she uses her feet to kick him into a mud puddle.

"My clothes!" Lincoln exclaimed. "Great. Now I need to wash my clothes and take a shower!"

Lincoln walks into the house and shuts the door. Lynn smiles triumphantly.

"Looks like I won that round!"

After taking a shower and washing his clothes, Lincoln sneaked downstairs. Lori came by with a diaper in his hands.

"Hey Lincoln, can you-"

Lincoln karate chopped Lori in the face.

"HI-YAH!"

"Ow! Lincoln!" Lori held her nose in pain.

"Sorry Lori." Lincoln apologized.

"I'm going to pretend that literally never happened." Lori replied. "Now can you do me a favor and throw Lily's diaper away?"

"Um-

"Ok. Thanks." Lori said and gave Lincoln the diaper.

Lincoln went into the kitchen to throw away the dirty diaper but then he noticed his sister Lana swatting at a fly. The scene reminded Lincoln of Lynn karate chopping. She winks at him. Lori walks in.

"Lincoln, did you-"

Lincoln threw the diaper at Lori's head and ran up to Lana. Rita walked in.

"Lori, I was going through my purse and-"

She noticed the diaper bag on Lori's head.

"Honey, that's an interesting hairstyle." Rita responded, trying to be polite.

"HI-YAH!" Lincoln yelled, karate chopping Lana.

"My leg!" Lana cried, holding her leg.

"Thought you could sneak up on me huh?" Lincoln taunted. "Well you can't. Cause I'm fast, l'm mean, and I can do this."

Lincoln does his little victory dance again and dances backwards.

"I took care of her, yes I did." Lincoln said boastfully. He bumped into his mom.

"Oh, hi Mom." He greeted.

"What was that?" Rita asked sternly.

"But Mom, she snuck up on me." Lincoln replied. "But she didn't fool me with that fake Lana disguise."

"Have you been eating those peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwiches again?" Rita asked with concern.

"Not lately, just doing karate." Lincoln replied.

"He and Lynn having been doing karate nonstop." Lori explained.

"Well, maybe you need to get your mind off karate for a while." Rita suggested.

"Ok, I guess you're right." Lincoln complied.

"Good." Rita replied and left the kitchen.

Lincoln noticed the diaper on Lori's head.

"What's up with that hairstyle, Lori?"

Now, Lincoln was doing some house chores to do. He had cleaning supplies to clean up the bathroom.

"Time to clean up the bathroom."

Lincoln walked towards the bathroom but heard someone in there washing their hands. He thought it might be Lynn so he dropped his supplies and slowly opened the door.

"Lynn!" Lincoln leap and attacked but was carried out by an angry mother.

"No more." Rita said sternly.

"But Mom-"

"I don't wanna hear it. No more karate or you're grounded."

Rita left.

"Grounded?"

After Lincoln finished cleaning the bathroom, he went outside.

"No more karate? Man, how am I gonna tell Lynn?" Lincoln wondered sadly.

Just then, Lynn popped out at Lincoln and started karate chopping at him.

"Ready for more karate, Lincoln?"

"No Lynn, Mom said I can't do karate anymore." Lincoln told her.

"Nice try, Lincoln." Lynn replied, thinking it was a trick.

"Lynn please, I can't-"

"I ain't falling for it." Lynn responded and still continued to karate chop at Lincoln.

"No really. Please stop!" Lincoln begged.

Rita looked out the window and saw the scene outside. She looked angry and went outside.

"Lincoln!"

Lincoln screamed in fear. Lynn stopped attacking.

"What did I just get through telling you?"

"But Mom, she, I-" Lincoln tried to say.

"Lincoln, you're grounded!" Rita said angrily.

Lincoln looked very sad and sulked as he slowing walked into the house. Lynn felt guilty and decided to intervene.

"Wait Mom, it's not his fault. It's mine." Lynn admitted. "He tried to tell me but I wouldn't listen. Please give him another chance."

Rita thought about what Lynn said then looked back at Lincoln to see him trudging up the stairs.

"Lincoln, wait." Rita called and Lincoln stopped. "Look, I'm going to give you another chance.

Lincoln perked up. "Really?"

"Yes." Rita said. "But no more karate. It's poisoning your mind."

"Wow, ok. Thanks Mom."

Lincoln walked outside and shut the door as Rita went back in.

"Dude, I guess you weren't kidding after all." Lynn said. She and Lincoln sighed.

"Ah, that game was getting old anyway." Lynn commented. "It's not fun anymore. I mean what's so fun about this?"

Lynn whacked her brother in the head. Lincoln just laughed but then got serious.

"I mean, nothing. Nothing is fun about that at all!"

"We can find something to do that's nine times more fun." Lynn said.

"Like reading comics?" Lincoln asked.

"No."

"Oh." Lincoln responded. "Well, I would suggest video games but my system is on the fritz."

Lynn thought of something they could do.

"Wanna go to the park?"

Soon, the siblings arrived at the park on their bikes. They decided to have a picnic so they prepared food and put it in a picnic basket. The picnic basket was in Lincoln's bike basket. They locked their bikes on the bike rail and took a walk down the park with Lincoln carrying the picnic basket.

"Man, karate sure is dumb." Lynn commented.

"Yeah, I feel just dumb thinking about it." Lincoln replied and then started acting dumb. "Duh, I'm stupid. I like karate. Duuuuh!"

"You like what?" Lynn asked.

"Not karate." Lincoln replied.

"Ha! I don't even know what that is."

"Me too. I don't know what anything is. In fact-"

"Hi-yah!"

Lincoln was interrupted by a young boy throwing a frisbee to another boy. The boy caught it and threw it back yelling "Hi-yah!"

Lincoln looked at Lynn. "For a minute that almost sounded like-"

"Karate?" Lynn asked.

"Right now? I mean no!" Lincoln replied. "What is this karate?"

Lynn and Lincoln sat down on the grass and Lincoln got out the food.

"What do you want on your sub?" Lincoln asked.

"Karate." Lynn replied.

"What did you say?"

"Uh, ketchup. I want ketchup on my sandwich." Lynn said, trying to take her mind of karate.

Lincoln pulled out the ketchup and some meat. "How many slices of salami do you want on your sandwich?"

"One. Just one." Lynn said.

"Ok, one for you." Lincoln cut one slice with his hand. "And one for me."

The second slice was cut in slow motion, which reminded Lynn of karate chopping.

"Uh, Lincoln?"

"Hmm?"

"Maybe just one more. Um, I'm kinda hungry."

Lincoln brings out the salami again. "Sure thing, Lynn."

He was about to chop another slice but Lynn interrupted.

"Lincoln? Do you think, um, do you think maybe I could cut this one?"

"Uh, sure."

Lynn takes the salami. "Thanks." She chops a slice. "Hi-yah! Is that enough?"

"Maybe just one more." Lincoln answered.

Lynn is about to chop another slice.

"Or two!"

"Or three!"

"Or ten!"

"Ten! Yes, ten! Because we're really hungry!" Lynn snapped.

"Heck yeah we are!" Lincoln snapped.

Lynn chopped the salami slices rapidly. They fly everywhere. Some of them landing on Lincoln's face.

"Time for buns!" Lincoln yelled as he got out the buns and threw them in the air. He chopped them rapidly.

"How about some tomatoes?" Lynn asked.

"And I'll cut the cheese!" Lincoln responded.

Tomatoes and cheese were thrown in the air. Lynn and Lincoln leaped in the air and sliced the foods. Sliced cheese and tomatoes rained down and landed on the buns.

"What else should we slice?" Lynn asked eagerly.

"More buns." Lincoln replied, grabbing more buns.

"And lettuce." Lynn added, grabbing lettuce.

Lincoln chopped more buns while Lynn chopped more lettuce. The subs landed all over the grass and the two young boys that were playing frisbee each got hit with a sub. Now the two siblings were exhausted.

"Whew, making subs sure is fun." Lincoln commented. "Right Lynn? Lynn?"

Lynn just stood there with a dazed look on her face.

"Well, I guess I'll eat one now." Lincoln suggested. He slowly reached for a sub but Lynn karate chopped his arm. She is now wearing her karate outfit.

"You're mince meat!"

Lincoln is also in his karate outfit. "In your dreams! Hi-yah!"

Lincoln leapt at Lynn and the two got into a big fight that lasted for who knows long.

Later, Rita showed up at the park to check on her kids. Then she noticed something.

"Huh? What the heck happened here?"

Rita saw that everything in the park was chopped in half. She sees Lincoln and Lynn relaxing.

"You think Mom ever does karate?" Lincoln asked.

"Ahem!" Rita got the two kids attention and Lincoln screamed. He ran over to a small tree and tried to fix it by putting the branch back on.

"Uh, hey Mom. How's it going. Nice weather today, huh?"

But the tree branch fell off. Rita glared at Lincoln.

"Ok Mom, you caught me." Lincoln said with guilt. "But you know what? I just can't help myself. You're just gonna have to ground me."

"You can ground me if you want too." Lynn offered. "We've both been doing karate nonstop you know."

"Ground you? I've got something else in mind." Rita said proudly as she picked up a sub.

At home, Lynn and Lincoln were preparing dinner for the family. They were preparing subs: karate style! Their siblings were impressed and so were the parents as the cheered for them.

"I love karate!" Lynn commented.

"I love kar-ra-tay!" Lincoln commented.

"Ooh, next I should teach you ju jitsu!" Lynn suggested.

"Eh, I think I've had enough martial arts for a while." Lincoln said to the viewers.


	2. Chapter 2: Lifeguard Lincoln

**This is based off the Spongebob episode- Spongeguard on Duty. Enjoy and please review.**

It was a hot day in Royal Woods. Lincoln was at the beach with his best friend, Clyde. Lori and Leni tagged along too. They were over by the snack bar. Lincoln and Clyde wanted to get a tan for the first time so they were laying on blankets in the sand.

"Ah, it was nice of Lori to drive me, you, and Leni to the beach." Lincoln said. He was wearing sunglasses.

"Yeah man." Clyde agreed. "So how's that tan coming?"

"Pretty good." Lincoln said. His skin was now light brown. "How's yours?"

"Hmm...I can't tell." Clyde replied. His skin was already brown anyway. He slapped his skin to make sure. "Ow. Now I wish I brought sunscreen."

Lincoln and Clyde laughed at that. Just then, a bunch of people ran past them to see Lori's boyfriend, Bobby. He was the beach lifeguard. Bobby lifted two teenage girls into his shoulder as everyone cheered for him.

"Oh cool. It's Bobby!" Lincoln said excitedly.

"Mr. Lifeguard, can I feel your muscle?" One girl asked.

"Sure." Bobby replied, and flexed his arm muscle so the girl could feel it. "Don't scratch the paint."

Then some surfers ran up to Bobby. "Yo Bobby, how's the tubage?" One surfer asked.

"It's gnarly dudes!" Bobby replied.

"Alright!" The surfers cheered and ran off as an elderly couple walked up to Bobby.

"Lifeguard, can you point out the snack bar?" The elderly man asked.

"It's right over there." Bobby pointed to his right. "But you folks might want to head over to the senior citizen swim."

The two senior citizens walk off.

"So polite." The elderly woman said.

"It feels like we raised him." The elderly man commented.

"What a guy. Is it any wonder he's so popular?" Lincoln said amazed. "Just imagine if I were a lifeguard. That would be so cool."

Clyde was not impressed.

"Oh, why do you want to be a lifeguard anyway?" Clyde asked. "Being a lifeguard is so dumb. All they do is blow on their stupid whistles. Rub that white stuff on their noses. And they're always flexing their muscles. They're embarrassing."

Just then, Lori walked up to the two boys in her swimsuit.

"Hey boys." She greeted.

Clyde reacted the way he did whenever he saw Lori. He got a nosebleed.

"Eww Clyde!" Lori said disgusted. "You are so embarrassing sometimes."

Lori ran off to avoid being seen with him. Clyde wiped his nose with a tissue. "I'm going to the snack bar."

Clyde left to go to the snack bar.

"Who needs to be a lifeguard anyway?" Lincoln asked himself. "I'm cool. I'm every bit as cool as Bobby. And if I'm not, let me embarrass myself in the next two seconds."

In the next two seconds, Lincoln walked off and slipped on a lotion bottle causing lotion to come out. Lincoln fell face first onto the lotion. Bobby witnessed this.

"Please don't leave bottles on the ground." Bobby announced through a megaphone. "Lincoln, you ok?"

Bobby helped the white haired boy up and noticed white stuff on his nose.

"Hey, I didn't know you were a lifeguard."

"Lifeguard?"

"Your nose."

Lincoln feels the lotion on his nose. "White stuff. Wait, you think I'm a lifeguard?"

"Sure bro, there's no hiding the lifeguard look. And you've got it." Bobby replied.

"You really think so?"

"You bet I do. Hey, we're missing some workers today. How would you like to work the beach?"

"I'd love too!" Lincoln said excitedly, giving Bobby a bear hug.

"Alright, welcome aboard bro." Bobby said happily. "Hey Becky, come here."

A red headed girl named Becky walks over to Bobby.

"I'd like to introduce you to my buddy, Lincoln." Bobby introduced.

"Hi." Lincoln greeted.

"Oh hey, you're Lori's brother." Becky realized. "The one who reads comics in his undies."

"Yep, The guy's a lifeguard." Bobby explained.

"Oh. Well, in that case." Becky whistles and her other friends show up and carry Lincoln.

"Hey, it works!" Lincoln exclaimed.

Next is a montage of Lincoln and Bobby hanging out together as lifeguards. They do things such as patrolling the beach while blowing on their whistles, rub lotion on people's backs, build sandcastles, lift weights,(Lincoln lifts two cups instead) and entertain others by performing music.

"Woo! That was awesome!" Lincoln said happily after all the fun he and Bobby just had.

"Yeah!" Bobby agreed. "Say, you cool with taking the next shift?"

"By myself?"

"Only if you think you're ready."

"I'm not just ready." Lincoln said, putting lotion on his nose. "I'm ready Freddy."

"It's Bobby." Bobby said flatly. "Well, I'll just leave you to-"

"Help! A young boy was crying for help in the water. He was about to drown.

"We've got a sinker!" Bobby cried. "Lincoln, wait here. I haven't seen any action all day!"

Bobby went to the rescue.

"Action?" Lincoln questioned.

Bobby ran up to the dock and took an epic leap into the air where his body blocked the sun for a moment before diving into the water. He swam to the drowning kid, picked him up and dragged him out of the ocean. The lifeguard put the kid on the dry land.

"Breath, darn you!" Bobby yelled and started punching the kid in the chest until water came out of the kids mouth, along with a phone and earbuds.

"That's the last time I listen to music and swim." The kid said. "You saved my life."

"Ah, it was all part of my job. I'm glad you're ok."

The people cheered for Bobby. Lincoln had just witnessed the whole thing too and was speechless.

"You know Lincoln, the babes and the beach chair are great." Bobby told Lincoln. "But the best part is knowing you're the one standing between these good people-"

Bobby gestures to a group of people who were rooting on a teenage boy chugging down a bunch of hot dogs.

"And a watery grave." Bobby finished. "And that's what it's all about. Their lives are in your hands now."

Lori walks over.

"Cause I got a date with your sister. Later."

"Yeah, good luck Linky." Lori added, now knowing her brother was a lifeguard.

Lori and Bobby walk off holding hands, leaving Lincoln all alone.

"But I'm...not a strong swimmer." Lincoln said nervously. He suddenly has an inner tube around him. "Man, if I knew being a lifeguard meant guarding their lives, I would have never said yes."

He throws the inner tube away.

"Hey, Maybe nothing will go wrong. Then when Bobby comes back, I'll tell him I'm not interested." Lincoln suggested. "Besides, what's the worst that could happen."

Lincoln suddenly imagines everyone in the ocean being dead, with a bunch of tombstones. This horrifying image causes the white haired boy to panic. He screams and runs to the lifeguard tower and uses a megaphone to alert everyone who's in the water.

"Emergency! Everybody out of the water! Emergency!"

The citizens quickly ran out of the water.

"What's wrong, lifeguard?" Some people asked.

"Uh...there are sharks in there!" Lincoln yelled.

Two kids wearing shark swimsuits spoke up.

"No, these are just our swimsuits." Said one kid.

"Um...killer whale!" Lincoln yelled again.

Another kid wearing a whale costume spoke up.

"This is swimsuit too."

Lincoln tried to come up with another excuse.

"Uh, somebody went."

The people muttered in annoyance and went back into the ocean.

"No wait!" Lincoln tried to warn but everyone just went back to hanging out in the water. People were splashing each other, using jet skis, playing volleyball, and dunking heads underwater. Lincoln panicked when he saw all this. But then he had an idea. He ran to the snack bar and came back with a frozen treat cart.

"FREE SMOOTHIES!" Lincoln shouted into the megaphone.

Everyone left the pool to get a free smoothie.

"Everybody got one?" Lincoln asked.

He looked around and saw everyone drinking smoothies.

"Aha! Now you all have to wait one hour before going into the water." Lincoln said. "But just so you're not tempted."

Lincoln grabbed some crossing tape and quickly taped everyone, including the lifeguard tower. Now there was line of tape blocking the way to the ocean.

"Ladies and gentleman, the beach is now closed!" Lincoln announced.

"We like Bobby better." Said one of the teens.

"Does Bobby ever give you FREE SMOOTHIES?" Lincoln said into the megaphone.

In the public bathroom, Leni burst out when she heard the word "smoothies."

"Smoothies? Like, where's the free smoothies?" She wondered, looking for the smoothies. She walked to the crossing tape.

"Are the free smoothies over here?"

In Leni's mind, the words on the tape "Do not cross" translated to "Free smoothies."

"Yay! Smoothies!" Leni said happily.

She ran through the tape and into the water. But then she suddenly got a butt cramp.

"Ow! Cramp!" She yelled, then started drowning. "Help!"

The people noticed this. "Oh man, somebody's drowning!" Yelled one guy.

Lincoln was relaxing in the tower with his sunglasses. The people walked over to him.

"That's not possible. The beach is closed." Lincoln assured.

"Dude, get your butt in the water!" Another teen yelled.

"If there was anyone in there, we'd hear them." Lincoln replied.

"Help! Can't swim!" Leni shouted.

"Somebody would be screaming that they're drowning." Lincoln added.

"Help! I'm drowning!" Leni shouted again.

"They would have crossed the line." Lincoln added, growing more nervous.

"I'm drowning cause I crossed the line!" Leni shouted once again.

The people glared at Lincoln.

"Ok fine." Lincoln gave in, pulling out his binoculars. "But just to prove to you that- LENI ISN'T DROWNING!"

"Can't swim! Butt hurts! Smoothies!"

"Hold on Leni!" Lincoln yelled, sliding down the tower. "I'm coming!"

Lincoln ran up the ocean but stopped before going in. Leni continued freaking out. Lincoln pulled out a life preserver.

"Here Leni! Catch this!" Lincoln yelled and threw the preserver into the water. But Lincoln didn't have enough strength and the preserver only landed like five inches into the water.

"Quit fooling around and get in the water!" One teen snapped.

As Leni continued panicking, Lincoln tried to desperately think of a plan.

"Come on Lincoln, think! Aha! I've got it!"

Lincoln grabbed a long pole and stretched it out into the water so he could drag Leni out. But it still wasn't long enough to reach his sister.

"Dang it!" Lincoln cried, throwing the pole away. But he gets another idea. He runs to the boat shack where a man is pulling out an inflatable raft. Lincoln pushes him.

"Sorry, but this is an emergency!" The kid alerted him.

Lincoln is now out in the water in the raft using paddle sticks.

"Ok Leni, I'm here!" Lincoln said. "Get in!"

But Leni is still panicking and she rips up the raft with her nails.

"Leni! Stop! Stop! STOP!"

But it was too late. The boat raft had already deflated and sunk.

"Oops. Sorry." Leni apologized.

Now Lincoln and Leni were both panicking. Leni climbed into Lincoln's shoulders but Lincoln couldn't support the weight and she fell off.

"Help us! We're drowning!" The siblings shouted. But the people just ignored them and left saying things like "Let's go to the movies" and "I'm done with the beach."

"Goodbye Leni!" Lincoln cried.

"Good smoothie!" Leni replied.

Just then, Bobby returned and walked up Leni and Lincoln. He picked them both up.

"Lincoln?" Bobby asked.

"Yes Bobby?" Lincoln replied.

"You're not a lifeguard, are you?"

"No Bobby."

"Ok guys, come with me." Bobby said, carrying the two Louds with him.

Soon, Bobby was up in his lifeguard tower wearing shades. Leni and Lincoln were in a kiddie pool learning how to swim. Lori and Clyde had shown up to watch.

"I had a feeling Lincoln was never really a lifeguard." Lori said.

"Well, I'm glad he's not." Clyde replied.

"Well done. You guys are learning fast." Bobby told Lincoln and Leni. Suddenly, Lincoln and Leni got butt cramps.

"Ah! Butt cramps!"

"And I still don't have my smoothie." Leni said sadly.


	3. Chapter 3: Lynn's Little Secret

**This next fanfic is requested and based off the Spongebob episode: Just One Bite.**

It was a typical day at the Loud House. Lynn was in the living room lifting weights. Her sisters Lana and Lola were also there playing with their pony figurines. Lola's pony was pink, wearing a tiara and dress and Lana's pony was dark blue, wearing a baseball cap and overalls.

"Ooh, I just love my pink diamond pony!" Lola said happily.

"Yeah, Dirty Mudpie is pretty cool too!" Lana added, referring to her pony.

Lynn heard their conversation and scoffed. "Wusses." She muttered.

"What was that Lynn?" Lana asked.

"You guys playing with those ponies again?"

"Yeah, Princess Pony is amazing after all." Lola commented. "Everyone's into it now."

"Everyone?" Lynn questioned.

Just then, Lori and Leni showed up with their pony figurines.

"Yep. I got Bossy Boots." Lori said, showing her pony who was light blue and wearing combat boots.

"And I got Beauty Foal." Leni said, showing her pony who was turquoise and wearing shades on her head.

Luna and Luan showed up. "I have Loud Bass." Luna said. Her pony was a purple rocker with a skull tattoo on her flank.

"Classy Clown for me." Luan said. Her clown was yellow, wearing a clown wig, fake nose, and party hat. She also had dots all over her body.

Lisa showed up carrying Lily in her arm and holding her pony in another.

"I've got Brainy and Lily has Cutie Pie."

Lisa's pony was green, wearing glasses and a lab coat. Lily held out her pony which was a little light purple filly wearing a diaper.

"And I have Gloomy Gray." Lucy said, suddenly appearing next to Lynn, which startled her.

Then Lincoln showed up.

"Let me guess. You have a Princess Pony too." Lynn said.

"Yep, this handsome guy is Charmer." Lincoln replied, showing his pony. He had white hair like Lincoln and was orange.

"So where's your pony Lynn?" Lucy asked. "I mean, everybody has one."

"Not me. I hate Princess Pony." Lynn stated.

Lucy took this as a joke. "Ha Ha. Good one. But you know what we say."

"The only people who don't like Princess Pony have never tried it." The siblings said simultaneously except Lynn.

"That's me. Never tried it. Never will." Lynn said.

Lucy tackled her. "What did you say?"

"I've never tried Princess Pony." Lynn repeated, pushing her sister off.

"Never tried Princess Pony? How is that even possible?"

Yeah, we used to hate Princess Pony." Lori said. "But once we tried it, we loved it."

"You should try it right now." Lucy said, pulling out a comic. "You can start by reading this."

"Get that outta my face." Lynn responded, slapping the comic away.

Lucy picked it back up. "If you try it, you'll like it."

"Try that sickeningly sweet book about those girly ponies?" Lynn asked. "Next I suppose you want me to go bury you in the backyard."

Lucy had a shovel behind her back but then tossed it away.

"Come on, try it." Lucy said, shoving the book in Lucy's face.

"No." Lynn replied, pushing the comic book away.

"Whoops! What's that in your hair?" Lucy asked, pulling the book out of the brunette's hair.

"Quit it!

"Please Lynn." Lucy begged.

"Guys, if I was trapped in the empty room for one hour with nothing to do but read Princess Pony, I'd rather stare at the wall." Lynn stated.

"I like staring at the wall." Leni commented. "Especially if it's the same color as my dress."

Everyone just stared at Leni blankly. Lynn ignored her and walked upstairs with Lucy following.

"Just read half of it." Lucy said, holding out the book.

"No." Lynn replied.

"One page."

"No."

"One sentence."

"No."

Lucy followed her elder sis to the bathroom.

"Would you read in here?" Lucy asked.

"Give me some privacy!" Lynn said. She shoved her little sis out of the bathroom.

Now Lynn was getting a snack from the fridge. She opened it to find Lucy inside with the pony book.

"Read it!" Lucy said, sticking the book out.

"No." Lynn replied, slamming the fridge.

Next, Lynn was boxing with her punching bag. Lucy unzipped it from the top to reveal she was inside.

"One page?" Lucy asked about the pony book again.

"No." Lynn said, punching the bag away.

Lynn went outside to take out the trash. But Lucy was inside the trash can.

"You won't be sorry." Lucy said, holding out the book again.

"No!" Lynn yelled, slamming the bag on Lucy's head. When she turned, the goth was right next to her, holding out Princess Pony.

"It's entertaining." Lucy said.

"Listen Luce, how long do you plan to keep this up?" Lynn asked, clearly getting tired of this. But Lucy locked their hands in handcuffs and offered Lynn the Princess Pony book. Lynn finally gave in.

"This better be worth it." Lynn muttered.

She went by the tree and sat down to read the comic book. Lucy was watching her read. Soon, she read the whole thing and smiled. She spoke in a happy tone.

"Dude, Princess Pony is the-"

Lucy smiled.

"Stupidiest, sweet toothy, ridiculous, nauseating thing I've ever read!" Lynn snapped. Her tone was now bitter and angry. Lucy frowned. "And I curse this thing to an early and well deserved grave!"

Lynn got a shovel and dug a hole in the lawn and buried the Princess Pony book underground.

"Get it?" Lynn asked.

"But everyone else loved it. No one is immune to it's amazingness." Lucy stated.

"Nobody but me."

"Are you sure?"

Lynn made a stern face and gestures it to Lucy. "Does this look unsure to you?"

"No." Lucy said sadly.

"Good. Now go spread the word." Lynn ordered.

Lucy sadly walked back into the house. As soon as she was gone, Lynn quickly dug up the hole with her bare hands and took out the Princess Pony book.

"Still alive!" Lynn cried, hugging the book. She pulled a pony figurine out of her pocket. This pony was red and had flame styled hair. "Fiery Flash. You're my favorite pony. I'm so glad my secret is still safe! Now to go read the next issue."

Lynn ran back to the house but paused. "Wait. I can't let Lucy find out. Not after that performance. I'll have to be very stealthy about this."

Lucy is in her room reading the second Princess Pony issue. She had another copy of the first issue.

"Well, I didn't think it was possible. But I guess some people just don't like Princess Pony." Lucy said to herself.

Lynn walked into their room. "Hey sis, um, there's a mail delivery for you outside."

"Really?" Lucy asked. "I don't remember ordering anything. Ok then."

As Lucy left the room, Lynn quickly grabbed her second issue.

"Come to mama!"

"Lynn."

Lynn shrieked and threw the issue away. Lucy walked back in. "The mailman already came by today."

"Oh. Right."

"Anyway, I want to apologize about earlier. I was just trying to get you to try something new."

As Lucy was talking, she walked over to her bed to read the next issue. Lynn was lost in her thoughts. Think Lynn. How can I get that second issue? I'll do a handstand. Handstands help me think. Lynn did a handstand but then her favorite pony figurine fell out of her shorts.

"While I strongly disagree with your decision, I accept it." Lucy finished and noticed the pony.

"Hey, what's that?" Lucy asked.

"I'm just exercising."

"No. That on the floor next to you." Lucy said pointing to the pony.

Lynn stopped her handstand and gasped. "Uh, that's not mine."

"It must be mine then." Lucy stated. She picked it up. "I better add this to my Princess Pony collection that I keep in the attic."

Lynn was now worried. Lucy walked up to the attic with Lynn following in stealth mode. She saw Lucy put her figurine inside a chest and then lock it up. She used a key to lock it up. Lynn went back down.

"Ugh. Now what I gonna do?" Lynn wondered.

Later that night, Lynn heard a knock at the door. She walked up and opened the door. To her surprise, she saw her favorite pony Fiery Flash, who was a real life pony. Lynn and the pony hugged. They started a friendship doing sports together and having fun. They grew up together until they were so elderly. But it turns out this was all a dream as Lynn woke up. "Huh? Grr! I've got to get my pony back! And no one's gonna stop me!"

She quietly looked in Lucy's drawer and saw her key. Then Lynn quietly left her and Lucy's room and made a dash to the attic. She got up and went straight to the chest, unlocking it. She gasped when she saw all the pony figurines in the chest.

"Wow. It's the entire collection. Oh, and there's my Fiery Flash." Lynn grabs the pony and cuddles it. "Now it's just you and me."

"Lynn?"

Lynn turned around and saw Lucy by the attic door. Lynn hid her figurine behind her back.

"Lucy? What are you doing here?" Lynn asked.

Lucy walked up to her.

"I always come up here at 3AM to check on my pony collection. What are you doing here?"

"I, um, I-"

"And why are you by my chest? And why are holding a pony behind your back? And why are you looking so nervous and sweaty and-" Lucy figured out what was going on and smiled.

"No, it's not what you think. This is a big misunderstanding." Lynn explained, but Lucy just kept smiling. "You better listen to me Lucy!"

"You like Princess Pony, don't you Lynn?" Lucy asked.

Lynn grabbed the chest. "Yes! I love Princess Pony!"

"I knew it all along." Lucy replied. "No one here could resist Princess Pony."

"And these babies are all mine!" Lynn declared, hugging the chest.

"They're mine. Get your own." Lucy replied, grabbing the chest.

"No way!" Lynn said.

The two sisters started pulling the chest back and forth until Lucy swiped it away from Lynn, causing Lynn to stumble backwards. She bumped into a big box. On the box was a short statue of Princess Pony. The bump caused the statue to fall off the box and land on Lynn's head, knocking her out.

The next day, Lynn woke up. "Ooh, my head." She groaned holding her head. "What happened?"

Lynn was back in her room lying on her bed. Lucy came over. "My pony statue landed on your head and knocked you out after you found my Princess Pony collection."

"Oh. I guess you're gonna tell everyone my secret now." Lynn replied.

"Nah. We all have secrets." Lucy stated. "And I decided if you really like Princess Pony, we can share the figurines."

"Really? Thanks sis." Lynn thanked.

Lucy gave her Fiery Flash and Lynn hugged it.

"Yep. I remember my first Princess Pony obsession." Lucy said.


	4. Chapter 4: Wishing You Well

**Another requested fanfic. Enjoy.**

Flip, the owner of Flips Food and Fuel is walking down the Royal Woods park. He was trying to come up with a way to earn more money. He was writing on a notepad a list of what he could do.

"I need to bring in more customers." Flip said to himself. "Maybe I could raise the prices."

He wrote down his first idea. But then, he heard the sound of a quarter rolling to him.

"Ooh, money!" He was about to grab it but a woman stopped him.

"Hold it!" She said. "My son just dropped that quarter."

The woman's son came by and picked up his quarter.

"Yeah. Well, that kid looks pretty sneaky to me." Flip said with suspicion. "How do I know he didn't steal it?"

The middle aged women hit him upside the head with his purse. The kid threw the money down a well that was recently added to the park.

"Hey! That little brat's throwing my money away!" Flip cried. "Oh, so if I can't have it, no one can-"

Flip was whacked with the purse again, knocking him down. The lady and the kid leave.

"I hope he throws all your retirement money down a hole!" Flip taunted. He went to look in the well. "Poor little quarter. Holy toledo!"

Flip was surprised at what he saw down the well.

"This well is full of money! Don't worry little ones, I'll save you!"

Flip tried to go down the well but he couldn't fit.

"Oh, it's no use. I just can't fit."

Just then, Mrs. and Mr. Loud came by to make a wish at the well.

"Make a wish honey." Rita said.

"All my wishes have already come true." Lynn Sr. replied. He threw the quarter at the well.

"NOOO!" Flip yelled and leapt for the quarter. "I'll save ya money!"

He caught the quarter just in time. "Gotcha! What do you folks think you're doing?"

"Uh...using the wishing well?" Lynn Sr replied.

"You toss in a coin and make a wish." Rita explained.

"And then what?" Flip asked.

"And that's it. Nothing else happens." Lynn Sr responded.

"It's fun." Rita commented.

"You mean suckers throw money down a hole just for fun?" Flip asked. "That's the greatest scam ever!"

"Can we have our quarter back now?" Lynn Sr asked annoyed.

Meanwhile, Lana and Lynn were at Flip's place making Flippees.

"Are you ready to get the ultimate brain freeze Lynn?" Lana asked, filling up her cup.

"You wish." Lynn replied. "It's gonna take more than one Flippee to give the Winner Lynner a brain freeze."

"We'll see about that." Lana said.

As Lynn and Lana were going to pay for their drinks, Flip burst through the doors.

"Hey Flip." Lana greeted.

"Hey dirty Loud and sporty Loud." Flip greeted. "I got a job for you two."

"What is it?" Lynn asked.

"You'll see."

Outside, Flip and the two tomboy sisters were by the side of the mini mart where the bathrooms were. They all had shovels. On the ground was a big red X.

"X marks the spot of Flip's Memorial Wishing Well." Flip announced.

"Wow, a wishing well? Here?" Lana asked.

"Don't you have to be dead to have a memorial anything?" Lynn questioned.

"Oh Lynn, don't you believe in magic?" Flip asked before walking away.

"No I don't." Lynn replied. "I bet this is all just a big scam."

"Maybe it's not. Maybe it is magic." Lana said. "This well could make a lot of dreams come true. What's the first you're gonna wish for?"

"To be a world's famous athlete." Lynn said proudly. "But that's not gonna happen right away.

"Lynn, aren't you excited?" Lana asked excitedly. "This is really gonna help people!"

Next came a musical number from Lana.

" _Take a penny and some magic, even though others lives are tragic. You can throw all your dreams down the well. Although everyday the pain grows, you ride unicorns on rainbows if you throw all your dreams down the well. When your life comes apart as the seams and you've given up all your dreams, here is just the means to make those dreams come true. No more suffering, no more sighing, no more pain and no more cryin'."_

"I'm not crying!" Lynn said grumpily. Lana hits her in the head with a wand and she starts crying.

" _When you throw all your dreams down the well."_ Lana finished her song. The well was finally completed. Lana added an open sign next to it.

"Well Lynn, what do ya think?" Lana asked.

"That was the worst song I ever heard." Lynn commented. "But at least this stupid well is finished."

Flip came back. "It's beautiful! I can already smell the money."

"You mean magic." Lana corrected.

"All I can smell is that dumpster." Lynn said, pointing to a dumpster right by the bathroom.

"Alright, you guys can get a free Flippee for helping out." Flip offered.

"Sweet!" Lynn said happily and ran inside the mart.

"Thanks Flip." Lana thanked. She was about to leave but Flip stopped her.

"Hold on there Lana. After you get your Flippee, I've got another job for you."

"Uh, sure. What is it?" Lana asked.

After Lana gets her Flippee, she is seen being lowered down the well in a bucket.

"Why do I have to go down in the well?" Lana asked.

"To collect the money." Flip responded.

"How long do I have to stay down here?" Lana wondered.

"See you in eight hours." Flip replied and left her. Lynn walked up to the well.

"Lana, what's going on?" Lynn asked.

"Apparently, I have to stay down in the well for eight hours to collect the money." Lana explained. "But I guess I don't mind."

"Ok then." Lynn replied. "I'll go let Mom and Dad know. See ya later."

Bye." Lana waved.

Lynn left and now Lana was lonely. "It sure is dark and lonely down here."

A coin hits Lana on the head. Outside, we see it was Lisa who threw the coin.

"I sure wish I had a new telescope." Lisa said. "One that can allow you to see new signs of life in outer space."

"Wow, the first wish." Lana said excitedly. "I can't wait till-"

Another coin hits her in the head. "Ow!"

The next coin was thrown by the Loud family's next door neighbor, Mr. Grouse. "My wish is to grow hair on my head so I can feel young again. Maybe an Elvis hairstyle."

"Good luck with that." Lana said to herself.

Once again, another coin is dropped on Lana's head. This one was from Lincoln's teacher, Mrs. Johnson.

"I wish I had a snazzy new boat. I wanna be a hot rod mama!"

Lana gasps. "Wait til I tell Lincoln about this."

Just then, Leni came by with a drink. She threw it down the well thinking it was a trash can. It fell on Lana. "Hey!"

"Wha? Who said that?" Leni asked nervously.

"Leni!"

"How do you know my name?"

"Leni, this is a wishing well." Lana explained. "Just toss in a coin and make a wish."

"Whatever you say, magical talking garbage can." Leni replies, taking out a coin. "Like, I wish someone I know was here to see this."

Leni throws the coin and herself into the well. She lands on Lana.

"Hey Lana!" Leni greeted her younger sis. She gets off. "I got my wish."

Lana gets up. "Leni, you're supposed to let go of the coin when you throw it."

"But I got my wish." Leni repeated.

"Well, I'm doing a favor for Flip." Lana explained. "Me and Lynn made this wishing well and now I have to collect the money. I have six hours into my shift ends. What should we do?"

Leni thinks for a second. "Tag you're it!"

"Tag you're it!"

Leni and Lana continued to tag each other since it was the only thing Leni could think to do right now. They played into it was night. Flip came back to check on the progress.

"Hey Lana, what kind of haul did you get?" Flip asked.

"I did great Flip." Lana reported. "I got a nickel from my sister Lisa, two pennies from Mrs Johnson, and a penny from my neighbor Mr. Grouse."

"And I fell on my head." Leni added.

"Well, I guess I probably could get a couple of bucks for Leni." Flip suggested. "Nah. Just hand over the money."

The old man sends the bucket down, hitting Leni and Lana on their heads.

"This wishing well was a great idea, sir." Lana said, putting money into the bucket. "Has anyone's wishes come true yet?"

"Um, not yet." Flip replied. "But I'm sure if you believe hard enough and dug deep enough, everyone's wishes will come true."

"Really?" Lana asked.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever." Mr. Flip replied flatly. He brought the bucket back up.

"Can we come out now?" Lana asked.

"Goodness no." Flip responded. "You gotta stay down there just in case any late night wishes come by. I'll be back for you at dawn."

Flip left with the money.

"Man, no one's wishes are coming true." Lana said sadly. "I know I believed hard enough. Maybe I just didn't dig deep enough. What do say Leni? Are you ready to dig?"

"Yeah." Leni replied, determined.

Now Lana performed another musical number.

" _Oh the magic has gone missin' and everyone's still wishin' but there dreams have fallen flat upon the ground. You'll find magic under rubble, so Leni, grab a shovel and here is where the magic can be found. We're at the bottom of a well, but man, won't it be swell when we make everyone's wishes all come true."_

The two siblings had finally dug a deep enough hole. Leni discovered a glowing spot with her shovel.

"Look Leni, we've struck magic!" Lana said excitedly.

"Is that good?" The dim blonde asked.

"Next to fixing toilets, it's the most important thing I've ever done." Lana assured.

"Shopping at the mall is the most important thing I've ever done." Leni stated.

"Having fun down there?" Lynn asked from the top of the well. She had just shown up right now. "Lana, it's time to come home now."

"Hi Lynn." Leni greeted.

"Leni's down there too? No wonder I couldn't find you."

"You wanna make a wish?" Lana asked.

"No. Why are you still down there?" Lynn asked.

"Flip said we should watch for any late night wishers." Lana explained. "And guess what Lynn, we found the magic!"

Lynn just laughed. "There's no magic! Wishing wells are just a scam to fool saps like you!"

"No really. We did find it. Man, I wish you were here to see this."

Lynn continued to laugh. But as she was laughing, she leaned closer to the well and ended up falling inside. She landed on Leni and Lana.

"Lynn, you decided to join the party." Lana said.

"Party!" Leni repeated.

"Let me outta here." Lynn groaned.

"You're just in time for some party games." Lana said.

Lana and Leni started their game of tag again. This time, they kept tagging Lynn.

"Tag you're it!"

Tag you're it!"

Tag you're it!"

Tag you're it!"

"I gotta get out of here." Lynn said desperately. She started to climb up the well with her sisters encouraging her.

"Go Lynn! Go Lynn!"

Lynn lost her grip and fell back down.

"There's no way out of here."

"Maybe if you had more upper arm strength." Lana commented.

"Yeah, you should work out more." Leni added.

"I workout everyday." Lynn replied. "And I could start right now. After all, I got a couple of dumbbells right here."

Lynn was referring to Leni and Lana. She laughed at her joke. Leni was confused.

"I don't get it."

"Could you not stand so close? You're making me claustrophobic." Lynn told Leni.

"What does claustrophobic mean?" Leni asked.

"It means she's afraid of Santa Claus." Lana explained.

"No it doesn't!" Lynn snapped.

"Ho ho ho." Leni was imitating Santa Claus to scare Lynn.

"Stop it Leni! You're scaring her!" Lana replied.

"Ho ho ho."

"It's not working Leni." Lynn said.

"Dang it."

"Uh Lynn, you're standing on my foot." Lana mentioned.

Lynn lifted her foot of off Lana's foot. "Oops. Sorry Lana."

"And you've got your arm in my salad." Leni pointed out, holding out a salad.

"Eww! Wait, where'd you get the salad?" Lynn questioned.

Leni ignored her question. "And stop stepping on my purse!" She pushed Lynn off her purse and onto Lana.

"Hey guys-" Lana warned.

"Stop pushing me Leni." Lynn said, pushing Leni back.

"Oh, you mean like this?" Leni pushed Lynn again.

"No, like this!" Lynn pushed Leni again.

The older blonde and brunette started fighting.

"You shouldn't fight in here!" Lana protested. "This is a magical place."

The two siblings continued fighting. "Leni, Get offa me! I'm claustrophobic!"

Leni was sitting on top of Lynn.

"Like, nice try Lynn. But there's no Santa Claus here." Leni replied.

"LENI!"

The next morning, Flip returned like he said he would.

"Good morning Lana!" Flip greeted. He went to the well and pulled up the barrel.

"Let's see what you've got. Hmm, it's heavy. Must be a lot of money."

Lynn was pulled up. She looked very tired. "Freedom!"

"Lynn? What were you doing down there?" Flip asked. "Couldn't leave your sisters, huh? Or were you just sneaking down there for free wishes?"

"The only thing I wish for is to be away from this place." Lynn said bitterly.

Just then, Lynn's bike, which she used to get here was being stolen by some jock.

"Hey! That's my bike! Come back here!" Lynn yelled and chased after the guy.

"Bye Lynn." Lana waved.

"Aw man, Lynn stepped on my makeup last night." Leni whined. "Looks like it's time to go shopping."

Leni left.

"So how much money did you make?" Flip asked, focusing his attention back on Lana.

"We didn't make any money." Lana notified. "But we found something better. The magic!"

"The what?"

"We found the magic! We dug down deeper into the well. Now everyone's wishes will come true!"

Flip sighed. "Listen kid, you don't get what you want in life just by wishing for it."

Just then, a huge eye was staring at Flip and Lana very closely.

"Holy toledo! What the heck is that?!" Flip cried.

It turns out it was just Lisa staring at them with her giant new telescope. She also had a robot assistant to help carry it.

"Greetings humans." Lisa greeted. "What do you think of my new telescope that I wished for?"

"It's great, Lisa!" Lana complimented.

"That wishing well sure works!" Lisa commented and left with her telescope and robot.

"Just a coincidence." Flip assured Lana.

Next, Lincoln's teacher showed up in her snazzy car. The car was black with a flame design on it.

"You like my new hot rod?" Mrs. Johnson asked.

"It's beautiful, Mrs. Johnson." Lana complimented. "Have you showed this to my brother?"

"Not yet, but I'll give him a surprise on Monday."

The teacher drove off.

"See Flip? She wished for that car." Lana stated.

"You mean she stole that car." Flip confirmed.

Mr. Grouse walked up to the two to present his new hairstyle.

"Hey Loud."

Mr. Grouse? Is that you?" Lana asked.

"Yeah. What's the matter, Loud? You never seen an old man with a Elvis Presley hairstyle?" Mr. Grouse said before leaving.

"Is that enough proof for you?" Lana asked smugly.

"That was probably just a wig. You'll never get me to believe in magic!" Flip protested. "To prove it to ya, I'll demonstrate." Flip takes out a quarter. "I wish an angry mob would come after me with pitchforks and torches for all the expired milk I sold to them."

Flip tossed his coin in the well.

"Flip, you shouldn't have done that." Lana warned.

"Well, where's your magic now?" Flip taunted.

Suddenly, an angry mob with pitchforks and torches approached the mini mart. All looking at Flip.

"It's Flip! He sold us expired milk! Let's get him!" The angry crowd yelled out.

The angry mob charged. Flip screamed and ran for his life. "Ok, I do believe in magic! I do believe in magic! I do believe in magic!"

Lana smiled smugly. "I warned him."


	5. Chapter 5: Opposite Day

**Requested Fanfic**

It was an early Saturday morning. Lori was snoozing off in bed but was awoken to the sound of giggling. She looked under her bed sheet to find her younger sisters, Leni and Luan. They were wearing party hats. Luan blew on a party horn.

"Happy birthday, Lori!" They both shouted.

It cuts to the siblings celebrating Lori's birthday.(though it isn't actually her birthday) They made her a cake, they play pin the tail on the donkey, and they all bring her presents. Then Lori breaks up the party.

"Guys! It's literally not my BIRTHDAY! My birthday is three months away!"

Lori storms off to her room. Everyone looks at Leni in confusion. Leni smiles sheepishly.

"Oops." Leni said nervously. "I must have gotten my party planning schedule mixed up with my shopping day schedule. My bad."

Lori went to her room and slammed the door. "Ugh! I can't stand my siblings!"

Just then, Lori's phone rang. She noticed she got a call from a college teacher. She answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hello. Is this Lori Loud?" Said a female voice.

"Yes."

"Nice to meet you. My name is Mrs. Taber." The college teacher replied. "I'm calling because you're applying to go to my Royal Woods college after high school."

Lori now remembered that she was going to be interviewed to get into a college.

"Yeah, I was going to be interviewed." Lori stated.

"That's right. I was planning to come to your house." Mrs. Taber mentioned. "I already have your address.

"That sounds great." Lori replied.

"Alright, as long as there's no loud or wild siblings." Mrs. Taber said.

"Oh, there's none of...wait, did you say siblings?"

"Yeah. I can't tell how many people failed an interview because of any annoying siblings."

"Siblings. Uh-"

"Well anyway, I'll be coming by tomorrow to interview you at noon. See you then." Mrs. Taber replied and hung up. Lori hung up too.

"My siblings! I'm not going to be accepted into a good college with them around." Lori said to herself. "Whatever a perfect family would do, they do the opposite."

Then Lori got an idea.

"Opposite. Opposite…"

The next day, Lori put her plan into action. She woke up early and started playing a trumpet. This woke Luan up from her sleep. She left her room to see Lori playing her trumpet in the hallway.

"Uh Lori?" Luan asked. "Why are playing a trumpet so early in the morning?"

"Trumpet? This is my water funnel." Lori stated, pouring a bottle of water into the trumpet. The water spills out at the bottom. "See?"

She throws the trumpet away and runs around childishly. "Come on Luan! Tackle me!"

Luan looked concerned. "Lori, you need bed rest."

Luan ran up to her and started pushing her to her room. "I'll keep you safe until you're well again."

"Oh, I get it." Lori said."You don't know what day it is today, do you?"

"Uhh, Wednesday?"

"Why, it's Opposite Day of course."

Luan was confused.

"You mean you've never heard of it?" Lori asked surprised. "Boy, have you been missing out? Opposite Day is the one day of the year where you get to act differently. Usually, I'm bossy and uptight. But today I'm friendlier and carefree."

"Does everyone know about Opposite Day?" Luan asked.

"Oh sure. It's a game. Get it?"

"Oh, a game."

"Yeah! Usually, you're goofy and comedic. So what are you gonna be today?"

"Serious and unamusing!" Luan said happily. "Yay!"

"Yeah!" Lori encouraged before her tone changed. "Why don't you get a jump on it."

"Ok. I love- I mean, I hate Opposite Day."

Luan said giggling and went back to her room.

"Yes!" Lori cheered once Luan was gone. "This plan is working great after all."

Luna woke up from her sleep and yawned. "Morning sis, what's going on?"

"Luna, today's Opposite Day and-" Luan remembered she had to act more serious. "Today's Opposite Day and I'm just gonna lay in bed all day."

"Opposite Day? Really?" Luna questioned.

"Yeah." Luan said, getting cozy in her bed. "Too bad it only comes once a year, huh Luna?"

"Dude-"

"Luna! Where's your holiday spirit?"

"I mean, dudette."

"That's better."

Just then, there was a knock at their door.

"Ah company." Luan said happily before changing her tone. "I hate company. Who is it?"

"It's me, Leni." The blonde girl answered.

"Leni...go away! I never want to see you again." Luan barked before giggling. Luna also giggled.

But Leni took this seriously and burst into tears. "Waaah! Luan doesn't love me anymore!"

"That's right!" Luan replied, opening the door. "You're my worst sister!"

Leni continued to cry.

"Leni, calm down." Luan said. "You're not really my worst sister. It's just Opposite Day."

"Opposite Day?" Leni said, cheering up. "Hey, I've heard of that!"

"You have?"

"No. What is it?"

"Well, whatever you normally do, today, you just do the opposite." Luan explained.

"Oh. Let me try! Let me try!" Leni held her breath until she turned light blue.

"Leni! Leni breathe!" Luan begged. Leni exhales and pants.

"Not that opposite." Luan said. "Let me show you how to do it the wrong way!"

It cuts to a montage of Luan and Leni doing opposite things. Luan dyed her hair blonde and wore Leni's clothes and Leni dyed her hair brown and wore Luan's clothes. When they were eating, Cliff sat at the table and ate like a human while Luan ate out of Cliff's food bowl like an animal. She meowed like a cat. Leni was sitting in Cliff's kitty litter box and meowed like a cat also. Leni and Luan walked backwards causing Leni to trip and stumble into the wall. They also talked and laughed backwards as Luan was telling an Opposite Day joke to Leni. Now, Leni fully understood about Opposite Day.

"Wanna help me with some chores around the house, worst sister?" The comedian asked.

"Nope." The fashionista replied, then smiled.

The two siblings both laughed, enjoying the holiday. Meanwhile, Lori is in her room getting prepared for her interview. She just finished cleaning her room.

"It's nearly noon and literally not a peep from any of my siblings." Lori said. "I guess Luan spread the word about Opposite Day."

Lori walked downstairs and heard noises coming from outside.

"What the heck is that?" Lori asked and went outside. She gasped at what she saw. There were trashcans knocked over and a pile of garbage leading to the backyard. Lori ran to the backyard and saw another mess caused by Luan and Leni. They brought out lawn chairs and knocked over over.

"What are you guys doing?!" The angry blonde asked.

"Oh, hi-I mean, goodbye Lori." Luan greeted. "Isn't Opposite Day (giggles) terrible?"

Luan laughs and Lori growls.

"I'll tell you what's terrible!" Lori said. "Living with you. You're one of the most annoying siblings ever!"

"Gee, that's the nicest thing Lori has ever said to me." Luan smiled.

Lori facepalms. "If Mrs Taber sees this mess, she'll never accept me into her college."

"Isn't it beautiful?" Leni asked, admiring the mess they made.

"On Opposite Day, it is." Luan replied.

Just then, Lori came with some trash bags.

"Out of the way guys!"

Lori started collecting the trash and put it in the bags. Luan and Leni watched.

"I don't get it." Luan said. "We made the yard dirty which means we're really cleaning it. But now Lori's cleaning it which means she's messing it up."

Leni stared at Luan blankly.

"But the opposite of clean is filth. And filth is clean which means Lori's making the yard a wreck. But normally, I wouldn't clean my own room unless it was chore day. So that must mean Lori is being the opposite of Lori which means she's Luan.

Aha! I totally understand everything now! I must be the opposite of Luan by being-"

She grabs a pulls out a blonde wig. "Lori."

"Hey, I wanna be opposite too." Leni complained.

Luan pulled out another short blonde wig and gave it to Leni. "It's a good thing I have these spare blonde wigs from my comedy classes."

Leni made her long hair into a ponytail and put on the short blonde wig. "Yeah! I'm Lori! I'm Lori!"

"Wait, it's not enough to look like Lori to be opposite." Luan mentioned. "You have to act like her too. (does a Lori impression) I'm literally going to text Bobby Boo Bear all day. (pretends to text him) Now you try."

"Ok." Leni replied. "I'm Lori! I'm Lori! Lori! Lori! Lori!"

Leni did a little dance and Luan joined her.

"We're Lori! We're Lori! Lori! Lori! Lori!"

Luan and Leni ran to the front yard. Luan opened the front door for Leni. "After you, Mrs. Lori."

"Why thank you, Mrs. Lori."

"You're welcome, Mrs. Lori."

The two siblings went inside. Lori was now in the backyard getting ready to put the lawn chairs away.

"Opposite Day." She grumbled. "Next it'll be Go Jump Off A Cliff Day."

As Lori got started with chairs, Ms. Taber arrived to the Loud residence with her car.

"Oh my." The woman said. "The house is even more beautiful in person."

She walks up to the house and knocks on the door. Luan opens it. She is now wearing Lori's eyeshadow, earrings, tank top, shorts, and shoes.

"Hello Lori." Mrs. Taber greeted.

"Hey. You must be here for something important." Luan said.

"I'm here for the interview, remember?" Mrs. Taber stated. "By the way, your voice sounds different than it was on the phone."

"Yeah, everyone says that." Luan said.

They walked into the living room.

"Alright, let's get started." Mrs. Taber said. "I want to know all the positive things about you."

"Positive things. Opposite Day." Luan said to herself before speaking out loud. "I'd love too. I boss my siblings around text my boyfriend too much."

"Oh. Well, um-"

"Please, let me finish. I'm super lazy, I make messes, and I sometimes fart when no one's looking."

The lady wasn't sure how to respond.

"Now, would you like to see my room?" Luan asked.

"Well, I guess-"

"I won't take no for an answer." Luan replied. She laughs then stops.

"Please follow me."

Luan leads Mrs. Taber to Lori and Leni's room. "Well, this is my room. Isn't it horrible?"

"I see you share this room." Mrs. Taber added, noticing the two beds. She sees a painting of Lori's boyfriend, Bobby.

"This is a nice painting." She complimented.

Suddenly, Leni, fully dressed up as Lori, bursts her head through the painting. "Thank you."

Mrs. Taber screams and falls on her back in surprise.

"Who's that?!"

"I'd like to introduce you to my sister Lori." Luan said.

"You're both Lori?"

"I'm Lori. She's Lori." Luan explained.

"We're both Lori." Leni and Luan said at the same time.

Meanwhile, Lori had just put the last chair away in the storage. "Well, that's done. At least it's been quiet around here."

Lori goes to the front yard and sees the car in front of their driveway.

"Who's car is this?"

She went to get a closer look and noticed a sign in the front that said "Royal Woods College". Lori knew what this meant.

"Aaah! NO!"

Inside the house, Luan, Leni, and Mrs. Taber we're back in the living room. Luan as Lori was playing a trumpet. Mrs. Taber wasn't enjoying this.

"I don't want to hear anymore." The women said.

"Ok." Luan replied and continued to play.

"I really don't want to hear anymore." Mrs. Taber begged.

"I hear you loud and clear." Luan continued to play.

"Stop!" Lori yelled, entering the house. "Get away from her!"

Lori ran up to the college principal. "I'm so sorry, ma'am. I hope these two twerps haven't harmed you in any way."

"Who are you?" Mrs. Taber asked.

"Why, I'm Lori."

Mrs. Taber wasn't amused and glared at Lori. "What kind of fool do you take me for? She's Lori! She's Lori! You're Lori! I'm Lori! Are there any more Lori's I should know about?!"

Lily appeared dressed up as Lori too. "Poo poo."

"I'm outta here."

Mrs. Taber began to leave as Lori tried to stop her.

"Ma'am please!" Lori cried. "What about my interview?"

"I wouldn't interview you if you were the last Lori on earth!" The lady snapped before leaving.

"Wait!" Lori started.

"Don't!" Luan added.

"Go!" Leni added.

Lori ran after the college principal. She grabbed onto her leg and the women dragged her along the ground.

"Please interview me!" Lori begged.

"Never!" The women yelled, releasing her foot and leaving in her car. She drove off. Lori began crying. Luan and Leni walked out.

"Happy Opposite Day, Lori! We hate you!" The two younger siblings said simultaneously.

Lori was furious. She stood up and smiled devilishly at Luan and Leni.

"Let me show you guys how much I hate you!" Lori said furiously as she cracked her knuckles.

Leni and Luan immediately ran for their lives as Lori chased after them. They ran down the neighborhood.

"Gee Leni, do you ever get the feeling Lori loves us too much?" Luan asked Leni.

"Happy Opposite Day!" The oldest blonde yelled as she continued to chase after her two younger sisters.

 **Epilogue**

Lori is in her room texting Bobby on her phone. She was still mad at Luan and Leni. Just then, Leni and Luan entered the room.

"Um Lori?" Leni started, but Lori ignored them. "We want to apologize for what we did today. We were just celebrating Opposite Day."

Lori sighed. "Guys, there is no Opposite Day. I just made up the holiday so you guys would behave yourselves and I would pass my interview to go to a perfect college."

"Oh." Luan replied. "Why didn't you tell us about the interview?"

"Yeah, we would've stayed out of your way." Leni added. "I know how important that college was to you."

Lori thought about what Leni said. "I guess I made things worse. I should have been honest with you guys. I'm sorry guys."

Leni and Luan looked apologetic. "We're sorry too."

"But did you guys really have to dress up as me?" Lori questioned.

"Yep. Those costumes made us look a-LORI-ble." Luan laughed.

Lori just rolled her eyes at Luan's little pun.

"But I really wanted to go to that college after high school." Lori said sadly. "I guess I'll have to find another one."

"Mom and Dad said there are other colleges in Royal Woods that are really good." Leni mentioned.

Lori gasped. "Bobby just texted me. He said he found a good college for the both of us. He already passed an interview."

"That's totes great, Lori." Leni congratulated.

"Yeah, I hope you get in." Luan added.

"Thanks guys." Lori said. "And next time I'll make things go according to schedule the right way."

"Alright. Well, goodnight guys." Luan said.

"Goodnight." Leni and Lori said.

And with that out of the way, everyone was now getting ready for bed. Lori was happy her problem was solved after all.

 **This is the first time I've done an epilogue here. But I wanted a better happy ending for Lori here. Also, I'd like to thank Eagc7 (DeviantArt Guy) for the inspiration for this chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6: Pizza Delivery

**Requested Fanfic**

It was evening at Gus' Games Grub. Leni has recently got a job there to work with Lori and earn cash. Her job was to clean the tables and wash cups and dishes. Once in a while, the siblings got free pizza and Leni loved working here. Right now, it was time to leave and Leni was cleaning one more table.

"Man, another great day at Gus' Games and Grub." Leni said as she wiped a table.

"Hurry up with those tables, Leni!" Lori shouted out. "It's after closing and I'd like to go home."

Just then, the phone in the restaurant rings.

"I've got it! I've got it!" Leni yelled as leapt for the phone but Lori beat her too it. Leni fell on the floor.

"Hello? Sorry sir, we're closed-" Lori said but the manager snatched the phone from here.

"Gus' Games and Grub. How may we help you?

The customer gives his order over the phone.

"Pizza? Duh. Of course we have pizza." The manager replied. "Our delivery gal will bring it right over."

The manager hung up.

"But sir, we don't deliver." Lori mentioned.

"We don't deliver but you do." The guy replied, giving Lori a pizza box.

"Can't you just get Leni to do it?" Lori asked.

"Good idea. Bring her with you."

Leni came up to her sister with a big smile.

"That's not what I had in mind!" Lori responded as the manager left.

Now the two oldest sisters were outside the pizzeria. Leni was doing a vehicle inspection on Vanzilla.

"Front end. Check." Leni said checking the front of the van. She went to the back.

"Bumper. Check. Bumper sticker. Check."

The bumper sticker was designed by Leni herself. On it, it said "Loud and Proud." Leni went to check the tires.

"Tire pressure. Check." Leni said and went into Vanzilla with Lori waiting inside.

"Vehicle inspection is complete." Leni told her. "We're really making history now, Lori. That lucky customer is gonna get their first pizza delivered to their house."

"Good. Then you drive." Lori said.

"I can't. I'm still a lousy driver." Leni mentioned.

"Come on. It's just around the corner. Just do what I do."

"Well, uh, ok." Leni said nervously. "Wait, don't tell me."

"Back it up." Lori told her.

"Huh?"

"Back it up."

"Uhhh…"

"Back it up!"

"Ok! Ok!"

"Shift it to reverse, Leni!"

"Oh yeah. Reverse." Leni looked at the shifting gears and the words translated into Korean language.

"Back it up!" Lori yelled.

"Backing up! Backing up!" Leni yelled out as she shifted gears. The van drove backwards.

"No Leni! Gimme the wheel! Gimme the wheel!" Lori yelled as she tried to take the wheel from Leni. The van drove on some bumpy rocks and spun out of control. Soon, they ended up far away from the town. The van was still backing up as Leni kept saying backing up.

"Backing up. Backing up. Backing up. Backing up."

The van finally stopped.

"Well, you backed up." Lori said flatly. "And you know what? We're out of gas." Lori got out of the van. "And you know what else? We're in the middle of nowhere!"

Leni got out of the van with the pizza. "And you know what else else? I think the pizza's getting cold."

"And the pizza's getting cold?!" Lori said dramatically. "No! The pizza's cold! Not the pizza! How could things literally get any worse?!"

Lori goes to the back of Vanzilla and kicks it, causing the gas to go from empty and full and Vanzilla to drive off without them. Lori and Leni stare it as until it's out of sight.

"Well, we can still deliver it on foot." Leni suggested.

With no other option, the girls decide to walk to the customer's house. Leni sings a song while Lori is in pain from too much walking.

"Gus' Games and Grub pizza is the pizza for you and me! Gus' Games and Grub pizza is the pizza-"

"And my feet are killin' me." Lori added.

Lori trips over Leni who is lying on the ground for some reason. Lori gets back up.

"Leni, what are you doing?"

"It's an old pioneer trick. I learned it in history class." Leni replied, feeling the dirt.

"Leni, this is no time for-"

"Shh! I think it's working."

"What is it?"

Leni pulled Lori over and pointed at something. "Truck! Sixteen wheels!"

A truck was nearby on the road coming their way. Leni gave Lori the pizza box.

"Now I can show you how the pioneers hitchhiked." Leni said. She put on a pioneer hat and started performing a weird dance. Lori even assisted her by playing a wooden spoon. The guy in the truck honked his horn.

"Crashin' frashin' break dancers!"

"He's stopping!" Lori yelled out but then realized he wasn't stopping. She quickly moved Leni out of the road and the truck passed by. Luckily, they weren't harmed but ended getting a little dirty. Lori narrowed her eyes at Leni who was smiling.

The two siblings continue with their delivery. It has now become very windy. Leni sings her pizza song again. A branch hits Lori in the face and a bug lands in her mouth. She spits it out.

"Gus' Games and Grub pizza is the pizza for you! Gus' Games and Grub is the pizza! Very t-asty!"

The wind proves to be strong for Leni when she gets dragged by it, still holding onto the pizza.

"Will you let go of that stupid pizza already?!" Lori snapped.

"I can't! It's for the customer!" Leni replied, still being dragged around.

"Who cares about the customer?"

"I do!"

"Well I don't!"

Leni gasps as the wind suddenly stops. "Lori!" She said angrily. The wind resumes carrying Leni.

"Let go of the pizza!"

"No!"

The wind causes Leni to run over Lori.

"Ow." Lori groaned. She grabbed onto her sister's legs. Now the wind was dragging both sisters.

"Leni, let go of the pizza!"

"No! It's for the customer!"

"Leni!"

Suddenly, there was a tornado nearby and they were headed towards it!

"Let go of the pizza!

"No!"

"Leni-" Lori looks down and sees they're far off the ground. "Hang on to the pizza!"

The tornado sucks them in from the bottom and they come out from the top. They fall down from the sky. Luckily, there was a mattress on the ground but only one of them landed on it, which was Leni. Lori landed hard on the ground.

"Hey, what's a mattress doing out there?" Lori asked.

"I don't know. But it broke my fall." Leni replied.

Lori looked around. "Hey, where's the road?"

The road was nowhere to be seen. Just lots of dirt and also a tumbleweed.

"Where's the road? Ah! We're doomed! How are we gonna get home? Which way is the road?!"

Lori was panicking as Leni remained calm. Leni walks over to a mossy rock.

"Land's this way." She told Lori, pointing to her left.

"Don't tell me, Jethro. The pioneers?" Lori assumed.

"Yep. Moss always points to civilization." Leni replied, pointing at the rock.

"That way? That way there?" Lori asked, pointing to her left. Leni nods.

"So let me get this straight. You want us to go that way?"

Leni nods again.

"Well, then I'm going this way." Lori said, going in the opposite direction.

"Huh? Lori, wait! I don't think-"

"Trust me, Leni. I know where I'm going." Lori assured her.

So the two siblings went the other direction but it turns there was another city located in opposite direction. Leni continued to sing her pizza song once again.

"Gus' Games and Grub pizza is the pizza absolutivally!"

Leni did some beatbox noises and butt shaking while walking backwards. Now Leni sang in a low voice.

"Krusty krab pizza is the pizza, yeah yeah, for you and (falsetto) ME!"

Soon, the two sisters were getting tired. Leni's singing began to fade. They eventually stopped walking and laid on the ground exhausted. Lori lifted herself up.

"Leni, we literally gotta eat something." Lori said.

Leni lifted herself up and pulled out a wood stump.

"Like, I heard in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat wood."

Lori snatched the wood from Leni and chews it.

"No, Maybe it wasn't wood."

Lori spits out the wood.

"Maybe it was sand or mud."

"Give me the pizza!" Lori snapped.

"Wait, I remember now! It was wood!" Leni replied, holding the pizza close to her.

"Give it to me!"

"No! It's for the customer."

"You're right. It's for the customer." Lori said soothingly.

"Yeah."

"Maybe we better check on it to make sure it's ok."

"Well-"

"Just a peek." Lori opened the box up a little.

"Ok, it's fine!" Leni said, shutting the box quickly.

"No, wait. I think I saw something." Lori said, opening the box. "Nope. I was wrong. It looks great. Sure is a fine looking pizza."

"Yeah."

"What is that? Is that the cheese?"

"Yeah!"

"And the pepperoni?"

"Yeah!" Leni was now getting hungry as she slurped.

"Oh, looks good, doesn't it?" Lori said devilishly.

Then Leni came to her senses. "Wait a second. I know what you're trying to do, Lori!" She closes the box. "I'm not letting you eat this pizza!"

"Give me the pizza!" Lori yelled.

"No!"

"Don't make me take it away from you, Leni!"

"Get away!" Leni ran off the pizza box. Lori chased after her. "Get back here, Leni!"

"No!"

"Leni!"

"No!"

Leni!"

"No!"

Lori got tired of running. Leni kept running into she bumped into her sister and fell on the ground.

"I want that pizza and you're gonna give it to me one way or another!" Lori yelled.

"Look, we're saved!" Leni said, looking in a direction.

"Yeah, we're saved. Now gimme some pizza!"

"No, really Lori. We're saved! We're saved! We're saved!" Leni yelled happily, jumping up and down.

"Will you cut that out?"

Leni sang a little song about them being saved and did a dance with cartwheels and front flips. Leni was so happy because she saw a boulder.

"That's just a stupid boulder." Lori said.

"It's not just a boulder." Leni said. "It's a rock! (sniffs and cries) A beautiful old rock! Pioneers used to ride these babies for miles! And it's in great shape!"

Leni has climbed on top of it.

"Leni, will you forget about the stupid pioneers?!" Lori yelled angrily. "Have you ever noticed that there are literally none of them left? That's because they were lousy hitchhikers, ate coral, and took directions from algae! And now you're telling me that they could drive-"

Leni suddenly runs over her with the boulder.

"Rocks?" Lori gets back up and runs after her ditzy sister. "Hold on there, Jethro!"

Soon, they arrive at the customer's house.

"I can't wait to see the look on the customer's face when we deliver the pizza."

Leni jumps down with the pizza and goes up to the door and rings the doorbell. She gives Lori a thumbs up. A teenage girl, about the same age as Lori, opens the door.

"Yes?" She answered.

"Good evening ma'am." Leni greeted her. "Your Gus' Games and Grub pizza is here!"

Leni hands the teenager the box and she takes it.

"Wow. Thanks. I've been dying for one of these." The girl replied. "Wait, where's my drink?"

"What drink?" Leni asked.

"My drink! My Diet Doctor Cola! Don't tell me you forgot my drink!"

Leni looked in a notepad for an order of Diet Doctor Cola.

"But you didn't order any-"

"How am I supposed to eat this pizza without my drink?" The teenager snapped and threw the pizza box in poor Leni's face. "Didn't you ever once think of the customer? You call yourself a delivery girl! Why I ain't buyin!"

The angry customer slams the door. Lori had just witnessed the whole thing. Leni comes back with the pizza, looking like she's about to cry. Lori jumps down and tries to comfort her sister.

"Leni, it's ok. Leni?"

Leni falls to the floor and begins crying her eyes out. Lori felt bad for her. Especially after all the crap they went through. She got angry and decided to deliver the pizza. She angrily pounded on the customer's door. The girl answered it.

"Another one?" The girl complained. "Look, I told your little partner I ain't paying for that."

"Well, this one's on the house!" Lori yelled. She shoved the pizza box in the teenager's face, knocking her out. Lori walked back to Leni, who was still sad.

"Did she change her mind?" Leni asked.

"Yep, are the whole thing in one bite." Lori said smugly.

"No drink?"

"Nah. Now take me home."

Leni cheered up and got on the boulder along with Lori.

"Are you kidding?" Leni said. "We enough time to make it back to work."

Leni drove the boulder and it instantly got to Gus' Games and Grub.

"Work?" Lori questioned. "Oh, my aching legs."

Meanwhile, at the Loud House, Bobby arrived at the house and knocked on the door. Rita answered it. Lynn Sr. also showed up to see who was there.

"Hi Bobby." Rita greeted. "Lori's not here right now. She's at her job working with Leni."

"I know." Bobby replied. "But I saw Vanzilla driving by itself until it ran out of gas. I decided to fill it up and bring it back to you guys."

He shows them the van.

"Might wanna put the thing on a leash. Well, you folks have a good night."

Bobby left in a tow truck. Mr. and Mrs. Loud looked at each other in confusion.


	7. Chapter 7: Procrastinator

**Hi! I'm back from my break from the holidays. This is my first chapter to come out in 2018. So far, Pizza Delivery is my favorite chapter. This fanfic is based on the Spongebob episode-Procrastination. Please read and review and let me know what your favorite chapter is. With that info out of the way, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

It was another typical day at Royal Woods Elementary School. The kids were chatting and Lincoln's teacher, Mrs. Johnson was trying to get her students to quiet down.

"Alright, everyone. Quiet please." Mrs. Johnson said.

Everyone shut up.

"Take out your pencils and papers and write down the assignment." Mrs. Johnson told her class, causing them to groan except for Lincoln and Clyde.

"Did you hear that? We get an assignment!" Lincoln and Clyde said simultaneously.

"At what not to do during a lockdown drill." Mrs. Johnson said as she pulled down a projection screen. It showed a giant lock.

"Did you hear that? What not to do during a lockdown drill!" Lincoln and Clyde said together once again.

"In no less than eight hundred words." Mrs. Johnson added.

"Ya hear that? Eight hundred words!" Chandler told Lincoln and Clyde, who was mocking them.

"Yeah, we know!" Lincoln and Clyde both said excitedly. Chandler frowned.

"Due tomorrow. And remember class, work hard and no goofing off." Mrs. Johnson advised.

After school, Lincoln went home to start on his right away. He was in the dining room.

"Ok Charles, no goofing off." Lincoln said to his dog. "I am about to write the greatest essay ever."

Lincoln took out a notebook and ripped out a piece of paper. "Like most essays, it should be written on paper."

Lincoln took out a pencil. "Even more important than the paper is the pencil. A pencil as sharp or as dull as I like. Funny..as my ideas grow, you shrink."

Lincoln looked out the window, noticing how nice it was outside. "Well, I couldn't have chosen a more beautiful day to write an essay."

Lincoln went back to his essay and began writing. "Ok, here we go. What not to do during a lockdown drill by Lincoln Loud." Lincoln paused. "Ha, this is easy. This essay is pure gold. Ok pencil, get ready to do your stuff cause here we go."

Lincoln got ready to write. Time passed by and it turns out Lincoln hadn't written anything besides that one sentence.

"Gee, this harder than I thought." Lincoln said.

He went to look out the front window. He saw his sisters hanging out in their swimming pool. Leni was adding sunscreen on Lori's back.

"Come out here, Linky." Leni suggested.

Lincoln went back to the dining room. "It should be against the law to write an essay on such an awesome day." Lincoln groaned but then look determined. "But I must press onward. Because with this pencil and the completion of this paper, I'll be on my way to getting a another good grade. I mean, I got plenty of time."

He checked the time on the clock. "It's only six o clock."

Lincoln focused on his paper again. "Ok, here we go." Lincoln tried to write but just couldn't. He banged his head on the table. He sat up.

"I got it. I just need to get some blood pumpin in my brain." Lincoln said. "How about some calisthenics?"

Lincoln got up and did some exercises, moving his arms up and down. "Hup hoo. Hup hoo. Hup Hoo. Hup Hoo.

Cliff the cat joined him. "Meow hoo. Meow hoo. Meow hoo. Meow hoo."

Walt the canary joined in too. "Chirp hoo. Chirp hoo. Chirp hoo. Chirp hoo."

"Thanks for the support guys." Lincoln said to both his pets. They left. "I can feel those juices pumpin now."

Lincoln got back in his chair and scooted it towards the table. It made a squeaky sound. Lincoln moved it back again and forth a couple of times. Then he created a nice rhythm that he enjoyed. He laughed but then stopped.

"Wait. What am I doing? I gotta write that paper!"

He scooted his chair up to the table. "Come on pencil, make words!" He begged.

Just then, Charles walked up to Lincoln and barked at him. Lincoln noticed him.

"Charles! Hey, who's my favorite pet doing?" Lincoln greeted. "How about I fix you something to eat?"

Charles barked.

"What do you mean you're not hungry?"

Charles barked again.

"I know I have an essay to write. Now come on."

Lincoln took his dog to the kitchen. He prepared some dog food for him and put in his bowl. He overfilled the bowl.

"Now I gotta make sure you get your nutrition, so I'm not leaving until you finish every single bite." Lincoln said.

Charles ate the food in one bite and burped out the bowl. He left the kitchen.

"Charles, wait! Are you sure you don't want some beef jerky?" Lincoln asked. "Or some doggie biscuits?"

Lincoln stepped in a bit of dog food on the floor. "Man, Charles sure made a mess."

Lana rushed in and noticed the dog food on the floor. "Don't worry Linc, I've got this."

Lana bent down and ate the dog food off the floor which disgusted her brother.

"My work here is done." Lana said satisfied and left the kitchen.

"Well, while I'm here I might as well clean the rest of the kitchen." Lincoln suggested. He cleaned up Charles' food bowl and the kitchen floor. He then went to clean behind the fridge.

"Gotta reach those hard to clean places." He said.

He cleaned the dishes. "And these dishes need cleaning."

He even cleaned the trash. "Can't have dirty garbage.

Soon, Lincoln was done cleaning the entire kitchen. "Well, I think it's clean enough now."

It was so clean to the point where everything was chrome. Lincoln went back to the dining room.

"That didn't take too long." Lincoln said. "It's only-" He looked at the clock. "Ten o clock! I gotta get back to work!"

He went to the dining table. "Ok essay, I say prepare to be written!"

Lincoln lifted up his pencil and started writing like he'd never written before. "Yeah! Yeah! I'm doing it! Some of these and some of these! Almost done and there!"

Lincoln had finished and laid down his pencil. The tip was burned from all that writing. Lincoln wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"Now let's see how it looks so far." Lincoln said as he held his paper in front of him. "The-"

It turns out "the" was the only word Lincoln had written but it was written in fancy handwriting.

"Break time!" Lincoln declared. He snapped his finger. "Pacing always helps me think."

Lincoln got up and started pacing the living room. "Ok, I only have 799 words to go. Think, Lincoln, think."

He stopped and got out his cellphone. He looked at the dining room and then back at his cellphone. In Lori and Leni's room, Leni was sleeping. Suddenly, her cellphone rang from her nightstand. It startled her as she woke up. She answered the call.

"Ugh, hello?" She answered tiredly.

"Hey Leni." Lincoln greeted. "What are you up too?"

"..I'm sleeping."

"That's great!" Lincoln said. "Are you having a good sleep? Have any particular dreams that you want to disc-"

"Lincoln, you and I both know that you're just using me as a distraction so you don't have to write your essay." Leni confirmed.

Lincoln gasped and stuttered. "That is so not true! I called to have a engaging conversation with you."

"But we have school tomorrow and I need my beauty sleep." Leni said.

"Please Leni, it's important."

Leni sighs. "I'm listening."

"Uh..Marco."

"Polo." Leni hung up and went back to sleep.

"Well, I gotta go Leni. Got an important essay to write." Lincoln said before he put his phone away. "Sheesh, what a chatterbox. Can't she see I'm busy?"

Lincoln goes back to the essay. "I can't write with all these pencil shavings all over my paper." He swatted them away and they were floating in the air. "Now they're in my thinking space."

Lincoln blew them away. "So long pesky particles."

The shavings came back and flew into Lincoln's face. He swatted at them and one flew into his mouth.

"I swallowed one!" Lincoln gagged. "I'm choking! Water! H20!"

Lincoln ran into the kitchen and got a cup. He poured water from the sink and drank it. He breathed heavily. "That was a close one."

Charles came over and barked at Lincoln.

"What do you mean overly dramatic, Charles?" Lincoln asked. "All that choking made me hungry."

Charles barked again.

"I can't write on an empty stomach, Charles. I gotta have my brain food." Lincoln stated.

He went to the fridge. "Let's see. Should I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwich?"

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. "A visitor?" Lincoln wondered. "For me?"

Lincoln opened the front door to see a mailman outside.

"Hi." Lincoln greeted.

"Package for Lincoln Loud." The mailman said, handing the boy his package.

"Wow. Thanks. So do you like being a mailman?"

"It puts bread on the table."

"What do put on bread? Peanut butter and sauerkraut?" Lincoln joked.

"Wait, what?"

"Nothing." Lincoln said. "So do you deliver your own mail or does another mailman do that? But then who delivers his mail? Is there a never ending chain of mailman delivering mail to other mailman? Then again, a P.O. box in theory could break the-"

"Don't you have an essay to write?" The mailman asked and left.

Lincoln gulped. "How did he know I had a paper to write?"

Lincoln looked both ways suspiciously, walked backwards into his house and shut the door. He walked into the living room. The tv was suddenly on.

"In other news, local resident Lincoln Loud only has a few minutes to complete his essay." The newsman announced. "And yet, he continues to goof off." He stuck his head out of the tv. "When will he learn?"

In a state of panic, Lincoln grabs a baseball bat and smashes the tv. Everything went pitch black. Lincoln found a flashlight in a drawer and turned it on.

"Hey Lincoln." Said a voice. "Over here."

Lincoln pointed his flashlight to the source of the voice. It came from an issue of one of his Ace Savvy comics. Ace Savvy was on the cover.

"Relax and read an issue of your favorite superhero, Ace Savvy." The superhero said.

Just then, a clock on the wall shined light at Lincoln. Lincoln gasped when he saw the time. "Oh no! Midnight!"

Lincoln ran back to the dining room but it seemed to be getting further away from him. As he ran, there were floating clocks all around him.

"Must get back to paper!" Lincoln yelled as he finally reached the dining room table.

However, the table and chairs were huge now so Lincoln had to climb up the chair now. He finally got to the top. "Phew. That was close." He noticed his pants were gone. "AAH! My pants!"

"Oh Lincoln, down here." His pants somehow came to life. It was at the ground.

"You get up here! I gotta get back to work!" Lincoln declared.

His pants ignored him and ran out the front door. Lincoln chased after them. "Stop pants! You get back here this instant! Pants!"

Suddenly, the door shut behind him. Lincoln tried to open it but it wouldn't budge. He locked through the front window. The clock on the wall came to life.

"Time's up, Lincoln." The clock informed in a demonic tone.

Lincoln gasped. Just then, the flashlight also came to life and walked into the living room holding Lincoln's essay. "Only 799 more words to go!" The flashlight stated. It chuckled evilly and burned Lincoln's paper with his the light.

"NOO!" Lincoln cried.

Now the whole house caught on fire.

"AAH! What have I done? Help! My house is on fire!" Lincoln shouted in terror.

Lincoln ran around in circles for a couple of times until a he heard a voice.

"Lincoln!" Lincoln saw the voice came from his stuffed toy bunny, Bun Buns. He was now a ghost. "Why? Why did you set me on fire, Lincoln? Why didn't you just write your essay?! STOP WASTING TIME!!!"

We flash back to reality. Lincoln wakes up surprised from his dream.

"Where's my essay?" He asked. He saw it on his head. "Oh, there it is."

He picks it up and laughs. "I must have dozed off."

"Hey twerp!" Lori called from the living room. "Get ready. It's almost time for school."

"What?!" Lincoln looked at the clock. "Oh no! 7:45! Class starts in a few minutes. How am I supposed to get this essay done on time? How am I supposed to know what not to do during a lockdown drill?"

Lincoln was about to give up but then he knew what to write. "Feeding your dog is something not to do during a lockdown. And making a sandwich. And cleaning the kitchen. And calling your friends. And smashing the tv with a baseball bat. And drinking water. And talking to the mailman and-"

Lincoln was now at school and he finally finished his paper.

"Mrs Johnson! Mrs Johnson! I finished my essay!" Lincoln announced. He enters the classroom. "Mrs. Johnson?"

He saw nobody was there. "Where is everybody?"

Just then, his teacher arrived. "Oh, Lincoln. There you are."

"Here you are, Mrs. Johnson!" Lincoln said, holding out his essay. "Eight hundred words on what not to do during a lockdown drill."

"I'm sorry, Lincoln. I tried to call you." Mrs. Johnson confessed. "I have a teacher's conference to go to."

"But what about my essay?" Lincoln asked.

"I decided to cancel the assignment." The lady said. "We're just gonna practice for a lockdown drill instead. See you on Monday."

Mrs. Johnson left. Lincoln, who was smiling, ripped his paper in half and fell face first on the floor.

 **Hope you enjoyed this read. My next Sponge House chapter is a parody of a classic Spongebob special. I won't say what it is but I'll give a hint. It's a post movie special. So I'll be back with the next story. Bye!**


	8. Chapter 8: Lena Shroud

**I've decided to do a parody of the episode: Plankton. I know DarthFlores already did a parody of it, but I wanted to make a chapter that would introduce the OC Lena Shroud, to the Sponge House. DarthFlores' parody had Lincoln as Spongebob. This parody will have Leni as Spongebob. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

At the Loud house, Lisa is hard at work on an invention. She's under a blanket that says "Top Secret" on it. Leni comes into her room, drinking a smoothie.

"Hey Lisa, are you inventing a new thingy?" Leni asked, curious.

Lisa came out from under the blanket. "Oh, Greetings second eldest sibling. This "thingy" I'm working on is my greatest invention yet."

"Ooooh."

Lisa pulled out a box from under the blanket.

"Your greatest invention is a box?" Leni asked confused.

"Not the box. It's what's inside the box. This creation could benefit humankind and can be taken advantage of. I've kept it sealed in this box because if it got into the wrong hands, it could be used for bad."

"Oh, good to know."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put this baby somewhere safe."

Unbeknownst to the two Loud siblings, a silhouetted figure was looking through the window, spying on Lisa. The person had heard Lisa explaining her invention and smiled devilishly.

* * *

"Bye guys, I'm heading off to the mall." Leni said, as she was leaving the house.

"Have a nice day, Leni." Lori said.

Leni started walking off.

"Psst! Hey you!" Leni heard someone's voice. She looked around and saw no one. "Up here!"

Leni looked up and saw someone she didn't recognize. It was a four year girl with white hair (Like Lincoln's) in a ponytail. She was wearing a red sweater, green gloves, pink pants, and brown shoes. Basically, she was dressed similar to Lisa. She flew down in front of Leni using her jetpack.

"Hi there." She said.

"Who are you?" Leni asked.

"I'm Lena Shroud. I'm a student at Royal Woods elementary and a child prodigy."

"Lena Shroud? Wait, I've heard of you. You're my sister Lisa's arch nemesisies."

"Nemesis." Lena corrected.

"So what do you want?"

"I just want to talk. I know me and your sister have a little rivalry going on, but you could say we're friends, right?"

"Um...no."

"Acquaintances?"

"No."

"...well, we're both girls, aren't we?"

"I guess so."

"You see, everything works out. I've got something for you. I've heard your a fashionista so I got you these." Lena took out two golden boots.

"Wow! Golden designer boots!" Leni took them. "And they've even got my name on them."

"It's a gift. A gift from a friend. Friends give each other gifts. And tomorrow is my birthday." Lena put on a party hat and blew on a party blower. "And you know what I'd like more than anything in the whole wide world."

"A high chair?" Leni guessed.

"A high chair? Oh yeah! I mean, no." Lena threw away her party hat. "What I want for my birthday from you my friend, is an invention from Lisa."

Leni gasps. "You just want to be friends so you can get your hands on Lisa's greatest invention! And I bet it's not even your birthday tomorrow!"

"Geez." Lena said surprised. "And I thought you were the dumb one."

"You'll never get that invention!" Leni said and walked off. "Even if we are friends! Never!"

"Oh, I'll get that secret invention and you're gonna hand deliver it to me personally! You weak minded fool!" Lena took out a tape recorder and played villainous music, then laughed evilly.

* * *

It was evening. Somewhere in the neighborhood, Lena was setting up her plan. She had on a mustache and afro wig. She also had a suitcase. Then she saw Leni walking back home from the mall with a bag of clothes.

"Leni, you will be mine." She said and turned on her tape recorder.

"Letters of the alphabet, ABC-"

She quickly changed the kindergarten music to the evil music, then laughed evilly. She walked up to Leni.

"Excuse me ma'am, you look like a fashion expert." Lena said, disguising her voice.

"I like, totally am." Leni replied.

"Well, what do you think of these?" Lena took out a pair of earmuffs from her suitcase. "Alaskan ear muffs. Try them on."

Leni tried them on. "Oh, they're so furry."

Lena quickly hid behind a bush as Leni was admiring the earmuffs. "Now for my very elaborate and college educated plan." Lena took out a blueprint that said "Control-brain", with a picture of a remote control and a brain. She took out her remote and pressed the "total control" button. The earmuffs were now attached to Leni's ears and now had control on her brain.

"Hey, I feel funny." Leni said as she started moving like a robot. Lena used the joystick on the remote to make Leni move. She walked down the sidewalk, leaving her shopping bag behind. Lena smiled evilly and followed Leni. While walking down the neighborhood, Leni knocked over a mailbox.

"Why did I do that?" She questioned.

Then Lincoln's friend, Clyde walked over. "Hey Leni, how's it-" Leni picked him up and threw him over her shoulder. Clyde screamed as flew off and landed in the bushes.

"Why did I do that?!" Then Leni walked over to a puppy and kicked it, sending it flying. Leni gasped. "I would never kick puppies! Something must be wrong with me! Somebody, help! Help me!"

Leni is headed towards her house. "Guys! Guys! Help! Guys!"

The other Loud kids hear their sister as they're all gathered in the living room, doing their activities.

"Leni?" Lincoln said.

Suddenly, Leni burst through the front door. "Heeeelp!"

"Leni, what are you doing?" Lola yelled. "Are you insane?!"

Then Leni turned to face Lola, with a stern look on her face. She spoke in Lena's voice. "Shut your mouth, you spoiled bratty bimbo."

"Bimbo?" Lola said, frightened. The others were also surprised by the ditzy blonde's behavior.

Outside, Lena was speaking through a microphone, controlling Leni's voice as she looked through the front window. "You pretentious little insolent pageant queen. Your arrogance will get you nowhere in life."

Then Leni shook her head and spoke in her normal voice. "Guys, something must be wrong with brain! Lisa, you gotta help me!"

Then Leni picked up Lisa and smiled sinisterly as Lena had control over Leni again.

"Leni, you're scaring me." Lisa said nervously. Leni carries Lisa outside and Lisa struggled to get free. The other siblings went outside and Lena hid from them.

"Leni, what are you doing?" Lori questioned.

Leni opened the garbage can, put Lisa inside, and closed it. She put a cinder block on top and tied up the trash can with bike chains.

"Leni, stop!" Lincoln yelled.

"Lisa, I'm so sorry!" Leni said. "I don't know what's wrong with me!"

Leni walked back towards the house as the other siblings rushed over to help Lisa. Leni walked inside the house and Lena followed.

"Hello Loud." Lena said to Leni. Leni turned around to see the evil genius.

"Lena? Wait, you were controlling my mind?"

"Who else would be, blondie?"

"What kind of friend are you?"

"Nonsense. You never liked me anyway. You wouldn't even come to my birthday party."

"Leave my brain alone!!"

"Never. Never!" Lena started controlling Leni again and made her walk upstairs to Lisa's room. She kicked the door down.

"You can't fool me, Lena. You want Lisa's greatest invention."

"You're going to hand deliver it to me personally!" Lena commanded.

"No! No! No!"

"Now where would Lisa hide her greatest invention?" Lena wondered.

"It's definitely not under her bed!" Leni blurted out.

"Thanks for the info." Lena smiled smugly.

"Oops."

Lena made Leni flip the bed over and the box was there. Leni picked up the box.

"Any last words, Leni?" Lena said sinsisterly. Leni tried to fight back, but it was no use.

"I just want to say I'm sorry for letting Lisa down." Leni said sadly. "I let all of Royal Woods down. But most of all, I let Lisa's greatest invention down."

Leni was about to hand it over until-"

"Cease and desist!" Lisa was standing by the doorway where she was a little dirty. Her siblings helped her out of the trash can. Lisa ran over to Leni and jumped onto her. She removed the earmuffs from Leni's head and jumped down.

"Mind controlling ear muffs, huh?" Lisa broke them in half. "I saw right through your evil scheme, Lena."

Defeated, Lena dropped the control since she had no control over Leni anymore. "Well, this stinks."

"Thanks Lisa." Leni said. "Here's your box."

She handed it over to the little genius.

"No!" Lena shouted. "That was almost mine!"

Leni picked up Lena and glared at her.

"Put me down, ya ditzy blonde!"

"You owe me new clothes!" Leni said angrily. Lena got scared and quickly took out her wallet. She got out a twenty dollar bill.

"Will you accept twenty bucks?"

"Sure." Leni said happily. She took the money.

The rest of the siblings showed up.

"Hey, it's that Lena Shroud girl!" Lana said. "I recognize her from school."

"So you're the one mind controlling our sister!" Lincoln said.

"Oh, I know what I'm gonna do to you." Lynn said and cracked her knuckles.

Lena gulped. "You wouldn't hit a four year old, would you?"

"I would, but I had something better in mind."

The scene cuts to outside. Lynn throws Lena in the garbage can and walks back inside. Lena popped her head out as she was covered in garbage.

"Well, this stinks. Literally."


	9. Chapter 9: Have You Seen This Frog?

**Hi. I'm back with the next fanfic! Judging by the title, you can tell this is a parody of the Spongebob special "Have You Seen This Snail?" A classic special. I was really hyped to make a parody of this one. Enjoy!**

Lana Loud was walking over to her house with a jar full of flies for her pet, Hops. She had just collected them in the forest. As she was walking down the sidewalk, she approached the next door neighbor, Mr. Grouse, who was taking out the trash.

"Hey Loud, what's with the flies?" He asked.

"These are for my frog, Hops." Lana explained.

"Oh. How is Hops?" Mr. Grouse asked. "Shouldn't he be in the forest like most frogs?"

"He choose to live with me for a reason." Lana said. "And now we're family. Now I gotta go give him his lunch."

"Kids these days." Mr. Grouse said as Lana left.

Lana arrived at the Loud House. She set the jar down when she saw a note on the door.

"Hello. What do we have here?" Lana picked up the note and read it as she walked inside the house.

"Dear sir or ma'am, we're sorry we missed you. We'll attempt to re deliver your package at our earliest convenience."

Just then, the doorbell rang. Lana answered the door and saw the package on the front porch. "My package! Yes!"

Lana took the package and went back inside, completely forgetting about the jar of flies that was still outside. She set the package down on the living room table.

"Let's see what we've got here." Lana said and cut open the package with scissors. It turned out she got something from her Bluebell Scouts. "My official Bluebell Scout Fix-It Set for plumbers! Whoo! Yeah!"

Lana excitedly opens the box. Inside, there were lots of mini pipes and a wrench. Lana noticed a paper with instructions on it. "What's this?" She read it out loud. "Take the pipe fixing challenge. Connect 107 pipes together, using the wrench to tighten them together and earn a new badge!"

Lana looked determined. "Oh Bluebell scouts, I accept your challenge!"

Lana got to work right away. She used the wrench to connect two pipes together. She got two attached but they fell apart.

"Dang it."

Lana tried to attach them again but failed once again.

"Dang it."

Lana kept trying over and over but kept failing. Meanwhile, Hops was ready for his lunch. He went to the kitchen and put on a napkin but saw no sign of his food. He hopped to the living room where Lana was.

"Dang it." Lana said as she was still unsuccessful with her pipe kit.

"Ribbit!" Hops croaked.

"What was that?" Lana asked.

"Ribbit!" Hops croaked again. This time he got her owners' attention.

"Oh. Hops. That sound came from you." Lana said. "Sorry. I can't play right now. I'm doing something important for my Bluebell scouts."

Lana tried to fix the pipes but only got interrupted by the frog again.

"Hops, please! I'm trying to fix these pipes!" Lana said irritated.

Hops jumped onto the table, getting in the way of Lana's work.

"So let me get this straight Hops. You don't want me to help the Bluebell scouts." Lana said. "You know, the scouting troop me and Lola joined and worked so hard to earn all those badges."

We cut to a flashback of Lola and Lana wearing matching sasses with lots of badges on them. Now we cut back to the present.

"Well, I for one recognize the importance of this undertaking." Lana said. "And whether or not you do remains to be seen. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to it."

Hops jumps off the table, looks at Lana, and then hops away.

"Pets." Lana said. "Sometimes I wonder if they understand a word you're saying."

Suddenly, Hops jumped onto the Lana's face. Surprised, Lana screamed and ran around the living room. She stopped and took Hops off her.

"Hops! I hate it when you do that!" Lana snapped angrily. "Now go away! And leave your master to her important business."

Lana threw Hops into the dining room. Hops sadly got up and his stomach growled. He saw a stale cookie on the ground and attempted to eat it but Charles quickly snatched it and growled at him. Hops left the dining room.

"Hey!" He heard Lana's voice in the living room and hopped over to see if she remembered she was supposed to feed him. "I connected my two first pipes! I'm closer to earning that badge!"

Hops sadly hopped away. He packed his things in a bindle and headed towards the back door in the kitchen. He went out the house through Charles' dog door. The frog gave one last look at the Loud House and hopped away. He traveled far into the town using a raft and even used bus transportation. He had officially left the Loud family.

Later that day, Lincoln, Leni, and Lola just came back from the mall. They were all carrying shopping bags.

"I hope Lana likes this pink raincoat." Lola said as they walked towards the house.

"I totes think she will." Leni replied.

As Leni opened the door, she, Lincoln, and Lola noticed the jar of flies on the porch.

"That's odd." Lincoln said.

"I know. Usually I open the door with my left hand." Leni said, realizing she opened the door with her right.

"No. Not that." Lincoln said. "Lana must've left her jar of flies out here. These are meant for Hops."

"Well, why would she leave them out here?" Lola wondered.

"Not sure." Lincoln said. "Let's go bring them to her."

They entered the house and heard Lana grunting. But she wasn't in the living room.

"Lana?" Lincoln asked. "Is that you?"

The three siblings walked up the stairs. They saw muddy prints on the wall. They heard Lana's voice again.

"Dang it!"

"Dang it!"

They went into Lola and Lana's room. Inside, Lana's bed was all messed up. They saw pipes all around the floor. Then they finally saw Lana, who was laying on the floor.

"Dang it!"

"Lana! What happened!" Leni shouted. But instead of running over to the tomboy, she runs over to a picture frame. "This picture is crooked!"

Leni fixes it. Lola facepalms and walks over to Lana, who was still trying to connect her pipes together.

"Lana?" Lola said as she checked on her.

"Dang it."

Lola slapped her. "Snap out of it!"

Lincoln and Leni gathered around Lana.

"Guys, I-I took the Fix It Challenge for the Bluebell scouts." Lana explained.

"What? You took that challenge! Without me?" Lana exclaimed.

"I'm sorry. I was just eager to get that new badge." Lana said. "But this is an impossible task. The pipes just won't stay together. I only got one pair connected. I've never had trouble doing plumber stuff."

"Well, sorry to hear that Lana." Leni said.

"I guess I should take a break." Lana suggested. "I'll come back to it another time."

"And speaking of Bluebell scouts, I have a box of their famous cookies we can eat." Lola said, holding up a box.

"I thought you guys didn't sell those anymore." Lincoln said.

"We don't. But we still make them." Lana explained.

In the dining room, all the siblings gathered around for some cookies and milk.

"Thanks for the cookies, guys!" Luna said to Lana and Lola.

"No problem." Lana said. "Hey, I feel like I'm forgetting something. Something important. And it has something to do with my jar of flies."

Lana thought for a moment as she saw her jar of flies in the kitchen. "Oh yeah! It's time to feed Hops!"

Lana grabs the jar. "Oh Hops! Time for your meal!"

No sign of Hops.

"Come on, Hops! Get your flies while they're still nice and juicy!" Lana called again, ringing a bell.

Still no sign of Hops. Lana went back into the dining room.

"Hey Lola?" Lana asked.

"Yeah?"

"How long was I taking the fix it challenge?" Lana asked.

"About a couple hours." Lana replied.

"Oh no!" Lana said.

She went to check all over the house to look for her favorite frog. She checked the bathroom sink, her room, the garage, the backyard, the roof, the garbage cans, and even in the fridge but there was no Hops. Lana ran back into the dining room.

"Guys! I can't find Hops!" Lana said with tears in her eyes.

Meanwhile, Hops was traveling on foot. He was in a dessert area, looking very hungry. But he still kept going.

Back at the Loud House, Lana got an idea on how to find Hops.

"Aha! This never fails!" Lana said as she took out a packet of candy. "Hops' favorite treats! Gummy flies!"

She showed the packet to her siblings.

"Are those even edible for frogs?" Lisa asked.

"For Hops, they are. He can't resist these babies." Lana confirmed.

Lana shook the bag to try to get Hops attention. Suddenly, Charles ran into the kitchen and tried to take the packet away from Lana.

"No! Bad dog!" Lana scolded. "These are for Hops!"

Charles sulked and walked away.

"I should go look for him outside." Lana suggested.

"I'll come with you." Leni said.

"Thanks Leni." Lana said.

"Good luck finding him you guys!" Luna said as Leni and Lana walked outside.

It was evening now. Lana called out for her frog as she kept shaking the packet.

"Are you under here?" Leni said as she looked under a flower pot. "Nope."

Lana and Leni continued to search for Hops. Mr. Grouse heard them and looked out his window.

"What are those kids up to?" He asked himself. He was wearing a robe and was getting ready to take his shower. He went in the bathroom. "Can't they see I'm busy taking a shower?"

Suddenly, Lana and Leni burst open the bathroom door, causing the old man to scream. After he was done screaming, he took some deep breaths.

"You check over there." Lana ordered Leni. "I'll check in the tub."

Lana looked in Grouse's bath tub. There was no frog.

"Did you find him, Leni?"

Leni tore off a bathroom mirror. Mr. Grouse just stood there angrily.

"Nope. I'll keep looking." Leni told her sister.

"But there's nowhere left to look." Lana said.

"There's like still one place we haven't checked yet." Leni started.

Now the two blondes are standing by their mailbox.

"The mailbox, huh?" Lana said. "Sure. Why not?"

Lana opened the mailbox but didn't see Hops. Instead, she found a letter.

"It's a letter." Lana said taking it out. "From Hops. I taught him how to write. He writes with his tongue."

"So what does it say?" Leni asked.

"Let's see." Lana said and read the letter. "Dear Lana, these last few years have been the best of my life, but I must move on. Don't bother looking for me. By now, I've probably found an owner who actually remembers to feed me every now and again. Sincerely, Hops. Until my new owner renames me." Lana got tears in her eyes. "Aw man, what have I done?"

"You drove him away. Duh." Leni started. "It says it in the letter."

Lana ignored her. "Oh, Hops."

Speaking of the frog, Hops had found a new city. He hopped towards the city with his belongings still with him. He was looking for something to eat. He was now desperate to eat anything. He came to an alley and saw food. A bag of chips with flies buzzing around it. Hops just wanted the flies. He hopped towards the bag of chips. But then, three raccoons surrounded him, growling at him. The poor frog got scared.

"Look who came to dinner fellas." One raccoon said.

Hops hopped away in fear.

"Guess he doesn't like chips." Another raccoon said.

Hops hopped away as fast as he could. As he ran, he bumped into someone. He looked up scared.

"There you are." Said the mysterious figure as he reached to grab Hops. It turns out the person was a little boy. He was wearing a beanie hat. He was around the same age as Lana and Lola.

"There you are, Mr. Toadie." The boy said, lifting up the frog. "I was worried I lost you for good. Now let's get you something to eat." He shakes Hops. " Hmm. You feel much lighter than I remember."

Hops was confused. Why was this kid calling him Mr. Toadie when he was a frog? And this kid never even met Hops until now. But Hops didn't care. At least he found a new owner that was going to feed him. The kid took Hops to his house.

"Mom, Dad, guess what? I found my pet toad." The boy said to his parents.

"That's great, dear." His mom said.

"That's a frog, not a toad." His dad corrected.

"We're gonna go have some fun now." The boy said.

The kid took Hops to his room. He sat the frog on his bed. He got out a bag of cookies.

"I got you some cookies." He said, opening the bag and setting it in front of Hops. Hops grabbed the cookies with his tongue and ate them.

"I'll go get you some more." The kid said as he walked to the door. "And don't go running off again."

He left. Hops happily ate his cookies and looked around the bedroom. The kid had a toy chest in his room. On the chest, it said "Property of Christopher." That must be the kid's name. Hops also saw a picture frame on the wall with a picture of Christopher, his parents, and a bunch of frogs. Hops thought he was going to like his new life here. Then, Christopher returned with a plate of cookies.

"Here you go, Mr. Toadie." Christopher set the plate of cookies on the bed. "Later, I'll get you some spaghetti."

He walked over to his radio that was on a drawer. "Hey, how about some SMOOCH music? They've got a killer album."

Christopher took out a CD from the album and put it in the CD player. Loud rock n roll music was playing.

"Are you ready to rock Toadie?!" Christopher yelled. He jammed out to the music.

Hops just continued to eat his cookies. Suddenly, Christopher jumped onto the end of his bed.

"Stage dive!"

He leaped at Hops. Luckily, the frog moved out of the way and the boy landed on his bed, causing the plate of cookies to fall off.

"Toadie, you were supposed to catch me." Christopher explained. "Oh well. That's enough rock n roll for now."

Back with Lana, the young girl was still trying to find her precious frog. She looked in a pet store. No Hops. She went outside and thought she saw Hops. But it was just a frog poster on a truck. It was an ad for frog frog. Lana checked on top of someone's roof. She came out through the chimney and called out for Hops. Then she started crying.

At Christopher's house, the boy and the frog were watching a late night movie. They were sharing a bowl of popcorn.

"These late night monster movies are great, right Mr. Toadie?" Christopher said. Then he noticed the time. "Oh shoot. Look at the time."

There was an alarm clock in the living room. It was only 7:30.

"Time for bed Toadie."

Christopher got up and went upstairs. Hops followed him but he dropped a picture of Lana that he brought with him. When he saw the picture, he was starting to miss her. But then in his head, the picture of Lana only scolded him.

"Quiet Hops! Can't you see I'm busy?"

Hops blew a raspberry at the picture as he didn't miss Lana at all now. He left his picture and went upstairs to catch up with his new owner. They went into Christopher's room.

"I have a comfy beanbag you can sleep in." The boy said as he carried Hops to his new bed. "Hope you like it."

Hops sighed in content.

"Well, goodnight Mr. Toadie." The boy said and got prepared for bed himself.

The next day, back at the Louds, Lana just came back home feeling very tired. She slumped over to the dining room where her family was having breakfast. Her family saw her.

"Lana, there you are." Lynn Sr. said. "Did you find Hops?"

"No, and I was up all night looking for him." Lana said depressed.

"I'm sorry you couldn't find him, sweetie." Rita said.

"Yeah. Sorry Lana." Lincoln said. "But I made you breakfast. We're having pancakes. And I made frog shaped ones just for you."

Lana made it to a chair and sat down.

"Thanks big bro." Lana thanked. "But eating these will just make me more sad about Hops."

Lana pushes her plate away.

"Sweet! More for me." Lynn said as she grabbed Lana's pancakes with a fork.

Lana decided to have some eggs for breakfast instead. After breakfast, Lana was in the bathroom unclogging the toilet. She worked sadly as she was still upset about Hops.

"Hops would've loved to watch me unclog the toilet." She lamented.

There was a knock at the door. It was Lynn Sr.

"Hey champ, you almost done in there?" He asked.

"Yeah. Hold on." Lana said. She flushed the toilet and it was working again. She came out of the bathroom. Lynn Sr. ran inside. Rita saw Lana all sad and went to comfort her daughter.

"Oh honey, are you gonna be ok?" Rita asked. "I know Hops must've met a lot to you."

"Yeah. He was." Lana said sadly. "I should've told him how important he was to me."

"Well, Maybe you should put up posters of your frog around the neighborhood." Rita suggested. "That's what I did when I was trying to find my childhood pet. He was a skunk."

"So did you ever find your pet?" Lana wondered.

"Yes, but he got into an accident." Her mom replied sadly.

"What kind of accident?"

"Well, he..um...he got run over by a car." Her mom straight out just said.

"That's horrible." Lana said shocked.

"But he did have a funeral." Rita said. "And he may be in a happier place now."

"I can't let something bad happen to Hops." Lana said. "You're right, Mom. If I'm gonna find my frog, I need to work harder at it."

In the living room, the other siblings were all watching tv. Lana appeared and threw some posters, tape, and other stuff Lana were gonna use to find Hops.

"Lana? What's all this?" Lori asked.

"I'm going to use all this stuff to find Hops." Lana explained.

"But, like I thought you drove him away with your neglect and indifference." Leni pointed out.

Lana sighed. "Leni, now is not the time for talking. Guys, we've got work to do!"

Back with Christopher, he and Hops were having their breakfast. They were almost having pancakes. Teddy bear style.

"Eat up Mr. Toadie! Later, you and I are going to the comic book store." He said.

After breakfast, Christopher got out his bike and helmet. There was a basket on the front of it so Hops could sit inside. Hops hopped in the basket. Christopher put a helmet on Hops.

"Alright, let's go!" The boy said as he and the frog rode into town. They soon arrived at a comic book store. The kid locked his bike on the bike rack and he and Hops went inside. The Louds split up in groups to put posters all over town. Lana, Lola, and Leni arrived at the comic book store right after Christopher and Hops went inside.

"Ooh, here's a good spot." Lana said and put a poster on the front door. She read the poster. "Dear Hops, I'm sorry! Please come home! Love Lana Loud!"

"I hope this works." Lola said.

"Me too." Lana replied. "Hand me the tape."

Lola handed her the tape. Leni noticed a flyer on the window for a new issue of Princess Pony.

"Hey! There's a new Princess Pony comic." She said excitedly.

Leni, this is not the time for-"

Leni rushes into the store. Lana sighs.

"Princess Pony. Princess Pony. Princess Pony." Leni said to herself as she walked through the store.

Christopher was gathering up some comics and put them in a bag. Hops grabbed a comic for him with his tongue.

"Ace Savvy? Good choice, Toadie." The boy said and took the comic.

Leni walked up to the kid. "Little boy, quick! Where's the newest issue of Princess Pony?"

"Sorry miss, I got the last issue." Christopher stated as he held up the comic book, which was issue 25.

"Noooo!" Leni yelled in despair. She sadly left but turned back and saw Hops. "Oh. Hey Hops."

Leni left, forgetting she and the siblings were looking for Hops. Outside the store, Lola and Lana had just finished putting posters all over the front doors.

"There we go." Lana said.

Suddenly, Leni opened the door causing the posters to tear in half. Lola and Lana glared at her.

"Uh..Oops." Leni said sheepishly.

"Come on, Leni. Just take these flyers and hand them out." Lola ordered, shoving some flyers into Leni's arms.

The three siblings left and Christopher and Hops left the store with a bag full of comics.

"Ok Toadie, let's have some more fun."

And so Lana and her siblings continued to do everything they could to try to find Hops. While that was happening, a music number played.

Hops, now I know I was wrong. I messed up and now you're gone. Hops, I'm sorry I neglected you. Oh, I never expected you to run away and leave me feeling this empty. Your rabbit right now would sound like music to me. Please come home cause I miss you Hops. Hops come home. Hops come home. Hops come home. Hops, can't you I was blind. I'd do anything to change your mind. More than a pet, you're my best friend. Too cool to forget. Come back cause we are family and forgive me for making you wanna roam. And now my heart is beating like the saddest metronome. Somewhere I hope you're reading my latest three word poem. Hops come home.

While the siblings were helping Lana look for Hops, they kept missing him whenever they were near him and Christopher. They even got a airplane pilot to help them out.

Lana and Leni were sitting near the pilot.

"I want peanuts." Leni said. She pressed a random button.

"Don't touch that!" The pilot yelled.

But it was too late. The plane started flying out of control. There was a message in the sky that read "HOPS COME HOME".

The plane flew through the message, causing it to rearrange. Now it said "JENNY, WILL YOU MARRY ME?" A young couple were walking by and saw the message in the sky. The woman stared at her boyfriend angrily.

"Who is this Jenny person?" She asked.

"Huh?"

She slaps him.

Christopher and Hops make it back home from the fun outing they just had.

"Hey Toadie, how about I make you some tacos?" Christopher suggested. He put down his bag of comics. "Oh, and if you need to go potty, you can use these flyers that were given to me by some ditzy teen."

Christopher threw the flyers on the ground. Hops hopped over to them and was surprised by what he saw. There were flyers made by Lana. There were drawings of Hops and Lana that had things like "Hops, I'm sorry! Please come home!" and "Hops! I was a fool!" Hops realized that his owner truly missed him. In his mind, Lana was encouraging the frog to come home. Hops started to leave but Christopher caught him.

"Don't you go anywhere." He ordered. "Your tacos will be done soon."

Hops wasn't feeling hungry. He had been overfed lately by his new owner. Hops went to escape. He opened a door with his tongue. But it turns out he walked into a closet and he was shocked by what he saw. There were a bunch of frogs inside and they seemed to be dead! Could they all be dead because Christopher overfed them? Hops panicked. Just then, Christopher returned.

"Hey Mr. Toadie, the tacos aren't done yet but I know how hungry you are." Christopher said and pulled out a plate of cookies. "So I made you a batch of cookies."

Hops already felt overweight from eating too much. In another family photo on the wall, there was a picture of the frogs Christopher used to have. They said only one thing to Hops.

"RUN!!!"

Hops hopped past Christopher. The boy tossed his cookies at the frog. Hops saw an open window and used his tongue to hook onto a ceiling fan. He swung off the fan and flew out towards the window. He made it out. The tossed cookies broke into pieces on the floor. Christopher looked out the window.

"Don't want cookies huh?" He asked. "That's ok. I made brownies."

Hops continued to hop away from the boy. The boy jumped out the window with a tray of brownies. He chased after the frog.

"Come on, Hops. You don't want these going to waste, do you? They were a labor of love."

Hops ran in an alleyway and hid behind a trash can.

"Don't worry. I'll find you." Hops could still hear the kid's voice.

"Hey!" One of the raccoons from yesterday showed up. "You're the guy who doesn't like chips."

"Mr. Toadie, I know you're back there." Christopher said as he got closer. "I can hear your stomach growling."

Hops pushed the raccoon out of the alley. Right in front of the little boy.

"Hey!" The raccoon said.

"Oh, it's a cute little raccoon." Christopher exclaimed and picked him up. "You must be starving."

"Wait, what? Put me down." The raccoon said as he tried to get away.

But the boy had a tight grip on the raccoon and couldn't understand what he was saying since he was an animal. The kid left. When he was gone, Hops sighed in relief.

Back at the Loud House, Lana was in the living room sobbing since she still couldn't find her beloved frog. Her siblings tried to cheer her up. Lily patted her back.

"Hey Lana, I'll tell you a joke." Luan suggested. "What do frogs order at a fast food restaurant? French flies and a Crock-a-Cola!"

Lana just looked more sad.

"Luan, no frog jokes." Lucy said in her monotone voice.

"I can't cry anymore." Lana said. "When Hops left, he took all my tears with him."

"Wait, did you say Hops?" Leni asked. "Lana, I just remembered! Earlier today at the comic book store, I saw...this huge Princess Pony figurine of Beauty Foal! It was awesome!"

"Hops loved Princess Pony!!!" Lana burst into tears and ran away.

"Poor kid." Lincoln said sadly.

Lana went outside to take a walk. "I gotta try to forget about Hops. But for some reason, I can't get him outta my head."

He saw her own flyers with Hops on them. She then saw a billboard that said "Have you seen me?" with Hops on it.

"I blew it. I really blew it." Lana lamented. "I took you for granted Hops. I'm sorry. Don't just look at me, say something!"

Lana had to face facts. That wasn't the real Hops. "I'm talking to a billboard."

Suddenly, the real Hops appeared right behind his owner. He croaked to get her attention.

"Now I'm hearing things." Lana said sadly. "If only I could see you one more time so I can tell you how much I love you! If only I could hear you ribbit or croak one last time!"

Hops hopped on her head and croaked.

"Yeah, like that."

Hops made a ribbit sound.

"Hops, your sounds are making it hard to forget about you." Lana said to him.

Wait a minute..

"Hops!" Lana cried, overfilled with joy. "Oh, Hops!"

Lana hugged and kissed her frog. "Did you hear any of that or do I have to repeat myself?"

"Ribbit." Hops replied.

"Ok, good." Lana said and carried Hops back home. "I promise, Hops. Things are going to be different between you and me. You'll see, buddy. Now let's get you something to eat. You must be starving."

Hops groaned and he and his owner went inside their house.

 **I hope you enjoyed that fanfic. Also, the part with the dead frogs in the closet might have been pretty dark. What I could have done was have other frogs rescue Hops. But anyway, this was fun to write. Next I'm planning to do Wet Painters, The Camping Episode, and maybe Dunces and Dragons. Later!**


	10. Chapter 10: Charles Takes a Bath

**I'm back with the next chapter. This one is based off the Spongebob episode-Gary Takes a Bath. Next time, I'll do either Wet Painters or The Camping Episode. Enjoy the chapter!**

It was a weekend at the Loud House. Lincoln was in his room, reading an Ace Savvy comic like usual. Charles was relaxing on the bed next to his owner. Then Lincoln checked his watch. It was time for Charles' bath.

"Charles, looks like it's that time of week again." Lincoln said. "Bath time!"

Charles' eyes grew big. He was not looking forward to getting a bath.

"Let's go get the water started." Lincoln said as he left his room. Charles still remained in the room. Lincoln noticed and came back.

"You're gonna have to get in that tub, Charles."

Charles didn't move.

"Now Charles, we can do this the hard way or the easy way." Lincoln explained. "Or the medium way. Or the semi medium easy hard way. Or the sorta hard with a touch of awkward easy difficulty challenging way."

Charles just stares at Lincoln.

"So that's how you wanna play it, huh?" Lincoln said as he glared at his dog. He had ways of getting Charles to take a bath.

Lincoln's first attempt was a pet ball for Charles.

"Oh Charles, check out this new toy." Lincoln said and grabbed a pet ball from inside the box. "Fetch!"

Lincoln threw the toy. Charles went to catch it. The toy flew in the direction of the bathroom but suddenly came back to Lincoln. Lincoln was surprised. He checked the title on the box.

"New boomerang pet toy. Really works." Lincoln read.

Charles chewed on his toy. Lincoln angrily threw the box behind him and walked away. But the box came back and hit him in the back of the head, knocking him down. The next attempt was a bomb. Well, a water bomb. It was strapped to Lincoln.

"Charles! There's a bomb strapped to my chest!" Lincoln cried. "It's gonna explode in three seconds unless you take a bath!"

Charles stayed where he was.

"Please."

The water balloon exploded, soaking Lincoln.

"Ok, I couldn't use a real bomb." Lincoln told Charles. "That would be insane."

The next attempt, Lincoln was going to use subliminal messages.

"I'm going to assault your mind with subliminal messages." Lincoln told Charles.

He took out his phone and showed Charles pictures of bathroom related things. There was a bathtub, a shower cap, a bar of soap, and Lincoln wearing Lily's diaper. (From the episode: Cover Girls) Lincoln saw the last picture and blushed in embarrassment. He covered the screen.

"Sorry you had to see that."

The next attempt was Lincoln calling the dog pound.

"Hello, city dog pound. I've got a naughty dog here who won't take a bath." Lincoln told them on his phone.

Someone on the phone was talking but Charles couldn't quite make out what they were saying.

"What's that?" Lincoln said. "You've gotten this excuse before?"

The person on the phone hung up.

"Dang it." Lincoln said.

The next attempt was a game of leap frog.

"Hey Charles, how about some leap frog?" Lincoln suggested. Lincoln jumped over Charles. "Ok, your turn."

Charles jumped on Lincoln's back. Lincoln threw him towards the bathroom but his aim was off. Instead, Charles landed upside down next to the bathroom. Soon, Charles was lying and had bandages for his injury. Lincoln showed up.

"Hey Charles, how about some leap frog?"

Charles threw a pillow at him.

Next attempt, Lincoln was holding a bag of dog treats.

"I've got a bag of doggie treats for the next person to take a bath in this house." Lincoln told the dog.

But Lana suddenly showed up in a bathrobe, and was somehow driving the bathtub. She swiped the bag of treats and left. Next, Lincoln performed a long and weird dance. When he was done, he was exhausted. Charles just stared at him.

"That didn't work either, huh."

Now, Lincoln was attempting a more complicated plan to get his dog to take a bath. He dressed up as a pirate and he hid his buried "treasure" somewhere in the house. Charles was in the kitchen eating lunch. Lincoln ran into the kitchen holding a map.

"Charles! Hey, look what I found." Lincoln said excitedly, holding out the treasure map, which was a piece of paper. "An old treasure map revealing buried treasure in this house."

On the paper, there was a drawing of the treasure leading to a palm tree, which was really the bathroom. But the word "bathroom" was crossed out.

"Let's go find that treasure, buddy!" Lincoln said and Charles followed him to the stairs. "Ok, we have to go forty paces to the left. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10-"

They soon made it up upstairs near the bathroom.

"25, 26, 27-"

Lincoln realized they made it to the bathroom.

"40! The treasure must be in here, Charles."

Lincoln opened the door and inside The was the bathtub, painted to look like a treasure chest.

"Look Charles, treasure!" Lincoln said excitedly.

Charles barked.

"No Charles, this isn't the bathtub." Lincoln confirmed. He kicked a bucket of paint away. "It's treasure!"

Lincoln reaches into the tub to grab something. "Look! Doubloons! Don't drop em'!"

The doubloons were just bars of soap.

"Ooh! Look at this broach!" Lincoln said as he took out a rubber duck.

Charles barked.

"I don't know what a dog would want with a broach!" Lincoln snapped angrily as he ripped off his pirate getup. "Now why don't you just get in the tub?"

Lincoln grabbed the dog and threw him in the tub. But Charles hung onto Lincoln. The boy tried many times to get his dog into the tub but Charles was too stubborn. Lincoln's eye twitched.

"Now Charles, are you gonna get in this tub or am I gonna have to-"

As Lincoln was trying to pull Charles onto the tub, he pulled too hard and crashed into the mirror, breaking it. Charles ran away after that. Lincoln groaned. He got up and slipped on one a soap bar, causing him too land in the tub. Now Lincoln was soaked and furious.

"That's it, Charles!" Lincoln said. "You have have frustrated me for the last time! So if I can't bring you to the bath, I'll just have to bring the bath to you."

Lincoln goes to his room. He reaches under his bed and pulls out a water gun he got as a birthday present. Lincoln went to go fill it up. In the living room, Charles was watching tv. Lincoln showed up.

"Hey Charles." Lincoln got his gun ready. "Bath delivery!"

Charles got scared. Lincoln aimed the water gun at him and squirted water. Charles leapt out of the way and the couch got wet.

"Come back, Charles. I have something to chair with you." Lincoln joked.

The boy chased after his dog. He continued to squirt water all over the house. Charles ran to the kitchen. As he passed by, Lincoln squirted water at the dishes, getting them clean.

"Dish is more like it." Lincoln puned.

Lincoln continued to chase Charles while squirting water around the house. Charles made it outside through his doggie door. Some water came out through the door. Lincoln opened the door.

"Water you waiting for, Charles?!" Lincoln puned again.

Suddenly, Charles' barking was heard from the tree in the front lawn. Lincoln went to it.

"Aw, stuck in a tree?" Lincoln asked. He got a ladder and climbed up to the tree branch. "It's time to clean up your act, Charles!"

Lincoln squirted water at the dog. He eventually ran out. Then he realized Charles was fusing out.

"Oh no! Charles! Are you ok?" Lincoln asked. But the dog in the tree was just a robot. The real Charles was still on the ground, pulling on the ladder. He barked to get Lincoln's attention. "Charles! Bring that ladder back this instant!"

The ladder fell to the ground.

"I am really not amused, mister!" Lincoln said. "You are going to a bath and get clean right now."

Charles barked.

"I am so the boss of you!"

Charles barked.

"It may be a free country, but you live in our house under our rules."

Charles barked.

"Don't use that tone of voice with me. You will do what I say when I say."

Charles walked to a mud puddle.

"What are you doing?" Lincoln asked. "I'm talking to you, mister. Charles, get away from that mud puddle! Charles the dog, do you hear me? You have three seconds to get away from that mud puddle!"

"One!"

Charles got closer.

"Two!"

Charles got even closer.

"Two and a half."

Charles stretched his paw out above the mud.

"Don't make me say three." Lincoln warned. Charles stayed where he was. "Charles! Charles! Charles!!!!"

As Lincoln was scolding his dog, he accidentally fell out of the tree and landed on his back in the mud, getting mud all over him.

"I'm a dirty boy." Lincoln said defeated.

Soon, Lincoln was the one who ended up taking a bath. Charles was watching him. He barked.

"Yeah, Yeah, Charles. I'm getting behind my ears." Lincoln said unhappily, using soap to clean himself.

Charles smiled.

 **Hope you enjoyed this. Should the next chapter be Wet Painters or The Camping Episode? Leave a review please. Bye.**


	11. Chapter 11: Louds Campout

**I'm back with the next chapter! It looks like The Camping Episode got more votes, so this chapter is a parody of that episode. The next chapter will be Wet Painters. So I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

It was the weekend and Lincoln and Clyde were preparing for their camp out.

"Sleeping bags?" Lincoln asked.

"Check." Clyde said, folding the sleeping bags.

"Marshmallows."

"Check."

Lincoln looked at his list. "What about the tent?"

"It's outside." Clyde replied.

"Good." Lincoln looked at the viewers. "Me and Clyde are going camping. We wanted to spend some quality bro time. Maybe this will be a better camp out then the one we had with Clyde's dads." (Roughing It)

"Ok Clyde, let's go camping."

Lori and Leni were in their room relaxing.

"Ah, the weekend is here." Lori said happily. "And this isn't just any weekend. Lincoln and Clyde are going camping today."

P"But what if they got lost in the woods and never came back?" Leni said worried.

Leni imagines Lincoln and Clyde lost in the woods.

"Clyde, I'm scared." Lincoln whined.

Leni comes back to reality. "That would be horrible!"

"Relax Leni, I'm sure they'll be fine." Lori assured her. "Besides, we girls got the whole house to ourselves since Dad and Mom are working all weekend. And we won't have to see Lincoln reading comics in his undies for two whole days."

Leni thought for a moment. "Hey, it's been a while since we've been camping. Maybe we should join them."

"No thanks." Lori said. "I'm more comfortable inside."

"Ok, then I'll join them."

Leni got her camping hat and went downstairs to join the two boys. The twins saw this.

"Hey big sis." Lana greeted. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going camping with Lincoln and Clyde." Leni replied.

"Cool. Can we join?" Lana asked.

"Yeah, we've got nothing exciting to do right now." Lola added.

"Sure." Leni replied.

Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lola, Lily, and Lisa showed up.

"We wanna join too." Lynn said.

"Yay!" The other siblings said.

Outside, the siblings told the boys they wanted to join them in the campout too.

"Well, this was going to be boys only campout." Lincoln said. "But what the heck. Let's make it a sibling campout!"

"Sibling/friend campout." Clyde corrected. "And were gonna need a bigger tent."

"We can use that inflatable tent we just bought recently." Lynn suggested.

"Great." Lincoln said. "Also, we have some important stuff to discuss before we start camping."

Lori was now in the living room watching tv. "Well, looks like I have the whole house to myself."

Just then, Lori heard guitar playing coming from outside.

"Huh?"

Luna was performing some Mic Swagger song on her guitar. Lori poked her head into the tent.

"Hey, I thought you guys were supposed to go camping." Lori reminded.

"We are camping." Lincoln replied.

"Lincoln, it's not camping if you're ten feet away from our house." Lori stated.

"It doesn't matter where you camp as long as you're outdoors." Lincoln said.

"Yeah." Lynn agreed. "While all those soft city folks are inside watching tv, we're out here pitting ourselves against the formidable forces of nature."

"Wanna join us?" Clyde asked.

"No." Lori replied.

"Ok. Have fun inside." Lincoln said.

Lori leaves. Luna prepares to perform again but Lori quickly comes back.

"What do ya mean "have fun inside?" Lori questioned.

"Just have fun inside. See you tomorrow." Lincoln said.

"Oh. Bye."

Luna is about to perform again but Lori comes back again.

"You little sneak. I see what you're doing." Lori said.

"What?" Lincoln asked.

"Don't think I can't see what you're doing."

"What?"

"You're saying I can't take it." Lori said.

"But all I said was-"

Lori interrupted. "Ah, you're saying I'm soft. You think your little have fun inside challenge is gonna make me come camping with you. But that is never gonna happen. There's no way I'm gonna stay here all night with you twerps. So get used to it."

Lori leaves.

"Ok? Have fun inside." Lincoln said.

Lori came back. "THAT'S IT! I'M IN!"

Lori ran back inside the house to get her camping equipment. "I'll show you camping."

"Lori's gonna come camping with us!" Clyde said happily.

Lori came back with her camping gear on her back. Her siblings and Clyde came out of their tent.

"Now I'll show you how a real camper does it." Lori said. She fell over since her camping gear was heavy. She got back up and pulled out something. "Here we go. My remote controlled self assembling tent. Watch and learn."

Lincoln got out binoculars and Clyde out a notepad and pencil. Lori threw the tent in the air and pulled out a remote. She pressed a button but the power fizzles and fell to the floor, unassembled.

"That was great Lori, how do you get inside?" Leni asked. "It's all crushy looking."

"It isn't put up yet, idiot." Lori replied.

Lori grabbed the tent and tried to set it up. She accidentally ripped it.

"Customization!" Lincoln said.

"Genius!" Clyde added.

Lori was now hitting the tent with a stick.

"She's tendering the ground!" Lincoln stated.

"Of course." Clyde said.

Lori was getting tangled up in her tent.

"Right that down! Right that down!" Lincoln ordered.

It was revealed that Clyde was just drawing Lori on his notepad.

Lori finally put up the tent by kicking it.

"Yes!" She cheered. But her tent fell apart. She rolled it away sheepishly.

"Lori, you can chill in our tent." Luna offered. "There's more room in there."

"Yeah, sure." Lori agreed. "Well, I worked up an appetite as big as all outdoors. Time for a little grub. I suppose Lana is gonna stew up some twigs and rocks."

"Ew, no!" Lana said. "Even I wouldn't eat those. We've got something better." She pulls out the bag of marshmallows. "Marshmallows." She ate one.

"Oh boy." Lisa said. "Just like the astronauts eat."

Suddenly, Lincoln was wearing a fake astronaut helmet. He makes a static sound. "Lincoln to Lisa. Lincoln to Lisa. Do you read me? Over."

Lisa also has on a fake astronaut helmet. She makes a static sound. "Lisa to Lincoln. I read you. Over."

"(Static) Lincoln to Lisa. I like going (static) Over."

"(Static) Lisa to Lincoln. (Static) Me too."

Lincoln and Lisa repeatedly make static noises, annoying Lori. Lana joins in.

"(Static) Lana to Lincoln. Help yourself. Over." Lana handed Lincoln the bag of marshmallows.

"Yummy!" Lincoln took off his helmet and ate a marshmallow. "The deliciousness has landed."

"Well, you astronauts can eat marshmallows all you want." Lori said and took out a can. "I'm gonna have some Swedish meatballs. Just as soon as I get a can opener."

Lori was about to head inside the house but Clyde stopped her.

"But Lori, didn't you take the can opener when you hiked out here?" He asked.

"Why bother? We're ten feet from the house." Lori reminded him.

"But this is the wilderness." Clyde said. "It just doesn't fit the camping spirit."

"Pretty weeny." Lynn said.

"Alright, gimme a marshmallow." Lori said.

The siblings sat down around a campfire, heating their marshmallows. Leni heated her marshmallow too close to the fire and it burned. She blew it too hard and the gooey treat splattered onto Lori's face. Lori whipped it off. Leni heated up another marshmallow too close to the fire. She blew on it once again and it splattered onto Lori's face once again. The annoyed blonde whipped it off. Leni did the same thing with another marshmallow but this time Lori ducked when Leni blew it in her direction. Lori smiled smugly until the marshmallow came back and splattered on the back of her head.

"Ok, besides blowing molten food at me, what else do you guys do for fun?" Lori asked.

"Well, after a long day of camping, it's great to unwind to a nice relaxing campfire song." Luna said taking out her guitar. "I call this one the campfire song song."

Luna began to play her guitar and sing. "Let's gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song. Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song. And if you don't think that we can sing it faster than you're wrong, but it'll help if you just sing along!"

Leni sang along. "Bum bum bum!"

Luna sang faster. Her siblings tried to sing too but couldn't quite sing it right. "C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! And if you don't think that we can sing it faster than you're wrong, but it'll help if you just sing along!"

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!" Everybody sing!"

The siblings sang except Lori.

"You too Lori." Lori still remained silent. "Good."

"It'll help!" Luna sang. "It'll help if you just sing along!"

Luan assisted Luna with her song by playing the drums. Luna leaped and played a guitar riff. Luan ran up to her and smashed the drums on Luna. Luna popped through the drums. "OH YEAH!"

"Now wasn't that relaxing?" Luna asked.

"No." Lori said. She took out a clarinet. "This is relaxing."

Lori began to play. Lincoln and Clyde panicked.

"Oh no! Don't worry Lori, I'll save you!"

Lincoln grabbed a marshmallow and used a slingshot to aim it at Lori. The marshmallow went straight through the clarinet and into Lori's mouth. She fell on her back with the clarinet still in her mouth. The other siblings gasped. Lincoln rushed to his sister.

"Lori, are you ok?" Lincoln asked. "Just chew and swallow."

Lori chewed and swallowed the marshmallow.

"There. Better?"

"Better?!" Lori yelled. "I was literally just fine until you threw that ballistic junk food into my windpipe!"

"But I had to." Lincoln explained. "It's too dangerous to be playing the clarinet badly out in the wilderness. It might attract.."

Lincoln leaned closer to Lori and whispered in her ear. "A bear."

"A bear?" Lori questioned. "Really? Where did you hear that from?"

Clyde pulled out a magazine. "It says so in The Royal Woods Inquirer."

"Killer mama bears attack awful clarinet players." Lori read the cover.

"Yeah, And fake science monthly." Lisa added pulling out a magazine. "Me and Lucy saw this."

"Bears and unicorns: Beware!" Lori read.

"Yeah, we discussed about this earlier today." Lincoln said. "So now we know how to protect ourselves."

"Ok, unicorns don't exist and bears live in the forest. They're not gonna hear my clarinet playing from here."

"Trust me, Lori. Bears have strong hearing when it comes to playing music badly." Lincoln said.

"He's right." Clyde agreed. "I knew this guy who knew this guy who this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin-"

"You're right!" Lori blurted out. "I should be more careful. So why don't you tell me what I shouldn't do if I wanna keep the bears away?"

"Ok. That's easy." Lincoln said. "First off, don't play your clarinet."

"Ok, then what?"

"Never wave your flashlight back and forth really fast." Lincoln said.

"Flashlights are their natural prey." Lana said.

"Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge." Lincoln explained.

"Go on." Lori said as she took notes.

"Never eat cheese."

"Sliced or cubed?"

Lincoln and Clyde whisper to each other.

"Cubed. Sliced is fine." Lincoln said.

"Yeah, Yeah, and-" Lori ordered.

"Never wear a sombrero-" Lincoln said.

"In a goofy fashion." Leni said.

"Or clown shoes." Luan added.

"Or a hoop skirt." Lola added.

"And never ever ever ever screech like a chimpanzee!" Lincoln and Clyde said together.

"Wow. It's amazing how many things can set a bear off." Lori said.

"They're horrible." Lincoln and Clyde said simultaneously.

"And suddenly, I fear that we're all in danger." Lori said worried.

"Why?" The siblings asked.

"I don't know." Lori said. Then she ran and came back with a sombrero, a flashlight, a plate with cubed cheese, a hooped skirt, and clown shoes. "Just a feeling!"

"No." Lincoln said.

"Yes." Lori said mischievously.

"No!"

Lori started screeching.

"Lori, please don't!" Her siblings yelled.

Lori began screeching and stomping. She waved her flashlight too.

"Lincoln, what do we do?" Lana asked. "A bear is sure to come and eat us!"

"Don't worry guys!" Lincoln said. "I'll draw us an anti bear circle in the dirt."

Lincoln grabbed a stick and started drew a circle around Clyde and the sisters.

"Good thinking!" Clyde said. He pulled out a magazine. "All the experts say it's the only defense against a bear attack."

The siblings and Clyde all sat down and cuddled each other.

"You guys are so gullible!" Lori said. "If this stuff is for real, why didn't one show up?"

"Maybe it's because you're not wearing your sombrero in a goody fashion." Lucy thought.

"Oh. You mean like this?" Lori tilted her sombrero and started laughing.

Suddenly, someone's arm reached up and put Lori's sombrero upside down. It was a bear.

"No. Like that." Lucy corrected.

Lori then saw the bear. The bear roared. Lori screamed and ran away. The bear chased after her and beat her up. It left when it was done.

"OMG! Lori! Are you ok?" Leni asked.

"No." Lori groaned as she was all bruised up.

"Quick! Jump in our anti bear circle before he comes back!" Lincoln said as he and the others carried the dirt circle with them.

"Yeah, bears often attack more than once." Clyde added.

"Are you crazy?" Lori said. "A dirt circle won't stop that monster! I'm running for my life!"

"NO!" Her siblings and Clyde yelled.

It was too late. The bear came back and attacked Lori again, then left.

"Don't run! They hate that!" Lincoln stated.

"Thanks for the tip." Lori said in pain. "I guess I'll just limp home then."

"NO!" The others yelled.

The bear came back again and attacked Lori again, then left.

"They hate limping more than running!" Lincoln said.

Lori was about to head inside again. "Well, I guess I'll just-"

The bear came back and mauled Lori, then left.

"I should have warned you about crawling." Lincoln said.

Then the bear came back and beat up Lori, then left.

"What did I do that time?" Lori asked.

"I don't know." Lincoln replied. "I guess he just doesn't like you."

"Prepare to be someone else!" Clyde suggested.

"Here! Draw a circle in the dirt!" Lincoln suggested, throwing a stick at her.

The bear came back and attacked again and left.

"That was an oval! It has to be a circle!"

"Move over!!!" Lori yelled and jumped into the kids circle.

The bear came back but noticed the circle around the kids. The bear glared at Lori before leaving.

"It worked!" Lori said happily. "You guys saved my life!"

"Hooray!" Everyone cheered. They all hugged Lori.

"Yeah, I'm glad it was just a bear." Lincoln said. "This circle would never hold back a rhinoceros."

"What attracts them?" Lori asked.

"The sound of a bear attack." Clyde answered.

Suddenly, a rhinoceros was right in front of the kids.

"Good thing we're all wearing our rhinoceros undergarments." Lincoln said.

"Yeah!" The other siblings said except for Lori.

"Right Lori?" Lincoln asked.

"Huh?" Lori said in a worried tone.

 **Well, what did you think of this chapter? I was thinking of using Chandler as Squidward but then I just decided to use Lori instead. Please review and I'll be back with the next chapter!**


	12. Chapter 12: Wet Painters

**I'm back with the next chapter! A Wet Painters parody! I decided to use Luan and Leni, also Mr. Grouse as Mr. Krabs. Now that you got the info, please read and review. Enjoy!**

Luan, Lori, and Leni are all hanging out in the front yard of their house.

"Hey Lori." Luan called. "Check this out! Two ordinary pie cans. But when expertly tossed with the skill of a champ they become-"

Luan tossed the pie pans across the floor. Leni jumped into them and slid across the ground.

"A one way ticket to pain!"

Leni crashes into Mr. Grouse's yard. She breaks a lawn ornament. Mr. Grouse heard this from inside his house.

"Huh?"

Outside, Luan is riding on Leni's back as they slid through Mr. Grouse's lawn.

"Yeah hoo!" Luan shouted.

They crash. Mr Grouse opens his front door, annoyed.

"What the heck is going on out here?!" Mr. Grouse yelled. "Can't you Louds do something normal..in your own lawn!"

"But Mr. Grouse, we were performing a ritual for my birthday gigs." Luan explained. "And the only way for the ritual to work is for us to get hurt. Really bad."

"What idiot told you that?" Mr. Grouse asked.

Lori heard this. Feeling sheepish, she covered herself with a magazine.

"Listen, instead of killing yourselves, I've got something real important for you to do for me." Mr. Grouse suggested.

Luan and Leni are now inside Mr. Grouse's house. He leads them to his basement. They're all standing by the basement door. "So are you girls ready for your super-"

"Super." They repeated.

"Special-"

"Special!"

"Secret." Mr. Grouse said quietly.

"Secret." Leni and Luan said quietly.

"Assignment!"

Leni and Luan freaked out. They were not prepared for an assignment.

"The two are you are gonna paint the inside of my basement." Mr. Grouse finally said.

"Yay!" Luan and Leni cheered.

"But let me give you two a warning." Mr Grouse said sternly, handing the teens each a bucket of paint. "This paint is absolutely permanent. It will never come off. So if I see even one drop on anything but the wall, I'll take one personal belonging from both of you!"

Luan and Leni looked worried.

"I'll be out shopping." Mr. Grouse said in a calm tone. "So have fun with the job."

Mr. Grouse left. Leni and Luan entered the basement. They noticed Mr. Grouse had a lot of stuff on his wall, which may make the job harder.

"Leni?" Luan asked.

"Yeah, Luan?" Leni replied.

"Mr. Grouse sure has a lot of expensive treasures to drip paint on. Do you think we should take this stuff off the wall?"

"No, Luan." Leni responded. "We're not getting paid to move stuff."

"Leni, we're not getting paid at all." Luan reminded her.

"That's what I said. We're not getting paid and that's final."

"Ok, we'll just paint around all this stuff." Luan suggested.

"Good. Just don't pay me."

"First, we need to set out the tarps." Luan said.

"Tarp ahoy!" Leni replied.

They set out the tarp on the floor, but it turns out to be a tiny piece.

"We're gonna need more coverage, Leni."

They set out more tarps but they don't cover the whole floor.

"Now that's what I'm talking about." Luan said. She turned to her sister. "Well, I guess we should open these cans of permanent paint now."

"That will never ever ever come off." Leni said.

"And if we get it on anything, Mr. Grouse will take away our personal belongings." Luan said worried. "I can't lose my Mr. Coconuts!"

"And I can't lose my...sunglasses." Leni said. "Wait, where are my sunglasses?!"

"They're on your head, Leni." Luan said. "Like they always are."

"Oh. Right."

Luan took out a screwdriver and tried to open the lid carefully.

"Careful Luan! Careful Luan! Luan! Be careful! Careful Luan! Careful Luan! CAREFUL LUAN!"

"Leni, the lid's already off." Luan said, holding the lid.

"Oh. Now it's my turn." Leni takes out a battle ax and hits the bucket with it. Luan grabs the other paint can.

"I think I should do this one too, Leni." Luan unscrewed the second can but a drop of paint flew out. Luan and Leni screamed. The drop bounced off a tarp. Leni and Luan screamed even louder. The drop bounced off all the tarps and landed back in the bucket.

"Well, that was a rip off." Leni said.

"Ok Leni, let's get our brushes ready." Luan held up a big brush. "Um, Maybe we should start with a smaller brush."

Luan took out a smaller brush but Leni took the big one. Luan dipped her paintbrush into the paint. She walked over to the wall to start the task.

"Alright Leni, gotta get started." Luan said nervously. "Painting this Wall. With the permanent paint that we aren't allowed to get on anything but the wall. Well, here we go."

One hour later..

Luan was still standing in the same spot, sweating nervously. "Just a few more seconds of mental preparation and I'll be painting this wall."

Two hours later..

Luan is still standing in the same spot and sweating. "I'm getting to the painting."

Three hours later..

Leni was actually holding a card that said "Three hours later" on it. "Can you move along? I'm running out of time cards."

"No problem." Luan replied nervously. "Here I go.

She finally painted a tiny line on the wall. Luan looked proud of herself. But then the line starts to go down. Luan quickly blew on the paint but now it went in a different direction. Luan panicked. She continued blowing the paint, trying to avoid getting it on any other stuff as it kept going in different directions. Then she pulled out a hair dryer that blew on the paint. It formed a bubble that blew off the line. Luan blew on the hair dryer, feeling proud. But then she saw a big bubble in front of her.

"Oh my gosh! What could be worse than a giant paint bubble?" Luan panicked.

"Oh. I know." Leni replied. She got a bubble wand and dipped it in the can of paint. Then she blew another giant bubble. "Two paint bubbles!"

Luan panicked. The paint bubbles merge together to create a bigger bubble.

"Leni?"

"Yeah, Luan?"

"I don't think this bubble can get much bigger."

"Nonsense." Leni now had a pump and used it to make the bubble even bigger.

"LENI, NO!"

The bubble popped and drops of paint spread everywhere on the wall. Luan moves from one spot and the paint landed in her spot. Luan was amazed that all the white paint got on the wall and didn't get on anything else.

"We did it, Leni!" Luan cheered. "We painted the whole house. And without getting any paint on anything but the-" She noticed something. "Flippin' fruitcake! What's that?!"

She saw a tiny dot of paint on Mr. Grouse's family picture that was hung on the wall. She fell on her back. Leni walked up to her. "We're dead, Leni! Do you know what that is?"

Leni looked closely. "Hmm. It's a picture. I win!"

"That's not just a picture!" Luan stated. "It's Mr. Grouse's family picture. Probably his most prized possession. And we got paint on it!"

"I think you're overreacting, Luan. I don't see any paint."

Luan picked up the picture. "Ok. This isn't a problem. Maybe I can just whip it off."

Luan used her gag flower to whip off the paint but only made it noticeable. She tried to whip it harder but now it was covering the whole picture. She freaked out.

"Oh. Now I see it." Leni pointed out.

"This is not good, Leni. This is not good! Mr. Grouse will be home soon, and when he sees what we did to his family picture-"

Luan and Leni pictured Mr. Grouse wearing Leni's sunglasses and using Mr. Coconuts as wood for his fireplace. He is sipping tea and has a smug look on his face. Luan and Leni come back to reality and screamed.

"Wait Luan, all we just gotta wash the paint off and Grouse will never know." Leni stated.

"But Grouse said-"

"Forget what Grouse said! Every paint comes off with something!"

First, Luan and Leni tried getting rid of the paint by putting it in a washing machine. They took the picture of its frame.

"Did it work?" Luan asked her sister, who was in the machine.

Leni came out with the picture. "Nope."

Next, Luan is using a sanding machine to clean the picture while Leni is holding it. Leni was wearing gloves to protect her hands.

"Did it work?" Luan asked.

"Nope." Leni said. Her gloves were now burned.

Then, Luan used a hose to wash off the paint while Leni holded it.

"Did it work?" Luan asked.

Nope." Leni replied, as she was soaking wet.

Now, Luan was using a basebat to hit the picture that Leni was holding but Leni got injured. They had also used a bunch of other weapons that didn't work.

"Nothing's working!" Luan cried.

"Wait, Luan, we're not cavemen." Leni mentioned. She and Luan went to Mr. Grouse's computer. "We have technology."

Leni picked up the computer and smashed it on the picture. But of course, that didn't help.

"It didn't work." Luan said.

"This is like, all Mr. Grouse's fault!" Leni said angrily. "If he hadn't hung that stupid picture in the first place. Why didn't he just put it in a photo album?"

Leni angrily kicked a drawer. It opened up and she saw another picture of Mr. Grouse's family. It looked exactly the same as his family picture he hung in the basement.

"Oh great. Another family picture. Just what we need." Leni said sarcastically.

Luan looked in the drawer and saw the picture.

"Wait a minute. It is just what we need!" Luan said. "He must've taken a second photo with his family. Our belongings are saved! Let's go hang this on the wall."

Leni was about to pick up the picture but then the drawer automatically closed by itself. Then a recorded voice was heard. "Intruder alert! Stay away from Mr. Grouse's drawer!"

Leni and Luan backed away.

"I guess we can't go into his drawer." Luan said. "Ok, ok! We still got time!

Luan went to a mirror. "Don't panic Luan! Panic is the enemy! You are strong! Through your strength you shall overcome!"

Just then, Mr. Grouse's voice was heard outside. He was singing a tune and he was back from his shopping.

"You're on your own pal!" Luan's reflection said and left.

Luan started to panic. "Quick Leni! Let's go to the basement and put Grouse's picture on the wall! I have an idea!"

Mr. Grouse walked into his house. He set his groceries in the kitchen. "I better go check on those girls."

Mr. Grouse heads to his basement. He opens the door to see the lights are off.

"What the-"

"We're all done sir." Luan said. "Everything looks great."

"Yeah, you don't have to look around. We already did that for you." Leni mentioned.

Mr. Grouse turns the light on. The two girls are both smiling nervously.

"You both look like you've got a dirty secret." Mr. Grouse said. Luan and Leni looked worried. "Ha. I'm kidding. Let's see how you did."

Mr. Grouse looked around. "Hmm, not bad girls, not bad. A nice even coat. High gloss. No bubbles."

"Yeah. Looks great Mr. Grouse." Luan said nervously. "We'll just be going."

Luan and Leni were about to leave but Mr. Grouse noticed something.

"Holy Hannah! Look what you did!"

Luan and Leni begged for mercy. "We're sorry, Mr. Grouse! Please don't take away our stuff!

"Sorry? You dusted all my Knick knacks." Mr. Grouse confirmed. "That was real nice of you!" He noticed something else. "Great geysers! What's that?"

Luan and Leni begged for mercy again. "It was an accident! Don't take our stuff!"

Mr. Grouse looked at the paintings at the bottom of the wall. There were paintings of cars driving on the road. "And I suppose the floor molding just painted itself. That's what I call craftsmanship." He noticed something else. "Criminy Jim Jim! You messed up my photo..camera!"

Mr. Grouse went to a table and took his camera. "Oh, never mind. It's fine. But the camera should be on the book shelf."

Mr. Grouse put his camera on the bookshelf. "And you girls thought I wouldn't notice. Oh well, no harm done. Ok girls, you're free to go!"

But then the old man bumped into a stack of paintings on the wall. "Ow! That's funny. I don't remember all these paintings on the wall where my family photo used to be." He examined the paintings. "In fact, I don't remember this one at all."

Mr. Grouse took off the paintings from the wall, saying he didn't remember any of them. Luan and Leni were shaking with fear. When Mr. Grouse took of the last painting and found Luan glued to the wall.

"Hi Mr. Grouse." Luan greeted nervously.

"Luan, What are you doing?" Mr. Grouse asked.

"Oh, just sticking around." Luan laughs at her joke. "Get it?"

"Boo!" Leni replied.

"Get off my wall, Loud." Mr. Grouse ordered.

"I wish I could, but I'm stuck." Luan said.

But Mr. Grouse easily pulled her off the wall.

"No no, Mr. Grouse! Don't look at the trick!"

Grouse saw his family photo on the wall. He glared at the two Loud sisters. "Did you girls get paint all over my family picture?"

We're so sorry!" Leni and Luan apologized.

Mr. Grouse looked back at the picture. "And then did you draw on it with crayon?!"

The photo now had a drawing of Mr. Grouse and his family. Luan turned to her older sister who had a crayon in her hand.

"I thought he might buy it." Leni said.

"Alright girls, you know what I gotta do now?" Mr. Grouse asked angrily.

"Take our personal stuff?" Luan answered.

"Can I say goodbye to my glasses first?" Leni asked.

But Mr. Grouse just grabbed his picture and licked the paint off. Now his picture was clear. He hanged his picture back on the wall. "There we go. Good as new."

Luan and Leni were stunned.

"But but but but-"

"Yeah, I lied. This paint actually comes off with saliva." Mr. Grouse confesses.

Luan realized something. "Oh, I get it. You told us the paint was permanent so me and Leni would be more careful and not get paint on anything."

"No." Mr. Grouse replied. "I just like to mess with you."

Mr. Grouse starts laughing. Angry, Leni and Luan leave Mr. Grouse's house. Mr. Grouse continues laughing. He laughs so hard, saliva comes out of his mouth and spreads everywhere. He stops laughing when he sees the paint dripping off the walls.

"Crud." Mr. Grouse said. "I really gotta learn to say it, not spray it."


	13. Chapter 13: Frankendoodle

**I'm back with a requested parody, Frankendoodle. This one will have Lincoln, Lisa, and Clyde as the main characters. So I will finally be using Lisa as a main character. Lisa won't be in it as much as Lincoln and Clyde. If anyone has an parody idea for Lola, I would like to hear it. Hope you enjoy this!**

Lisa Loud has been busy in her room working on a new invention. Lily was watching. She was curious as to what her big sister was making. She crawled over.

"Lily, my newest invention is finally complete!" Lisa said excitedly.

"Goo goo ga?" Asked the baby.

"I'm glad you asked, younger one." Lisa lifted up her invention. It was a giant glowing pencil. "I've created the world's first magic pencil! With this baby, I can make drawings come to life."

Lily looked impressed.

Before Lisa could use it, she heard her mom call out to her.

"Lisa, it's time for your eye appointment!" Her mother said.

"Curse my visionary perception tests." Lisa muttered. "Coming mother!"

Lisa puts her invention on her bed and rushes downstairs. As soon as Lisa was gone, Lincoln and Clyde came out of Lincoln's room.

"Man, My thumbs always get sore from playing those intense video games." Clyde said. His thumbs were red.

"Yeah, let's go put some ice on that." Lincoln suggested.

The boys walk past Lisa and Lily's room. They walk back when they notice the glowing pencil on Lisa's bed.

"What is that, Lincoln?" Clyde asked.

"It looks like a giant glowing pencil." Lincoln replied.

"Touch it."

Lincoln does so. "It is a giant pencil Clyde. Must be a new invention from Lisa. Let's draw some giant pictures with it. I'm sure Lisa won't mind."

Lincoln gets out a piece of paper. Clyde comes close to Lincoln. "Whatcha drawing?"

Lincoln shoved him. "Stand back man. I can't have you breathing down my neck while I'm drawing."

"Psst, artists."

Lincoln draws with the pencil. "It's a bird."

The bird looked like Walt, the pet canary.

"Pretty good Lincoln." Clyde commented. "But it's lacking basic construction. And your perspective leaves a lot to be desired."

"Eh, everybody's a critic."

Suddenly, Lincoln's bird drawing came to life. It flew in the air.

"Lincoln, your drawing's coming to life." Clyde said, noticing this.

"Now that's more like it Mr. Critic." Lincoln said, oblivious.

"No, I mean it's flying away."

Lincoln saw this too. And so did Lily.

"Do you know what this means Clyde?" Lincoln asked.

"Your art can never be hung in a museum?" Clyde replied.

"It means we found a magic pencil!"

"Now all I need is a magic mustache to impress Lori with." Clyde said.

"One mustache coming up." Lincoln drew one on Clyde.

"Life is good!" Clyde commented. The mustache flew off of him. "Easy come easy go."

The mustache flew into the living room, into the chimney, and outside. It flew into Mr. Grouse's house. Mr. Grouse was looking at himself in the mirror.

"Grouse, if you had some hair you would be the handsomest old man in town." Mr. Grouse said to himself. "You've got looks, talent, all you need is a full head of-"

The drawn mustache flew into his head.

"Hair!"

Back at the Loud House..

"My turn!" Clyde said.

"Be careful, Clyde." Lincoln advised. "Being an artist is a heavy responsibility. Each work of art is like a child and must be treated such."

"Come on, I was just gonna draw a cartoon." Clyde said.

"Okay! Why didn't you say so?"

Lincoln handed Clyde the pencil. Clyde draws on a piece of paper. He draws a crudely drawn picture of Lori who had a short stature. She's waving a fist.

"What's that? A pet?" Lincoln asked.

"It's Lori, silly!"

The drawing of Lori comes to life. It only speaks in gibberish.

"It's kinda creepy looking when it moves." Lincoln commented.

"Yeah, you're right." Clyde agreed.

"We can't let that thing escape." Lincoln said.

Clyde erases it. "Poor Lori."

"Hey! My brain just hatched an idea." Lincoln said, taking the pencil.

He runs off with the pencil and Clyde follows him. They go outside to Mr. Grouse's house. Lincoln draws a fake dollar on their neighbor's welcome mat. Then he draws a string attached to the dollar. He and Clyde hid at the side of the house.

"This is gonna be classic." Lincoln said giggling.

Inside the house, Mr. Grouse was dressed in a fancy suit to go with his new "hairstyle". "I think I'll fancy myself to a walk in the park."

Just then, he heard Lincoln. "Oh Mr. Grouse!"

Mr. Grouse opened the door. "What do ya want Lo-" He sees the dollar. "Hello, what's this? Someone left me some money for a perm."

Lincoln and Clyde couldn't help but snicker.

"Come to hairy." Mr. Grouse reaches for the dollar but Lincoln pulls the string and takes the dollar away. Mr. Grouse falls over.

Lincoln and Clyde burst out laughing. Mr. Grouse sees them.

"Loud!" Mr. Grouse yelled. His hair flies away. "No, my hair! Loud!"

The old man went back inside and slammed the door. Lincoln and Clyde laugh even harder.

"Wait. I've got another idea." Lincoln said. "This'll be the ultimate prank! I'll draw me and when Mr. Grouse opens the door it won't be me!"

Lincoln draws a crude drawing of himself. Clyde laughs.

"Aw, isn't he cute?" Lincoln said. "All he needs is a tuft of hair."

Lincoln adds the finishing touches. "Ready for action!"

The drawing of Lincoln makes weird noises. It walks up to Mr. Grouse's door. Lincoln and Clyde hid.

"He's walking up to the door." Clyde said.

He knocks.

"He's knocking on the door." Lincoln said.

Mr. Grouse opens the door.

"Grouse is answering the door and-"

The drawing of Lincoln grabs the old man by the legs and starts beating him up.

Clyde is smiling but Lincoln looks worried.

"He's beating up Mr. Grouse!" Clyde cheered.

The doodle continued to beat up Mr. Grouse.

"Doodleboy, Stop!" Lincoln yelled.

The doodle Lincoln threw the old man back into his house. He starts speaking gibberish and knocks down the two boys, stealing their pencil. He runs off with it.

"He's got the pencil." Clyde mentioned.

"What have I done?" Lincoln said worried. "We've got to find him and get that pencil back or else Lisa will kill me!"

Lincoln and Clyde search in the Royal Woods forest, but they saw no sign of him.

"Where could he possibly be?" Lincoln wondered.

"Maybe he's in that poorly drawn house." Clyde pointed to a drawn house that looked similar to Lincoln's house.

"Come on, let's go!" Lincoln said.

Clyde hid in a bush. "I'm not going in there."

Lincoln jumped in with him. "Come on Clyde. I'm right behind you. Baby steps."

The boys stuck each of their legs out from under the bush. They both walked towards the poorly drawn house.

"Almost there." Lincoln said.

Just then, Doodle Lincoln stuck his arm out the door and drew a hole in the ground. Lincoln and Clyde didn't see it so they fell down. The hole was deep.

"What just happened?" Clyde asked.

The doodle was seen above the hole, speaking gibberish.

"Come on Clyde, give me a boost up." Lincoln ordered.

"Can't we just stay down here where it's safe?" Clyde asked.

"No way. I created this monster and I've got to stop him."

Suddenly, a giant drawn wrench fell on Clyde.

"See what I mean, Clyde?"

"Where's the leak ma'am?" Clyde asked dizzily.

The boys climbed out the hole and saw Doodle Linc. He drew a bowling ball on a rock, picked it up, and rolled it towards Clyde. Clyde screamed and the bowling bowl knocked him back down the hole. Strike one. The bowling ball fell down the hole and hit Clyde again. Strike two.

"Clyde, you ok?" Lincoln asked.

"Finland!" Clyde yelled back.

The doodle yelled out more gibberish and ran off with the pencil again.

Lincoln and Clyde quietly followed the sound of the living drawing. They looked over a bush and saw him playing with pencil.

"There He is." Lincoln pointed out.

"He's hideous. He makes me sick just looking at him." Clyde commented. "That shirt, those buck teeth, and that stupid white hair."

Lincoln realized he had all those things Clyde had just mentioned. He felt offended.

"Oh, but it looks good on you Lincoln." Clyde said nervously.

Lincoln notices something. "He's putting down the pencil, Clyde. This is our chance. On the count of three, we'll jump out and surprise him."

"Like it's his birthday." Clyde said.

Suddenly, the doodle Lincoln ripped through the bushes. He grabbed Lincoln and raised him on the air.

"Clyde! Clyde! Do something!" Lincoln yelled as flailed his arms.

The doodle Linc threw Lincoln. Clyde picked up some flowers.

"How about a peace offering?" Clyde offered.

But the doodle just smashed a rock on Clyde's head. The doodle was about to run off but Lincoln blocked his way with the pencil in his arms.

"Hold it right there, doodle! I brought you into this world and now I'm taking you out. Any last words?"

The doodle spoke gibberish.

"I'm sorry. What was that?" Lincoln asked confused.

The doodle spoke gibberish a little slower this time. Not that Lincoln would understand anyway. Then the doodle angrily yelled out gibberish. Lincoln erased his face. Since the drawing couldn't see he crashed into a tree.

"Hold still Doodle!" Lincoln said. "This is for your own good! Take this and that and this and that!"

Lincoln was rapidly erasing the doodle of himself.

"RAAAAAR! I AM LINCOLN LOUD! DESTROYER OF EVIL!"

"Take it easy, man." Clyde said. "It's just a drawing."

"Well, that takes care of that, eh Clyde." Lincoln said proudly.

"Done and done." Clyde added.

Lincoln and Clyde leave the forest. But they weren't aware that Doodle Lincoln's arm was not erased.

When Lincoln got home, he returned the pencil to Lisa and told her what happened.

"And that's how I defeated Doodle Lincoln." Lincoln said, finishing up his story.

"Wow." Lisa said impressed. "But I wish you wouldn't use my inventions without permission."

"Sorry Lise. I was curious. But I learned my lesson this time."

"I certainly hope so." Lisa said. "Now if you excuse me, I have to draw some new beakers."

Later that night, Lincoln woke up at 2 AM for a midnight snack.

"Time for get a midnight snack." Lincoln said to himself. He was about to head downstairs but then stopped at Lisa's room. "Or maybe I could draw myself one. I'm just gonna borrow it."

Lincoln quietly sneaks into Lisa's room and tiptoes to the giant pencil which was next to Lisa's bed. He grabs it and leaves her room.

"While I have this pencil, I think I'll spruce up my room a bit." Lincoln suggested.

He went back to his room and added some editions to his room. It was now more fancier. "Gee, I kinda miss the doodle. He was like a son to me. Oh well, time for that midnight snack."

Outside, the doodle finally made its way to the Loud House. It sneaked upstairs but first took a bathroom break. Then it made its way to Lincoln's room where he noticed a glowing light. He sneaked under the door and grabbed the pencil. Lincoln was eating his drawn sandwich but then spits it out.

"I was kinda expecting this to taste awful." Lincoln said, disgusted. He noticed the pencil moving. "Oh. Hey magic pencil. What are you doing up? Drawing yourself a glass of water?"

He laughs. Doodle Lincoln appears. "Aah! Doodle Lincoln! No hard feelings right?"

The doodle draws two angry eyebrows and jumps on Lincoln's bed.

"Aah! What do ya think you're doing, Doodle Lincoln?" Lincoln said.

"Me Lincoln, you Doodle Lincoln!" Doodle Linc said angrily.

Doodle Lincoln aimed his pencil at Lincoln but luckily Lincoln jumped out of the way and the pillow was erased in half. Lincoln ran down the stairs with the doodle following him. Lincoln hides under the living room table. Doodle Lincoln erases the table and ends up erasing the back of Lincoln's pants so his butt was exposed. Doodle Lincoln erased his butt too. Lincoln screamed and backed away.

"Be careful with that thing!" Lincoln warned. "Who knows what'll happen?"

Doodle Lincoln erased his nose.

"I nose." Lincoln said.

The doodle begins to rapidly erase Lincoln. After the dust cleared, only half of Lincoln's body remained. Doodle laughed at him.

"Very funny Doodle." Lincoln said unamused. "Now it's my turn!"

Lincoln grabbed the pencil. He and the doodle started to fight over it for a moment until it broke in half. Lincoln got the top part of the pencil and quickly drew the rest of his body back.

"Well Doodle, it looks like this is a draw." Lincoln declared as he aimed his pencil towards the doodle.

However, the doodle Lincoln used his mouth as a pencil sharpener and fixed up his broken half of the pencil. He aimed his pencil at Lincoln.

"You've made your point." Lincoln said. "No matter. I'm voted most artistic in elementary school."

But Lincoln lost the grip of his pencil, causing it to smash through the window.

"Oops. Maybe it was most clumsy."

The doodle angrily aimed his pencil at Lincoln. In fear, Lincoln backed away. He bumped into a stack of his mom's books.

Lincoln threw one of them an paper scattered all over the floor. Doodle Lincoln cane closer and stepped on a piece of paper, causing his foot to get stuck to the paper. Doodle Lincoln tried to desperately shake it off. Lincoln realized this could stop the doodle. He got out a large book.

"Paper. Page for Mr. Doodle."

Lincoln quickly slammed the open book onto the doodle who screamed in agony. Lincoln looked in the book and saw Doodle Lincoln frowning but was then replaced with a smile. Lincoln's parents came out of their rooms when they heard all the noise in the living room.

"Lincoln, what's going on?" Rita asked. "What are you doing up this late?"

"Um..Well, you see. It's a long story." Lincoln admitted.

"Does this have to do with one of Lisa's inventions?" Lynn Sr. asked, picking up the glowing pencil.

"Yep." Lincoln said.

Lincoln soon returned Lisa's pencil back to her room.

The next day, Lincoln hung a picture of Doodle Lincoln in his room. There was a knock on his door.

"Come in." Lincoln said.

Clyde entered the room. "Hey Lincoln, what's up?"

"Take a look for yourself Clyde."

Clyde saw the picture of the doodle on Lincoln's wall.

"It's the evil Doodle Lincoln!"

"No, not evil." Lincoln stated. He puts on some glasses on blows on a pipe. "He was just a two dimensional creature lost in our three dimensional world. Longing for a purpose."

"So.. he's a drawing?"

"Exactly. See how happy he is."

Clyde took a closer look at the drawing. "He still looks kinda creepy."

Meanwhile, Lisa was getting ready to use her newest invention again. She noticed the tape in the middle of the pencil.

"Lily, have you been using my pencil?" Lisa asked.

Lily shook her head.

"Oh well, time to work on my art skills." Lisa said.

She went to a desk and got out a piece of paper. But as soon as the pencil touched the paper, the lead breaks. Lisa stares in disappointment.

"Dang it. Now I need invent a giant pencil sharpener."


	14. Chapter 14: Dirty Mouth

**A parody of the Spongebob episode-Sailor Mouth. Enjoy!**

It's evening time. Lana was ready to go a walk with Hops.

"Come on Hops." The frog hopped out the front door. But Rita's mom called Lana.

"Hold on, honey!" Rita pulled Lana back inside. "Take that pile of filth with you."

Lana saw Lori holding a trash bag. "(gasps) Mom, you shouldn't talk about Lori like that!"

"She means this filth, you twerp." Lori gestured to the trash bag.

Lana dragged the garbage bag outside and put it in the trash can. Hops followed her. Lana noticed some writing on the trash can. "Trash can writing! The voice of the people!"

She read one. "Poo poo! This one must be from Lily."

She read some more. "Hobos are people too! (laughs) Those hobos! Ooh, here's one I didn't finish. (reads) Lana smells-" Lana wrote something with chalk. "Bad."

She laughs. "Hmm, what's this one?" (reads) Flip is a-" Lana didn't recognize the next word. "Flip is a (censored)"

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" The garbage man asked angrily as he collected the trash and left.

"Well, sometimes but not..recently."

Lola came outside. "Hey sis."

"Hi Lola." Lana replied. "Hey, do you know what this word means?"

Lola looked at the word. "Flip? Isn't he the old guy who owns that gas station/mini mart?"

"Not that word." Lana corrected and pointed at the word at the end. "That one."

Lola looked at it. "(Censored) Oh. I think I know what that word means. I heard Lori use it once. That's one of those sentence enhancers."

"Sentence enhancers?"

"You use them when you wanna talk fancy." Lola explained. "You just sprinkle it over anything you say and you've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich."

"Oh. I get it." Lana said. "Let me try. (clears throat) Hey Lola, nice (censored) day we're having isn't it?"

"Why Yes it is, Lana." Lola replied. "This (censored) day is particularly (censored) lovely."

"(censored) right you are, Lola."

Lola and Lana continue to use their new word over and over.

"You're right, Lola. My lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation."

"Mine too."

The next day, it was school. Lori dropped off the younger siblings to the elementary school. Lana and Lola remembered that new word they learned yesterday and decided to use it more. Lana and Lola went to their lockers and met up with some students from their class.

"Hey guys." Lana greeted. "Nice (censored) day we're having right?"

The students stared in shock.

"Did she just say?" Asked one student.

"Yes, she did." Said another student.

Lola greeted the school janitor. "Hey Mr. Janitor, how the (censored) are you?"

"Um, hi." He replied with shock. He left. "I thought this was a school, not a guttermouth convention."

At lunch, Lana and Lola were in line waiting to get their food. Lana read the menu.

"Ooh, today's lunch is a (censored) hamburger served with (censored) sauce and grilled to (censored) perfection."

The students went silent when they heard Lana using that word. Some of them were laughing. The lunch lady told two students, which were her kids, to cover their ears. The daughter covered her ears but the son was laughing so the lunch lady shoves carrots in his ears.

"And with a side of (censored) baked beans." Lana continued. "Sounds (censored) delicious, Lola."

"I (censored) agree." Lola replied.

Just then, Ms. Johnson walked by.

"Hi, Mrs. Johnson." Lola greeted. "How the (censored) are you?"

"Lola and Lana!" Mrs. Johnson scolded. "I'm sending you two to the principal's office!"

"Oooooh!" The students said.

"But what did we-" Lana started to say.

"You know very well what you did." Mrs. Johnson interrupted. "Now come on."

Lana and Lola are sent to the principal's office. Inside, Mrs. Johnson told Principal Huggins about the "new" word the twins were using.

"Well, What is it? What did they say?" Huggins asked.

"Well, they said..um..they said." Mrs. Johnson then whispered the word in Huggins ear.

"Huh?"

She whispered it again. The principal gasped.

"Lana and Lola! Front and center!" Mr. Huggins ordered. "Why I oughta make the two of you paint the school for using such language!"

"But Principal, we were only using our sentence enhancers." Lana stated.

"Yeah, it's fancy talk." Lola added.

"There isn't anything fancy about that word!" Huggins said.

"You mean (censored)?" Lana asked.

"Yes! That one! Now quit saying it! It's a bad word!"

"Bad word?!" The twins start wiping their tongues.

"Yes sirree! That's bad word number eleven." The principal explained. "In fact, there are thirteen bad words you should never use."

"Don't you mean they're only seven?" Mrs. Johnson asked.

"Not if you're a sailor."

"Wow, thirteen." Lana said surprised.

"That's a lot of (censored) bad words." Lola said.

"Ok girls, I want you to promise me you'll never use that word again." Mr. Huggins ordered.

"We promise."

After school, Lana and Lola walked outside to see Lori.

"Hi Lori." Lana greeted.

"Yeah, hi." Lori replied. "So your Principal called and told me you guys were using a swear word."

"Yep. We didn't know it was bad before." Lola said. "But now we do."

"Good." Lori said. "And if I catch you guys using that word again, I'm gonna have to tell Mom and the principal. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am." The twins replied.

At the Loud House, Lana and Lola are in their room, sitting at a table.

"I'm glad the principal told us that word we were using was a bad one." Lana said.

"Me too." Lola agreed. "Because classy sophisticates like us shouldn't stain our lips."

Lana pulled out a board game. "Yea, verily. Now let's play a nice wholesome game of Laundry chutes and Ladders."

"Oh boy! My favorite!" Lola cheered.

"Come on! Charles needs a new bowl!" Lana rolled the dice. She gets laundry chutes on both dice.

"Ooh, laundry chutes. Too bad Lana, you gotta ride the laundry chutes."

"Darn!" Lana moved her blue game piece to the laundry chute.

"My turn!" Lola rolled the dice and she got ladders on both dice. "Hooray! Ladders! Yay!" She moves her pink game piece up a ladder. "Up! Up! Up!"

"Come on! Ladders! Ladders! Ladders!" Lana begged as she rolled her dice. She got laundry chutes once again. She sighs. "Laundry chutes again."

"My turn!" Lola rolls the dice and gets ladders. "Ladders!"

"Ladders! Ladders! Ladders!" Lana shook the dice and threw them. Once again, she got laundry chutes. "Laundry chutes?"

Lola rolls the dice. "Ladders once again!" She moves up the ladder. "Well, this is your last chance, Lana. If you get laundry chutes again, you lose!"

Lana rolls the dice with frustration. "Ladders! Ladders! Ladders!!"

She throws the dice and they land on ladders. "Finally! Ladders!" The dice turn over to laundry chutes.

"Laundry chutes." Lola said.

"AH, (censored)!!" Lana yelled but then covered her mouth when she realized her mistake.

"Ooh! You said number eleven!" Lola taunted.

Lana tried to explain. "Wait! I didn't mean..I-I was trying to think of something else… some things just slip out. You gotta understand Lola!"

"Don't worry Lana. I understand." Lola assured. Moment of silence. "Lori!"

Lola ran to Lori's room. Lana chased after her.

"Lola! No!" Lana tackled her before she could open Lori's door. "Lola, please don't tell!"

"But you said (censored)!" Lola said but covered her mouth when she realized she made the same mistake as Lana.

"Aha! Now I'm gonna tell on you!"

Lana tried to opened Lori's door only to find out she wasn't in there.

"She's not here." Lana said.

"I'm gonna find her first!" Lola declared and ran off.

Lana ran off too. Lola checked the living room. Lana checked the kitchen. Lola checked in the backyard. Lana checked in the attic but only found Lucy in there.

"Oh, hi Lucy." Lana greeted. "Have you seen Lori?"

"Try the laundry room." Lucy said. "You can go down the laundry chute."

Lana snapped when she heard the word "laundry chute." "Why?! You don't trust me with a ladder?!"

Lucy stared. "Wait, what?"

"Uh, nothing." Lana said nervously and left.

Lana got to the laundry room and so did Lola. They wrestled each other down the stairs. Lori was by the washing machine getting her clothes out. She saw the twins fighting.

"Hey!" Lori yelled. The twins stopped. "What are you two fighting about this time?"

Lola and Lana get up and begin babbling to Lori. They are yelling and pointing at each other. Lori looks annoyed." She grabs their lips.

"Now I'm gonna let go of your lips." Lori informed. "And when I do, I want you to calmly tell me what you guys have to say, understand?"

"Mmm mmm."

Lori lets go of their lips.

"She said (censored)!" The twins said at the same time.

Lori gasps. "You two should be ashamed! I thought your principal made it clear to never use bad word number eleven or any of the thirteen bad words!"

"Wait a minute, Lori." Lola said. "I heard you use that word before."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Lori replied. "I'm gonna call him! Right after I put away my clothes."

Lori gathers her clothes and heads upstairs. Lana and Lola sadly walk upstairs.

"What's gonna happen to us?" Lola asked worried.

"We'll probably get forty spankings!" Lana panicked.

"Oh no!" Lola imagined herself with a sore butt from all the spankings.

"I'm sorry, Lola." Lana apologized. "The principal and Lori are right. There's no need for words like that."

"I'm sorry too, Lana." Lola apologized.

"Let's make a vow, Lola. From this day forth a foul word shall never pass our lips. We'll be good citizens. Just like good ol Lori and the rest of our family."

"Agreed."

The twins shake hands. The twins follow Lori to her room. Lori

"Alright, you two." Lori said. "Time for your punishment."

Lori walks to her room holding a laundry basket but she trips on one of Lynn's skates, which she couldn't see. The pile of laundry fall on the floor. Lori holds her knee in pain and makes the mistake the twins made.

"OW! My (censored) knee! What (censored) genius left their (censored) skate in the (censored) hallway?! Can't you see I have a (censored) foot here?!

Lori continues to curse as the twins count all the bad words she uses.

"Five, six, seven.." Lana counted.

Lori continues to swear.

"Nine." Lola counted.

Lori is still cussing and ends up saying all thirteen bad words.

"That's all thirteen, Lola!" Lana stated. "We're gonna tell Mom, Lori!"

"No. Don't tell Mom!" Lori begged.

Lana and Lola run downstairs. Lori follows them.

"Wait! Please don't tell Mom!" Lori begged. "I don't think her heart could take it!"

The siblings see their mom watering plants outside. They go outside.

"Hey mom!" Lana and Lola greeted. Lori followed.

"Hello kids." Rita greeted.

Lori, Lola, and Lana all explain the situation at the same time, while cursing as they do so. Rita stared at them in shock when they were finished.

"Oh dear!" She cried. "My poor old heart!"

She faints. The siblings go over to her with great concern.

"Oh mom! What have these foul mouthed heathens done?" Lori said worried. She glares at the twins. "You two should literally be ashamed of yourselves! Making our mom faint with your sailor talk!"

Rita wakes up and glares at them all. "You should all be ashamed! And if you're going to talk like sailors, then you're going to work like sailors!"

Soon, the three sisters are seen painting the house.

"Uh Lori, are you still planning on telling our principal about this?" Lana asked.

"No." Lori replied. "I think this is enough punishment for all of us."

"Agreed." Lola said.

Rita sees their progress. "I think you guys should earn some soda."

Rita is about to head back inside but trips over one of branch. "Ow! My (honk) knee!"

The siblings gasped in shock. "Mom!"

"What? It's just Mr. Grouse in his car." Rita said, pointing to the old man in his car.

He honks the horn again. "Nice job, Louds!"

The siblings and Rita laugh together.


	15. Chapter 15: Dunces & Dragons

"Hurry Clyde!" Lincoln said, running with Clyde. "It's almost time for the joust!"

"Right behind you, Lincoln!"

They stopped. They saw a medieval castle with the sign "Medieval Moments" on it. One top was a man blowing a horn. There was a speaker with knight's hat on it.

"Welcome to medieval moments." Said the announcer. "You're just twenty wizard's paces away from swords, sorcery, and bad hygiene."

A door opens up. Lincoln and Clyde walk towards the castle. A henchman is seen on the other side.

"Right this way." The henchmen said.

"I believe you meant to say rigteth this wayeth." Lincoln corrected. He giggled with Clyde.

The henchman was about to kill himself with the spear but stopped himself. "Someday but not today."

Inside the castle, Lincoln and Clyde are seated in the arena.

"How's that mutton Clyde?" Lincoln asked.

Clyde took a bite out of his mutton. "Me thinks it's mutton tastic."

The event was now starting. The queen looked at the king who was sleeping.

"Maurice, you're supposed to announce the jousting tournament!"

Maurice woke up and and spoke into his microphone. "Good evening, fair patrons of Medieval Moments!"

The crowd cheered.

"By royal decree, we ask that two audience members come forth and participate in this, um, royal joust."

Lincoln and Clyde raise their hands and shout, getting the king's attention.

"Alright." Said the king. "It appears the bushy haired kid and the white haired kid are our lucky contestants tonight. Hooray."

Lincoln and Clyde walk up to the joust excited.

"Can you believe this, Clyde?" Lincoln said. "To think we'll be watching the joust up this close."

A henchman handed them their outfits and weapons. "You're not watching the joust, you're in the joust."

Lincoln and Clyde were on horses.

"Clyde, do you know how to ride a horse?" Lincoln asked.

"Nope." Clyde replied.

The horses took the two boys in opposite directions.

"Mr. Horse, sir, you're gentle on beginners, right?" Lincoln asked.

The horse just charged towards the other horse. Clyde's horse charged too.

"Lincoln, help!"

"Take his head off!" Yelled someone from the crowd.

Clyde shielded himself.

"I don't suppose now would be a good time to ask for a bathroom break!" Lincoln yelled.

The two horses ran into each other, causing Clyde to fly off his horse and out of the arena.

"Clyde!"

Lincoln's horse threw him off and out of the arena. Clyde landed face first on the ground.

"Glad that's over." He said.

Suddenly, Lincoln landed on him. Lincoln and Clyde got up and saw a bunch of knights and horses coming.

"Look! Some employees from the restaurant can to help us!" Lincoln pointed out.

The boys were now surrounded.

One knight pointed his sword at them. "Arrest these traitors for committing the act of witchcraft by falling from the sky!"

The knights pointed their spears at the boys.

"Woah." Lincoln said. "They really go that extra mile for authenticity. Salutations fellow knights."

"Silence heathen!" Said a Knight. He used his sword and cut Lincoln's hat in half.

"Ah! I get the point."

Lincoln and Clyde get tossed in the dungeon.

"Nighty night, ladies!" Said the dungeon master. "You'll have many more in here!"

He left. Lincoln and Clyde looked at all the stuff in the dungeon. Most of them were skulls. "Gee Clyde, these props sure are convincing."

Just then, they heard the sound of bad clarinet music. It was coming from someone else who was in the dungeon. It was a jester who looked like Luna.

"Blast this confounded instrument!" Luan said angrily. "If I never play with ease, may my great grandma be cursed ten fold."

"Luna, What are you doing here?" Lincoln asked.

Luna looked around confused. "Dost thou talketh to me?"

Lincoln laughs. "Good one, Luna." (imitates her) Dost thou talketh to me?"

"Scoff not, young squire." Luna said. "Thou hast mistaken me for another. I'm Looney, the king's royal fool. Or at least I was until I royally messed up."

"Wow, what did you do?" Lincoln asked.

"I'll show you." Luna begins to sing a song. "I was the king's favorite fool. I made merry mirth and laughter. Then I told one bad joke and the king had a stroke. Now I hang from the olde rafter."

Clyde's stomach growls. "What does a guy have to do to get some mutton around here? I'm starving!"

"Don't hold thy breath." Luna advises. "We'll be lucky if we get fed again by the 12th century."

"They sure do take their role playing around here seriously." Lincoln told Clyde.

Suddenly, they hear an explosion.

"What's Clyde?" Clyde asked.

Luna sang another song. "The evil wizard's dragon is here. See the townsfolk scream in fear. See the townsfolk try to run. I can tell this won't be fun. The dragon will torch everything. Everything in the valley. Hospitals, schools, retirement homes, and even ye olde bowling alley."

During the song, a red dragon was outside destroying everything in sight while the people were running in fear.

"Not the bowling alley!" Yelled one guy. The bowling alley was now destroyed.

Lincoln started to panic. "Knights? Jesters? Dragons? Medieval bowling alleys? The 12th century?! Don't you see, Clyde? We really are in medieval times!"

"Oh no." Clyde said worried. "I think I left the water running at home."

Then the dungeon master came back. "The king wants a word with you two."

He was talking about Lincoln and Clyde.

"Yeah!" Clyde said happily and he and Lincoln left.

Lincoln looked back at the jester. "Wait. We don't leave without Looney."

"And why should I take her?" The dungeon master asked.

"Because-" Lincoln tried to come up with an excuse. "Um, Looney has thought of some brilliant songs for the king and he just has to hear them. Right, Looney?"

Looney nodded. "Absolutely."

Luna started to play but Lincoln stopped her. "Um Looney, Maybe you should wait for the king to hear that."

"Suit thineselves." Luna said. "Thou dost not knoweth what thou art missing."

And with that, the gang began to walk over to the king's castle. At the king's castle, the king, who looks like Lynn Sr, is crying.

"Oh, woe is me! Woe is me! What to do? What to do?"

The princess, who looked like Lola, walked over to her father.

"Father, what art thou going on about now?"

"Oh, just the same ol thing dear daughter." The king explained. He pointed to an evil looking place. "It's that wretched witch Lenamor. Her insidious dragon's destroyed half the kingdom. Soon, there'll be no citizens left. No one of my best knights have been able to defeat her."

The king was about to faint but his daughter grabbed him before he hit the ground.

"This always happens." Lola said looking at the viewers. She helped the king onto his throne.

Just then, a henchmen came by. "Your highness, the dungeon master has brought the prisoners you asked for."

"Well, don't just stand there." The king demanded. "Send them in!"

"Sure thing your highnessssssss!"

The king and princess look at each other blankly.

Lincoln, Looney, and Clyde entered.

"Hi Dad." Lincoln greeted.

"Dad? I'm not your dad." The king stated. "I'm the feared ruler of the kingdom and shall be addressed as such."

"Sorry."

"And why have you brought this fool back into my throne room?" The king asked, pointing at Looney.

"If your majesty may be so kind, I think I have a song that'll answer all your questions." Looney replied nervously.

The king hesitated for a bit. "Ohh, alright, alright. But this is your last chance, fool."

"Oh, thank you sir, thank you. You won't be disappointed." Looney began to sing her song. "Oh hear me king, for I must sing how you are the greatest at everything. Like letting a dragon burn down our city. A horrible sight that wasn't pretty. 'Twas all your fault and 'tis a pity. You are bad, you are to blame, now hang your kingly head in shame. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la!"

Looney shakes her butt as Lincoln and Clyde giggle. The king does not look pleased. The boys join Looney with her song.

"The king is bad, the king's to blame. He hangs his kingly head in shame. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la laaaaa!"

The three of them laugh together. The king is angry.

"Guards!" The king ordered. "Send these slanders to the guillotine."

The boys turned and saw a guillotine. One guy used it to cut a pineapple in half. Lincoln and Clyde were horrified.

"Wait, you don't understand." Lincoln tried to explain. "We're not from here."

"That's because your witches who were sent by Lenamor to destroy me." The king said.

"No. We're time travelers."

The king growled. Lincoln gulped.

"Help me out here, Clyde."

"Well, I'm not sure if there's anything I can add at this point." Clyde replied.

"Alright, I'm through playing around." The king said. "Guards!"

He gives them the signal for their beheading. The guards take the boys and Looney with them as they plead for mercy.

"Father, you must spare them." The Princess stated. "Hast thou forgotten about the prophecy?"

"What prophecy?" The king asked.

"The one right above your head." The Princess pointed to three large prophecies on the wall that were above the king's throne.

"How long has that been there?"

Lola explained. "The story tells of two brave knights who fall from the sky, and are sent by the king to rid the lamenting town of the evil dragon controlled by the evil witch. Daddy, don't you see? It's them. These strangers have come to rescue us, like in the prophecy."

Suddenly, the dragon burst through the wall.

"How dare you defile my house, demon!" The king yelled.

He gets blasted by the dragon's fire. The dragon grabbed the princess who screamed in fear.

"Princess Lola! I'm coming Lola!" The king charged toward the dragon. "Prepare to meet thy maker, foul beast!"

The king pointed his scepter at the dragon. The dragon just flicked him away.

Lincoln was about to get his punishment at the guillotine.

"Well, I guess this is it, Clyde." Lincoln said sadly.

"I guess so. I'm gonna miss you, Lincoln."

"I'll miss you too, buddy!"

Lincoln and Clyde started crying. The king was flying towards the guillotine screaming. This caused him to break it, saving the boys and Looney from getting beheaded. But the dragon escaped with his daughter.

"Daddy, help!"

"Lola!" The king cried. "Can no one stop this madness?"

The sun shines on Lincoln and Clyde. The king went over to them.

"Yow two. My apologies." He kisses their feet. "Most noble and valiant warriors."

"I guess this is what they call the royal treatment." Clyde said.

"I grant you safety on your perilous journey to the evil witch's castle to which no one has escaped alive."

"We're going on a perilous journey?" Lincoln questioned.

"Well, of course." The king said. "You're the chosen ones."

He notices something on the floor. "Huh? What's this? A lost piece of the prophecy? Hmmm.."

"Lemme guess, more praise for our heroic stature?" Lincoln asked.

The king shows them the piece. "Actually, it says I'm supposed to kick you outta here."

"Say no more, your majesty." Lincoln said. "Us manly knights are so manly, we kick ourselves out of places. Come on, Clyde."

Lincoln kicks himself out.

"Look out, trouble!" Clyde said, and kicked himself out too.

"Well, so much for their company." Looney said. She began to play her clarinet again but the king stopped her.

"On second thought, you better go with.

They could use the entertainment."

Have it your way." Looney said and walked off.

"Good luck, strange ones!" The king said as the three of them walked off to begin their journey.

Now Lincoln, Clyde, and Looney were walking down the road.

"I know we're a prophecy and all but I don't think we can stop that dragon with our bare hands." Lincoln said.

"Yeah, we need some gloves." Clyde said.

Luna pointed to a blacksmith shop. "Perhaps yonder blacksmith can provide some arms for your battle."

"At last, an honest man of the soil." Lincoln said. "Observe, as I effortlessly commingle with this brutish native."

Lincoln enters the shop. "Greetings Ironman, I am Sir Lincoln of Royal-"

The blacksmith grabbed Lincoln with his tongs.

"..Woods."

"I told you people before, I'll have the rent when I have it!" The blacksmith said angrily.

"We just wanted to borrow some armor." Lincoln said weakly.

"Well, why didn't you just say that?" The blacksmith said and dropped Lincoln. "Hmmm, I've got just the thing for you."

Clyde was given a helmet that looked exactly like his first one. "This is awesome." He puts it over his first helmet.

"Hey Lincoln, come out here!"

Lincoln walks out wearing tall metal legs and wearing a big helmet.

"Whoa, Lincoln, you look incredible."

"And now for the piece de resistance." The blacksmith got to work wielding a sword for Lincoln.

"Your sword, brave knight." The blacksmith presented the sword to Lincoln. "Hand forged from anodized dragon's skin. It is truly a weapon worthy of a knight of your stature."

Lincoln tried to lift it, but it was too heavy for him. "A little heavy, isn't it?"

Lincoln drops the sword and it lands in the blacksmith's chest. But he didn't seem to feel any pain. Instead, he laughed.

"That's gonna need some stitches." He said. "Let's see what else I've got."

The blacksmith searches through his trunk. "Unfortunately, all I've got in the way of light weaponry is this net."

He handed to Lincoln.

"Sounds good enough." Said the white haired knight.

Lincoln, Looney, and Clyde continue their journey.

"We doth have a long journey ahead of us." Looney mentioned.

"It's a good thing I brought us these delicious Burpin burgers for lunch." Lincoln said, pulling out a bag with burgers.

"Ooh!" Clyde said happily.

Meanwhile, Lenamor was watching our heroes through a crystal ball.

"This be the legendary prophecy?" Lenamor laughed evilly. Lola is tied up in rope. "Oh, that be-eth rich. Twould almost insult me were it not so funny."

"Lenamor, thou art cocky and overconfident with thyself." The crystal ball stated.

"Trusteth in me, Alison. I knoweth what I am doing. Come hither, boy."

The dragon came over to it's master. Lenamor handed it a paper. "Deliver my demands onto his majesty, King Loud."

The dragon went off with the message. Lenamor laughed evilly some, then coughs. Lincoln, Clyde, and Looney approach the bridge that's in front of Lenamor's tower. But a knight stops them.

"Halt, who goes there?" Said the knight in a deep male voice.

Looney gasps. "Do my eyes betray me? ''Tis the nefarious dark knight." Luna sings. "Oh dear knight, spare us please. Don't cut off our heads or boil our knees. Pray take these two and let me go free and I will give to thee some...cheese."

Looney hides behind a rock.

"Dark knight?" Lincoln and Clyde said in unison.

"I asketh once more." The dark knight ordered. "Before I rip thee limb from limb, reveal thyselves."

"I'm Lincoln and this is Clyde." Lincoln answered. "We've been sent to rescue Princess Lola from Lenamor."

"If thou wishes to get across, thou whilst have-"The knight opens the helmet to reveal self as Medieval Lynn. "-to get through me!"

Lincoln gasps. "Medieval Lynn! I know how to handle this with a little karate!"

Lynn charged at Lincoln with a battle cry and Lincoln charged at her with his battle cry. They bumped into each other. Lynn swung her flail at the white haired knight but he dodged it. Lincoln swung his foot and tripped Lynn onto her back. Lynn was confused by Lincoln's fighting style.

"By the power of Odin, this be a new fighting style my eyes have not yet seen."

Lincoln did a weird dance. "I am bad! Oh yeah! Whoo!"

"Doth thou tryeth to insult me? Thou willst drink from the fountain of shame!"

"Pssh, did you hear that Clyde?" Lincoln asked. "I told you she thinks like a girl."

The female knight attacks Lincoln, ripping off all his armor. Looney and Clyde watch behind a rock. Lincoln slams into the rock. His clothes are torn. Lincoln runs the back of his head.

"Man, Medieval Lynn is just as tough as modern Lynn." Lincoln admitted. "Can you handle my feet of fury?"

Lincoln charged at Lynn with his shoes on his hands. She jumped out of the way. Lincoln bounced off the rock and kicked Lynn, sending her into the other rock. Lincoln ran towards but she got up and pushed the boy against the rock.

"Wouldst thou like a little rub down?" Lynn said. She rubs Lincoln against the rock, causing dust.

Lynn coughs. With her distracted, Lincoln puts a blanket over both of them and does the deadly Dutch oven on her.

"My eyes!" She yelled and fell to the ground, weakened.

Lincoln was about to finish her.

"You have bested me, white haired knight." Lynn said weakly. "Strike quick and true, noble one."

"I don't understand a word you just said." Lincoln said.

Medieval Lynn has x's on her eyes.

"Uh, Medieval Lynn, you don't look so good. Lynn? Lynn?"

Lynn passed out. Then she was soon awake by a splash of water.

"It's working, Clyde." Lincoln said. "Do it again."

Clyde sprays more water at Lynn with his water bottle. Lynn gasps.

"Thou hath spared me, kind and noble knight." Lynn said. "And unto thee, I owe a debt of gratitude, for I will follow you on your quest to defeat Lenamor and learn a trifle of that karate."

"Yeah, karate!" Lincoln karate chops Looney's jester hat, slicing it in half. Looney even felt the pain.

"Oweth."

Meanwhile, at the king's castle, a henchman came up to the king with a scroll.

"Your majesty! Your majesty! A scroll has arrived for thee."

The king takes the scroll and reads it. "Thou must hand over thy village and thy throne or thy daughter shall be dipped into a cauldron of lava?! Lola!"

Lola is seen dangling over a pot of lava. She screams. Lincoln, Clyde, Lynn, and Looney hear her.

"That be the shriek of the fair princess." Looney stated, then started to sing. "Hark the princess, she screams from the tower. By the sound of the shrieks this is her final hour."

"Then time be of the essence." Lynn said. "Doth we all remember thy plan?"

The guys stutter.

"No." Clyde blurted. "Uhh, I mean yes. That's what I meant to say, heh. Yes."

"Then we must forge on." Lynn ordered, taking the lead.

The other three shake in fear but follow her. The four make their way to Lenamor's tower. Two guards are blocking the entrance.

"Make way heathens." Lynn commanded. "Dark Knight coming through."

The guards blocked her.

"State thy business, Dark Knight." One guard said.

Lynn explained. "These village idiots are conspirators against Master Lenamor and I needeth to know which form of torture thy master wishes upon these wretched fools. Do I have their limbs tied to horses and swiftly yanked apart? Rip! Or pluck each individual piece of hair one by one, taking away their every single last piece of hair wish!"

Lincoln screams.

The guards were convinced. "Very well, Dark Knight. Entrance be granted."

Lincoln is terrified.

"Halt! Make a wish!" A guard plucks off a piece of Lincoln's hair.

The gang head inside. Lincoln whines.

"Wow, goodsome thinking, Sir Lincoln." Lynn complimented. "Posing as a frightened wee babe in ye ol' diapers did make it most believable."

"Yeah, you think we fooled them?" Lincoln asked.

Suddenly, Lola screams.

"That's Lola. I must fulfill the prophecy while you untie Clyde and the royal doofus."

"That be Royal fool." Looney corrected.

"Hang on, Lola! We're coming to rescue you!" Lincoln yelled as he ran up the stairs with his friends. "(panting) We're coming. Almost there."

They were so exhausted from running up all those steps.

"So..tired."

Up on the tower, Lenamor was getting ready to boil the princess alive.

"Soon the king's village will be mine, mine, mine!"

Princess Lola screamed in fear. Lincoln and the rest finally arrived on top of the tower.

"Unhand her, you fiend!" Lincoln said out of breath.

"The prophecy is nigh!" Said Princess Lola.

"We're here to rescue you Lola. Whew! Can I get a glass of water?"

"Sparkling or regular?" Lenamor is about to offer Lincoln water but throws both bottles away. "Psycheth!

Lincoln gasps. "You truly are the nastiest witch in all of Royal Woodlands. Prepare to be vanquished!"

"Bring it oneth, knave."

Lincoln charges at Lenamor but she trips him. He falls on the floor.

"Ow." Lincoln groaned.

Lenamor uses her magic on the white haired child but he laughs.

"Ha! That tickles!" He laughed.

The others are rescuing Lola. Looney and Clyde push the boiling pot of lava out of the way and Lynn cuts the rope with a knife. Princess Lola falls on the ground.

"Thou shouldeth made a safer landing." Lola groaned.

"She's ok." Lynn said.

Lenamor is still attacking Lincoln. Suddenly, he gets zapped by the dragon. Lenamor thought that was her magic.

"Wow. Huh?" She notices the dragon. "Yes! Yes! Sicketh them boy!"

The dragon chases after them. Looney is trapped but gets an idea.

"Perhaps a soothing limerick will calm thee." Looney pulled out her clarinet and sang."There once was a dragon so handsome and smart, he let me go free for he had a big heart."

She formed her arms into the shape of a heart but only got blasted by the dragon.

"Everyone be-eth a critic."

Lynn goes to attack the dragon but he zaps her and throws her away. Clyde runs in fear.

"No! No! No!" The dragon zaps Clyde, sending him to land next to his best friend. The dragon came closer to the two boys. They hugged each other in fear. Then, Lincoln had an idea.

"Wait a minute." Lincoln grabbed his net. He leaped towards the dragon and captured it in the net.

"Wow, the boys back home will never believe this." Lincoln said.

"I'm right here and I don't believe it." Clyde stated.

But the dragon burned the net. Lincoln ran over to Clyde.

"No! No! No! No!" The boys yelled.

"Well, I guess this is it, Clyde." Lincoln said.

"Yeah." Said Clyde. "Hey, can we eat those Burpin burgers now?"

"Sure, buddy." Lincoln pulls out the Burpin burgers. The dragon takes one.

"Hey!"

The dragon eats it.

"Look Clyde, he's eating the burger!"

"No!" Clyde cried. "The horror! The horror!"

"No Clyde, it's a good thing." Lincoln said.

"It is?"

"Sure it is." Lincoln stated. "Just listen to him purr. He loves that Burpin burger."

Lenamor sees this. "Forsooth. What be-eth going on here? Destroy them! Do it now or so help me!"

"I have more burgers and I'd be happy to give you them." Lincoln said.

The dragon zaps Lenamor.

"Curses. You win." Lenamor said defeated.

Now everyone is at a celebration. Looney walks down the road and Lincoln and Clyde are riding with on horses.

"Make way. Thy king's heroes cometh through." Looney announced. She sings a song. "Hark! Ring the bell, ''tis all ended well. The dragon is vanquished, the princess returned, and only a few of us got badly burned."

Lynn, Princess Lola, and the king are on the king's castle. The king is grilling burgers. "Order up!"

He flips a burger and the dragon catches it and eats it.

"Hmm, I wonder if I could sell these, um, Burpin burgers." The king suggested. He laughs.

Looney plays her clarinet badly. The townspeople covered their ears in agony.

"Not that horrible noise!" Said one citizen.

"Make it stop!" Said another.

One guy grabbed a rock and threw it at Looney, knocking her down on her back. This causes the horses to freak out and launch Lincoln and Clyde into the air. They fall back down on the ground.

"Hey kid, are you ok?" Asked a female.

Lincoln opened his eyes and saw the queen and king standing in front of him.

"That was some fall you had." The queen said.

"Oh, I guess I shouldn't have agitated that horse." Lincoln said rubbing his head. "That was some dream, huh, Clyde? Clyde?"

"Try telling that to Looney." Clyde said.

He gets to reveal that Looney was squashed under him. Her clarinet was squashed into an accordion.

 **I hope you enjoyed this. Also, I'd like to give credit to DarthFlores for letting me use Lena Shroud as the evil witch and Geo Soul for the idea for Lena Shroud fics.**


	16. Chapter 16: Fools In April

**Happy late April Fools Day! I decided to make a parody of the Spongebob episode-Fools in April, so enjoy.**

It was that time of year again, April Fools Day, which meant no one was safe around that crazy prankster Luan Loud. Usually, Luan would go to the extreme but this year she decided to go easy on the pranks. In the living room, Charles was sleeping on the couch.

"Wake up, Charles." Luan said.

The dog woke up.

"We're moving today."

Charles barked in confusion.

"That's right. We're leaving home. We're gonna become peasants."

Luan puts on a peasant hat and beard. She takes Charles food.

"No more food. Sorry Charles, peasants only eat mashed up clam shells."

Luan puts salt on a plate of mashed up clam shells. Charles starts to cry.

"April Fools!" Luan announced, ripping off the costume. "There you go pal."

Luan gives Charles his food. She goes to the kitchen. "Phew, I'm thirsty."

She takes out a large pitcher of juice from the fridge.

"This is an extreme thirst." She said in a deep voice.

Soon, Luan had filled many cups with juice. They all had little umbrellas too.

"I'm exhausted. I sure can't wait to drink all these drinks. April Fools!" She looks at herself in a mirror. "To me."

She laughs and walks off past her sister, Lori.

"What's she so happy about?" Lori wondered. She walks past the calendar on the fridge but then comes back. "AH! April 1st! April Fools Day is Luan's favorite holiday!"

She pulls out her cellphone and dials the number of Gus Games n Grub. "Bossman, I can't come to work today. I caught something terrible."

"What did you catch?" Lori's boss asked.

"I literally caught sight of the calendar."

"Hold on Lori." The boss said. "Your boyfriend Bobby is here and he wants to honor you as girlfriend of the month."

Lori quickly dashes off to Gus's place. In the boss's office, Luan is there laughing with the boss. Lori arrives wearing a fancy outfit.

"I have arrived." She doesn't see Bobby. Just her boss and her sister Luan giggling. "What's so funny? Where's Bobby?"

"You just missed him." The boss said, trying to hold in his laughter.

"Yeah, but he told me to tell you-" Luan couldn't help but giggle.

"Tell me what?" Lori demanded.

"He told me to tell you.." Luan whispered onto Lori's ear. "April Fools."

Lori stared blankly. "Well, it's been nice working here, Bossman. Thanks for everything."

"Lori, wait." Luan called.

"Just send my last check to the P.O box, Bossman."

Luan stopped her. "Wait, Lori! It was just a joke! No more jokes on you today, I promise."

"You do?"

"Sure. There's lots of other willing participants. Right, Bossman?"

The boss sits on a whoopie cushion, causing him to blush. Luan laughs.

"Well, as long if it's not me." Lori said and left the office.

Luan decided to stay at Gus Games n Grub to play some April Fools jokes on people. One lady called her.

"Excuse me, do you know where the forks are?"

Luan smiled and pointed to the spoons on the cart. "They're right here, lady."

"But this is a spoon."

"April Fools!" Luan blurted.

The lady chuckled and left. Lori was not amused.

Next, Luan was at the cash register. A customer walked up to her. It was Lynn.

"Welcome to Gus Games n Grub." She greeted. "How may I help you?"

"Yeah, gimme a Jumbo pizza with a side of salad." The guy said.

"Hey, what's that over there?" Luan asked pointing to something.

When the guy turned around, Luan ducked and put up a cardboard waiter to take her position.

"Huh? I don't see anything." The guy turned to the cash register. "Hey, where's that other girl?"

Luan popped back up. "April Fools! I'm right here!"

The man laughed. "Hey, that was pretty good."

Luan laughed. Lori was in the kitchen getting food. She heard Luan's laughter and walked out.

"What are you doing behind the counter?!" She asked angrily.

Luan ran off. She got herself some soda from the drink dispenser. Maggie comes over.

"Excuse me, can you get me some root beer with a couple of ice cubes please?"

"Sure." Luan replied. "A couple of ice cubes coming up."

Luan got a cup and filled it with root beer but only put one ice cube in there.

"Here you go."

"Thanks." Maggie drank some. Luan giggled. Maggie looked at her. Luan remained silent. Maggie drank some more. Luan giggled again. Maggie looked at her again but Luan was still. Maggie finished her drink. Luan burst out laughing.

"April Fools!"

Maggie grabbed her by the shirt and held a fist in the air. "What did you do to my drink?!"

"I, i-"

"You what?!"

You asked for a couple of ice cubes and I only put in one." Luan explained laughing.

Maggie calmed down. "I guess that is pretty funny." She left.

Luan laughed so much. Lori, who was washing dishes in the kitchen, was trying to drown out the noise of Luan. Luan saw a guy wearing sandals.

"Hey, your shoe's untied." Luan said.

The guy looked down.

"April Fools! You're not wearing shoes!"

Luan laughed even harder. Lori put napkins in her ears to try to block out Luan's laughter but Luan laughed into a microphone so her voice was now louder than ever.

"APRIL FOOLS!"

Lori was fed up. "That's it! Luan and her stupid pranks! I'm gonna show her what a real prank is all about."

Later, Lori set up her prank. She put a whoopie cushion inside a rope circle and chuckles. She goes over to Luan.

"Hey sis. You forgot your whoopie cushion."

Luan saw it. "Oh. Thanks for reminding me."

Lori snickered as Luan went to get her cushion. Lori quickly ran to the rope she was going to cut.

"April fools!" She yelled and cut the rope. Luan's feet got caught in the rope and she got pulled off. Lori laughed. Luan flew around the restaurant. Into a bag of flour and into the walls. Lori was laughing hysterically. The people look surprised. Luan crashes into someone's big butt. Lori was cheerleading. Luan slammed into the ceiling and fell back down.

"I'll caught you Luan!" Lori snickered as she ran to her sister. She grabbed a garbage can and her sister fell in it. "Oops."

Lori shook her out. Luan was covered in trash.

"April fools! You dirty little twerp!" Lori laughed.

Luan was hurt. Emotionally and physically. She burst into tear and ran out crying.

"Luan! I was just kidding!" Lori said. She looked at the people. "Come on. You guys know I was kidding, right?"

"Aw man. Poor kid." Said one guy.

"That lady definitely has some issues to work out." Said one women, referring to work out.

"April fools jerk!" Said a little boy.

Everyone angrily left.

"Wait! Don't go!" Lori called.

"You stink!" A random guy yelled.

"Wait! It was a joke!" Lori looks around the place and sees the mess she created. Including the big guy who now has a hole in his bottom from the prank. Lori sighed. "Why is it whenever I'm having fun it's wrong? I didn't mean to make Luan cry. I guess this means I better go tell her I'm-(makes a face) huh? I guess this means I better go apologi-(throat acts haywire) -iii!This is gonna be tougher than I thought."

Soon, Lori arrives back home. She knocks on Luan's door. "Ahem, Hey Luan, come on out. I've got to tell something to tell you." Silence. "Luan?"

She saw Leni walking upstairs holding Mr. Coconuts.

"Hi Lori."

"Hey Leni, um, why are you holding Mr. Coconuts?"

"Hmm, I don't know."

"Okay?" Lori said. "But where's Luan?"

"She's in her room. She's impressed."

"With what?"

"I don't know. But I must've been pretty good to make her cry like that."

Lori got more worried. She tried to open Luan's door but it was locked. "Luan, let me in there."

Lori got her phone. "Luan, you better let me in there. I don't wanna have to do this."

Lori played a gushy romantic song from Bobby. Luan finally opened the door.

"What do you want?"

"Luan, I just wanna say that I'm sorrrrr-" Lori tried to say.

"What?"

"I'm trying to say that I'm (makes donkey sounds)"

"What?"

"I just wanna say that I'm, I'm-"

Lori tried to explain but her head literally exploded.

"There's got to be an easier way to do this." She said.

Soon, Lori came back with a bottle. She put a piece of paper in there and closed it with a cork. She gave it to Luan.

"Well, aren't you gonna open it?" Lori asked.

"I can't. I don't have a bottle opener." Luan said.

Lori growled but she got another idea. She gave Luan a can with string attached to it. Lori was holding another can with the same string attached. She went back to her room and whispered what she want to say.

"Luan, I'm- "She whispers. She puts the can to her ear expecting Luan to say something back to her. But she heard a noise. She looked out of her room and saw Lana using the string to floss her teeth. Lori got frustrated and threw the can. Lori walked up to the comedian.

"Luan, all I'm trying to say is that I am.." Lori grabs a pillow and uses it to muffle her voice. "Sorry. There."

"But I couldn't-" Luan tried to say but Lori shut the door.

"I don't care. I said it." Lori said walking off. "My conscious is clear."

Suddenly, an image of Leni pops up.

"Must've been pretty good to make her cry like that." Leni said.

Lori nervously walked off but another image appeared. It was the image of the little boy who called her a jerk. "April fools jerk!"

Lori ran but this time an image of Rita showed up. "You stink!"

"Mom?!" Lori couldn't take the guilt anymore. She ran to Luan's room. "Ok Luan, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I admit it! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! I like you! I love living with you! I like your lame jokes and your pranks! I also love Lincoln, Leni, and the rest of our family and friends! And, and-"

Luan opened her door. "Lori, is that true?"

"Yes Luan, it's all true!" Lori said.

"Even the part about the Lima beans and the car chase?"

"Wha? Yeah, whatever! But can promise me not to tell anyone that I said I liked your jokes?"

"Ok, I promise!" Luan said.

"Really?"

Luan opened her door more to reveal that the whole family including Clyde was in the room.

"April fools!" They all shouted.

Lori's eye twitched. "You're right! April fools! I just fooled you all!"

Lori ran off laughing all crazy.

"What would we do without Lori?" Luan questioned.

 **THE END**


	17. Chapter 17: My Pretty Pony

Ah, springtime in Royal Woods. Everyone in town has an innate sense of the seasonal change. Like Leni. Notice how she looks out the window and reacts. She knows that.

"It's spring!" Leni cheered.

Leni takes off her winter sweater and stores it her closet, safe for winter. Next, we cut to the front door of the house. Lana comes out and sniffs the air.

"I better call the doctor cause I've got spring fever!" Lana goes over to the plants and smells them. "Good morning flowers."

Mr. Grouse comes out.

"Hi Mr. Grouse. Isn't it a wonderful day?"

Mr. Grouse just grumbles.

"Did you say good morning to the flowers yet?" Lana asked.

Mr. Grouse bends down to greet them. "Good morning flowers."

The flowers hiss at him. He freaks out and runs back inside.

"Gosh. I didn't know Grouse had hay fever." Lana said. "I know. I'll do him a kindness and plant him some hypoallergenic flowers."

Lana soon got to work. She put on a gardener's hat and gloves and planted a flower in the ground. "You're on your way. I bet you're thirsty."

Lana turns around to get the watering can but when she turns back to the flower it has been half eaten.

"Huh?" She grabs another flower and plants it in. She gets the watering can to water it only to find out it has been half eaten again. Lana plants another flower into the ground.

"I'm not taking my eyes off you." Lana stares closely at the flower.

Three days later…

Lana is still staring at the flower. Her eyes get bloodshot so she pours some water on them to make them normal.

"Hi Lana." Leni greeted from inside the house.

Lana turns around and greets her. "Hi Leni." She turns back to her flower but it has been eaten again. "How does this keep happening?!"

Lana then sees a pony in front of her eating the flower.

"Hi." Lana greeted, stunned at the sight of the pony.

The pony neighs and gallops across the street.

"She's beautiful!" Lana imagines herself with long flowing hair riding on the pony. We go back to reality.

"What a magnificent pony." Lana said. "I shall tame her. Who knows what we can accomplish!"

Lana follows the pony to the woods. She spies on it behind a rock. The pony eats some flowers. Lana takes a notebook and starts writing.

"Because of her mysterious behavior I have decided to name her Mystery." Lana explained as she wrote. She stops. "Hmm. Now that I think about it she's also very graceful and majestic. Perhaps I should name her Grace, or Majesty, or Debby."

The pony neighs and eats some more flowers. Then she spots Lana behind the rock.

"She must have spotted my floral bookmark." Lana said, talking about her flower shaped bookmark.

The pony slowly approaches Lana.

"She's coming this way." Lana sticks her bookmark in front of the horse. "That's it, girl. Don't be afraid. I'm just a six year old girl is all."

The pony slowly takes a bite out of the bookmark. It finally eats it. Lana is happy. Next is a montage of Lana and the pony hanging out together. They dance. They ride each other. They play in the mud. The horse paints a picture of Lana. They play with stamps and lastly, they buy hats from the mallo. Later, it's nighttime. Lana puts Mystery in the backyard and gives her a blanket.

"Gosh Mystery, that was the greatest day of my life!" Lana said happily. "Do you think we'll be friends forever?"

Mystery falls asleep.

"I'll take that as a yes. Goodnight Mystery." Lana heads inside the pony.

The next day, Mr. Grouse came out to get his mail. Then he saw Mystery in front of him. "What the-"

"Hey Grouse, this is my pony." Lana said riding on Mystery. "She's my new friend."

Mystery turned around and bucked Mr. Grouse away. Lana and Mystery went back to the Loud House. Lana had also made a bike rack. She tied Mystery's rope to the rack.

"You wait out here until I'm done with my chores." Lana ordered. "See you later."

Lana went inside. Rusty and Liam were walking by and noticed the pony.

"Sweet doggies! The Louds have their own kiddie ride!" Liam said.

"Why don't you try it out?" Rusty suggested.

Liam went up to the pony looking for the coin slot. "I can't find the coin slot. Oh, here it is!"

Liam puts his coin in the "coin slot." Mystery neighs and bucks Liam far away, causing him to crash into a house across the street.

"Help! Kiddie ride on the loose!" Rusty panicked and ran away.

Lynn Sr. heard all the commotion and came out. "What's going on out here?" Sees the horse. "(gasps) A horse? When did we get a horse?!"

Lana came out.

"She's mine and that's a pony. I found her yesterday." Lana said nervously. "But she would make a great pet. Her name's Mystery."

Lynn Sr. stared. "You're a mystery Lana."

She laughs.

"Get rid of it."

She stops laughing. "Please Dad, let her stay. She won't hurt nobody no how."

"Nope. My mind is made up." Lynn Sr. said sternly and went back inside.

"I knew I should've named her Debby." Lana said sadly.

Inside, Lana is sadly cleaning under the couch. Lynn Sr. came by.

"Lana, thanks for finally getting rid of that pony."

"You're Welcome, Dad." Lana said sadly.

"Now if we can only get rid of spiders." Lynn Sr. said and left.

"Good one." Lana took off her fake sad eyes, revealing it was a disguise. "Ha!"

She goes over to her room and looks under her bed to find Mystery. "It worked, girl. Now I just gotta keep you under here until Leni is done building that stable I asked her to make."

Leni is seen outside preparing to make the stable. She has a hammer and there's a piece of wood glued to her forehead. We go back to Lana's room.

"Only an hour left." Lana stated and left.

Twelve seconds later..

Mystery wants to come out. Lana comes back with a burger.

"No Mystery, you can't come out yet!" Lana warned. "If the old man sees you, I might get grounded. Wait, I bet you're hungry. How about some lunch?"

Lana offers the pony a burger. She sniffs it, eats it and makes a weird neigh sound.

"Shh! You gotta keep quiet or-"

Suddenly, Lynn Sr. barged into the room. "Lana, what was that? Is that pony in here?"

"No Dad, I was just doing my impression of Mystery. Wee-snaw!"

Lynn Sr stares. "Well keep working on it. That was terrible."

He leaves.

"That was close." Lana said. "From now on no more hijinks."

In the kitchen, Lana was tying a trash bag. Mystery came down to the kitchen without Lana noticing. Mystery saw a bowl of salad and ate it. Then she left the kitchen. Lori came over, texting on her phone. She saw that her salad was gone.

"Lana, did you eat my salad?" Lori asked.

"No." Lana replied. "Did you check under the bowl?"

"Oh." Lori was about to look under. "Wait. Why would it be under the bowl? You ate my salad didn't you?"

"I swear, I didn't. They must have vanished. Lori, do you think this house is haunted? What if they come for me next? I gotta get outta here!"

Lana was about to run out of the kitchen but Lori stopped her.

"Lana, there's no ghost!" Lori confirmed.

"Oh."

"In case you've forgotten, you or anyone else are not allowed to touch my stuff. Cause if you do, I'll literally turn you into a human pretzel. This has been a house rule before any of you were born. Do ya understand?"

While Lori was talking, Lana saw Mystery behind the living room couch. She was licking Lucy's hair. Lana panicked.

"Yeah, Yeah. I here ya Lori. I'll be right back!" Lana quickly took Mystery and dragged her into the kitchen.

"What's that?" Lori questioned.

"Please don't tell Dad!" Lana begged as she hid her pony under the kitchen sink. "I've got it under control! Now then, you were saying?"

Lori stood there speechless for a moment. "Just don't touch my salad."

She left.

"You got it, Lori." Lana laughs. "Ghosts."

Just then, Mystery came out and ate Lana's hat.

"Mystery, you ate my hat!"

The pony burps out a half eaten wrench.

"You ate my wrench!"

Lana checked the fridge. "You ate everything in the fridge!"

She saw the half eaten stove. "You ate the stove!"

She saw Mystery slurping down El Diablo.

"Not El Diablo!!!" Lana cried.

The snake was heard hissing in Mystery's stomach. Soon, all the siblings except Lana were gathered in the living room complaining.

"Guys, we have a minor situation going on in the house." Lori explained.

"Why is my comic book half eaten?" Lincoln complained.

"My tiara has drool on it." Lola complained.

"Somebody chewed my guitar strings." Luna complained.

"Where's El Diablo?" Lynn asked.

Everyone looked at her.

"What? I'm just curious."

"People please, take it easy." Lori said. "Your stuff is no more important than my stuff."

Lynn Sr came over. "Lori, what's going on here?"

"Why don't you ask Cowgirl Lana and her faithful companion, Sir Eats a lot."

Lynn Sr. finds Lana in the kitchen. "Lana, what's the meaning of all these nicknames?"

He gasps when sees the pony. She was on the floor, looking sick. Lana was taking care of her.

"Mystery got a bellyache from eating too much food." Lana explained holding a glass of some liquid. "So I made her a bicarbonate of soda."

Suddenly, the pony belches out El Diablo. He clings onto Lana.

Lynn Sr. rubbed his eyes. "So my eyes are correct. You still have that pony after I told you to get rid of it. Well, I'm going to get rid of it once and for all."

"No Dad, please don't make me give up Mystery!" Lana begged sadly. "I know you think she's just a pony but she's more than that I tell you. She listens to me. She understands everything I say and I understand her. She's my best friend."

Lori sees this touching moment between Lana and her pony and starts crying. Then she saw a bowl of onions next to her. "Hey, who left this bowl of onions here?"

"Lana, your story has touched my heart." Lynn Sr said. "Believe or not, I know what it's like to give up a best friend."

"You do?" Lana questioned.

"I was five years old and my father gave me a goldfish." Lynn explained in sadness. "I loved that goldfish. Loved it like a brother. Me and that goldfish went everywhere together."

"What happened to the goldfish, Dad?"

"One day I was camping. I lost all my food. But I still had my goldfish and I was so hungry! I cooked it up and ate it! My best friend!" Lynn Sr sobbed.

Lori sobbed as well, but she saw a bowl of onions next to her again. "Wha-? Would you get outta here?!"

"The point is honey, sometimes you have to set things free even though it's hard." Lynn Sr explained. "Look at her. She misses the great outdoors. The wide open spaces. The rolling green pastures. This house is no place for a live pony."

Luna and Lola who were eating a sandwich, overheard the conversation and spit out their lunch.

"Alright Dad, I understand." Lana said sadly. She took her pony friend outside.

Lynn started to cry but then she noticed Lori placed the bowl of onions next to her.

"Hey!"

Lana was outside with Mystery. She took off her rein.

"Ok girl. You're free to go. I can't keep you anymore. I know it's hard for you to understand but Dad is right. You belong out in the wild."

Mystery left.

"Well, What are you waiting for?" Lana asked. "Can't you see I don't want you here anymore?"

Lana sobbed and Leni came with the piece of wood still glued to her head.

"Just get outta here ya stupid dumb animal!"

Leni left. Lana sobbed. "Well, she's gone and I'll never see her again."

Lynn Sr came out. "It's ok honey. You did the proper thing. She's free now and we have no right to separate that wild animal from it's natural habitat."

"Hey Dad!" Luan called. "Looks like Mystery had a fancy dinner! (laughs) Get it?" She shows some of Lynn Sr's ties have been eaten. Lynn Sr stares.

"GET THAT HORSE!!!"

Lana and her dad run after Mystery calling her name.

Meanwhile, Leni tries to go inside the mall but the wood on her head is preventing her from doing that.

The End


	18. Chapter 18: Life of Crime

"And now back to Citizen Crime Theatre."

In Flips Food n Fuel, a tv show is shown on Flip's TV. Everything is black and white like an old timey cartoon. An old lady is walking down the street and then a thief comes and snatched her purse. He ran off with it.

"Stop thief!" She shouted.

The police arrived. "Which way did he go?"

"He went that way!" The lady pointed in a direction.

The police officers charged after the criminal and carried him back to the police car. He is then thrown in jail.

"Curses! Foiled again." The thief said.

Flip, and Lana and Lola, who came to the gas station to get some snacks saw the whole thing on the TV.

"What a no good punk that guy was!" Flip ranted. "There ain't nothing worse than a thief. Thieves should be locked up forever. They should be forced to eat nothing but gruel!"

"But Mr. Flip, what about all the stuff you stole?" Lana pointed out.

"What do ya mean?"

"Like that ketchup dispenser." Lana pointed. "It's says Property of Royal Woods market."

"Oh, that's where I rent my ketchup from." Flip explained.

"Are you renting the dispenser too?" Lana asked.

"Well, no."

"Then you bought it."

"No."

"Then isn't that stealing?"

"Well, I, Uh-"

Lola held up a towel. "What about this towel from the Sizzling Spring Sauna?"

"Well-"

Lana holds out a public phone. "And this Royal Parks phone?"

"Well, it's-"

Lola holds up a hedge clipper. "And our mom's hedge clippers?"

"Well, they're-"

Lana holds out a white wig. "And Mr. Grouse's wig?"

"Well, he-"

Lana holds out hair curlers. "Even Mrs. Johnson's hair curlers?"

"That one was a gift!" Flip said and swiped it away from Lana. "Listen, all that stuff is uh..borrowed."

"Borrowed? That's a relief." Lana said. "I thought you took it without permission."

"Ah, permission spermission! You can borrow anything anytime as long as you get it back before it's missed. Everyone knows that, right?"

"Ok!" The twins replied.

"Alright girls, hugs!" He hugs them and shoved them out the door. "You put in a hard days work girls!"

"But we don't work here." Lola stated.

"See ya later!" When the twins were gone, Flip took out the hair curlers. "Oh that was a close one."

Later at Ketchum Park, Lana and Lola are walking through the park in a derpy fashion wondering what they're going to do.

"Hey, what do you wanna do today?" Lana asked.

"I don't know. What do you wanna do today?" Lola asked.

"I don't know. What do you wanna do today?"

"I don't know. What do you wanna do today?"

"I don't know. What do you wanna do today?"

Lola stopped when saw she saw a guy selling balloons. "I know what I wanna do today. I need some money."

Lola checked her pockets but found no money. "I don't have any money. Lana, I want a balloon really really badly. Really really badly."

"It's ok Lola." Lana said. "I think I've got money in the First National Lana Bank."

Lana checked her hat only to find a paper clip and her chewed up gum. "Uh oh. I'm broke too. Let's go borrow money from Dad."

"Wait. Instead of borrowing the money, why don't we just borrow the balloon?" Lola suggested.

"Yeah! Like Flip!"

"It's just borrowing, right?"

"Yeah! And borrowing is ok as long as we bring it back, right?

"Right."

While the balloon guy was attending to a customer, Lana took a balloon when he wasn't looking and ran off with it with Lola.

"This is great!" Lola said.

"We're gonna have so much fun!" Lana added. "First, we'll run with the balloon!"

"Then we'll go to the beach with the balloon!" Lola added.

"Yeah! Then we can take a bike ride with the balloon! Then we can go to the mall, and Gus place, and the woods, and the candy shop!"

"And to the beauty pageant, and the sky, and under my car!"

"And the roller rink!"

"And in our backyard!"

"And under a hill!"

"And on a roof!"

"And in a plane!"

"And with a pig!"

"We love borrowing!" The twins cheered.

Suddenly, the balloon popped.

"It popped!" Lana stated.

The twins stared in silence at the balloon pieces that were on the ground. Then they panicked.

"How are we gonna return it now Lana?" Lola asked.

"I've got the pieces!" Lana said, gathering up the pieces.

"I've got the air!" Lola said holding the air.

"Hurry! Put the pieces back on!" Lana put the pieces in the air but they just fell back on the ground.

"We popped the balloon!" Lana panicked. "We can't return it! We're thieves! We have to confess!"

"Confess?" Lola exclaimed. "Are you out of your mind? Do you have any idea what they do to people like us? We're not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or hijacking here! WE STOLE A BALLOON!!!!" Lola yelled so loudly that everyone in the park heard her. "And they're gonna lock us up forever!"

Lana covered Lola's mouth. "You're right. We just gotta keep our heads. Act normal."

The blonde twins begin talking gibberish and start acting like they have no brains. They attract a crowd.

"Look! Street performers!" One guy said.

The crowd cheered for them.

"It's not working!" Lana and Lola shouted and ran away.

They bumped into the balloon cart where the guy was giving away balloons.

"Hi there." The salesman greeted.

Lana and Lola ran away screaming.

"Hey, don't you want a free balloon?" He asked. "It's National Free Balloon Day."

The twins continued running.

"He's onto us!" Lola cried.

"It's not safe for Royal Woods anymore!" Lana said. "We gotta move fast and cover our tracks!"

"I'm on it Lana!" Lola literally covered their tracks with pink paint as they kept running for their lives.

Soon, the twins were on the outskirts of town. They took a last look at their city.

"Take a last Look, Lola." Lana said. "We can never go back."

"Goodbye Royal Woods!" Lola waved.

"We've only got ourselves and what we can carry on our backs." Lana stated. She had a hobo stick in her hand.

"Yep." Lola said, carrying her hobo stick. "But I wish I could've brought my princess car."

"We're criminals now." Lana said. "We're gonna have to travel by foot."

And so the young girls went on their way leaving their beloved town. They were now in the middle of nowhere sitting near a fire they used to warm themselves.

"I wanna go home." Lola whined.

"We can never go home, sis." Lana stated. "We're wanted women. We'll spend the rest of our lives running. But at least it's warm around the fire."

"Yeah, hopefully it'll last long."

Suddenly, a strong wind blows out the fire.

"Aw, come on!" Lola whined. "I'm scared Lana!"

"No more nice warm beds." Lana said sadly. "No more Burpin burgers! No more getting mail! No more Hops or Charles! No more Lincoln, or Leni, or Luna, or the rest of our family!"

Lola was crying.

"No more anything!"

"I want my princess car!" Lola whined.

Lana sniffed. "Well, it doesn't have to be all bad, right? At least we have each other."

"Yeah." Lola agreed.

"And all that running is good for you buns and thighs too, right?"

Cuts to Lynn posing and flexing her muscles. "Yeah. Buns and thighs."

Cuts back to the twins.

"And the bitter cold is bracing, isn't it?" Lola said.

"Yeah!" Lana agreed. "Maybe being a felon could be fun! We can go wild!"

"Yeah!" Lana said and rolled around in the dirt.

"And we can fly!" Lana jumped off a small cliff and landed with a thud. "Ok, we still can't do that..."

She gets back over to Lola. "But we don't have to follow orders."

"You got that right." Lola replied.

"And you get to talk tough too." Lana said and changed her tone into a manly one. "This town ain't big enough for the two of us."

"Let me try." Lola said. "HEY PUNK, you're messin with the wrong sista!"

"And the best thing about being a felon is we don't have to return anything we borrowed!"

"YEAH!" The twins yelled again.

"And we owe it all to you." Lola said.

"What are you talking about?" Lana asked. "Taking the balloon was your evil plan."

"Nah. I'm nothing but a lot of talk. You're the one with the sticky fingers."

"Aw Lola. You're the best bad influence ever."

"You too."

The twins hugged.

"I wish we had something to eat though." Lola said.

"Look What I've got!" Lana said happily holding out two chocolate bars.

"Rectangles?"

"Not just any rectangles. Candy bars! All we have to do is make them last for the rest of our lives!"

Lana handed Lola her candy bar.

"Thanks sis. I'll save this for later."

Lola buried her candy bar. Three seconds later, she changes her mind. "I think I'll eat it now."

Lola digs in the spot she buried her candy but found out it was missing. A couple of ants had marched away carrying her candy bar away. "Huh? Where's my candy bar? I know I buried it here."

"Lola?"

"Where'd it go? I'm gonna starve!"

Lola digs frantically like a dog. Lana gets buried in dirt. Then Lola appears under her.

"I can't find it! Where could it be?"

She looks up and sees Lana holding a candy bar. "Aha!"

"What?"

Lola gets up. "You stole my candy bar!"

"No I didn't." Lana replied.

"So that's how it is, huh? Once a thief, always a thief."

"You ate yours." Lana stated. "This is mine."

"You took my only food." Lana complained. "Now I'm gonna starve."

"Here Lola, just take half of mine." Lana offered.

"Yours? You mean mine."

"Do you want it or what?"

"I don't want it unless you admit you took it."

"This is my candy bar."

"You big dirty liar!" Lola critizied.

"I'm dirty, yes. But I'm not lying." Lana said.

"Liar."

"Well, if you're gonna be that way I'll eat it myself!" Lana said.

"You better not." Lola warned.

Lana took the wrapper off. Lola warned her to stop but Lana started to lick the chocolate bar and chew it in Lana's face, much to Lola's agony. She even put it between her ears and made a squeaky sound with it. She finally ate the whole thing.

"You're a crazy person!" Lola yelled. "I should have expected this after the way you stole that balloon!"

"Did I, Lola?" Lana wondered. "Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me to steal it?"

"THAT'S IT!" Lola yelled and stomped on the wood, causing the fire to light up again. She screamed and held her foot up in pain. "First the balloon, now my candy bar! You're out of control! I'm...I'm telling on you."

Lana gasps. "Not if I tell on you first!"

Lana runs off.

"I'll beat you there!" Lola ran after her. She caught up with her sister.

"You're gonna get in trouble!" Lana taunted.

"No, you are!" Lola replied.

The twins kept running. They soon reached a police station and ran inside. They came to a police officer behind a desk. They started talking at the same time and couldn't be understand clearly.

"What can I do for you girls?" The police officer asked.

"We stole a balloon!!" The twins confessed.

A female officer showed up. "What's the problem here?"

"Well, it appears these two stole a balloon." Said the male officer.

"What are you gonna do to us?" Lana whined.

The female officer whispered something to the male officer.

"Ok, follow me." Ordered the male officer.

The police officers lead the twins to a prison cell. He opened it and the girls went inside.

"If you can't do the time, don't do the crime." The male officer said.

Four seconds later.

"Ok, time's up." The male officer said and opened the door. "Now get out."

"But we stole a balloon." Lana whined.

"Yeah, on Free Balloon Day." The male officer said and he and the other officer laughed.

The twins were surprised and relieved to hear this. The officers then walk them out of the station.

"How about some lollipops for the road girls?" The male officer said handing them candy.

The girls happily took a lollipop.

"Let's vow never to borrow anything without permission again." Lana declared.

"You said it." Lola agreed.

They make a toast but Lola's lollipop has been eaten. Lola's the one who has eaten it.

"Alright, which one of you flatfoots stole my lollipop?"

Lana glared at her.

"Just kidding." Lola said.

The twins and the officers all laughed together.

The End


	19. Chapter 19: Club Lincoln

I'm back! Now I'm doing a parody of Club Spongebob. Enjoy!

Lincoln and Clyde are chillaxing in their new treehouse. Lincoln came up with the idea to make one for him and his friends to hang out. It was basically his own club. Lori came outside to go on a bike ride. She rode her bike past the tree. Lincoln and Clyde saw her.

"Wait wook! It's Wori!" Lincoln announced. He and Clyde made up a new way of communicating.

Lori heard this. "What?"

The boys laughed.

"Wori's woing to work!" Lincoln stated.

"Where does she work?" Clyde asked. "Wat Wus' Wames And Wub?"

The boys laughed more. Lori became annoyed. She walked up to the tree.

"What's that supposed to be? Some sort of stupid secret code?"

"We can't tell you cause you're not a member of the club." Lincoln said.

"Well what does it take to be a member?" Lori asked. "Besides being a twerp."

She laughs. "Twerp. As a requirement."

"Sorry Lori, but you couldn't get in even if you tried." Lincoln stated.

"Well, I'll have you know that I'm a member of twenty different exclusive clubs in town." Lori stated.

"What did she say?" Clyde asked.

"I don't know." Lincoln said. "Something about her phone."

Lori, you and your phone will definitely not fit in." Clyde said.

"Oh, what do you zeros know about fitting in? You should be literally begging me to join." Lori began to climb up the tree but Lincoln and Clyde told her she couldn't fit in. She made it to the top and made her way through their little window. There was barely any room in the house.

"Well this is stupid." Lori said. "There's no room up here."

"That's what we've been trying to tell you." Clyde explained.

"We've been stuck up here for three days." Lincoln said.

"We told you that you wouldn't fit in."

Lori frowned.

"Well now that you're here, we'll give you the new member initiation." Lincoln suggested. "Ready Clyde?"

"Ready."

The two boys began to sing. "Welcome to our club. Welcome to our club. Welcome Lori! Welcome Lori! Welcome Lori! Welcome Lori! Welcome Lori!"

Lori covered their mouths. "Shut your half wit pie holes!"

Lori crawled out the window and found a tree vine. She used it to climb down. "I will not now nor will I ever want to be a member of your stupid club!"

As Lori was going down, the tree bended down. She got to the bottom but the vine broke, sending the treehouse flying off into the sky. Lori screamed as they flew off into a forest. A couple saw the treehouse and mistaken it for a shooting star.

"Make a wish honey." Said the male guy.

They landed somewhere in the forest. Lincoln and Clyde got up and cheered.

"Whoo! That was awesome!" They both said in unison.

"Oh no! That didn't just happen!" Lori panicked. "Please tell me that didn't happen!"

"What happened?" Clyde asked Lincoln but he shrugged in response.

Lori ran in a circle panicking. "Where are we? We're lost! There's no way out!" She stopped running. "Stuck in the middle of nowhere with my brother and Clyde. Why do bad things happen to me? Why?!!"

"Cheer up Lori. It could be worse." Lincoln stated.

"Yeah, you could have no cellphone connection." Clyde mentioned.

Lori checked her phone but couldn't get a connection. "Well, this is the end."

"No it's not Lori." Lincoln said.

Clyde was building coffins. "It's not?"

"Come on guys, we're gonna be fine." Lincoln said trying to lighten the mood. "As long as we stick together. Remember we're a club."

Lincoln and Clyde did their victory cheer .

"And besides, we have this!" Lincoln pulled out some kind of toy.

"What's that?" Lori asked.

"The talking Ace Savvy magic Ace ball!" Clyde said. "Ask it something! Ask it something!"

"Magic Ace ball, will I ever get married?" Lincoln asked. He shook the ball.

"Maybe someday." It said in Ace Savvy's voice.

"You've literally gotta be kidding?" Lori complained. "That is just a stupid toy! How can that possibly help us?"

Lincoln gasped. "Lori, we must never question the wisdom of the magic Ace ball. The club always takes its advice before we do anything."

"The ball knows all." Clyde stated.

"Oh Magic Ace ball, what should we do to get out of the forest?" Lincoln asked and shook the ball.

"Nothing." It said.

"The shell has spoken." Clyde said.

"Nothing?" Lori questioned. "We can't just sit here and do nothing!"

That's exactly what Lincoln and Clyde did right now. Lori growled.

"I can't believe you two are gonna take advice from a toy." They still did nothing. Lori was annoyed. "Alright, I don't need your help. I am gonna find my own way back to sanity."

Lori went off in a direction. "But don't you two sad clowns come crying to me when your circus tent comes crashing down." Lori laughed. "Sad clowns."

Lori is then panicking as she runs through the forest. "What was that? I was already here! Which way do I go?! I'm lost!!" She trips over a rock. "Oh, I'm hopelessly lost! I'll never get out of here!!!"

Lori then saw a way out. She ran for it and came out of the darkness.

"I'm free! Take that Lincoln and Clyde! Yes!" She then saw the two boys still sitting there in the same spot doing nothing and realized she was back to where they ended up in the first place. Lori gave up. "Oh, there's no way outta here."

A few days later, Lincoln and Clyde were still doing nothing. A stick is thrown at Clyde but he remains still. Lori has built a little tent and campfire. She is also wearing a straw hat.

"How's it going at Club Dorky brains?" Lori taunted. "Boy, am I hungry. I wonder what's on the menu for Club Lori tonight."

Lori sees a bug and steps on it. She takes it off her shoe and puts it in a pan she is using to cook up her food with the fire. She goes over to the boys.

"Doesn't that smell good Lincoln?" Lori waved the "food" in his face. "You haven't eaten in days. What about you Clyde? A big boy's gotta eat. Well you can't have any. And do you know why Lincoln? Because your club president is a magic 8 ball. If you would've listened to me, you would've had food, shelter, and a roaring fire." She shakes her butt in Lincoln's face as a way of mocking him. "But instead you listened to a useless toy.

She went back to her fire. "That tells you nothing! As if the answers to all your questions will fall right out of the sky!" She laughs. "Fall right out of the sky!"

Just then, an airplane was seen in the sky. Inside was the pilot and another guy.

"Dude, we're falling right out of the sky!" Said the pilot. "We gotta drop the load!"

They drop the load. On the side of the plane read "Picnic Supply Inc." All the picnic supplies fall out from the back of the plane. They land in the forest where the boys are sitting. They land perfectly and it even includes a campfire. Lincoln and Clyde cheered.

"Praise the magic Ace ball!"

Lori saw the whole thing and was speechless. The bug wakes up and hits her in the face with a stick before hopping off. Lincoln and Clyde stuff their faces with food. Lori comes over.

"Hey bro, that sure is a lot of food you got there."

"It's a gift from Ace." Lincoln said.

"Everything sure looks delicious." Lori pointed out. "Oh tacos! My favorite! Hey Lincoln, you know I was j-just kidding around earlier a-and I'm still part of the club, r-right? A-and after all the club's gotta stick together and I-I-I mean-"

"Lori?"

"Yes?"

"Once a member, always a member." Lincoln said.

"To the club!" Lincoln and Clyde made a toast and did their weird club cheer.

Lori attempted to do it too. "Yeah, now if you'll excuse me-"

Lori went over to the food. "Oh boy. What should I eat first? The spaghetti. The turkey. The soup. The pizza."

"Why don't you ask the magic Ace ball Lori?"

"Yeah right. Right after I consult the magic undies."

Lori is about to dig in but Lincoln and Clyde move the table away from her.

"Lori, are you questioning the authority of the magic Ace ball?" Lincoln said. "The ball is one who gave us this banquet. This copyrighted ball is the quarterstone of our organization."

"Maybe she's not a brother." Clyde said.

"Hey, you guys have it all wrong." Lori said. "I love this piece of plastic." She takes it. "Um Magic Ace ball, should I have the spaghetti or the turkey?"

"Neither."

"Oh. Then how bout the soup?"

"I don't think so."

"Can I have anything to eat?"

"No."

"No?! Whatdya mean no? I'm starving here!"

"Here. Let me try." Clyde took the ball. "Magic Ace ball, could Lori have some off this meatball sub?"

"No.

"Could I have some of this meatball sub?"

"Yes."

"Alright! Sorry Lori."

Lori took the toy away from Clyde. "Give me that. Can I have something to eat?"

"No."

"Can I have something to eat?"

"No."

"Can I have something to eat?"

"No."

"Can't you say literally anything but no?"

"Try asking again."

"Can I have something to eat?"

"No."

The blonde was now fuming. She began to go crazy.

"Lori, are you ok?" Lincoln asked.

"Maybe we should ask the ball if she's ok." Clyde suggested.

Just then, someone's voice was heard. "Hello? Anyone there? Hello?"

A sword cut through the bushes. It is revealed the person was a ranger. He gasped when he saw the three kids in a filthy condition.

"Do you folks need help?" He asked.

"I'm saved!" Lori said happily. She ran up to the ranger. "Oh you don't know how happy I am to see you. I have been literally stranded out here with these two twerps and their magic Ace Savvy ball!"

"Magic Ace ball?" The ranger questioned before revealing he has one too. "You mean like this?"

"The Magic Ace Savvy ball! A club member!" Lincoln and Clyde said happily.

The ranger did the same cheer Lincoln and Cylde did. The boys joined him.

Lori was stunned. "Kill me."

"My conch told me to come save you guys." The ranger explained.

"Hooray for the magic conches!!" The three boys cheered.

"Alright Magic Ace ball, what do we do now?" The ranger asked before shaking it.

"Nothing."

"All hail the magic Ace ball!" The boys shouted.

Lori, who was desperate, had no choice but to join the boys. "All hail the magic Ace ball!"

Epilogue

It has been days since the Loud family has seen Lincoln and Lori. They were really worried now.

"Where could Lori and Lincoln be?" Rita wondered as she paced the living room. Her husband and the other kids were gathered on the couch. "I sent a ranger to go look for them."

"I hope nothing bad to them." Leni said worried.

Lynn Sr. comforted her. "I'm sure they're fine wherever they are. Let's hope they're somewhere safe."

Just then, they hear a helicopter outside. They all rush out to see on land near their house. Lori, Lincoln, and Clyde come out.

"They're here!" Rita cheered. "My babies!"

The kids and Lynn Sr. all ran to hug them.

"Where have you dudes been?" Luna asked. "And why do you so dirty?"

Lori sighed. "It's a long story."

The End


	20. Chapter 20: Ace Savvy & One Eyed Jack

**The Sponge House presents the first Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack chapter which are parodies of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy episodes. Hope you enjoy.**

Ace Savvy, decking out crime with the ability to call his entire deck of superfriends.

"By the power vested in me!" Ace Savvy said.

Ace Savvy with his trusty sidekick One Eyed Jack fights for all citizens in town against the forces of evil.

There was a villain stealing candy from a baby when suddenly…

"Oh no! The Raging Whirl Card!" The villain cried as he got trapped inside a tornado formed from cards controlled by Ace himself. The baby got his candy back.

Ace Savvy, the world's savviest crime fighter!

It's revealed that Lincoln and Clyde are watching another episode of Ace Savvy. They cheer with Lincoln dressed as Ace and Clyde dressed as One Eyed Jack.

"Come on Jack, there's evil afoot!" Lincoln roleplayed.

"Hoppin High Cards, Ace! I'm right behind you!" Clyde roleplayed.

They head out pretend to fly outside. They spy on Mr. Grouse who is sunbathing in his front yard.

"Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack spot their arch enemy, Reflecto! Up to no good." Lincoln stated.

Mr. Grouse sees them. "Loud."

"You know what this means." Lincoln said and got out two ring pops.

"Ring pops!" Clyde said.

They each took one.

"By the power vested in me!" Lincoln said.

"Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack unite!" Both boys said in unison. Clyde had already taken a bite out of his ring pop.

"Full deck! Assemble!" Lincoln called out.

Lincoln and Clyde tried to summon them but realized they didn't have that power.

"Ok, let's deal with him ourselves." Lincoln suggested.

They put a tent over Grouse. He notices.

"What the-"

"If Reflecto is cut off from sunlight, he becomes weak!" Lincoln sated.

"Look Ace Savvy! He's destroying the shield!" Clyde pointed out.

Mr. Grouse was angrily ripping up the tent.

Lincoln gasped. "Quick Jack! Back to our place!"

"Right Ace Savvy!"

"Loud!" Mr. Grouse runs after them as the boys head inside the Loud House. Mr. Grouse bangs on the door. "Loud! Open up!"

"Reflecto has found our secret lab!" Lincoln said.

"What would the real Ace Savvy do?" Clyde asked.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Grouse suggested.

"Elaborate you vile fiend!" Lincoln demanded.

"He and One Eyed Jack live in the retirement home at the other side of town." Mr. Grouse explained.

"Hmm. They must be working undercover."

"Yeah. Now please leave me alone." Mr. Grouse said and left.

"Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack reunite!" The boys said as they held their ring pops in the air. Clyde had eaten his now.

Lincoln and Clyde soon arrive at Sunset Canyon retirement home. They had no idea Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack were real and lived in a retirement home. This news surprised them. They went up to the front desk and saw Sue, the nurse.

Oh great. It's her. Lincoln thought.

Oh great. It's him. Sue thought

"Excuse me, I know Ace Savvy is working undercover on an important case but do you think we could see him?" Lincoln asked.

"Undercover?" Sue questioned. "Yeah, Well I'll see if they can take time off from their busy schedule to see you."

Sue lead the two boys to a room. They giggled as they followed her.

"There they are." Sue pointed out. "Right over there.

The two elderly heroes were sitting on a couch watching tv. The boys were surprised.

"Try not to surprise them." Sue said and left.

"Clyde, can you believe it?" Lincoln asked excitedly.

"Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack in the flesh!" Clyde replied excitedly.

Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack were watching their show. Lincoln and Clyde came out from behind the tv and went in front of it.

"Hey, who are those guys?" Jack asked.

"Are they here to fix the tv?" Ace wondered.

Lincoln and Clyde giggled.

"What do you want?" Jack asked.

"Are you Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack?" Lincoln asked.

"Well, we used to be but now we're retired." Jack explained.

Lincoln and Clyde gasped.

"But you can't retire. There's evil afoot." Lincoln stated.

Suddenly, Ace started panicking."Evil? Evil!" He clinged onto a pole.

Jack glared at Lincoln.

"All I said was there's evil afoot."

Ace began to panic more.

"Will you please stop saying that?" Jack said.

Ace clinged onto a drinking fountain panicking and it sprayed water on him. Sue suddenly showed up and grabbed the two eleven year old boys. She threw them out of the retirement home.

"Wow. Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack." Lincoln said amazed.

"It's too bad they're old." Clyde said.

"What do ya mean Clyde?" Lincoln said. "Old people are the greatest. They're full of wisdom and experience."

Cut to Pop Pop winking at us and giving us a thumbs up. We cut back to Lincoln and Clyde.

"The world needs Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack." Lincoln said. "Someone somewhere is in trouble. And I won't rest until Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack are out of retirement."

Fireworks are seen.

"Ooh. Pretty lights." Clyde said amazed.

Later inside the retirement home, Ace and Jack are having lunch in the cafeteria. They got were in line getting their food.

"To the the meatloaf!" Said Ace Savvy.

They went to get their meatloaf.

"To the broccoli!"

They went to get their broccoli.

"Make sure to give extra broccoli to my friend here." Ace Savvy told the cook. "He needs his vitamins."

"Here you go son." The cook joked as he gave Jack extra broccoli. Jack glared.

"To the table. Away!" Ace said and went off to get a table.

Jack followed. "Careful. Don't run."

Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack found a table to sit at. Lincoln entered the cafeteria.

"Hey Ace Savvy!"

"Here comes the tv repairman." Ace said.

Lincoln went to their table.

"What do you want from us?" Jack asked.

"Hold on. Just let me look at ya."

"Stay alert, Jack. He's up to something." Ace ordered.

"Do you remember the time the food supply in Poor Woods city was running low?" Lincoln asked. "So you invented a ray gun that made things grow six times their size to shoot at the supermarket. But then the evil Man Marauder swoops down and takes the gun away and shoots all the vegetables."

Lincoln imitated the villain and pretended to shoot veggies with a ray gun.

"And he uses his powerful boots to cause a crack to open up on the ground."

Lincoln leaps at a table where an elderly man is eating and stomps on the table. The elderly man glared at him.

"What's your point kid?" Jack asked.

"You guys are the greatest heroes of all time." Lincoln commented. "And I think you should come out of retirement."

"Listen up you villains! I wanna eat my meatloaf!" Ace demanded. "If you don't get outta here, then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife!"

Suddenly, Sue showed up. "What is going on in here?"

"You May kiss the bride!"

Lincoln is tossed out of the retirement home once again. He rolls all the way back to his house. Clyde is there waiting for him.

"Did you reunite our heroes?" He asked.

"No, but I'm married." Lincoln replied.

Later at the retirement home, Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack were sitting outside in their rocking chairs.

"Up, up, and away!" Ace Savvy said as he and Jack pretended to fly. "Up, up, and away!""

Lincoln shows up wearing his girl costume he wore when he was trying to join his sisters in "Take your daughter to work" day. He had a plan to get the heroes out of retirement.

"Oh my. This purse is so big and heavy." He said in a female voice.

Clyde showed up dressed as a robber. "Hold it right there ma'am. I'll be taking that." He snatches the purse from Lincoln.

"Oh help! Help!" Lincoln cried.

"It's working." Clyde noted.

One Eyed Jack came over to Lincoln.

"Why, are you here to rescue little ol me?"

"Pipe down!" Jack yelled, blowing off Lincoln's wig. "You could wake Ace and he's ornery when his nap is disturbed."

Ace Savvy is seen sleeping with his eyes open.

"Ever alert, Ace Savvy has trained himself to sleep with his eyes open." Lincoln stated.

"Confound it, get away from him!" Jack yelled.

"Stop shouting! I'm nappin!" Ace snapped, waking up from his nap.

"It's not me ya old coot!"

Other elderly people are seen outside.

"Yes."

"That's me."

"I'm over here."

Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack start arguing. Lincoln tries to get their attention.

"Um, excuse me. Ace Savvy?"

"What do you want?" He asked.

"This better be good." Jack said.

"This'll cheer you up." Lincoln said. "We're almost done painting your invisible convertible."

Clyde is shown painting the convertible with black paint, making it more visible.

Jack got frustrated. "It's supposed to be invisible! That's it! We gotta end our life of leisure! It's time to come out of retirement! There's evil afoot!"

"Evil!!" Ace panicked. "Where is it?"

"There it is!" Jack said pointing at Lincoln and Clyde.

"You know what this means." Jack said.

He got out a case which opened up. Inside, there was a Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack ring.

"Ring pops." Ace said.

"Oh brother." Jack put a ring on Ace.

The two elderly heroes now had rings. They tried to put them together but they missed a few times. Finally, they connected the rings together. But something was missing.

"Say the oath!" Jack commanded.

"Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack unite!" Ace said in his young voice. "Throw your jacks at them!"

"Yeah!" Lincoln and Clyde said excitedly.

One Eyed Jack threw his toy jacks at them but they had no effect on the boys.

"Dang it! It's not working Ace Savvy!" Jack said.

"We must should try something else." Ace Savvy suggested.

"Dog paddle away!" Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack began their next attack. They dog paddles around Lincoln and Clyde.

"It's the raging whirl card!" Clyde said.

The two young boys got swept away in the tornado formed from Ace Savvy's cards. They were actually enjoying it.

"Those fiends! They're actually enjoying it!" Ace said.

"Do it again! Do it again!" Lincoln and Clyde cheered after the tornado stopped.

"Now what, Ace Savvy? We need help!" Jack suggested.

"Full deck unite!" The two heroes used their summoning powers. Inside of the original Full deck, they summoned the elderly people. The elderly folks in the retirement home saw their signals. All the elderly people eventually made it outside.

"Hmm. The Full Deck seem to have lost some of their luster." Jack noticed.

"FULL DECK! ATTACK!" Ace ordered.

"Pinch me. I must be dreaming." Lincoln said.

The elderly folks started to surround the two eleven year olds. They picked them up.

"Mission accomplished Clyde!"

"Yeah. We did it!"

Lincoln and Clyde were tossed away by the seniors.

"I did it!" Ace cheered. "I feel five years younger! Oh, it's good to be back."

"We did it ya old coot!" Jack said.

The two heroes shook hands.

"Who are you?" Ace Savvy asked.

One Eyed Jack gave him an annoyed look.

Back at the Loud House, Lincoln and Clyde were now in the living room watching a new Ace Savvy series.

"The new adventures of Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack!" The narrator announced. "We join our heroes locked in a battle of wits!"

Ace and Jack are seen playing a game of checkers. Ace makes his move. He moves the black piece.

POW!

Jack makes his move. He moves a red piece.

CLACK!

Ace moves another black piece.

KING ME!

Suddenly, Ace Savvy got a call on his phone. He answers.

"Hello?"

Gibberish is heard.

"Hello? Hello?"

HANG UP!

"My phone is still broken." Ace stares. "Remind me to get it fixed."

He sits back at the table.

SIT!

"Remind you of what?" Jack asked.

"Remind me of what?" Ace repeated.

"Will our heroes ever get their phone fixed?" The narrator wondered. "Tune in next week and find out."

"Wow! That was even better than the old show." Lincoln commented.

"It's all thanks to you." Clyde replied.

Lincoln winks at the viewers and gives them a thumbs up.

WINK!

The End


	21. Chapter 21: Loud Borg

**This chapter is a parody of the Spongebob episode- Krab Borg. Enjoy!**

It's nighttime at the Loud House. Lincoln is in the living room watching a movie on TV.

"We now return to tonight's Creepy Time Theaters presentation of Night of the Robot." The announcer said. On the tv, a realistic man is getting chased by a claymation robot.

"Hurry Charles, the scary robot movie is on." Lincoln called.

Charles came and barked at Lincoln.

"What do ya mean I shouldn't watch this? Scary movies don't always freak me out."

Cut to Lincoln in his bed. He is now terrified from watching the movie.

"What is Mom is a robot?" He wondered. "What if Pop Pop is a robot? What if Charles is a robot? Charles, psst, Charles."

He pokes the dog to wake him up. Charles wakes up.

"Charles, if you were a robot, you'd tell me right?"

Charles gave him a deadpanned look and barked at him.

"Ah, I've got nothing to worry about." Lincoln assured. "And now to get a good night's sleep."

As Lincoln goes to sleep, he instantly dreams about himself getting chased by the robot from the movie. The next morning, Lincoln wakes up looking a bit tired. He slowly walks out of his room. He sees something. "Robot! Oh my gosh!"

He sees a robot near Luna and Luan's room but in reality it is really Luna's speakers. Lincoln laughs nervously. In Lisa and Lily's room, Lisa is playing with her chemistry set.

"How about a little music to go with my experiments." Lisa suggested. She turns on a radio.

"And now for the number one song in Royal Woods, Electric Shock." The radio man announced. Techno music starts to play.

"Hey, that's pretty catchy." Lisa said. She sang with the beat of the music, sounding like a robot. "Yeah, that's not bad. I love this sciencey people's music."

Lincoln is in the bathroom brushing his teeth. Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. Lincoln spits out toothpaste and lets out a squeal. He grabs the toothpaste bottle and slowly opens the door. He blindly squirts toothpaste in a state of panic.

"Take that robot!"

He looks up to see a furious Lori. Her face is covered in toothpaste. Lincoln smiles nervously.

"Lincoln, what is wrong with you?!" Lori yelled.

"I-I'm sorry Lori. I'm not really feeling myself today. I'm a little bit jumpy. I keep thinking robots are gonna take over the world. Probably on account of this movie I watched last night where robots take over the world. I even asked Charles if he was a robot. Pretty funny huh?"

"Hilarious." Lori said sarcastically. "Just let me use the bathroom."

Lincoln goes outside to get the mail. The mailman walks by.

"Here's your mail sir." He said.

"Thanks." Lincoln said taking it. "Say, you're not a robot, are you?"

"No. I'm not."

"Well, keep your eyes peeled." Lincoln said suspiciously. "They're everywhere."

Lincoln goes back inside as the mailman shrugs and walks off. Lincoln walks upstairs. He then hears Lisa.

"I feel completely recharged." She said.

"Lisa?" Lincoln wondered. He peeked through her door.

"Come on buddy, play it again." Lisa begged talking to her radio. "Please. For me."

"That was strange." Lincoln said. "Lisa was talking to her radio and she said she feels recharged. If I didn't know better, I'd say she was..a robot. Nah."

Lisa was talking to someone on her cellphone. "Yes, hello. I was wondering if you could play that song again."

On the other line, the guy from the radio station was on his cellphone talking to the four year old. "Which one?"

"The one that goes beep boop boop bop boop boop beep." Lisa replied.

"No, you're thinking of beep boop boop bop boop boop bop." The guy said.

Lisa keep making robot noises as she was talking to the radio guy. Lincoln was listening. He was freaked out by this.

"Oh my gosh! Why was Lisa making all those beeping sounds?" He wondered. "Could it be that she's..a robot? Nah."

He peeked through Lisa's room again and was surprised at what he saw next. Lisa was doing some strange robot dance. The white haired boy ran right into his eldest sister's room. He clinged onto her. "Oh Lori! It's terrible! Lisa! Talking to radio! Beeping sounds! Strange dancing! Robot!"

Lori was more annoyed that Lincoln was in her room. "That's great Lincoln. Now get out of my room!"

She throws him out and closes the door. Lincoln suddenly appears back in Lori's room. (He went through a vent)

"I'm serious Lori." Lincoln explained. "Lisa is a robot! And I can prove it too!"

Lori was confused as to how Lincoln got back in her room. "How did you-"

"Let's see. In the movie, the robots didn't have a sense of humor. They couldn't laugh. Hey Lisa!"

Lisa comes over. "What is it elder brother?"

"Lori just told me a hilarious joke and thought you might like to hear it."

"Is it true Lori?" Lisa asked. "Is it hilarious?"

"Uh..sure."

"Well, let's hear it." Lisa said.

"Ok, here it goes!" Lincoln turned to Lori. "Um, how did it go Lori?"

"Uh, Well, let's see..how Do turtles call each other?" Lori said.

"How?" Lisa asked.

"On their shell phones!" Lori jokes. She laughed. "Get it? Shell phones? Cause they're..turtles."

"Lori, leave the bad jokes to Luan." Lisa advised and walked away.

Lincoln gasps. "Not even a chuckle. See Lori? She didn't laugh because she couldn't laugh because she's a robot!"

"There's a logical explanation why she didn't laugh Lincoln." Lori said. "She's obviously heard it before. The only reason you think Lisa's a robot was because you watched that stupid movie. Now why don't you-"

"Hey Lisa!" Lincoln called again.

"What? What is it Lincoln?" Lisa said a bit irritated.

"Bobby never gave Lori a gift for her birthday. Isn't that sad?"

"I guess that is rather sad." Lisa said. "But Lori forgot to give Bobby a birthday present as well."

Lisa left.

"Just like the robot in the movie." Lincoln realized. "He couldn't cry either!"

"Lincoln, this is getting ridiculous!" Lori said. "I'll have you know Bobby never forgets to give me a gift because he loves me."

"That's the final test Lori. The love test. Robots can't love. Hey Lisa!"

"What is it Lincoln?!"

"Lori wanted you to know that she loves you!" Lincoln blurted out.

Lisa stares. "I'm aware of that Lori." She leaves.

Lincoln gulps.

In Lisa's room, Lisa is still listening to her techno music but her radio dies.

"Dang it! My radio died!" She checks the batteries. "Hmm, these batteries still have a little juice in them. I know, I'll use them for a science experiment."

She puts the batteries in her pockets. A timer is heard.

"Ah, my hot dog is ready." Lisa said. She is using a mini stove and pot filled with boiling water to cook her food. She grabs a pair of tongs. "I can already taste it. Come to mama."

She uses the tongs to take the wiener. "Gotcha! And what good is a hot dog with the bun and ketchup."

She puts the hot dog in a bun and prepares to add ketchup.

"Oh Lisa!" Lincoln called.

The sudden outburst caused Lisa to accidentally squirt ketchup over her glasses, blinding her.

"Ahh! My glasses! I can't see!"

"Lisa!" Lincoln called again.

Lori covered his mouth. "Will you literally be quiet? Now what did the robots in the movie look like?"

"Well, they had piercing red eyes, metal pinchers for hands, and they ran on batteries." Lincoln explained.

"Ok, now tell me, does Lisa look anything like that?" Lori asked.

On cue, Lisa came out of her room blindly walking around. She still had ketchup on her glasses, she was also had the tongs and batteries in her pockets. "Must find bathroom!"

She walked right past her siblings. They screamed in terror as Lisa went into the bathroom.

"I'll evacuate our siblings! You call the navy!" Lori ordered.

Lincoln went to the family phone. "Hello operator, give me the navy!"

"Hello. You've reached the navy's automated phone service." Someone said through the phone.

"Lori! The robots are running the navy!" Lincoln announced.

"Not the navy!"

The other siblings, except for Lisa, hear this.

"What's going on dudes?" Luna asked.

"Guys, robots are taking over the world!" Lori stated. "Trust me. Lincoln and I witnessed this. They've already got to Lisa. I think it's best if you all hid in the basement."

The siblings were gullible enough to believe this. They all panicked and ran into the basement. Lori and Lincoln were now in Lori's room.

"What do we do now?" Lori asked.

"I don't know." Lincoln said. He sees a dollar on the floor. "Hey, a dollar."

"Lincoln."

"Sorry."

They hear Lisa coming out of the bathroom. She cleaned up her glasses.

"Ah, that's better." She walked back into her room making robot sounds.

"We need to find out what that robot did with the real Lisa." Lori said. "But how?"

"Well, in the movie, the robot teams up with a buddy." Lincoln explained. "And they get the poop on the robot."

"They poop on the robot?" Lori questioned.

"Yeah, you know, they get the straight poop, ask him questions, get information."

"I never thought I'd say this, but Lincoln, let's get that poop!"

Lori pulls out a book titled "How to Torture." She and her brother get to work on getting all the things they need to confront the "robot." Lisa is in her room reading a book. Lincoln and Lori suddenly barge.

"Oh Greetings Guys." Lisa said. "What can I do for you?"

They lock the door.

"Why'd you lock the door?" She asked.

They walk towards Lisa.

"Why do you have that rope?"

They come closer.

"Who's watching Lily?!"

The two siblings grab the genius and tie her up.

"Lincoln, Lori, what's the meaning of this?" Lisa asked. "Unite me this instant!"

"Shut up!" Lori said and slapped Lisa.

"Sweet Einstein! What the heck is going on?"

Lori slaps her again. "I said shut up you bucket of bolts!"

"I can't take it!" Lincoln runs out. He starts whimpering. Lori follows him.

"Lincoln, are you ok?"

"Oh Lori, seeing you slap Lisa like that is just too horrible to watch!"

"No. That's not Lisa. That's robot Lisa!"

"Oh yeah."

Lisa struggles to get free.

"And the only way to deal with these robot types is to find out what they know." Lori stated.

"Right." Lincoln goes up to Lisa and slapped her.

"Lincoln, you have to ask her a question first." Lori explained.

"Oh yeah. What color is my underwear?" Lincoln asked and slapped Lisa.

"Lincoln, let me handle this."

Lori shines a light at Lisa. "Where's Lisa?"

"What are you talking about?" Lisa asked confused. "I'm Lisa."

Lori slaps her. "We can literally do this all night if you want. Where's Lisa?"

"I'm Lisa!"

"Where's Lisa?" Lincoln asked.

"I'm Lisa!"

"Where's Lisa?" Lori asked.

"I am Lisa! I am! I am! I am! I am!"

"This is one stubborn robot." Lincoln said.

Lisa snapped. "WHAT?! You think I'm a robot?!!"

"We don't think. We know." Lori confirmed.

"That's the silliest thing I've ever heard. I am Lisa Loud!"

"She's not cracking." Lori told Lincoln. "We'll never get it outta her this way."

"I've got an idea." Lincoln said. "Keep an eye on her Lori. Don't fall for any of her robot tricks."

Lincoln finds something in Lisa's drawers. He gets out a phone charger. "If robot Lisa won't tell us where Lisa is, maybe one of her little robot friends will."

"Uh, Lincoln, that's a charger."

"Yeah, but I saw Lisa talking to her radio before. She called it her "little buddy."

"Oh really? Put it on the table Lincoln."

"You're going to interrogate my charger?" Lisa asked. "You're crazy."

"We just wanna see what your little buddy knows." Lori said as she took out a baseball bat.

"No! Wait!" Lisa begged. "What are you gonna do to my charger? That costed me money!"

"Where's Lisa?" Lori asked the charger.

It said nothing.

"Not talking huh?" Lori smashed it with the bat.

"NO! That costed me $10.95!" Lisa shouted.

"I guess it didn't know anything." Lincoln said.

"Go get the piggy bank." Lori ordered.

Lincoln got Lisa's piggy bank.

"No! Not my piggy bank!" Lisa begged. "That costed $17.50!"

Lincoln gets out a tablet.

"62.60!"

Lori smashes it. Lincoln gets out a printer.

"F-Well, that one was a gift."

Lori smashes it.

"NOOOO!!!"

Lincoln gets out Lisa's chemistry set. "Well this is the last robot Lori."

"No! Not my chemistry set!" Lisa said. "I got it when I was a baby! My first present!"

Lisa starts crying. Lincoln and Lori see this.

"I thought you said robots couldn't cry." Lori mentioned.

"I also said they couldn't love." Lincoln pointed out.

"I loved it like a sister!" Lisa cried.

Lincoln smiles nervously. "Well, at least she's not laughing."

"Oh, the laughs we used to share!"

"Um Lincoln, how did that movie of yours end?" Lori asked.

"The movie? Oh yeah! The ending was great. Turns out there were no robots after all. It was just their imagination…" Lincoln laughs sheepishly. "Hey, it's time to feed Charles."

Lincoln runs out, leaving Lori alone with Lisa. Lori looks at Lisa nervously and begins to sweep up the mess she made. Lisa glared at her. Cut to outside of the Loud House.

"OH LORI!!!!"

 **The End**


	22. Chapter 22: The Great Dog Race

Parody of the Spongebob episode: Rock Bottom.

Lincoln and half his sisters, Luna, Luan, Lana, Lisa, and Lynn all had a fun time at Dairyland. Now they were waiting for a bus to come take them back home.

"Another fun-tastic day at Dairyland." Lincoln said. He was holding an udder shaped balloon.

"You said it brah." Luna said.

"Yeah, I love this a-MOO-sement park." Luan jokes.

Then the bus arrived. The siblings went inside the bus. Lincoln managed to get his giant balloon inside. The bus driver told Lincoln he needed to pay.

"Let me get my wallet." Lincoln said. He turned around to get out his wallet from his back pocket but he accidentally hit the driver with the balloon. Basically every time Lincoln turned the bus driver would get hit with the balloon.

"Wait. Let me check this pocket." Lincoln checks his other pocket.

Whack!

"No."

Whack!

"Do any of you have any change?" Lincoln asked his sisters.

"How much do you need?" Lynn asked.

"How much is it?" Lincoln asked the driver.

"50 cents."

Whack!

"50 cents." Lincoln told Lynn.

"Nope." Lynn said.

Whack!

"Let me check my other pocket." Lincoln said.

Now the bus driver was getting annoyed.

"Forget it." He said.

Whack!

"What did you say?"

"Just take your seat!"

"Thanks mister."

"Yeah, whatev-"

Whack!

Lincoln went to sit next to his sisters near the back of the bus. The bus drove off.

"Show is what you got at Dairyland." Lana said.

Lincoln pulled out an udder flashlight. "Here's my udder flashlight. It's supposed to glow in the dark."

"Wow." Lana said.

"What did you guys get?"

"I got gloves for my udder action figure." Lana said taking out her udder toy. She put a tiny glove on it.

"Cool." Lincoln said.

"I got this cowbell." Luan said showing her prize.

"I got this cow tail from the mascot." Lynn said showing her prize.

"How did you get that?" Lana asked.

"Let's Just day that mascot had what was coming to her."

As the siblings continue to chat, Lana notices a sign that said: You are now leaving Royal Woods.

"Hey Linc?"

"Yeah?"

"Where's leaving Royal Woods?"

"Where did you see that?"

"We just passed the sign. You are now in Leaving Royal Woods."

"What?" Lincoln said. His sisters heard this too.

Lincoln looked out the window.

"What's wrong Lincoln?" Lana asked.

Lincoln saw a sign that said Royal Woods city limits. Lincoln realized they weren't in Royal Woods.

"Guys, I think we're on the wrong-"

Suddenly, the bus went down a road that lead underground. The siblings were flung back against the bus.

"Bus!"

Lincoln struggled to get to the front of the bus. As he tried, his pants and underwear came off. His pants were flung back towards Lisa. She avoided his pants but got hit in the face with his underwear. The bus finally came to a stop when it reached the ground. The siblings flew to the front. The bus driver got smacked against the front window with the udder balloon. The kids got kicked off the bus.

"But sir, we need to get back home to Royal Woods." Lincoln begged.

The bus driver gave Lincoln his balloon. "Oh well."

"Where are we?" Luan asked.

Lincoln saw a sign that read- "Royal Bottom." The words were inverted.

The kids saw a bus station.

"It sure is weird around here." Lincoln said. "Kinda different."

"Even the dirt and rocks look different." Luna said. She picked up a weird looking rock.

"Luna, I think that's dog poop." Lisa observed.

Luna freaked out and threw it away.

Luan was scared. "Guys, I don't like it here. It's dark and scary. I don't wanna be here. I wanna go home."

"Yeah. And look, I can't even tell the bathrooms apart." Lynn said pointing to the restrooms that had two doors with question marks on them. One question mark was upside down.

"That's an easy one Lynn. Just wait for someone to come out and then you'll know." Lincoln assured.

Someone came out of the first door but they couldn't tell if the person was male or female. They didn't even look human. More like a troll.

"Um, maybe we should wait for one more." Lincoln said.

One troll looking person came out of the second door. More troll looking people came out of the first door. Their genders couldn't be identified.

"I still can't read the signs." Lynn said.

"I wanna go home!" Luan cried.

"Uh ok. You guys can wait for a bus. Call me if it comes." Lincoln said. "I'm gonna go look for a bus schedule."

"I'll come with you Lincoln." Lana said.

"I'll assist you in case you get lost." Lisa said.

"I'll come to protect y'all." Lynn said.

"Ok dudes. Me and Luan will stay here." Luna stated.

Lincoln, Lisa, Lynn, and Lana went off to find a bus schedule.

"It sure is weird around here." Lincoln said nervously.

"Hey guys, the bus is here!" Luan said. She and Luna were already on a bus. They were driving away from the others.

Lincoln, Lisa, Lynn, and Lana chased after the bus which went up the road they came from. They tried to go up too but they kept falling back down. They gave up.

"How can these buses go up a 90 degree angle anyway?" Lisa questioned.

"Come on. Let's go wait for the next one." Lincoln suggested.

They go wait for the next bus.

"Ugh, where is the dang bus?" Lana said. "I think I forgot to feed Hops at home."

Lana saw a gopher cuddling her leg. "Aw, you're cute. Guys, check out this gopher.

The others gathered around to see it.

"Gophers are fascinating." Lisa said.

"He's got Luan's teeth." Lincoln commented as he petted it.

"Ha Ha. Good one." Lynn said.

As the kids were admiring the gopher, they failed to notice the bus was here until it drove off. The kids groaned. They continued to wait. It was getting windy so they had to hand onto their udder hats. Then the wind picked up Lincoln's balloon and blew it away.

"My balloon!" Lincoln and his sisters chased after the balloon but ended up missing the bus again. They ran back to the bus stop.

"Wait!" Lincoln yelled. "Hold on! Stop that bus!"

"Grr! Not again!" Lynn said frustrated and threw her hat on the ground.

They noticed a another troll looking creature.

"Um, excuse me sir, can you help us?" Lincoln asked.

The guy made a raspberry sound.

"Uh Yeah, I-"

The troll guy ran after the balloon.

"No! No! Not the balloon! We need to know when the next bus comes." Lincoln said but the person was gone now.

The next bus came. The kids tried to reach it but it left. They went back to waiting at the bus stop.

"Well there goes another one." Lisa said bummed out. "We should be more diligent. We don't leave this spot no matter what! Agreed?"

"Agreed." Said the others.

Soon Lynn was hungry. "Getting hungry. Dairy candy dispenser. Good thing we went to Dairyland." She took out her udder candy dispenser and squirted udder styled candy into her mouth. She chewed on them but spit them back out. "Eww. Udder flavored."

Then she saw something. "Hey. What's that?" The kids saw noticed too. It was a vending machine. "Vending machine. Mmm. I could go for a protein bar right now."

"No Lynn, we're not leaving this spot no matter what." Lana reminded her.

Lynn's stomach growled louder. "I'll only be gone for a second guys."

"But I thought you didn't have any money." Lincoln said.

"I didn't before. But I found some quarters on the ground here."

Lynn went to the vending machine and watched for the bus. She saw the vending machine selections. "Hey guys, they've got Burpin Burger snack bars."

The others rushed to the vending machine as they were happy to hear this. Just as they went to the other side, a bus came and left.

"No!" Lincoln cried.

They ran back to the bus stop. Lynn's stomach growled again. They went back but stopped to check for another bus. As Lynn was about to pay for snacks, another bus came and drove off.

"Wait!" Lincoln said. The kids ran back.

"Wait a minute. Duh! I'll pay for the snacks while you guys wait here." Lynn suggested.

"Good idea." Lincoln said.

Lynn readied herself. She quickly ran to the vending machine and pressed all the buttons. She waited for her snacks but they were taking a while to fall down.

"Come on! Come on!"

The snack fell to the bottom. Lynn went to grab it but the bus came. Lynn ran towards the bus but it left. Lynn grew frustrated. Then she noticed her siblings weren't there.

"Huh?"

The siblings came back.

"Hey, where did you go? You guys were supposed to wait for the bus!"

"Sorry, we had the restroom." Lincoln said.

"Even though we still couldn't identity them." Lana added.

"Ok. Just wait here." Lynn went back to get her protein bar. As she went to grab it, the bus slowly drove forward. She resisted and the bus went backwards. Whenever she tried to reach for the bar, the bus would go forward a little. She touched the bar and heard the engine revving up. She decided to forget about her snack and make a run for it. But the bus left. The siblings were still there. Then a person came and took Lynn's protein bar.

"Hey! That was mine!" Lynn yelled as she ran to the other side of the street.

Three buses quickly went by.

"Those buses didn't even stop for us!" Lincoln said.

Lynn ran back and shook the bus stop sign in anger. "Gosh Dang it!!"

"Guys, we gotta get to the bottom of this." Lisa advised. "This is preposterous. We've missed too many buses. We should head down to the bus station and ask for a bus ride back to Royal Woods."

The Louds head inside the bus station. They go to the line.

"We're first in line and nobody is gonna tell us otherwise." Lincoln said.

Then they saw a huge ugly person staring down at them.

"Ok, second. We're second in line."

The second person in line hisses at them.

"Third is good."

The third person glared at them.

"Fourth, not bad."

Soon, the kids had walked all the way to the back of the line.

"329. We're 329th in line and nobody forget it!"

The guy standing next to them put out a sign that said "329" and had an arrow pointed at them. Then he made a raspberry.

"Well, at least the line's moving." Lana said.

The line moved up but one guy quickly cut in front of them. This caused Lynn to fume. She was about to attack the guy but her siblings held her back. Time passed by and the siblings doze off in line.

"Next. (raspberry) Next!" Said the manager.

The siblings woke up.

"Guys, we're next!" Lincoln said. The siblings went up to the information desk.

"When is the next bus to Royal Woods?" Lincoln asked.

"What? (raspberry)"

"The bus schedule. The next bus."

"I can't (raspberry) understand (raspberry) your accent." The guy at the desk said.

"The next bus (raspberry) to Royal (raspberry) Woods. (raspberry)".

"Oh. (raspberry) Why didn't you say so? (raspberry) Next bus leaves in (raspberry) five seconds."

The bus outside had already left.

"Ooh. Tough luck kids. (raspberry) That's the last one til morning." (raspberry)

The guy left.

"Oh no (raspberry) you don't!" (raspberry)

The guy put out a closed sign. "Goodnight." (raspberry)

"Hold it! I'm not through here! (raspberry) Do you hear me? (raspberry) I demand you come back and give us a bus back to Royal Woods! Until then we are not leaving this spot!" (3 raspberries)

It becomes dark. The kids grew nervous.

"Ok, like I said, we'll be right here when you get back." Lincoln said nervously. ""At this spot. In the dark."

"Wait. I have my Udderlight." Lisa said and pulled out her udder shaped flashlight she got at Dairyland. She turned it on. "Ah, that's better."

Then it started to flicker and then it died.

"This isn't your average everyday darkness." Lana said with fear. "This is...advanced darkness. Hey, maybe if we close our eyes it won't seem so dark."

They all close their eyes. Then they hear a raspberry sound.

"Who's there?" Lincoln asked.

They quickly walked out of the bus station.

"Well I guess that spot will be there tomorrow." Lynn said nervously.

"Yeah, I concur. I think we better just keep walking." Lisa said nervously.

(Raspberry)

"Running. Better start running. Running." Lana said nervously as they all started running.

(Raspberry)

"Sprinting! Yes! We just gotta keep sprinting!" Lincoln yelled as the siblings all sprinted off.

They all ran into the road that went up. They were all in a daze from the impact.

"Sitting. Sitting. Bleeding." Lincoln said dazedly.

Then the kids heard footsteps approaching them.

"Hey, who's there?" Lincoln asked scared.

The footsteps came closer.

"Ok. That's enough." Lisa said scared.

"Don't come any closer." Lana said scared.

"I'm warning you. I know karate!" Lynn yelled scared.

The person came closer.

"AHHH!!" The siblings screamed.

Then they realized it was the troll looking guy who chased after Lincoln's balloon earlier. He had caught it.

(raspberry)

"Oh. It's only you." Lincoln said.

The guy tied the balloon around Lincoln's hand.

"Well that solves my balloon problem but we've got a bigger problem." Lincoln explained. "We're kinda stuck here. We need to catch a bus to get home."

As Lincoln was talking, the guy was blowing up his balloon to make it bigger.

"Oh you don't understand a word I'm saying, do you? Balloon (raspberry) have (raspberry) enough (raspberry) air. (raspberry) Thanks."

Lincoln started to float away. His sisters grabbed onto him. Luckily, the balloon was strong enough to carry all of them. Lincoln realized they were floating.

"Hey, I get it. Balloon travel."

"Thank (raspberry) you!" The kids thanked.

"You're welcome." The guy said.

The kids were surprised he didn't do a raspberry. Soon, they were out of Royal Bottom and were back in Royal Woods. They landed next to their house.

"Ah, home at last." Lincoln said. His balloon popped.

Just then, they saw a bus passing by with Luan and Luna on it. They stuck their heads out the window.

"Don't worry dudes, we're coming back for you!" Luna said.

 **The End**


	23. Chapter 23: Royal Bottom

Parody of the Spongebob episode: Rock Bottom.

Lincoln and half his sisters, Luna, Luan, Lana, Lisa, and Lynn all had a fun time at Dairyland. Now they were waiting for a bus to come take them back home.

"Another fun-tastic day at Dairyland." Lincoln said. He was holding an udder shaped balloon.

"You said it brah." Luna said.

"Yeah, I love this a-MOO-sement park." Luan jokes.

Then the bus arrived. The siblings went inside the bus. Lincoln managed to get his giant balloon inside. The bus driver told Lincoln he needed to pay.

"Let me get my wallet." Lincoln said. He turned around to get out his wallet from his back pocket but he accidentally hit the driver with the balloon. Basically every time Lincoln turned the bus driver would get hit with the balloon.

"Wait. Let me check this pocket." Lincoln checks his other pocket.

Whack!

"No."

Whack!

"Do any of you have any change?" Lincoln asked his sisters.

"How much do you need?" Lynn asked.

"How much is it?" Lincoln asked the driver.

"50 cents."

Whack!

"50 cents." Lincoln told Lynn.

"Nope." Lynn said.

Whack!

"Let me check my other pocket." Lincoln said.

Now the bus driver was getting annoyed.

"Forget it." He said.

Whack!

"What did you say?"

"Just take your seat!"

"Thanks mister."

"Yeah, whatev-"

Whack!

Lincoln went to sit next to his sisters near the back of the bus. The bus drove off.

"Show is what you got at Dairyland." Lana said.

Lincoln pulled out an udder flashlight. "Here's my udder flashlight. It's supposed to glow in the dark."

"Wow." Lana said.

"What did you guys get?"

"I got gloves for my udder action figure." Lana said taking out her udder toy. She put a tiny glove on it.

"Cool." Lincoln said.

"I got this cowbell." Luan said showing her prize.

"I got this cow tail from the mascot." Lynn said showing her prize.

"How did you get that?" Lana asked.

"Let's Just day that mascot had what was coming to her."

As the siblings continue to chat, Lana notices a sign that said: You are now leaving Royal Woods.

"Hey Linc?"

"Yeah?"

"Where's leaving Royal Woods?"

"Where did you see that?"

"We just passed the sign. You are now in Leaving Royal Woods."

"What?" Lincoln said. His sisters heard this too.

Lincoln looked out the window.

"What's wrong Lincoln?" Lana asked.

Lincoln saw a sign that said Royal Woods city limits. Lincoln realized they weren't in Royal Woods.

"Guys, I think we're on the wrong-"

Suddenly, the bus went down a road that lead underground. The siblings were flung back against the bus.

"Bus!"

Lincoln struggled to get to the front of the bus. As he tried, his pants and underwear came off. His pants were flung back towards Lisa. She avoided his pants but got hit in the face with his underwear. The bus finally came to a stop when it reached the ground. The siblings flew to the front. The bus driver got smacked against the front window with the udder balloon. The kids got kicked off the bus.

"But sir, we need to get back home to Royal Woods." Lincoln begged.

The bus driver gave Lincoln his balloon. "Oh well."

"Where are we?" Luan asked.

Lincoln saw a sign that read- "Royal Bottom." The words were inverted.

The kids saw a bus station.

"It sure is weird around here." Lincoln said. "Kinda different."

"Even the dirt and rocks look different." Luna said. She picked up a weird looking rock.

"Luna, I think that's dog poop." Lisa observed.

Luna freaked out and threw it away.

Luan was scared. "Guys, I don't like it here. It's dark and scary. I don't wanna be here. I wanna go home."

"Yeah. And look, I can't even tell the bathrooms apart." Lynn said pointing to the restrooms that had two doors with question marks on them. One question mark was upside down.

"That's an easy one Lynn. Just wait for someone to come out and then you'll know." Lincoln assured.

Someone came out of the first door but they couldn't tell if the person was male or female. They didn't even look human. More like a troll.

"Um, maybe we should wait for one more." Lincoln said.

One troll looking person came out of the second door. More troll looking people came out of the first door. Their genders couldn't be identified.

"I still can't read the signs." Lynn said.

"I wanna go home!" Luan cried.

"Uh ok. You guys can wait for a bus. Call me if it comes." Lincoln said. "I'm gonna go look for a bus schedule."

"I'll come with you Lincoln." Lana said.

"I'll assist you in case you get lost." Lisa said.

"I'll come to protect y'all." Lynn said.

"Ok dudes. Me and Luan will stay here." Luna stated.

Lincoln, Lisa, Lynn, and Lana went off to find a bus schedule.

"It sure is weird around here." Lincoln said nervously.

"Hey guys, the bus is here!" Luan said. She and Luna were already on a bus. They were driving away from the others.

Lincoln, Lisa, Lynn, and Lana chased after the bus which went up the road they came from. They tried to go up too but they kept falling back down. They gave up.

"How can these buses go up a 90 degree angle anyway?" Lisa questioned.

"Come on. Let's go wait for the next one." Lincoln suggested.

They go wait for the next bus.

"Ugh, where is the dang bus?" Lana said. "I think I forgot to feed Hops at home."

Lana saw a gopher cuddling her leg. "Aw, you're cute. Guys, check out this gopher.

The others gathered around to see it.

"Gophers are fascinating." Lisa said.

"He's got Luan's teeth." Lincoln commented as he petted it.

"Ha Ha. Good one." Lynn said.

As the kids were admiring the gopher, they failed to notice the bus was here until it drove off. The kids groaned. They continued to wait. It was getting windy so they had to hand onto their udder hats. Then the wind picked up Lincoln's balloon and blew it away.

"My balloon!" Lincoln and his sisters chased after the balloon but ended up missing the bus again. They ran back to the bus stop.

"Wait!" Lincoln yelled. "Hold on! Stop that bus!"

"Grr! Not again!" Lynn said frustrated and threw her hat on the ground.

They noticed a another troll looking creature.

"Um, excuse me sir, can you help us?" Lincoln asked.

The guy made a raspberry sound.

"Uh Yeah, I-"

The troll guy ran after the balloon.

"No! No! Not the balloon! We need to know when the next bus comes." Lincoln said but the person was gone now.

The next bus came. The kids tried to reach it but it left. They went back to waiting at the bus stop.

"Well there goes another one." Lisa said bummed out. "We should be more diligent. We don't leave this spot no matter what! Agreed?"

"Agreed." Said the others.

Soon Lynn was hungry. "Getting hungry. Dairy candy dispenser. Good thing we went to Dairyland." She took out her udder candy dispenser and squirted udder styled candy into her mouth. She chewed on them but spit them back out. "Eww. Udder flavored."

Then she saw something. "Hey. What's that?" The kids saw noticed too. It was a vending machine. "Vending machine. Mmm. I could go for a protein bar right now."

"No Lynn, we're not leaving this spot no matter what." Lana reminded her.

Lynn's stomach growled louder. "I'll only be gone for a second guys."

"But I thought you didn't have any money." Lincoln said.

"I didn't before. But I found some quarters on the ground here."

Lynn went to the vending machine and watched for the bus. She saw the vending machine selections. "Hey guys, they've got Burpin Burger snack bars."

The others rushed to the vending machine as they were happy to hear this. Just as they went to the other side, a bus came and left.

"No!" Lincoln cried.

They ran back to the bus stop. Lynn's stomach growled again. They went back but stopped to check for another bus. As Lynn was about to pay for snacks, another bus came and drove off.

"Wait!" Lincoln said. The kids ran back.

"Wait a minute. Duh! I'll pay for the snacks while you guys wait here." Lynn suggested.

"Good idea." Lincoln said.

Lynn readied herself. She quickly ran to the vending machine and pressed all the buttons. She waited for her snacks but they were taking a while to fall down.

"Come on! Come on!"

The snack fell to the bottom. Lynn went to grab it but the bus came. Lynn ran towards the bus but it left. Lynn grew frustrated. Then she noticed her siblings weren't there.

"Huh?"

The siblings came back.

"Hey, where did you go? You guys were supposed to wait for the bus!"

"Sorry, we had the restroom." Lincoln said.

"Even though we still couldn't identity them." Lana added.

"Ok. Just wait here." Lynn went back to get her protein bar. As she went to grab it, the bus slowly drove forward. She resisted and the bus went backwards. Whenever she tried to reach for the bar, the bus would go forward a little. She touched the bar and heard the engine revving up. She decided to forget about her snack and make a run for it. But the bus left. The siblings were still there. Then a person came and took Lynn's protein bar.

"Hey! That was mine!" Lynn yelled as she ran to the other side of the street.

Three buses quickly went by.

"Those buses didn't even stop for us!" Lincoln said.

Lynn ran back and shook the bus stop sign in anger. "Gosh Dang it!!"

"Guys, we gotta get to the bottom of this." Lisa advised. "This is preposterous. We've missed too many buses. We should head down to the bus station and ask for a bus ride back to Royal Woods."

The Louds head inside the bus station. They go to the line.

"We're first in line and nobody is gonna tell us otherwise." Lincoln said.

Then they saw a huge ugly person staring down at them.

"Ok, second. We're second in line."

The second person in line hisses at them.

"Third is good."

The third person glared at them.

"Fourth, not bad."

Soon, the kids had walked all the way to the back of the line.

"329. We're 329th in line and nobody forget it!"

The guy standing next to them put out a sign that said "329" and had an arrow pointed at them. Then he made a raspberry.

"Well, at least the line's moving." Lana said.

The line moved up but one guy quickly cut in front of them. This caused Lynn to fume. She was about to attack the guy but her siblings held her back. Time passed by and the siblings doze off in line.

"Next. (raspberry) Next!" Said the manager.

The siblings woke up.

"Guys, we're next!" Lincoln said. The siblings went up to the information desk.

"When is the next bus to Royal Woods?" Lincoln asked.

"What? (raspberry)"

"The bus schedule. The next bus."

"I can't (raspberry) understand (raspberry) your accent." The guy at the desk said.

"The next bus (raspberry) to Royal (raspberry) Woods. (raspberry)".

"Oh. (raspberry) Why didn't you say so? (raspberry) Next bus leaves in (raspberry) five seconds."

The bus outside had already left.

"Ooh. Tough luck kids. (raspberry) That's the last one til morning." (raspberry)

The guy left.

"Oh no (raspberry) you don't!" (raspberry)

The guy put out a closed sign. "Goodnight." (raspberry)

"Hold it! I'm not through here! (raspberry) Do you hear me? (raspberry) I demand you come back and give us a bus back to Royal Woods! Until then we are not leaving this spot!" (3 raspberries)

It becomes dark. The kids grew nervous.

"Ok, like I said, we'll be right here when you get back." Lincoln said nervously. ""At this spot. In the dark."

"Wait. I have my Udderlight." Lisa said and pulled out her udder shaped flashlight she got at Dairyland. She turned it on. "Ah, that's better."

Then it started to flicker and then it died.

"This isn't your average everyday darkness." Lana said with fear. "This is...advanced darkness. Hey, maybe if we close our eyes it won't seem so dark."

They all close their eyes. Then they hear a raspberry sound.

"Who's there?" Lincoln asked.

They quickly walked out of the bus station.

"Well I guess that spot will be there tomorrow." Lynn said nervously.

"Yeah, I concur. I think we better just keep walking." Lisa said nervously.

(Raspberry)

"Running. Better start running. Running." Lana said nervously as they all started running.

(Raspberry)

"Sprinting! Yes! We just gotta keep sprinting!" Lincoln yelled as the siblings all sprinted off.

They all ran into the road that went up. They were all in a daze from the impact.

"Sitting. Sitting. Bleeding." Lincoln said dazedly.

Then the kids heard footsteps approaching them.

"Hey, who's there?" Lincoln asked scared.

The footsteps came closer.

"Ok. That's enough." Lisa said scared.

"Don't come any closer." Lana said scared.

"I'm warning you. I know karate!" Lynn yelled scared.

The person came closer.

"AHHH!!" The siblings screamed.

Then they realized it was the troll looking guy who chased after Lincoln's balloon earlier. He had caught it.

(raspberry)

"Oh. It's only you." Lincoln said.

The guy tied the balloon around Lincoln's hand.

"Well that solves my balloon problem but we've got a bigger problem." Lincoln explained. "We're kinda stuck here. We need to catch a bus to get home."

As Lincoln was talking, the guy was blowing up his balloon to make it bigger.

"Oh you don't understand a word I'm saying, do you? Balloon (raspberry) have (raspberry) enough (raspberry) air. (raspberry) Thanks."

Lincoln started to float away. His sisters grabbed onto him. Luckily, the balloon was strong enough to carry all of them. Lincoln realized they were floating.

"Hey, I get it. Balloon travel."

"Thank (raspberry) you!" The kids thanked.

"You're welcome." The guy said.

The kids were surprised he didn't do a raspberry. Soon, they were out of Royal Bottom and were back in Royal Woods. They landed next to their house.

"Ah, home at last." Lincoln said. His balloon popped.

Just then, they saw a bus passing by with Luan and Luna on it. They stuck their heads out the window.

"Don't worry dudes, we're coming back for you!" Luna said.

 **The End**


	24. Chapter 24: Not Normal

Parody of the Spongebob episode: Not Normal

Lori is having a relaxing afternoon sunbathing outside. Suddenly, a loud screeching is heard, scaring Lori.

"What the heck?!" She went to look for the source of the noise. She saw Lucy hanging upside down on the tree in their front yard. She was the one making screeching sounds.

"Hey! Lucy, what are you doing?" Lori asked annoyed.

"I'm just trying to have a decent afternoon." Lucy replied.

"By hanging upside down and screeching like a vampire?!" Lori said.

"Lori, a vampire screeches like this." Lucy made a different sound.

Lori gave her an annoyed look.

"You know, there are two kinds of people." Lori explained. "There's normal people and then there's you."

"Really?"

"Yes! Maybe you should start being a little more normal!" Lori yelled and went back inside.

"I'm not normal?" Lucy questioned.

Lori went into her room to relax on her bed and text Bobby. Lucy suddenly appeared in front of Lori on her bed, scaring her.

"Lori, how does one become normal?" Lucy asked.

"Well, you could start by-" Lori throws Lucy out of her room. "Staying out of my bedroom you little creeper!"

She slammed her door shut.

"What's wrong with me?" Lucy said sadly. She got a determined look. "I need to understand normal."

Later, Lucy is in the living room. She has bought a video tape titled "How to be Normal for beginners."

"How to be normal. This video tape should help."

Lucy put the tape in the video player. On the tv screen, a dressed up man appeared. "Are you tired of being called a freak? Do people throw you out of their rooms? Well do they?"

"Yes, Yes, And Yes." Lucy answered.

"Then join me as I take you on a journey into normality." The man said.

"Normality," Lucy repeated.

On the screen, they showed a row of houses that all looked the same.

"The life of a normal person is relatively simple." A girl opened the door of her house. She was smiling and was dressed similar to Rita. "Her is your typical average Joe or Joanna on her way to work. See how she's dressed. Even her hair is boring." She combs her hair. "Notice how her hair doesn't cover her eyes and she often smiles."

"Eye coverage? Smiles?" Lucy said.

"In her school, Ms. Normal, at least that's what it says on her name tag, works at a steady and monotonous pace. Just like all the other normals do."

We see a classroom where all the classmates look like the Ms. Normal. Then it cuts to a lunchroom. "Take note of how they communicate with each other."

"Hi. How are you?" Two normals said in unison as they sat down at a table to eat.

"After school, Ms. Normal goes home to complete her duties."

After school, Ms. Normal is now doing chores. Cuts to her doing her homework. It is now nighttime. "At the end of the day, Ms. Normal gets ready to call it a day and start her cycle again in the morning."

After the video was done, Lucy had a content look on her face. "Yeah, that's gonna be me."

The next day, Lori is waiting in line to use the bathroom. Lucy is in there.

"Hey Lucy, you almost done in there?" Lori said.

Lucy opened the door and walked out. "All yours."

"What? You're not gonna spook up on me?" Lori asked.

"Nope. I took your advice. From now on I'm normal." Lucy said with a smile. Her voice sounded a little different too.

Lori looked at her suspiciously. "Really?"

"Yep."

"Whatever. I know you're just waiting to say something weird."

"Wonderful weather we're having." Lucy said.

Lori paused. "Uh..yes it is."

"Ok, see you later." Lucy said and left.

"Yeah, I'll, uh, I'll see ya." Lori awkwardly went into the bathroom.

Lucy went back into her room to get dressed. Lynn came up to her holding Edwin.

"Yo Luce, don't forget to take Edwin to your class presentation." Lynn said.

"I won't be needing him anymore. He's not normal." Lucy said. "I'll do a presentation on a normal poet."

"Um. Ok?" Lynn said.

"Oh, and I don't sleep in a coffin anymore. That's so not normal." Lucy said as she went to get ready for school.

"And you're so not Lucy." Lynn said to herself.

Lori went downstairs to get breakfast. "I wonder what got into Lucy today?"

Lynn showed up and heard Lori. "I know right? She's acting different. She said she was planning getting rid of Edwin and she said she sleep in a real bed from now on. She's even dressed in brighter colors now."

Lori slapped herself in the face.

"That's exactly how I reacted." Lynn said.

Later at school, Lucy went to her classroom. She was now wearing a white buttoned up shirt that looked similar to Rita's. She was also wearing a light blue skirt and red slip in shoes. Her classmates saw her wearing different clothes and that she was smiling.

"Lucy, is that you?" One boy asked.

"Yep. Nice weather we're having." Lucy said.

"Uh, Yeah." The boy said.

"Lucy, I like your clothes." One girl said.

"Thank you. They're so normal." Lucy replied.

The events that followed next were Lucy doing her usual class assignments. She did her presentation on a famous poet. She didn't spook any of her classmates with her bats. She talked to her teacher and had a normal conversation with him.

"I could get used to this." The teacher said to himself.

Lucy's friend, Haiku however was not too happy to see Lucy's new change. At recess, she observed the others kids on what they do during recess instead of hanging out with her goth friends.She organized her locker which used to have a bunch of spooky related stuff in it. Now it was just plain and normal.

3 days later..

At the end of school, Lucy went outside to Vanzilla. Lori and the others were waiting for her.

"Lucy has been so different lately." Lincoln said concerned.

"But I like it." Lori said. "She's not being weird or creepy.

"But still, i think-Whoa." Lincoln said as he saw his eight year old sis. Her eyes were now revealed. They were beautiful.

"Hi guys." She greeted her siblings.

"Lucy, you eyes are so pretty." Lola said.

"Yeah." Lincoln said.

"Thanks."

"I've been meaning to say this but I've come to appreciate your demeanor lately." Lori said.

"You know it's funny Lori, I've grown a new personality and the rest followed suit. Now I'm utterly normal." Lucy said with a smile.

Later today, Rita got a call from Lucy's principal.

"Hello?"

"Hello Mrs. Loud, this is Principal Huggins. I'm calling on an issue concerning your daughter, Lucy Loud."

"Does this have something to do with her new behavior?"

"Yes. See, she's not playing with other students during recess. She just takes notes of what the others do. She says taking notes about things is what normal people do. She follows the adults around too. She even spied on me when I was making my morning announcements."

We cut to a flashback of Lucy peeking through the principal's window. She takes notes about him. Cut back to the present.

"Maybe you could straighten things out with her or else she would have to do homeschooling."

"Homeschooling? Ok sir, I'll let her know about this."

Lucy is in her room doing homework. Rita opens the door.

"Lucy, honey, we need to talk." Rita said.

"About what?"

"Look, your Principal just called me said you need to stop studying so much and hang out the other students during recess."

"But I am hanging out with other students. I'm just takin notes of what they do."

"You're missing the point dear. At recess, you're supposed to have fun. You should go back to doing your goth related things with your friends and stop acting so dull."

"What you call dull I call normal." Lucy said.

"Honey, we follow the adults around to study them too. It creeps them out." Rita explained. "And because of this, they will put you in a homeschooling program. Please think about this."

Rita leaves.

"I guess the decision to be normal was more life changing than I thought." Lucy said to herself.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Lucy answered it. It was Haiku. "Hi Luce.

"Oh hi Haiku. It feels like we haven't hung out in weeks because I became normal." Lucy said.

"I see that. Hey, what do you say we play with our bats outside?" Haiku held out her bat.

"Let's do something normal like scrapbook organizing."

"Let's do this." Haiku grew big fangs. "Your turn."

"I think I'll pass." Lucy said. "But I do need to do some cleaning. Would you like to help?"

"Hey, listen, when you decide to do something fun, you know where to find me." Haiku said and left.

"Ok, see you around." Lucy said and closed the door.

Lori is in her room making her bed. A knock on the door is heard. Lori answers it to see Lucy.

"Hi, how are you?" Lucy greeted.

"I never thought I'd literally hear myself say this but please come in Lucy."

Lori and Lucy sat on Lori's bed. Lori offered Lucy a smoothie.

"Thank you. Tell me, what are you doing cooped up in here when the weather outside is so normal?" Lucy said.

"Well, I was doing my chores." Lori explained. "I just got done cleaning all my pictures."

Lori showed all her pictures of herself that were on her dresser.

"Wow. That's something you don't see in the average house." Lucy said.

"You know, Lucy. It's ok to be a little different."

"And you know what else is abnormal? The way you're always on your phone." Lucy said.

Lori was now texting someone. She looked up from her phone.

"Also, your hair is a little too big. I can fix that." Lucy got out a razor and started cutting some of Lori's hair. She showed Lori her new look through a mirror. "See? Looking normalier all ready."

Lori screamed. She now had a bald spot.

"One more thing Lori. You should do something about your farting problem."

Lori angrily threw her little sis out of her room. "And stay out of my room!" She slammed her door shut.

"Ok, I guess I was wrong to tell Lucy to change herself." Lori admitted to herself. Then she thought about something. "Hmm."

Lucy went back to her room. She sighs. "What happened? I'm getting kicked out of school, I lost my friend, and now I'm too normal for Lori. Maybe I have taken this normal thing too far. No problem Lucy, you made yourself normal. Now all you have to do is re-weird yourself. All it'll take is some mental adjusting and some tight clenching. Now focus and-"

Lori tried to change back to normal. She grew veins on her face and her face turned red. She breathed out. "Well this isn't working. If I'm gonna get weird, I'm gonna have to see a professional."

At the park, Haiku and Clyde are spinning in the air with a bunch of bats carrying them. The two kids were enjoying it. Lucy was there watching.

"That's very nice guys." Lucy said. "But I want you to train me. I want to be abnormal again."

Haiku snaps her finger. The bats fly down and Clyde and Haiku jump off.

"Hmm. I don't think you have what it takes." Haiku said.

"Please guys, if anyone can teach me the arcane art of the weird, it's you two. Mostly Haiku." Lucy begged. "Teach me how to be me again!"

"It won't be easy, but we'll do it." Haiku agreed.

"Yeah, we'll totally help!" Clyde said.

"Oh thank you guys." Lucy cheered.

"But first we'll need a bucket of black paint, a slide, and a flatbed truck. And you'll need a swimsuit."

We cut to the guys in a forest and were on top of a mountain. The three kids are in their swimsuits. Haiku, Clyde, and Lucy had enough black paint to fill up the slide they were about to ride down.

"Are you guys sure about this?" Lucy asked nervously as she was standing in front of the slide.

"Try to concentrate on your first lesson in wired." Clyde said. He pushed Lucy down the ride. "See ya on the other side!"

Clyde and Haiku slid down after her. They came to the end of the ride that lead to a ramp of the flatbed truck. They were launched into the air and landed in a mud puddle. A tourist and her kids approached them.

"Mommy, What are those things?" Her daughter asked.

"Those are undesirables honey. We only talk to normal people." The mother replied and she and her kids walked away.

"Sigh." Lucy said.

"Lucy, the weird therapy is working. You just said "sigh." Haiku stated. "We just gotta keep pushing the boundaries. We've gotta get stranger."

Now we go to a montage of Clyde and Haiku trying to revert Lucy back to her original self. They float through town on Haiku's bats. Lucy eats a fly. This causes her skin to go back to it's pale color. The kids smiled happily. Next, they are all hanging upside down in a tree.

"I think the blood is rushing to my head." Clyde said.

"Try talking in demon language." Haiku told Lucy.

Lucy spoke in a deep demon voice which made her English hard to understand. Haiku could translate it though. Lucy grew fangs. Haiku gave her a thumbs up.

Now Lucy, Haiku, and Clyde were in Lucy's room carving art onto Lucy's coffin. Clyde was trying to carve Lori. Haiku made a vampire and Lucy made a bloody heart. Lucy's hair now covered her eyes. Lucy smiled. Haiku and Clyde gave her a thumbs up. Suddenly, Lucy started to glow.

"What's this?" Clyde said.

"The final transformation." Haiku replied.

Lucy started to float and glow brighter but then she went back down. She still remained the same.

"Huh?"

"What happened?" Clyde asked.

"I don't know. I guess I became permanently normal." Lucy said sadly.

Lucy and Haiku started to cry and hug each other. Clyde sadly joined in on the hug.

"I don't want to be normal!" Lucy whined.

Then there was a knock on the door.

"Go away! We're mourning!" Haiku said.

"It's me Lori. I'm here to see Lucy." Lori opened the door to reveal she had a new look. Her hair was in a ponytail. She was dressed in a polo shirt and was wearing jeans. She also had a big creepy smile on her face and a different voice. "Hi."

Lucy and Haiku were shocked to see this. Clyde was just as speechless as them too.

"How are you?"

Lucy screamed and instantly changed back to her goth look.

"Lucy, you're back to goth!" Haiku said.

"Yeah, I guess Lori's normal look scared me back to my original look." Lucy said in her monotone voice. "Thanks Lori, you saved my life."

"Actually, I'm only pretending to act like this." Lori explained in her normal voice. "I was thinking if I dressed this way you would go back to being you."

"Well it worked." Clyde said.

"And I'm sorry I was being harsh on you Lucy." Lori said. "I mean, we're all different."

"It's ok. And Lori, you were totally normal before." Lucy admitted.

Lori smiled.

"Well guys, let's go out and enjoy this wonderful weather." Haiku said.

"Yeah." Lucy agreed.

Lucy was happy to be back.

The End


	25. Chapter 25: Lona Loud

**Parody of the Spongebob episode: Squidbob Tentaclepants**

Lola is performing at another one of her beauty pageants. She has longer hair than usual. She is doing a fancy walk as the crowd cheers. One of the younger boys rips his hair off as he goes nuts over Lola. They come closer to Lola.

"Lola! We love you!" Shouted one boy.

The boys carry her in the crowd.

"You're my Favorite!" Yelled another boy.

Lola happily smiles. We cut to reality and see Lola sleeping, meaning it was only a dream. She is then woken by her alarm clock. She moans and then gets up.

"Alright!" She shuts off her alarm. She looks at herself in her mirror. "Time for another at lame day at school. But just hang in there gorgeous, your star will at the beauty pageantry tomorrow."

Lana wakes up and yawns. "Time for another great day at school."

Hops lands on her head.

"Morning Hops."

"Ribbit."

Lola is busy doing her ribbon twirl.

"Morning sis." Lana greeted. "You getting ready for another pageant?"

"You know it." Lola said. "Soon, everyone will all recognize the talent that is Lola Loud."

"Oh. Well good luck." Lana is about to head over to the bathroom but she hears sounds coming from Lisa and Lily's room. Curious, she goes over to see what's going on. She sees Lisa turning on her new invention.

"Hey Lisa. What's this?"

"Well, this here is my new matter transporter. It can move things from one place to another in the blink of an eye." Lisa explained.

"Ooh, sounds great." Lana said.

"Let me show you how it works." Lisa got an apple and placed it inside the machine. The machine closed. Lisa pressed the forth button on her remote. The machine sparked with electricity before it opened up. The apple was gone.

"Where'd it go?" Lana asked.

"Just where you think it would be." Lisa said.

The apple was sent to Mrs. Johnson's desk as if she was expecting it. Cut back to the Loud House.

"Hey, do you think your machine could zap me outside? I wanna play in the mud before we go to school." Lana asked.

"I always did want to try a person." Lisa said. "Sure, why not? Get in there Lana."

"Woo hoo!" Lana went inside the machine. It closed.

"Hold on tight." Lisa pressed the button.

"Gee Lisa, this sure feels-" Lana got transported as her body turned into different shapes. Lola is seen outside practicing her spin technique for the pageant. Lana suddenly appears in front of her. Lola bumps into her, making them fall and her hand is in Lana's mouth.

"Hey sis."

In Lisa's room, her remote starts to malfunction. "What's going on with this thing?"

The twins get zapped back to Lisa. Their bodies are fused together into different shapes.

"What in the name of Einstein-" Lisa gasped.

The twins came out of the machine but they were now conjoined! They both shared one body which had Lana's overalls and Lola's sash. On one foot was Lola's shoe and the other was Lana's. Lisa backed away in shock.

"Hi Lisa." Lana greeted.

"I'm not sure what it is but something seems different about me." Lola said.

"Yeah, me too."

"Hey, What are you doing wearing my sash?" Lola said. "And what am I doing wearing your overalls? Aah! What is this?!

We're all mixed up together!"

Lola tried to get out of the fusion but it didn't work. "This is horrible! I have my pageantry tomorrow!"

"Oh, it's not so bad Lola." Lana said. "Now I have a new partner for mud wrestling. We'll be the best of sisters forever!"

Lana hugs her but Lola pushes her off.

"NO! Lisa, you gotta get us separated!" Lola said.

"Well I wish I knew how." Lisa said.

"Well you have to do something. I don't wanna stay like this!"

"Hmm, I wonder what would happen if I tried zapping you back in the transporter."

"Uh Yeah, Good idea. Let's do it." Lola suggested. The twins walk back into the machine.

"Well here goes nothing." Lisa pressed a button and the twins were transported somewhere else. They were sent to a kid's birthday party.

"Alright kids, it's time for our birthday boy to open his first present!" The mother said excitedly. She brings out a gift. "Ready Timmy?"

The boy opened his present, only to find the twins inside. They were still conjoined and looked like some kind of mutant. The kids screamed in terror and the twins were zapped somewhere else. Now we go to a hospital. There was lady in a hospital bed.

"Congratulations Mrs. Smith, you gave birth to a healthy baby boy." The doctor informed.

"May I see my baby?" The women asked.

"Of course."

The twins were zapped into the doctor's hands as he shows them to the lady. She screamed in terror at the sight of Lola and Lana's freaky fusion. The twins were teleported once again. Now we go to outer space. On a planet there were two aliens. A male and a female one.

"I've been in love with you ever since I first laid eyes on you." The male alien said.

The alien couple were about to kiss but the twins appeared in front of them. Lana's Head was now fused on top of Lola.

"Hey baby, what's your name?" The male alien said to the twins. Luckily, the twins transported away.

The female alien slapped the male alien and left. The twins are now back at the Loud House still fused together.

"It's no use Lisa. We're still the same." Lola stated.

"Well, that's a darn shame." Lisa said. "You know what? I was working on a blueprint for a new invention but it's still in the embryonic stage."

"Try anything!" Lola said desperately. "I can't go to my beauty pageant like this!"

"I'll keep working on it. In the meantime, you girls keep your heads up." Lisa informed and went back to her desk.

"Well, at least we're closer than ever." Lana said.

Lola sighs.

The twins are now at school. Their other siblings were a bit freaked out by their fusion.

"Do you think our siblings were freaked out by our new look?" Lana asked.

"Are you kidding me?" Lola said. "They were totally stunned. Even Luc was creeped out."

As the two walked in the school, everyone was giving them odd looks but the twins ignored them. One kid was eating spicy beef jerky as a snack. He saw the twins and was also stunned. He dropped his food.

"I gotta lay off the spicy foods." He said.

The principal came out and saw the twins. He was freaked out like everybody else. "Good lord! What happened to you? On second thought, I don't wanna know. Just don't be late for class." He left.

"Well, there goes my reputation." Lola said bitterly.

"Oh come on. Things could be worse." Lana said. "You could be covered in mud and I could be wearing a dress."

"Let's just hope this day can't get any worse." Lola said.

Lana and Lola go through their usual school day. At gym, they're playing dodgeball. Another team throws dodgeballs at them. The twins try to run in opposite directions but since they're conjoined they couldn't. They get hit by a dodgeball. Then they go to the bathroom.

"Well, this is gonna be awkward." Lola said. She and Lana had to share one stall now.

At lunch, Lola wanted to sit with her friends and Lana wanted to sit with her friends. They tried to move in opposite directions again but they fall back in Lana's direction and bump into other students, causing them to fall and spill their lunches. The principal heard this and came in to see what was going on.

"What's going on in here?"

"Ask the freak show twins." One student said annoyed as he was covered in food.

"Alright, that's it!" The principal shoved the twins out of the school. "You two are more trouble than your worth. And don't come back into you have this problem sorted out."

The twins walked off.

"I don't like being conjoined anymore." Lana admitted.

"Well we wouldn't be stuck like this if you didn't test out Lisa's invention." Lola said.

They continued to walk. They walked past Luna's friend Sam.

"Whoa. That is one freaky sis." She said.

Soon, the twins go to Lisa to see if she found a way to fix them.

"Lisa, please tell me you found a way to separate us." Lola said.

"Say hello to the molecular separator ray." Lisa said as she presented a new invention. It looked like a bazooka.

"Hello molecular separator ray." Lola said. "Well let's get on with it. My beauty pageantry is tomorrow night."

"Um, well I'm not quite done with it yet." Lisa explained.

"What?"

"I'm still working on it. At best I'll have it ready..the day after tomorrow. Maybe."

"Day after tomorrow?! No! No! No! I have my pageant tomorrow! I can't be stuck to that filthy animal!"

Lola was talking about Lana. Her twin's face was covered in mud.

"Well I don't wanna be stuck to Miss Prissy." Lana said, talking about Lola.

"Lisa, please. You gotta have it ready before the show!" Lola begged.

"Well uh, I suppose...I'll have it ready before the show."

"Oh thank you." Lola said hugging her little sister.

Later that night, Lana and Lola had to share a bed. They were sleeping on Lola's bed.

"I'm surprised you let me sleep in your bed." Lana said.

"Well, better than me sleeping with you on your bed." Lola said.

"What's wrong with my bed?"

"It's dirty and it smells like saliva."

"True."

"Well, goodnight Lana."

"Goodnight Lola."

They soon fall asleep but Lola is awoken by Lana's sleep farting. She groans in annoyance and covers her nose.

The next day, the twins are at Lola's beauty pageantry, along with the rest of the Loud family. Lola peeks from the curtain and sees a large audience and her family members, except for Lisa.

"Oh my. Where are you Lisa?" She closes the curtain. "I can't do it. I can't go out there."

"Lola, this is your moment." Lana encouraged. "The story you'll tell when you look back as a superstar."

"Superstar?"

"Now go out there and give them the best dang show they've ever seen!"

"You're right. The show must go on!"

The announcer speaks. "Ladies and gentlemen, Royal Wood's Beauty Princess Pageants is proud to present..Lola Loud!"

Lola comes out wearing a robe which is covering Lana's head. Everyone is surprised by her appearance. Techno music is heard in the background as Lola begins to do her fancy walk. The audience looked uncomfortable.

"Honey, I'm scared." Said one women to her husband.

Lola heard the people complaining and it made her nervous. As she walked forward, her robe got caught on a nail and it came off. Now both twins were revealed. The crowd was now shocked by this, except for the Loud family who already knew about the twins fusion.

"Um hi?" Lana said nervously.

"Whoa. Rock on freaky sis! Yeah!" Sam yelled in the audience.

The rest of the audience were actually amazed by this and cheered for the twins.

"Wow. They really like it!" Lana said happily.

The Loud family is cheering.

"Good job honey!" Rita said.

Leni gave her a thumbs up.

"They're, They're cheering." Lola said. She smiled. "I'm a star!

"We're both stars!" Lana said.

Suddenly, Lisa burst through the door with her molecular separator ray. She ran towards the stage. "Oh good! Well there you girls are! Looks like I'm just in Time!"

"Lisa?" The twins said.

"One blast of this molecular separator ray and you'll be separated in no time!"

"No! Lisa wait!"

It was too late. Lisa had blasted them, separating them. The crowd is no longer impressed but Lola continues to do her fancy walk.

"Eh, it's just not the same." Said one guy.

"Yeah, I'm outta here." Said another guy.

Then all the citizens left, except for the Loud family.

"Wait! Come back!" Lola cried. "Aw, my one moment of fame gone."

Lola looked at Lisa and took her device. She started pressing a button. "There's gotta be some way to reverse this!"

"No Lola! That's a very sensitive device!" Lisa warned.

The invention started to shake.

"Lola, I wouldn't-" Lana began but the whole family got zapped.

Now we cut to a someplace. We see a therapist.

"What seems to be the problem Miss Lola Loud?" He asked.

"It all started when I was born." Lola said.

We now see the entire Loud family conjoined together in a grotesque way.

 **The End**


	26. Chapter 26: Pranks a Lot

I think you know the parody.

Luan and Leni are walking up to a place called "Palace of Pranks."

"Well Leni, here it is. The palace of pranks." Luan said. "The greatest novelty shop in Royal Woods. All the greatest pranksters shop here. This is where I got my gag jelly bean can."

Luan shows her jelly bean can.

"Ooh, jellybeans! Gimme." Leni took the can and tried to open it.

"Leni, wait! It's a booby trap, remember?"

"Nice try Luan, but it's not gonna work this time. I'm gonna have some of your delicious jelly be-"

Leni opened the can and a bunch of fake spiders came out. Leni screams. "Spiders!!! And where's the jelly beans?"

Luan laughs. "That gets funnier every time you fall for it Leni. Come on, let's go inside."

"Jelly beans?" Leni said sadly.

Luan opened the front doors of the palace and sniffed the air. "Nothing compares to the smell of cheap plastic novelty items. Pranks, gags, and gross out toys as far as the eye can see. Isn't it everything I said it would be Leni?"

Leni was in an aisle and found another jelly bean can.

"Yay! Jelly beans!" Once again, Leni fell for the gag and a bunch of fake spiders fly everywhere. "Dang it. Not again."

Luan laughs.

"Good to see you Luan." Said a man wearing a clown nose and a bowler hat. "How's my number one customer doing?"

"Great Frank." Luan responded. "This is my sister Leni. She wanted to learn more about pranks."

"Well, it's pleasure to meet you." Frank went to shake hands with her, only for to get shocked. She screamed and sucked on her hand. Frank laughs.

"That's your first lesson miss. The grand daddy of all pranks. The joy buzzer."

Leni looked closely at Frank's joy buzzer he had on his hand. "I don't get it."

"You don't have to get it." Frank explained. "The prank is for the enjoyment of the prankster."

"You see Leni? Frank here is the master." Luan stated. "I learned alot about pranks from him."

The two girls followed Frank to his counter.

"Ok Frank, let's see what else you've got." Luan said.

"Well this came in just this morning." Frank pulled out a box of chewing gum and gave one to Leni. "Have some gum."

Leni took it and chewed it. Suddenly, her lips started to pucker up.

"Ha Ha! Sour chewing gum! Only 9.95!" Frank said.

Now Leni's whole face was puckered up.

"I don't get it." She said in a muffled voice.

"What can we get for one dollar?" Luan asked.

"Well, one dollar will get you this fake dollar." Frank said showing a gag dollar. "Fool your friends into thinking you've got a real dollar."

"What else have you got?"

"A whoopie cushion?"

"Nah."

"Fake vomit?"

"No."

"Real vomit?"

"Eww! Don't you have anything good?"

"Well, there is one prank I've been saving for a top of the line prankster." Frank took out a can. "Invisible spray."

Luan took the can. "Wow. Invisible spray."

"But I can see it." Leni said.

"Gee Leni, just think of the pranks we can pull with this." Luan said. She paid Frank.

"Good choice. Now be careful with that stuff girls. It stains clothes." Frank said.

"Thanks Frank." Luan said. She and Leni left the shop.

Now the two siblings were standing outside with the can of invisible spray.

"Here it is Leni. The ultimate prank. Invisible spray." Luan said.

"Like, what are we gonna do with it?" Leni asked.

"I know! We'll spray the park bench and sit on it. And when people walk by, we'll be floating in midair!"

The girls imagine themselves floating in midair at the park and a crowd of people witness this.

"They're floating in midair!" One man said.

"How do they do that?" A woman wondered.

They come back to reality.

"That's the ultimate prank!" Leni said. "Good idea Luan."

"Well let's get started!" Luan said.

"Wait, that stuff stains clothes, right?" Leni asked.

"Oh, you're right." Luan said.

"But I've got an idea." Leni said.

Cut to the Loud House. Leni and Luan come out wearing sweaters and baggy pants.

"These ugly sweaters and pants from Aunt Ruth are perfect to wear for a prank like this." Leni said.

"Good thinking. Nobody likes these." Luan said. "Ok Leni, give me the can."

Leni held the can closely to her. "I think since spraying the park bench was my idea, I should get to spray it."

"Leni, spraying the park bench was my idea."

"Yeah, but I said it was a good idea."

"Gimme that thing!" Luan and Leni started to fight over the can. Leni accidentally sprayed Luan's right arm causing it to become invisible.

"Aah! Righty!" Luan exclaimed.

"I gotta hand it to you Luan. You look kinda funny." Leni commented and laughs.

"No one messes with Righty." Luan snatches the can From Leni. "We'll see how you like it!"

Luan sprays Leni in the stomach.

"Kinda gives you that empty feeling, doesn't it?" She joked.

Leni snatches the can back and sprays part of Luan's face. "Yeah. Eye see what you mean."

Luan takes the can back and sprays more of Leni's midsection. "No guts, no glory." (laughs)

Several bad puns later

Now the two siblings were completely invisible, making it look like the can of invisible spray was floating in the air.

"Hey! I think this thing is empty!" Leni said shaking the can.

Luan took it. "No! It can't be! How are we gonna pull off the ultimate prank? Thanks a lot Leni, you used the last of it."

Luan tosses the can away. "Let's go inside and wash this paint off."

"Hey Luan, Do you know what time it is?"

"Sure, it's..half past invisible."

"Gee, it's getting late."

They see their Dad by the front porch on his phone.

"Let's ask Dad." Luan said. "Hey Dad, Do you have the time?"

"Sure. It's 10 to 3."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

"Don't mention what?" Leni asked.

Lynn Sr. saw there was no person there.

"Uh, who said that?" He asked nervously.

"I did."

"Aah! Ghosts!" Lynn Sr. screamed and turned white. He ran inside the house.

"Hey! I'm no ghost!" Leni yelled. "The nerve of that guy."

"Wait a minute Leni. My brain just hatched an idea." Luan said.

"Lay it on me."

"Ok, we're invisible right?"

"Yeah."

"If Dad thought we were ghosts, we could haunt everyone in Royal Woods! It's the ultimate prank!"

"Woo! Hi five!" The girls cheered and high fived.

"Let's go scare us some suckers." Luan said deviously.

In the Loud House, Lori comes out of the bathroom. She hears voices in her room and opens the door. She sees no one in there.

"Well that's funny. I literally thought I heard voices." Lori said.

Lori saw her ugly sweater. "And I thought I threw away that ugly sweater."

Then Lori saw her phone unplugged. "And I thought I had my phone charging."

And then what Lori saw next shocked her.

"And since when did I acquire all these pictures of Clyde?!"

There were pictures of Clyde of her bed. Then Lori heard voices and again and turned around.

"Wooo! We're ghosts! Woooo!" Luan and Leni were wearing sheets to cover themselves. Lori chuckled.

"I literally knew it was you guys." Lori said. "Alright, joke's over. Take off the sheets."

Lori takes off their sheets and gasps when see she doesn't see them. "It is ghosts!"

Lori screams and runs outside to Lisa's bunker. She bangs on it. Lisa opens it from inside.

"Do you mind? I'm studying here." Lisa said in her stoic voice.

"They're ghosts in the house." Lori stated.

"That's preposterous!" Lisa said. "There's no such thing as ghosts! That's something I'd expect to hear from Lucy. I mean, how can-"

Lisa was interrupted by the sound of ghosts wails that were next to her.

"Ghosts!" Lisa screamed. "Quick, get inside! My bunker should be ghost proof!"

She went into the bunker and Lori followed her. Luan and Leni laughed.

"Wow, we really scared them." Luan said.

"Who's gonna be our next victim?" Leni asked.

"A better question would be who isn't."

At Mr. Grouse's house, the old man is having leftover lasagna.

"Leftover lasagna. You will be mine." He said.

Suddenly, the lasagna was being eaten by someone else. It was Leni who ate it but she couldn't be seen. She burps.

"Excuse me."

Mr. Grouse runs out off screaming. "Ghosts!"

Next, Luan and Leni went to haunt Lynn Jr who was using her punching bag. Suddenly, the bag was moved out of the way and Lynn fell. Luan and Leni made more ghost noises.

"Ghosts!" Lynn jumped out the front window.

At the beach, a guy was surfing the wave. Another wave with the invisible sisters on a surfboard was seen next to him.

"Cowabunga!"

"Ghosts!" The guy fell off his board.

The girls continued to frighten more people.

"Ghosts!" Yelled Becky.

"Ghoooooosts!" Yelled Chad.

"Ghosts!" Yelled Flip.

"Ghosts!" Yelled Clyde.

"Toast." Said Rusty, showing his toast.

"Ghosts!" Yelled one guy in a bathroom stall.

Now Luan and Leni were reading the newspapers. Leni had hers upside down.

"It's official! We're the greatest pranksters ever! The whole town thinks we're ghosts!" Luan said.

"Yeah."

"There's only one guy left to scare and we'll have pranked everybody in Royal Woods." Luan saw a picture of Lucy on the newspaper. "Lucy."

"It says she's not afraid of ghosts." Leni read.

"Yeah. Lucy doesn't get scared by spooky stuff cause she's all about spooky. But we'll scare her in a different way. Now here's the plan."

Soon at the Loud House, Lucy is the only one there because everyone else was scared off by the "ghosts". Lucy is in her room.

"Ghosts? Hah! I'm not scared of no ghost." Lucy said. "A new ghost means a new friend for me. That's why I've made a little get together. I've got black chocolate cookies. Blood red soda. Halloween themed music. Also, I've got poems I can read to them and I can show them my bats. And if none of this attracts them, I could wear my grim reaper costume. So come on ghosts, show yourselves."

Suddenly, the door opened. The "ghosts" were here. But this time, they made giggling sounds.

"Lucy Loud! We've come to play with you!"

Lucy had a confused look on her face.

"Huh?"

"We want to give you makeovers and decorate your room pink." Said one ghost.

They got out a makeup kit.

"Uh, no thanks. Stay back." Said Lucy, becoming nervous.

"Time to decorate." Said one ghost. Lucy's coffin was painted pink.

"Oh no. These aren't the spooky types, they're...the opposite."

Lucy started to get scared. That's when Lucy heard the ghost voices.

"I think Lucy needs a makeover!" Said one voice.

Lucy began to back away until she saw the lipstick next to her.

"Makeover time." Both voices said.

Lucy screamed. "I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!!!"

Lucy ran to the front door and tried to open it but couldn't because it was glued shut.

"You can't escape Lucy! We glued the door shut!" Invisible Luan said.

"You'll never get me!" Lucy tried to jump through the windows but they were replaced with rubber and she was thrown back.

"Nice try Lucy. But we replaced all the glass with rubber!" Invisible Leni said.

Lucy was so desperate to get out that she tried going through the pet door in the kitchen but it wouldn't open.

"Too late Lucy. We blocked the pet door with wood!"

Lucy got into a corner in the kitchen. "Please spirits, leave me be!"

As Lucy was cowering in fear, Luan and Leni giggled.

"We've got her good Luan."

"Wait Leni, I've got one more idea."

Leni got Edwin and a Lucy got a paintbrush with pink paint on it.

"Oh Lucy, it's time to give Edwin a makeover!" Invisible Luan said.

"No! You leave Edwin alone!" Lucy threw a bucket of water at them.

The bucket of water washed the paint off and washed off the invisible spray on Luan and Leni, making them visible again. The two sisters laughed. Lucy could now see them.

"Well, if it isn't Luan and Leni." Lucy said bitterly.

Luan and Leni stared at Lucy confused.

"I know not of these names which you speak." Luan said still acting like a ghost.

Leni looked down and realized they weren't invisible now.

"Psst Luan! You're visible again." Leni stated.

Luan notices now. "Uh oh."

Lucy walks up to them. "So you too are the Royal Woods Ghosts."

"We're really sorry Lucy!" Luan said. "Please don't put a curse on us!"

"Guys, it's cool. I should've expected this from a prankster like you Luan. I must admit that was a pretty good prank. Come on, laugh with me." Lucy laughed.

Leni and Luan hesitated but started to laugh along with Lucy. Then Lucy noticed what they were wearing.

"Uh, why are you guys wearing those ugly clothes?"

"The invisible spray stains clothes so we didn't mind wearing these." Luan explained.

"Oh. I see. Well, you better change out of those before someone sees you."

"Yeah, I think I'd die of embarrassment if that happened." Luan said.

"Me too." Leni said.

"Well, we don't want that, would we?" Lucy said. "You two prankster better get going."

"Lucy, thanks for being such a good sport." Luan said.

"Don't mention it."

Luan and Leni walked towards the living room.

"Well, Lucy took that rather well." Luan said.

"Yeah." Leni agreed.

Suddenly, a spotlight shined on the two sisters.

"The Loud House presents live ugly clothed pranksters starring the Royal Woods Ghosts!" Lucy was the one who shined the spotlight at the girls. The Loud family was suddenly in the living room, taking pictures of them and cheering. Along with other people like Mr. Grouse and Clyde. Lucy laughed. Leni and Luan's faces turned red from embarrassment.

"Leni?" Luan asked.

"Yeah?"

"We should've bought the whoopie cushion!!!"

Those pictures were probably gonna be posted on the internet now. But this was a prank Luan and Leni would never forget.

The End


	27. Chapter 27: Ace Savvy & One Eyed Jack 2

**Parody of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy 2.**

It's Saturday. Lincoln is in the living room having breakfast.

"Ah, Saturday morning." Lincoln said to the viewers. "The perfect time to watch my favorite Saturday morning show: The Adventures Of Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack and enjoying the Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack Sugar Cereal." He poured himself some cereal. A prize falls out. "Wow! My Ace Savvy Cereal straw!"

The show begins. The narrator speaks. "Ace Savvy. Fleet and forceful."

Lincoln uses his straw to drink his cereal.

Ace Savvy is seen coming down by a rope tied to him. "By the power invested in him. Aided by his young ward."

Nothing happens.

"I said, aided by his young ward!"

One Eyed Jack falls down with a rope attached to him. He and Jack stand boldly.

"Protecting your town with strength and feats of agility."

Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack flex their muscles but they break their backs.

"...To the chiropractor. Away!" Ace Savvy says weakly.

They both slowly walk away. We transition to the next scene as Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack fist bump. Now we see cardboard cutouts of their enemies.

The narrator speaks. "Fighting a rogue gallery of villains, like Bad Buck Bill!" This villain is made out of dollar bill papers. He is wearing a cowboy hat.

One Eyed Jack punches the cutout.

 **Prop!**

"The Nasty Burger!" This villain is a living cheeseburger who looks like a expired Burpin Burger.

Ace Savvy kicks the cutout.

 **Cardboard**!

"And the Loony Goons!" These villains are identical twins who are bald and wearing the same suits with the initials "LG" on them. Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack take them out.

 **Lame!**

"Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack unite!" The two heroes put their rings together. They spark and smoke comes out. The Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack title card for the show appears. Next the show announcer appears.

"Hey kids, are you ready to hear the winner for this week's contest?"

"I'm ready! I'm ready!" Lincoln said excitedly.

"Our winner will receive a special collector's item from The Adventures of Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack." He reads the name on a paper. "And the winner is...Landon Loroud."

"Aww." Lincoln said disappointed. "Me and Leni worked forever on those life size mannequin dolls of Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack."

The announcer shows the life sized mannequins. "For these life size mannequins of Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack."

"Hey! Landon Loroud stole my idea! And why does his name sound so similar to mine?"

Then someone hands the announcer his reading glasses. He puts them on.

"Oops. It appears I forget my reading glasses. The real winner is..Lincoln Loud!"

Lincoln cheers and does a backflip out of excitement. "I wonder when my prize will-"

The doorbell rings.

"-get here?"

He opens the front door.

"Package for Lincoln Loud." Said the delivery man.

"My prize!" Lincoln said happily that he started to form tears of joy. The delivery man gave him a tissue and left. Lincoln goes to the living room and opens the box. He gasps at what he sees.

"Can it be? It is! The Ace Savvy Siren Signal!" He holds it up to the viewers. It looks like a walkie talkie but has a button on it and a siren on top. "From The Adventures Of Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack as seen on tv! I wonder if it still works."

Lincoln opens a window. He presses the button on the device and the siren goes on. It flashes red and blue. At the retirement home, Ace Savvy and One Eyed are sitting on a couch. They hear the signal.

"The siren signal!" Ace said. "To the Invisible convertible!"

The couch turned around to reveal a secret entrance under its spot. The heroes are lowered down and slide down a tube which lead underground. They come out the other end and stop in midair.

"Uh, Ace?"

"Yes Jack?"

"We're not in the invisible converter, are we?"

"Uh, no."

They hit the ground. They start looking for the invisible convertible.

"Why did we even make an invisible convertible? It was a stupid idea." Jack complained. "It's gotta be around here somewhere."

Jack finds something. "Oh Ace, I think I-"

"Found it!" Ace said. He started the vehicle, burning his sidekick to a crisp since he was standing at the back of the convertible. Jack came to the front.

"Get a move on, man. We don't have all day." Ace said.

Jack pushes a button. "Ignition on!"

"Throttle on!" Ace said and pulled a lever.

The vehicle drove off through the underground cave and they came out from a hole which opened up near the retirement home. Now they drove into town. Back at the Loud House, Lincoln left the window.

"Maybe the siren signal doesn't work anymore." Lincoln said to Charles.

Charles barked. Just then, they heard the sound of a vehicle coming. Ace Savvy's voice was heard. "Activate torpedo mode! Fire!"

Ace Savvy crashes through the wall. "Ace Savvy!"

One Eyed Jack crashed into the door. "And One Eyed-"

The door fell down along with Jack still stuck in it.

"OMG! Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack are in our house!" Lincoln said excitedly. He walked over to them. "Excuse me, I'm-"

Ace pointed at Lincoln. "Holy cow! They've turned this kid into an old man! Dang it! We're too late!"

Jack rolled his eyes. "Oh please. It's not an old man. It's just that white haired kid we met at the retirement home. Remember?"

Ace lightened up. "Oh yeah. Good to see ya kid. Jack, we've gotta find out where that siren signal came from."

"Oh that was me. I started the signal." Lincoln stated.

"Alright, where's the danger son? Bring it on!"

"There's no danger."

"No danger?" Ace and Jack said in unison.

"Look, There has to be danger." Jack said. "You summoned us with the signal. And when you sum...Where'd you get that thing anyway?"

"I won it in a contest."

"Contest?" Ace and Jack said in unison.

"They don't tell us anything anymore." Ace said.

"Look kid, that ain't no toy." Jack said.

"That's right. The siren signal is an awesome responsibility." Ace explained. "We're duty bound to help whenever it sounds."

"But ya only blow it when there's trouble, or they'll be trouble. Ya got that?"

"Yes sirs." Lincoln replied.

"Good boy." Ace Savvy said patting the white haired boy on the head. He starts to leave but turns around and he and Lincoln wink at each other.

Jack was outside. "Come on already, they're serving ground beef today."

"Oh goody." Ace said and followed his sidekick outside.

Lincoln came out.

"Don't worry Ace Savvy. You won't be hearing from me for just anything. Only the big emergencies."

Later at the retirement home, Jack is in a robe knocking on the bathroom door.

"Would ya hurry up in there?" He said. "And save me some hot wa-"

The siren signal is heard. Ace breaks down the door, crushing Jack. He is wearing a towel.

"The siren signal! Come young ward!" Ace said.

"Coming." Jack said in a muffled voice.

They take the secret couch entrance but they end up breaking through it. They slide face first down the tube. We cut to the Loud House. Lincoln is lying on the floor in the living room. Charles is there next to him. The two elderly heroes arrive but Ace is not wearing his towel so Jack gives him a another one.

"Oh youth! Cut down in it's prime!" Ace lamented.

Lincoln moans. Ace picks him up.

"Speak to me son."

"Help...Need…" He holds out his game controller. "New batteries."

"What?!" Jack said in disbelief. "I come down here in my underwear just to replace your batteries?"

"But-"

"But nothing! We can't go around socializing! We have to be prepared for, Uh, emergencies."

"Jack, think about it." Ace said. "Emergencies don't come around as often as they used to."

"Ok fine." Jack said. He brought out some batteries and gave them to Lincoln. "You can use the siren every once in a while. Just give us something to do when we show up."

"Yay!" Lincoln and Ace cheered.

And so Lincoln continues to use the siren signal to summon his heroes. He calls them organize his comics, give him a massage, mow the lawn, help him with homework, and etc. One Eyed Jack eventually gets sick of it and snatches it from him.

"That's it! Gimme that! You're running us ragged."

Ace Savvy is crawling on the ground weakly. "Must...answer the clarion call." He collapses.

"We're exhausted!" Jack snapped.

"I'm sorry Jack. I-i didn't mean it. I just wanted to spend time with you." Lincoln said sadly. "You're my heroes!"

It's too late Mr. Contest! I'm gonna destroy this thing once and for all!" Jack declared. He threw it on the floor but it break. He got out a baseball bat and started smashing it but it still remained the same. Then he got out a jackhammer to destroy it but that didn't work either.

"Geez, what's this thing made out of?" Jack asked picking up the remote. He put it in his pocket. "Well, I'll destroy when we get back to our lair. Uh, and as for you-"

"Jack, don't squash his enthusiasm." Ace interrupted. "After all, he could become the hero of tomorrow. Or the villain. Besides, I remember another young lad who wanted to become a superhero." He holds out a picture of One Eyed Jack when he was child.

"You don't even remember breakfast, you old coot." Jack replied.

Lincoln was still sulking. Ace Savvy walked up to him and put an arm on his shoulder. "Maybe the siren signal is too much responsibility. But how would you like to spend the rest of the afternoon on patrol?"

Lincoln cheered up.

"What?" Jack said.

"To the invisible convertible!" Ace said as he and Lincoln ran to the convertible. Jack looked angry. Now he, Ace, and Lincoln were driving down the street singing. Lincoln was no wearing an Ace Savvy mask.

"Oh jingle bells, Ace Savvy smells, One Eyed Jack laid an egg!"

"Hey, can I drive?" Lincoln asked.

"Drive? You're just a kid. What do you know about driving the invisible convertible?" Jack said.

"Tons. Like the windshield wipers are right here." Lincoln pressed a button.

"No! That's the-"

The convertible formed into a cube and the three were crushed inside.

"..Rubix cube button."

Now they were at a community pool. Ace and Jack were doing their patrol duty standing at the end of the diving board.

"When patrolling the city, you always have to be vigilant." Ace explained. "On your toes, constantly alert. Always expect the unexpected."

They turn around and see Lincoln right behind them holding a box.

"Hey." He greeted.

The two heroes were so startled that they fell of the diving board and landed in the water.

"I've got the donuts." Lincoln said.

We cut to the three driving down the street in the invisible convertible. Lincoln and Ace sing again. "And One Eyed Jack laid an egg!"

They notice a guy who looks like Wild Card Willy. It was Lincoln's Principal, Mr.Huggins. He was at the sidewalk.

"Hey, that fellow over there looks like Wild Card Willy." Ace said.

"That's my school principal Mr. Huggins." Lincoln stated. "Wild Card Willy was inspired by him. See, I wrote an Ace Savvy comic and put it in a contest so I could meet the creator."

"Say, I remember reading that comic." Ace Savvy said.

"Alright punk, gimme all your money!" Someone said to Mr. Huggins. It was a thief. Well, a kid in a thief costume.

"No! Stay back!" Mr. Huggins said.

"Aww, isn't that cute?" Ace said.

"Ahhhh!" The kid screamed.

Lincoln was attacking him. "You're under arrest punk!"

Mr. Huggins stands there shocked. Ace and Jack run over to Lincoln.

"Stop kid! Stop! Let him go! It's just a kid in a costume!" Ace said.

"But you said any age could rob someone." Lincoln said.

"What? Get offa me!" The kid pushed Lincoln off.

"This is a second grade student from my school. He's dressed this way because he's performing in a play." Mr. Huggins explained.

"If I was real thief, I'd, I'd-" The kid kicked Jack in the shin. "Do that. Outta my way punk!"

Jack held his shin in pain. Next, Lincoln, Ace Savvy, And One Eyed Jack were at Burpin Burgers seated at a table. They all ordered a burger.

"I can't believe it!" Lincoln said happily. "I rode in the invisible convertible, learned about the Rubix button, and I got One Eyed Jack a bandage for his knee. All in one day. So what are we gonna do tomorrow?"

"Uh, say kid, why don't you take this coupon and order us that new Ace Savvy Ice Cream Shake?" Jack said handing Lincoln a coupon.

"Ok." Lincoln went to order.

"You know, for a pain in the neck, he's a pretty nice." Ace said.

"Let's ditch him." Jack suggested.

"I'm right behind you."

The two heroes made their way out of the restaurant. Lincoln is oblivious to this.

"Dang it!" Jack said.

"What's the matter?" Ace asked.

"Where did we park the invisible convertible?"

"Let's look for it." Ace wandered around. "Convertible, where are you?" He found it. "Jack, I found it!"

He starts the vehicle but ends up burning his sidekick again. They hear laughter.

"Still getting burned on that tail pipe, huh One Eyed Jack?" Said a voice.

The heroes turned around and saw a living pile of trash.

"It's the Talkin' Trash Eater!" Jack cried.

"In all his dirtiness!" Ace said.

The villain gets closer to the heroes as they shake in fear. In the restaurant, Lincoln comes back with the sundae.

"I got the sundae! And it's a triple decker flavor!"

Lincoln then hears Ace and Jack's cries for help. He looks out the window and sees them stuck in pile of living garbage.

"OMGosh! It's Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack's arch nemesis, The Talkin Trash Eater! I can't believe it!"

Lincoln rushed outside.

"You cannot save them White haired kid of mystery!" The trash creature said. "They are trapped by my stinky pits of stickiness!"

"You don't understand! You're my favorite super villain. Would you mine testing out my deodorant spray?" Lincoln held up a can of deodorant spray. He knew this villain could be defeated by this.0

The villain backed away. "Oh no, you fool. Not the deodorant! No! Noooo!"

Lincoln sprays the trash heap causing it to explode. Trash is splattered everywhere.

"It's a good thing I brought this stuff with me." Lincoln said.

Ace and Jack walked over to him. Ace lifted him up.

"Aha! You saved us son!" Ace said cheerfully.

"Yeah! You're a hero!" Jack praised.

"I am?" Lincoln said.

"Are you up for another ride in the Invisible Convertible?" Ace suggested.

"Yeah, that sounds great!"

Now the heroes and Lincoln are taking the kid back home in the convertible. They are all singing this time.

"Oh jingle bells! Ace Savvy smells! One Eyed Jack laid an egg! The Trash Eater exploded and Ace and Jack and Lincoln got away! Hooray!"

"Look out." Jack said.

 **The End**


	28. Chapter 28: Scaredy Boy

**Parody of the Spongebob episode: Scaredy Pants**

It's October 31. The day of spooky, the day of fear, the day to score loads of candy, Halloween. Everyone is having fun. Well, almost everyone.

At Rusty's House, Rocky's younger brother Rocky is seen cleaning his bed. He finishes.

"Phew, chores are all done." He said. He left his room and went to the living room.

"Rusty? Dad? Are you guys here?"

He saw the Halloween decorations in the living room. On the wall, there was red paint that dripped down which was made to look like blood. The blood formed into the word "Boo." This spooked out Rocky.

"Ok Dad, I'll be leaving now!" He made a dash to the door but was stopped by his father.

"Hold on there. Where are you going?"

"To Lucy's House."

"Don't you wanna hear my annual scary story?"

"No thanks...Uh, does it have monsters in it?"

"The worst of them all."

Rocky hesitated. "Uh….no."

He began to head out but then turned back. "Is it a true story?"

"Pretty true."

"Ok. Maybe just a little." Rocky said.

"Great. Have a seat on the couch." Rocky sat on the couch. His dad turned on a fire log decoration in the chimney and sat down next to his son.

"Every year on Halloween night, the gothic mistress phantom ascends from her grave."

"Gothic mistress phantom?" Rocky thought.

Rocky's dad continued. "She goes downtown and starts stealing people's souls. Then she puts them where you can never get them, in her soul bag." He pulled out a bag with the word "souls" on top and the words "trick or treat" on the bottom were crossed out. He laughs wickedly. Rocky looked frightened. Rusty suddenly appears behind him dressed up as the gothic mistress phantom.

"I've come for your soul."

Rocky sees this and jumps up, screaming in fear. Rusty took his wig and started laughing along with his dad.

"Rocky gets easier to scare every year."

Rocky was behind the couch. "Grr. Rusty."

"Ah, we're just messing with you son." Rusty's dad said. "Hope you're not too scared to come to the Halloween party at Gus Games n Grub, Scaredy Boy."

He walked off laughing. Rocky glared. Rusty snuck up behind Rocky.

"Steal your soul."

Rocky ran out the door screaming. He nervously walked through the neighborhood. He came across skeletons and pumpkins decorations that spooked him out.

"Trick or treat." A little girl said to him. Rocky got scared and ran off. The girl's mother walked up to her.

"What's with him?" The girl asked.

"Oh, don't mind him. That's just the scaredy boy." The mother said.

Rocky kept walking. Suddenly, Haiku dressed as a witch came by with a broomstick. Rocky was frightened and jumped into a tree, clinging onto a branch.

"Happy Halloween, you big wuss." Haiku said before she left.

"I'm not a wuss!" Rocky said. A squirrel climbed onto the branch. Rocky got startled and fell off. Luckily, he landed on a pile of leaves. A man walked over to him.

"Aw, come on man. I just raked those."

Soon, Rocky arrived at the Loud House. He saw all the spooky decorations. He knocked on the door.

"I'll get it." He heard Lucy's voice.

"It's Lucy. I'm gonna scare her. It's my turn." Rocky said to himself.

Lucy opened the door. Rocky roared at her, though it was pretty weak. Lucy was was wearing a Jason Voorhees mask.

"Hi Rocky."

Rocky screamed and fell backwards.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

Rocky got back up. "Why can't I be frightening for once? Where's my chance?"

"It's ok Rocky. You tried." Lucy encouraged.

Rocky came inside. "I'm not too fond of Halloween. Every year, no matter how hard I try, everyone always scares me and I'm sick of it."

Lily walked by wearing a pumpkin mask. "Goo ga ga."

Rocky got startled and jumped into Lucy's arms. "See what I mean?"

Lucy set him down. "My dad is a big coward when it comes to Halloween. I mean, he may be a bigger one than you. But I can help you be scary. After all I'm the queen of spooky."

"True." Rocky said.

And so Lucy helped her friend find a scary costume. Rocky finally found one he liked. He was getting dressed in the bathroom. He then came out wearing a bat costume.

"Whaddaya think Lucy?"

"Wow. You look adorable." She complimented.

"No. I'm supposed to look scary."

"Hmm. I know what you're missing."

Lucy got out some fake fangs and put them in Rocky's mouth.

"Now you look more terrifying." Lucy said.

"I don't know about this." Rocky said.

Lucy saw the twins coming upstairs. "Here comes Lola and Lana. Try to scare them."

Rocky went in front of the twins. Lola was dressed as the bride of Frankenstein. Lana was in a bear costume. "Rawr! Rawr!"

The twins just laughed.

"Aw, you're adorable Rusty." Lola laughed.

"I'll say." Lucy said suddenly appearing behind the twins which caused them to get startled.

"Of course." Rocky said.

Now Rocky and Lucy were in Lucy and Lynn's room.

"I just don't get it" Rocky said. "What do I have to do to be scary? I mean, look at you. You don't even have to try to scare anyone."

Rocky got an idea. "That's it. I should dress up as you."

"Dress as me?"

"But I won't a dress. Just a black shirt and a wig."

Lucy thought about it. "You know, that just might work. I have just the right clothes in my coffin. Go ahead and check."

"Ok." Rocky opened up Lucy's coffin. A bunch of her bats flew out, spooking out Rocky.

"Oh yeah. That was my Halloween prank."

"Yeah, real funny." Rocky said sarcastically. He then found the right clothing in the coffin.

"I don't think this wig will cover my hair though." Rocky said. "Maybe I could use a haircut."

"I know the right person for that job." Lucy said.

Lucy and Rocky are now in Lori and Leni's room. Leni was dressed as a mall cop. Rocky was now wearing a black shirt to match Lucy's favorite color. Rocky is sitting in a chair and Leni is preparing to give him a haircut.

"Are you sure you want me to cut your hair Rocky?" Leni questioned.

"Yeah, I like your hair." Lucy said.

"Don't worry, it'll grow back." Rocky said.

"Ok, let's do this." Leni said and turned on the razor. She began cutting Rocky's hair.

Soon, Rocky had on Lucy's wig. His face was also painted gray.

"How do I look?"

"Spooky." Lucy said.

Just then, Lincoln's voice was heard. "Guys, we're heading out to the Halloween party!"

"Oh, we better get going." Lucy said. "I'm going as Grandma Harriet."

"But she looks exactly like you." Rocky noted.

"Still. It'll be nice to dress up as her for Halloween."

"Ok, but before we head to the party, let's go scare us somebody."

The two kids head out. The other younger Louds decided to do some trick or treating before heading to Gus Games n Grub. Lucy and Rocky go to a house. Rocky rings the doorbell. A man opened the door.

"Boo!" Rocky said.

"Boo." Lucy said.

The man got startled when Lucy appeared behind him. He dropped his bowl of candy.

"Uh, help yourselves." He ran back inside.

Rocky and Lucy collected some candy and left.

"Wow. This costume sure packed a punch. But we both scared the heck out of that guy." Rocky said.

"Well, I think it was mostly me." Lucy said.

"Who should we scare next?"

"There's a bunch of people at the Gus' Halloween party. And Great Grandma Harriet is gonna show up uninvited."

Rocky looked confused. "What do you mean by that?"

Just then, they saw younger trick or treaters.

"Let's scare them." Lucy said.

There were three kids. One dressed as a mummy, one as a witch, and one as a vampire.

"Boo!" Rusty popped up in front of them. They were unphased.

"Boo." Lucy said popping up behind them.

They screamed and ran off.

"This is fun." Rocky said.

At Gus' Halloween party, the place was all Halloween themed. A lot of people were there. Including the Louds and the McBrides. Clyde was dressed as Napoleon Bonaparte. His dads were dressed as British soldiers. Lincoln, dressed as Ace Savvy walked up to them.

"Clyde, I thought you were dressing up as One Eyed Jack."

"I was going to but then I remembered our history report and thought I'd dress up as Napoleon.

"Well, I like it."

"Hey Dad, can I use that gun?" Clyde asked Harold, who was holding up a fake gun.

"Sure." Harold said handing him the gun.

"This thing shoots candy." Clyde told Lincoln.

"But be careful with that Clyde." Howard said. "It's very-"

Clyde shot out a Caramel apple.

"..Powerful."

The Caramel apple shot past Luan and Luna. Luan was dressed part clown part mime. She was wearing a clown wig and nose and also wearing a black and white striped shirt and pants. Luna was dressed as Mick Swagger.

"This is one rockin party!" Luna said.

"Yeah, it's pretty sweet!" Luan said holding up a chocolate bar. She turned to Mr. Grouse who was dressed as the Grim Reaper. "Hey Mr. Grouse.

Mr. Grouse looked at her. "What are you supposed to be? A clown prisoner?"

"Actually, a clown mime."

"I don't get it." Grouse said and walked off.

Outside, Lucy and Rocky made their way onto the roof. They had found a ladder. Rocky was now dressed as Great Grandma Harriet.

"So let me get this straight. I scare everyone by pretending to be your grandma?" Rocky questioned.

"Yep." Lucy said.

"Well, she must be as spooky as you."

"Oh, she was spooky alright."

Rocky opens a vent on the roof which had a way inside the party.

"Time to make a great entrance. Are you ready Rocky?" Lucy said.

Rocky gave her a thumbs up. Lucy finds a light switch.

"Ok Lucy, kill the lights!"

The lights go off in the pizzeria. Everyone starts screaming. Rocky is lowered down. Lucy speaks into a megaphone, doing an impression of her grandma.

"Bwa Ha Ha! This is Great Grandma Harriet! Booga booga booga!"

Everyone continues screaming. Lynn Sr., dressed as a master chef, is hiding behind a counter.

"Give me your souls!" Lucy's plan seemed to be working but then the rope was cut by a spiky Jack o lantern decoration. Rocky falls to the ground.

"Uh oh." Lucy said.

"Ow! My head!" Rocky groaned.

"Wait a minute. Rocky?" Rusty, dressed as Dracula recognized the voice of his younger brother.

"Uh, Hey." Rocky said awkwardly.

"It's the scaredy boy!" Lynn teased. She was dressed as a football player.

"Scaredy boy?" One guy said.

Everyone started laughing.

"Man, he almost had me fooled." Lynn Sr said to Rita, who was dressed as Medusa.

Everyone continued to laugh. Just then, lightning flashed. The front door was opened and there was a bright light. "ENOUGH!!!"

Everyone gasped. Black smoked appeared and formed into a gothic ghost lady. The Gothic Ghost Mistress! (A.k.a Great Grandma Harriet) She hissed at everyone. Everyone screamed in fear.

"It's the G-G-Gothic Ghost Mistress!" Lynn Sr. shouted before passing out. Lori, dressed as a cheerleader, looked at her father in concern.

"Aka Great Grandma Harriet." Lucy said suddenly appearing next to Rocky. Rocky however was too scared of the gothic ghost lady to be startled by Lucy.

"Wait, Grandma Harriet is the Gothic Ghost Mistress?" He asked.

"Yeah. I forgot to mention that." Lucy said sheepishly.

"You're darn right I'm the Gothic Ghost Mistress." The ghostly women said. "And I'm gonna let ya in on a secret. I'm gonna steal your souls."

This made everyone scream again.

"QUIET!" The mistress roared.

"You had it coming you big crybabies! Every year people dress up like me turning the Ghost Mistress name into a laughingstock! But that's not why I'm taking your souls."

Rocky, still wearing his costume, attempted to hide but the goth ghost saw him.

"You! You're that scaredy boy! You dressed up as me and made me look like a fool!"

"So I'm not scary?" Rocky asked.

"YOU? SCARY?!" The Gothic Ghost Mistress shrunk down to human size and put a shoulder around the boy. "Let me tell you about scary kid. There are all kinds of scary stuff in the world. Spiders are scary. I'm scary. You, you're not scary. Ok let's get this over with."

The ghost lady went back to her huge size and laughed wickedly. Everyone screamed.

"Oh Great Grandma Harriet. Have mercy." Lucy begged.

"But first I gotta get rid of this stupid costume." The ghost lady removed the wig from Rocky but was surprised at what she saw. She was so scared she flew out of the pizzeria screaming. Back at the pizzeria, Rocky is seen completely bald. He looked different. It was kinda disturbing.

"Hey! I scared her!" Rocky said happily.

Everyone else was surprised by Rocky's appearance. Lisa, who was dressed as alien dropped her bag of candy in shock. Everyone ran out of the party screaming. Lucy was the only one who wasn't scared. She and Rocky walked out.

"It worked Luce. I really scared everyone. Except you."

"Oh believe me. I'm a little scared on the inside." Lucy admitted.

Rocky noticed lots of candy was dropped on the ground. "Looks like I hit the jackpot this year."

Epilogue

Rocky had arrived home with Lucy. He collected a huge haul of candy that he split some with her.

"Man, I think this was the best haul I've ever gotten." Rocky said.

"I'm glad to see you had a good time." Lucy said. "Goodnight Rocky."

"Goodnight." Rocky said.

Lucy left. He opened the door. "Rusty? Dad? Are you home?"

"R-R-Rocky? Is that you?" Rusty and his Dad showed up.

"Hey guys." Rocky greeted.

Rusty and their father screamed when they saw him bald and ran off. Rocky was glad to scare someone but he didn't expect them to freak out this much.

"Don't worry. It'll grow back."

 **The End**


	29. Chapter 29: I Was a Teenage Hops

**Parody of Spongebob episode: I was a teenage Gary**

At the Loud House, Lana's frog Hops was exercising. He was doing pull ups with his tongue on a pull-up bar.

"Ok, exercise time is over Hops." Lana said picking up Hops. "That's one strong tongue you've there. Now how about we get you some flies to eat for your hard work."

Hops smiles. Lana got out a jar with flies inside. She opened it and they came out. Hops caught and ate them with his tongue.

"I love you Hops." Lana said as she hugged him. Hops jumped on her head.

Lola came in the room. "Hey Lana, are you ready?"

"Ready for what?"

"For the Annual Bluebell Scouts Resort weekend of course! They said we could bring our whole family!"

"Oh, that was this weekend?" Lana said. "Would they let me bring Hops?"

"I doubt it." Lola said. "The resort has a thing against frogs."

"Aw man, but who'll take care of Hops?"

Just then, Mr. Grouse rang the doorbell. Lynn Sr. went to answer the door.

"Alright Loud, who keeps leaving their muddy boots on my front lawn?" Mr. Grouse asked holding up a pair of muddy boots.

"Lana!" Lynn Sr. called.

Lana rushed downstairs. "Yeah Dad?"

"You gotta stop leaving stuff on Mr. Grouse's lawn."

"Yeah. Otherwise it's my property." Mr. Grouse added.

"My bad." Lana took the boots. "Say Mr. Grouse, would you mind watching Hops this weekend?"

"What's a Hops?"

"Not a Hops. Hops, he's my pet frog." Lana took Hops off her head and held him in front of Grouse. "Say hello Hops."

Hops croaked and drooled. Mr. Grouse was disgusted.

"You actually care for that thing?"

"I love Hops!" Lana said as she hugged him.

"Well I don't. Get somebody else." Mr. Grouse and walked off.

Lola came downstairs. "Well, I guess Clyde could take care of Hops while we're gone."

Mr. Grouse overheard what Lana just said and came back. "Gone? Where are going?"

"We're having a family vacation at a resort." Lana explained.

"You mean if I watch Hops you guys will be gone all weekend?"

"Actually a three day weekend."

"As in not here for three days?"

"Yeah, but you already said you can't do it. We understand."

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to watch an icky frog either." Lola admitted.

"I've changed my mind. You guys should take that family vacation." Mr. Grouse said.

"You'll do it? Great! Let me show you a little bit about frog care." Lana dragged the old man inside. She took him into the kitchen.

"You need to take Hops for a walk twice a day."

As Lana continued talking, Mr. Grouse was thinking about the good weekend he was going to have. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. A three day weekend.

Lana opened a cupboard which had jars of frog food inside. Ones labeled for morning and ones for night.

"Let me show you how you feed him. I have the jars labeled. A jar for the morning and a jar for night."

"Sure it's enough?" Mr. Grouse said sarcastically.

Soon, the Louds has packed their luggage and were all ready to leave for their family vacation. They were in Vanzilla waiting for Lana.

"Well gang, the other pets are all gonna spend the weekend at a pet resort." Lynn Sr. stated. "Except for Hops. Mr. Grouse agreed to take care of him."

"Well that was nice of him." Rita said.

Lana and Mr. Grouse walked out of the house.

"Well Lana, you have fun. Goodbye."

"Now you won't forget my instructions right?"

"Don't worry. I'll take good care of Fred."

"Hops." Lana corrected.

"Yeah yeah."

"Hurry up Lana!" Lola yelled.

Lana went inside the van.

"We're going on vacation! We're going on vacation!" The family sang and drove off.

Mr. Grouse waved goodbye. As soon as they were gone, Mr. Grouse became ecstatic. "Whoo! They're gone!"

Mr. Grouse went inside his house, completely forgetting about the frog who was staring out the window.

Later that day, Mr. Grouse was outside playing miniature golf. He was now wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses.

"Ah, this is the life." Mr. Grouse said to himself. "With the Louds gone, this is the most peaceful weekend I've ever gotten."

3 days later…

Mr. Grouse is seen playing miniature golf, which is what he did for most of the weekend. Then he heard voices. He saw Vanzilla driving down the street which means the Louds were back from their vacation.

"Well, that's the end of my peaceful weekend." Mr. Grouse said. "Nothing but me, me, me."

He looked at the Loud House and saw Hops, who looked pale. "Ribbit."

Hops fell down.

"Ah! The frog! I forgot about the frog!" Mr. Grouse rushes into their house.

Hops was laying on the floor looking rather weak. Grouse picked him up and went to the kitchen.

"I gotta do something!" Mr. Grouse opened up the cupboards and got out all the frog food. He poured it all into a bowl and threw all the jars aside.

"Ok, here we go!" Mr. Grouse picked up Hops and tried to feed him. "Come on! You gotta eat all this food!"

Hops remained still.

Outside, the family was now at their driveway.

"Oh boy." Lana said. "I can't wait to see Hops."

Inside, Mr. Grouse was still trying to feed the frog.

"Eat! Eat! Eat!"

Outside, Lynn Sr. got out his house key as the family were about to head inside.

Inside, Mr. Grouse had to act quick. He looked at the trash can and had an idea. The family finally came inside, along with the other house pets.

"Hops, I'm home!" Lana called.

Mr. Grouse came carrying a big pile of trash in a trash bag. It was full of Hops food.

"Hey guys." He greeted nervously.

"Mr. Grouse? Were you checking up on Hops?" Lana asked.

"Uh, Yes. And while I was here, I thought I'd take out your trash too."

"Gee, thanks Mr. Grouse." Lana thanked.

"You've been real neighborly." Lynn Sr. Said.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later. Goodbye now." Mr. Grouse left with the trash.

"I didn't know if I could count on you Mr. Grouse." Lana said.

Just then, Hops came out looking ill. Lana and the rest of the family were shocked.

"Ah! HOPS! What happened to you? What's wrong?" Lana asked picking him up. "Mr. Grouse! Something's wrong with Hops!"

Mr. Grouse felt guilty now. Especially since Lana was tearing up now.

"Honey, it'll be ok. I'll call a veterinarian." Rita assured.

Soon, the veterinarian arrived at the Loud House. Everyone was gathered in the living room, including Mr. Grouse.

"Yes, it's just as I thought." The veterinarian said.

"What?" Lana asked.

"This is definitely a frog."

"I know he's a frog!" Lana yelled.

The doctor continued. "Therefore a shot of frog plasma must be carefully administered. Here you go."

The doctor gave Lana the frog plasma.

"Aren't you gonna do it?" She asked.

"Oh, uh no. I'm too squeamish." The doctor said and left the house.

There was a bit of silence. Mr. Grouse decided to say something.

"Uh, Hey doc, let me help you with your bag there."

Lana stopped him. "Mr. Grouse wait! I can't give Hops his plasma! This is too much for me to handle! Can you do it?"

"Why me?"

"Because you were the one who volunteered to take care of Hops. And just look at him now!"

Hops coughed loudly.

"Hops!"

Mr. Grouse sighs. "Ok, I'll do it." He took the frog plasma.

"Now don't hurt him." Lana said as she held up the frog.

Mr. Grouse prepared to inject him but Lana moved the frog.

"No! That's too hard! Ok, try it again."

Mr. Grouse prepared to inject him but Lana kept moving the frog.

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!"

Mr. Grouse kept missing. "Would you hold him still?"

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!"

"Hold still!" Mr. Grouse accidentally poked Lana in the nose.

"Ouch! Mr. Grouse, you've just injected me with frog plasma."

"Well, you made me do it." He took the plasma shot off her.

"What's gonna happen to me?" Lana said.

"Nothing. It's just a little frog plasma."

"Well, injecting a human with frog plasma could lead to highly bad results." Lisa confirmed.

"I feel a little funny." Lana said rubbing her head.

"I'm telling you it's all in your head." Mr. Grouse said.

Hops made his way to his bowl. He drank some water from it and he instantly felt better.

"Ribbit."

"He just needed water?" Mr. Grouse said in disbelief.

"Oh Hops, you're better!" Lana picked him up and hugged up.

The other Louds smiled at this.

"Oh how touching. I'm gonna go home and barf. Goodnight." Mr. Grouse said bitterly.

"Mr. Grouse wait! The frog plasma!"

"Trust me Lana. Nothing's gonna happen to you. You're fine." The elderly man shut the front door and left.

"I guess Mr. Grouse is right." Lana said.

"He could be. Or there may be a chance that you may transform into an amphibian." Lisa stated.

Lana laughed. "Good one Lisa."

"Yeah, I doubt Lana would turn into a frog." Lola said.

"It does sound ridiculous." Rita said. "But I'm glad your frog is ok.

"Me too." Lana said. "So Hops, are ya hungry?"

Hops hopped. "Ribbit!"

"I'll take that as a yes."

In the kitchen, Lana has poured frog food into Hops bowl. She then began to craze some frog food herself. She tasted a bit of it. She liked it so she ate more. She went to Hops with the bowl.

"Eat up Hops."

Hops saw his bowl had no food in it. "Ribbit?"

"Sorry Hops. I couldn't control myself." She lets out a loud burp. "Ribbit. Wait, why did I just do that? Am I cracking up?"

"Ribbit." Hops said.

"No. Mr. Grouse is right. I'm fine. I guess I'm overreacting. I feel great." Lana went upstairs but started to hop up the stairs instead of walk.

"Boing! Boing! Boing!" Lana said.

She went to the bathroom and Hops followed her. She looked in the mirror.

"Look at me. Never better." Lana's tongue started to grow long. "Hops, I'm fine."

Suddenly, her skin started to turn green. Her arms and legs changed too.

"I take it back Hops! Something is wrong with me! Ribbit!"

At Mr. Grouse's house, Mr. Grouse was getting ready for bed.

"I hope I never see another frog again." He said to himself. He turns out the light. He then hears the doorbell ring. He turns the light back on. "Oh, who could that be? I think I can take a guess."

He walks to the front door. "Lana, is that you? I told you you're gonna be just fi-"

He opened the door and was surprised to see Lana completely turned into a frog.

"Ribbit."

Mr. Grouse screams and slams the door shut. He starts to panic. "Did I see what I think I just saw? What have I done? It's all your fault!"

He threw the frog plasma shot away. "Ok, ok. Get it together Grouse."

He heard Lana making frog sounds. He blocked his front door with a chair. But then Lana peeking through a window. He closed the blinds. He heard something else. It was coming from the chimney. Lana came in from the chimney. Mr. Grouse screamed and ran into the kitchen.

"None of this would have happened if I fed that frog!"

Lana came in. Mr. Grouse ran off. Lana jumped on him and the two started to wrestle as Grouse was trying to get the frog girl off of him. Noises were heard outside of the house. Inside, Mr. Grouse's living room was now a mess. Furniture was knocked over. Mr. Grouse got up. He had the snail plasma on this nose.

"Uh oh."

Soon, Hops, Lana, and Mr. Grouse who was now a frog were outside singing in frog version. (They were singing the Loud House theme song) Lola came out in her PJs. She was disturbed.

"Quiet! I'm trying to get some sleep!" She threw a boot at Mr. Grouse knocking him down. Hops and Lana continued to sing.

"I hope Lisa can fix this." Lola said and went back inside the house.

 **The End**


	30. Chapter 30: Small Steps

**Parody of the Spongebob episode: Walking Small**

For Plankton centered episodes, I'll be using an OC, Lena Shroud. The character was thought of by DarthFlores who used her for his fanfics. So with that info out of the way, enjoy.

It's a nice sunny day. At the beach, people are relaxing and having fun. Just then, a small bulldozer arrives at the beach. It gets rid of the beach sign. A four year old genius comes out. This little genius is Lena Shroud, the arch rival of Lisa Loud. She laughs evilly and pulls out a megaphone to speak into.

"Attention beachgoers, you are trespassing! You have exactly seventeen minutes to haul your carcasses of the future site of the Natural Shroud Science Museum!" She pulls out a sign with name of the place.

Everyone looks at her for a moment but then resume to what they were doing.

"Fine! Have it your way! I don't mind bulldozing over each and every one-"

A kid walks over and picks up Lisa's toddler sized bulldozer. "Mom look, somebody left this toy tractor here."

"Put that down Billy. That has germs on it." His mother said.

The boy drops the bulldozer in front of Lena and leaves with his mom.

"Aw mom."

Lena glared. "You'll see. You'll all see!" She threw the megaphone away. "With this museum, I could be more successful than my arch rival Lisa. The future sight of science museum must be clear to these cretinous beachgoers."

She looked around and noticed that everyone was mostly taller than her. "But it's becoming increasingly obvious. I can deny it no longer...I am short. I need someone taller to cover the beach for me. I need-"

Just then, Clyde walked by in his swim trunks listening to music on his phone.

"That guy."

Clyde sang. "Ooh girl. If I could Ooh girl. Give you the world girl."

"Yes, I believe that's the friend of Lisa's white haired brother." Lena said to herself. "He'll do nicely."

Clyde walks up to the ice cream vendor. "One-"

A guy cut in front of him. "Two please." He gets two cones. "Thanks."

"One please." Clyde said. A tall guy jumped in front of Clyde.

"Excuse me." He took the ice cream.

"One please." Clyde said.

"Sorry kid, we're all out." The vendor guy said.

"Dang it."

Then Clyde hears someone sobbing. It was Lena sitting on a bench holding two ice creams. She was pretending to be sad to lure Clyde over. Clyde walked over and sat down.

"Hey there, what's the matter kid?"

"Oh hi. I'm crying because I've got these two ice cream cones but I only need one. I don't know what to do with the other one."

"Hey, no need to be sad." Clyde said. "I'll eat one of those ice creams for you."

"Would you do that for me?" Lena asked.

"Sure." He takes a cone.

Lena stops being sad. "I'm Lena by the way."

"I'm Clyde. Nice to meet you."

They shake hands. Clyde enjoys his ice cream.

"Hey Clyde, isn't it great to get the things you desire? Like that ice cream cone for instance. You can have anything you want with a little training."

Clyde continues licking his ice cream. "Training?"

"Yes, you just have to be more assertive. And I can show you how."

Clyde licks his cone. "Assertive huh?"

"That's right."

Clyde now finishes his cone. "Anything I want?" He eats his the rest of his cone. "Sounds great!"

"Wonderful." Lena said and laughed evilly. Clyde began to laugh too but his laugh was more awkward. Just then, a fat kid walked over and sat right on Clyde.

"Clyde! Don't let that guy sit on you!" Lena said. "Assertiveness lesson number one. Tell him to get off!"

"Um excuse me, you're sitting on me." Clyde said.

"No! Be assertive!"

Clyde sticks his finger in the guy's pocket. "Beep beep."

Lena facepalms. "Not insertive!"

The kid checked his watch and got off of Clyde. He left.

"Clyde, you missed your chance. You've gotta be aggressive to get the things you want. You're too soft."

"Well, I was strict with my pet cat once. I told him he could only have anchovies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner." Clyde said. "Does that count as aggressive?"

"...Not really. I mean, cats love fish."

"Yeah, but anchovies are his least favorite kind of fish."

"But still, it's a well known fact that cats will eat those species and we're getting off topic."

Clyde and Lena now notice the tall guy who took Clyde's ice cream from earlier.

"There's the guy who took your ice cream." Lena stated. "Don't you want it back?"

"Well, it's probably full of his germs now." Clyde said.

"Oh just follow me."

Lena and Clyde go after the guy.

"Hey you, my friend's got something to say to you!" Lena said.

"Who said that?" The tall guy said. He looks at Clyde. "Was it you?"

"This is it Clyde. Assert yourself!"

"That's my ice cream." Clyde said.

"Now let him have it!"

"You can have it." Clyde said, thinking Lena meant that he should let the guy have his ice cream.

"Ok, thanks." The guy left.

"No!" Lena shouted. "I'll show you how it's done."

She got out a walkie talkie and taped it onto Clyde's back. She got out another walkie talkie for herself to speak into. She went behind a garbage can. Clyde was confused. Lena then spoke into her walkie talkie in a loud voice.

"Hey string bean!" Her voice was heard from the walkie talkie that Clyde had. The tall guy looked back.

"Yeah, you! Get over here!" The guy walked over to Clyde. "Surrender that ice cream cone or every waking moment for you will become a swirling torrent of pain and misery!"

The guy looked scared. He threw the ice cream at Clyde and ran off crying.

"Hey, that guy was crying." Clyde said.

Lena came over. "Those were tears of joy! He was happy that you were assertive."

Clyde bought it. "Oh, ok."

"You see how wonderful life can be..when you're maniacal!"

"I thought it was called assertive."

"Whatever."

"Well, if it got me this ice cream, then I like it." Clyde said.

Clyde's next activity was looking for treasure in the sand with his metal detector. Lena followed him. His detector made a beeping sound when he came across something.

"I found something!"

A boy walked up to him. "Excuse me, my metal detector broke. Can I borrow yours?"

"Sure." Clyde was about to hand it over but Lena stopped him. She whispered in his ear.

"Clyde, this is your next lesson. Tell that guy to take a hike!"

"Do you wanna take a hike with me?" Clyde asked.

"Sure." The kid replied.

Lena grew frustrated. "Now look what you did! Tell that guy to go fall in a ditch!

"Hey, why don't you go check in that ditch?" Clyde pointed to a ditch nearby.

The kid went down and found a treasure chest with the detector. "Wow. Buried treasure. Thanks!"

"Did you see that Lena? That guy found some buried treasure."

"Clyde, you'll never get it right. Tell that guy you know kung fu and you'll tie him a knot if you don't your metal detector back."

"Hey, I'm gonna tie your shoe if you don't give that back." Clyde said.

"But I'm wearing sandals." The kid pointed to his sandals.

"Alright, nevermind. It's ok Lena. He's wearing sandals."

Lena looked annoyed and walked away.

"What's wrong?"

Lena packed up a suitcase with her beakers. She also had a Einstein doll. "Oh nothing. I was just beginning to think this was a waste of time."

"No it's not."

"Forget it. I guess you don't have what it takes to be a stand up guy."

"Well, I'm not an expert but I have learned some things from a certain comedian."

"What?" Lena said confused.

Clyde cleared his throat. "Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener. Get it?"

Lena groaned.

"Yeah I know, it was a bad pun."

"Clyde, you'll never get the things you want. You'll always let people step all over you." Lena said. "You're like a carpet."

"Wait Lena, give me another chance."

"Ok, but this is your last chance." Lena pointed to the people laying around the beach. "Look at those beach hogs soaking up your sun ray. Do you have what it takes to get a tan?"

"Just watch me!" Clyde went over to the crowd of people. He takes a beach towel and waves it in the air causing sand to build up everywhere. The people run away.

"Man, this thing is sandy!" Clyde then lays down on his back with a funnel as his sun lamp.

Lena witnesses this. "Yes! My plan is beginning to work. They're leaving the beach."

Clyde walks over to Lena. His skin is more brown.

"Clyde, that was wonderful! Is that an all over tan?"

"Well, not all of me."

"Hotdogs!" A guy selling hot dogs at a stand is giving hot dogs away. There was a line of people. "Get your hot dogs here!"

"Look at that huge line at the hot dog stand." Lena said. "Assertive yourself to the front!"

"I'll do better than that." Clyde takes a cooler and rushes to the front cutting in front of the people. He takes the tray of hot dogs and dumps them in his cooler. He goes back to Lena. The people were disappointed.

"Let's go home." One guy said.

"Clyde, that was genius!" Lena complimented. She pointed to a group of kite flyers. "Look at those kite flyers blocking your view."

"What?!"

"Breaking your wind!"

Clyde pulls a comb out of his hair and throws it. It cuts the strings of the kites and comes back to him like a boomerang going back in his hair. He laughs maniacally. A volleyball lands near his feet. Becky and her friends are seen at a volleyball court.

"Hey Clyde, can you pass the ball?" Becky asked.

Clyde picks up the ball and pops it. He roars like a lion. The crowd looks surprised at this.

"What do we do now?" One teen asked.

"Let's go home I guess." Becky said disappointed and she and friends left.

"Did you see that Lena? I was a regular alpha male!" Clyde then realized Lena was missing. "Lena?"

He then sees her driving a small crane. He goes up to her. "Lena, all my asserting has driven everyone away."

"Exactly."

"You didn't tell me they'd leave."

"Oops." Lena presses a button on her crane and a sign came out out the ground. It was the science museum sign.

Clyde gasps. "Shroud science museum? You used me for land development! That wasn't nice."

"Haven't you figured it out Clyde? Nice guys finish last." Lena said. "Only aggressive people conquer the world!" She laughs evilly.

Clyde thinks for a moment. "Well, what about aggressively nice people?"

"Huh?"

Clyde takes his cooler of hot dogs and goes back to the hot dog stand.

"What are you doing?" Lena said.

Clyde dumps all the hot dogs out of his cooler and onto a tray. People come back and help themselves to a hot dog.

"Yay! Hot dogs!"

Clyde brings back new kites. He ties them near a dock. People come back to start flying kites again.

"Wait Clyde, stop!" Lena shouted.

A little girl was crying. She had dropped her ice cream in the sand. Clyde saw this and came back with a bowl of fresh ice cream for her. She smiled as she took it.

Lena was disgusted by this. "Oh mother of Einstein! I can't take it! It's too cute! I-It's disgusting!"

A surfer was sitting in the sand looking bummed because his surfboard was broken. Clyde came over to him.

"Hey man, what happened?"

"I hit a rock with my board dude." The surfer explained.

"I can fix this." Clyde got to work with his construction skills and quickly fixed the surfer's board.

"There you go!" He handed over the surfboard.

"Alright! Thanks dude!"

"Clyde, stop! Before it's too late!" Lena yelled. "Your kindness is bringing everybody back!"

A crowd of people rushed over onto the beach.

"Stay back! No!" Lena got trampled by the people. The surfer was surfing the waves and came back to the shore.

"That was awesome!" He said.

Lena was groaning in pain from getting run over.

"Gee Lena, sorry about your museum." Clyde said.

"Forget about that! I just can't take so much kindness in one sitting!" She bunches into into a ball and crawls away. "Need hatred."

Everyone stared at her crawling away. Clyde looked back at the crowd of people.

"Who's up for a game of volleyball?" Clyde asked.

"We don't have a ball." Dana said.

"I do." Clyde said holding up a new volleyball.

Everyone cheered and ran to the court.

"Serve up!" Clyde tossed the ball and he and the others enjoyed their game of volleyball.

 **The End**


	31. Chapter 31: Imitation Loud

**I believe it has been a whole year since I started the Sponge House parodies. So I wanted to publish a new chapter today. This is a parody of the Spongebob episode: Imitation Krabs. Another Lena centered fanfic. Enjoy.**

At the Loud House, Lincoln is enjoying his day playing a video game. He is playing Super Mega Brawlers Turbo Fighters as his plumber character (who resembles Mario) and he is on a boss level fighting a dragon pyrodactyl villain. (who resembles Bowser)

"Yes! I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" Lincoln said proudly.

Outside, a surprise visitor was walking up to the house. It was that villainous Lena Shroud, disguised as a robot business lady.

"This disguise is perfect." She said to herself. "With this, I can steal my nemesis's greatest invention! Oh, one more thing." She added lipstick onto the mouth of the robot. She laughed evilly before knocking on the door.

Lincoln heard and was interrupted from his game.

"Aw man. Not now." He paused and went to answer the door.

"Hello. Are you Lincoln Loud?" The lady robot said.

"Yes, I am. Why?"

"Because you've just won one million dollars!" The women said holding up a huge one million dollar bill.

Lincoln gasps. "Wow! Really? This is too good to be true!"

"You just have to answer one question. We know your sister Lisa Loud is one of the greatest inventors in town."

"That is true." Lincoln stated.

"So the question is, what is Lisa's greatest invention?"

"You really wanna know?"

"Yes!"

Lincoln took a deep breath and talked rapidly fast. "Lisa's greatest invention is the sole property of her room and is only to be discussed in part or in whole with it's creator, Lisa Loud. Duplication of the invention is punishable by law. Restrictions apply, results may vary."

The robot's lips fall off. It shakes and the head flies off, revealing Lena. She is now angry. She leaps at Lincoln and grabs his shirt collar.

"That's it! You better cough up that secret invention or else!"

Lisa overheard this and comes to the front door. "Lena!"

"Lisa!"

"Lena!"

"Lisa!"

"Lincoln!" Lincoln butted in.

Lisa attached a jetpack to Lena's back. "Hey! What the-"

"Have a nice flight!" Lisa said smugly.

The jetpack activated itself and flew the black haired scientist out of the Loud residence and into the air. "Curse you Loud!"

The others siblings came down and saw what was going on outside.

"Was that Lena?" Lana asked.

"Yep." Lincoln said.

"Lena is a cunning diabolical critter." Lisa told her brother. "You gotta keep an eye on her guys. My greatest invention is at stake. If she got a hold of it, she could use it to jeopardize our future."

"Don't worry Lisa." Lincoln assured. "As long as you've a big family us, we won't let you down!"

"Uh Lincoln, could you let me down?" Lisa asked. It's revealed that Lincoln is holding up Lisa.

Later that day, Lynn was outside. One male and one female scientist were walking by their house.

"Oh, I just loved Lisa's cleanliness cleaner invention." The male scientist said.

"Well, now you can keep your kids sanitized for a whole week." The female scientist said.

"Yeah. But you know, I've always wondered what her greatest invention is."

"Code thirteen! Code thirteen!" Lynn overheard the conversation and tackled the scientist. She tried to rip his head off. "Your disguises can't fool me Lena!"

"Lynn! Cease!" Lisa yelled as she ran outside. "What in Einstein's name are you doing?"

"I'm trying to protect your invention from Lena." Lynn said.

"That's no reason to attack people." Lisa explained. "And this man is a local scientist. He is a colleague of mine."

Lynn got off him. "Oops. My bad."

The female scientist helped him up.

"I think I injured my gluteus maximus." He said.

"Just remember my important rule." Lisa said to the jock.

"Don't drink from your beakers?"

"No. My other important rule. Regarding my secret invention."

"Only discuss the invention with you."

"As long as you do that, the secret is safe." Lisa assured.

"Ok sis." Lynn said and left.

Nearby in a tree, Lena was spying on Lisa with binoculars. She had an idea. "That's it. I know how to get that invention now." She smiled sinisterly.

Later that day, Lori was doing washing the laundry. Lisa came in carrying a pile of sweaters.

"Eldest sibling, I need you to wash these."

"Aw come on." Lori complained. "I was literally almost done. And why are they so dirty?"

"Let's just say there were too many lab explosions."

Lisa handed them to Lori. "Now to get back to polishing my beakers."

After Lisa left, someone came out from under the stairs. It was Lena disguised as Lisa. It looked pretty convincing except her shoes were black. She went over to Lori who was texting.

"Excuse me Lori?" She said in Lisa's exact voice.

Lori sighed and continued texting. "What is it now Lisa?"

"That's right. I'm Lisa, your second youngest sibling."

Lori stared at her suspiciously. "Ok, what's up with you?"

"Uh, say why don't you let me finish up laundry duty." Lena said. "You've been working hard anyway."

"Oh. Ok. Whatever you say Lisa." Lori went upstairs feeling relieved. Lincoln came down.

"Hey Lisa." He greeted.

 _Oh sweet domination! This is it!_ Lena thought in her head.

"Just wanted to let you know there's no sign of Lena yet." Lincoln noticed something. "Say, are you doing laundry? I thought Lori was on laundry duty today."

"Well, she had something else to do." Lena said.

"Lincoln! Where are you?" Lisa's voice was heard.

 _Dang it! It's that blasted Lisa! She'll ruin everything!_ Lena thought.

"Look! An Ace Savvy figurine!" Lena pointed.

"What? Where?" He went to look for it and Lena had time to hid behind the washing machine. Lisa came down.

"Where is it?" Lincoln wondered looking for the figurine.

"Lincoln. There you are." Lisa said.

"Wait, where's the-"

"I found your underwear in the hallway. Now would you please cleanse it. It smells atrocious." Lisa hands him his underwear and leaves. Lincoln sniffs it.

"Phew. When was the last time I washed this?"

He went to the washing machine and saw Lena disguised as Lisa.

"Lisa, I thought you just left."

"Nevermind that. I need to talk to you." She grabs Lincoln's underwear and uses her clean o vision feature on her glasses to clean it. She gives it back to Lincoln.

"Wow. Did you install a new feature to your glasses?"

"Nevermind. I need you to tell me-"

"Lincoln!" Lisa's voice is heard again. Lena runs and hides. Lisa comes down. "Lincoln, I found another dirty underwear of yours in the hallway."

"Wait, didn't you want to ask me a question?" Lincoln asked.

"Yes, why do you keep leaving your clothes lying around?"

"I don't know." Lincoln puzzled. He was more puzzled of how Lisa came downstairs when she was right next to him in the basement. Was she playing tricks on him? Lena was behind the washing machine.

 _How am I supposed to get that invention with that pest popping in and out like that? I know._ She pulled out a Rubik's cube. _If there's one thing Lisa can't resist, it's solving a Rubik's cube. It's time to go stealth mode._

Lena was able to slither out of the basement and go upstairs without anyone noticing her. She found Lisa's room and threw the Rubix cube inside. She sneaked off. Lisa heard the cube.

"Oh. A Rubix cube." Lisa said. "One of the greatest inventions."

Before Lisa could grab, it somehow fly into the air and out of Lisa's room.

"Hey. Come back here." Lisa chased after it. She ran past Lily causing her to spin. Lily stopped and looked a little dazed. The Rubix cube flew outside and Lisa went after it as it flew into town. "Wait! I must solve you!"

Lena comes out and it's shown she's was using a remote to make the cube fly. _It's a good thing I installed that airplane mode. Now that invention is mine!_ She smiles sinsterly. Lincoln was in the hallway vacuuming. Lena walked up to him.

"Oh. Hey Lis."

"Yep, it's me, Lisa. In the flesh. Standing right in front of you." Lena stated.

"Yeah, I can see that."

Lena pulled out a microphone. "I thought we'd discuss my secret invention."

"Isn't that a microphone?"

"Oh yes, it is. This is for my life science studies." She puts it away. "Alright. Let's hear about that invention."

"Wait. First we have to perform the secret handshake." Lincoln said.

"Oh right. Let's shake." Lena held out her hand.

"We don't shake with our hands remember."

"Ok, why don't you start?"

"We stand on one foot." Lincoln lifted one foot up. Lena did so too. "Balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads and sing the National Royal Woods anthem."

They both hand chocolate milk on their heads and sang. "Oh Royal Woods. We pledge our hearts to you. As faithful as deep as true as blue, Royal Woods, we love you!"

"Invention time?" Lena asked.

"Not yet." Lincoln replied.

Six and a half hours later

Now Lena is doing all kinds of things with the other Loud siblings which she was not enjoying. She had to play tennis with Lynn, perform ballet with Lola, mud wrestle with Lana, feed Lily milk, pose as Leni's fashion mannequin, let Luna stage dive on her, listen to a poem from Lucy, paint Lori's nails, and perform a comedic gig with Luan. She was riding on a unicycle. She fell off and flew into a cake Luan set on the floor. Luan squirted whipped cream on her.

"I'd say you're a shortcake now!" Luan laughs.

Annoyed, Lena growls and wipes the cake and frosting off of her. The other siblings showed up in the living room.

"Ok, let's hear about that invention now." Lena said wearily.

"No can do Lisa." Lincoln said.

Lena was furious. "What?! But I did everything you guys said! They took like six and a half hours! I even had to pick up dog poop!"

She glared at Charles who smiles nervously.

"Now can't you tell me the invention?"

"But Lisa, it's literally your rule." Lori stated.

"Yeah, never discuss the invention." Lincoln said. He took out a medium sized gray box. "You keep it in this box."

Lena smiled. _This is it. The greatest invention Lisa ever created._ Lisa slowly grabbed for it but suddenly the Rubik cube flew in through the window. The real Lisa came in through the front door and everyone saw her. Lisa gasped. The kids all gasped as they realized there were two Lisas.

Lena grew nervous. _Dang it. I forgot my Rubix cube also worked like a boomerang._

"Guys! How could you?" Lisa said surprised. "Giving my invention away to this imposter!"

"Don't listen to her guys! I would never lie to you!" Lena fibbed.

"Siblings, believe me! I'm the real Lisa Loud." Lisa said.

"Oh please. She's obviously a faker." Lena said.

"I'm the faker?! I don't wear black shoes! And I'm slightly taller!"

"You calling me short?"

"QUIET!" Lori yelled. "Until we know who the real Lisa is, nobody moves! Nobody gets hurt!"

Lori was holding some sort of gun as she and the others glared at the two four year olds.

"Hey! That's my freeze ray gun!" Lisa pointed out.

Lori aimed and fired at Lisa but Lisa jumped into Lena's arms.

"I'll literally do the talking around here!" Lori said sternly. "I'll ask you two a couple of questions. Questions only the real Lisa would know."

"Ok." Lisa said. "I've got this."

"First question: what invention did Lisa make last week?"

"The split em upper ray gun!" Lena blurted out.

"Right! That's one strike Ms. Fake!"

"But-" Lisa tried to say.

"I'm running this quiz show! No buts or I'll kick yours!" Lori said. "Ok, who took out the trash this week?"

"Lincoln!" Lisa quickly answered.

"On Friday." Lori added.

"Lana." Lena answered.

"Correct!" Lori glared at Lisa. "You're starting to look phoney right about now. I'd be nervous if I were you. Now only the real Lisa Loud can answer this. If we're discussing the secret invention on a weekend and it's stormy outside and it's a game night, what do we do?"

"That's an easy one." Lisa said. "Let's see, if it's a weekend and it's game night, we Uh, we….can you give me a hint?"

Lori aimed the freeze gun at her.

"No! Wait!"

Lori fired and froze Lisa.

"Take that you imposter!"

The siblings cheered.

"We knew it was you all along little sis." Lori said.

"Here's you go." Lincoln said handing her the box.

"Gee, Thanks!" Lena took the box. She smiled evilly. _I've got it! It's all mine!_

Then Leni noticed a hair clip in Lena's hair.

"Hey. Nice hair clip! Can I see that?" Leni pulled on it and ended up removing Lena's hair, which was a wig. Lena's black hair was seen. The kids gasped.

"Hey! Lisa died her real hair black!" Leni said.

"No! That's not Lisa! It's Lena!" Lana stated.

"It's butt kicking time!" Lynn said cracking her knuckles.

Uh oh." Lena said.

"Wait!" Lori used the freeze ray gun to freeze her instead.

"Freeze missy!" Luan jokes.

"I guess I should send her home now." Lori suggested.

"Ok, now we gotta unfreeze the real Lisa." Lincoln said.

Soon, the fire by the chimney had melted all the ice around Lisa. Lisa could move now.

"I'm free!" Lisa said.

"Hey Lis, we're sorry about this." Lincoln apologized. "We thought you were the faker."

"Yeah, we feel dumb for not recognizing our own sister." Lori said. "But you and Lena literally look like twins."

"It's true." Lisa said holding her box. "But at least my secret invention is safe."

Then Lisa notices a girl with black hair who looks like Leni.

"Imposter!"

"Lisa, it's me, Leni." Leni said. "Lena inspired me to dye my hair black."

"Oh Leni, I knew it was you." Lisa said.

The End


	32. Chapter 32: Loud Dreams

**Based on the Spongebob episode: Sleepy Time**

It's nighttime. Lincoln is getting ready for bed. "Time for bed Charles."

Lincoln took off his socks and tossed them on the floor. Charles sniffed them.

"Charles, you know what they say: curiosity killed the dog."

"Woof." Said Charles.

"Ok, it was the cat but you know what I mean. Goodnight Charles." Lincoln went to bed and fell asleep. He started dreaming. _In his dream, everything in town was all Ace Savvy themed with giant cards as buildings and an Ace Savvy signal in the sky. Lincoln as Ace Savvy burst through one of the buildings and flew off into the sky._

 _"Hey, I can fly!" Lincoln said. "I must be the real Ace Savvy."_

 _Just then, Clyde as One Eyed Jack flew next to him. "Hey buddy, isn't this great? We can both fly and were superheroes!"_

 _"Yeah, I must be dreaming." Lincoln said._

 _Then they both heard a loud growling noise._

 _"What was that?" Clyde wondered._

 _Then they heard a long bark sound which caused sent the two boys tumbling down._

Lincoln woke up and looked down. He saw Charles growling and barking in his sleep.

"Dang it Charles, you woke me during my Ace Savvy dream." Lincoln complained. "I need a midnight snack anyway."

Lincoln left his room. As he was about to head downstairs, he saw something glowing in Lisa and Lily's room. Curious, he went to take a look inside. Inside he saw something glowing on Lisa's desk. It was one of her inventions: a metallic night cap.

"Hey, it's Lisa newest invention." Lincoln said. "What does this thing do again?"

He puts it on his head and turns the switch on. He now sees Lily and Lisa's dream bubbles.

"Hey, I can see Lily and Lisa's dreams." Lincoln said." I'm gonna take a closer look. First, let's see Lisa's dream."

He jumps into her bubble.

 _Lincoln finds himself surrounded by a bunch of books._

 _"Wow. Look at all these books. I must be in a library. I wonder where Lisa is."_

 _He calls out for her. "Lisa!"_

 _He sees a tall girl who has her back towards him and is wearing Lisa's clothes._

 _"Excuse me ma'am, but have you seen-"_

 _The tall girl turned around to reveal she was Lisa. She gasps. "Lincoln?"_

 _"Lisa?" Lincoln said surprised._

 _"How dare you invade the sanctity of my dreams?"_

 _"Lisa, you're tall."_

 _Lisa sighed. "In dreams, one is not tethered by earthly limitations."_

 _Lincoln looked confused._

 _"I'm saying anything can happen in a dream." Lisa explained. "Come with me."_

 _Lisa and Lincoln walk past science exhibits._

 _"So you own a science museum and a librarium?" Lincoln asked._

 _"Yes, though I prefer to call it the Sci-brarium." Lisa confirmed. "For ages, dreams have been thought of as windows to another realm." Lisa picks a book from a shelf and reads it. "Let me not mar that perfect dream, by an Auroral stain, but so adjust my daily night that it will come again." She looked at Lincoln. "Emily Dickinson wrote that."_

 _"Who?"_

 _Lisa turned to another page. "Here's one you might know." She reads. "There once was a man from Peru who dreamed of eating his shoe. He woke up with a fright in the middle of the night to find his dream had come true."_

 _Lincoln chuckles. "Wow Lisa. You sure are smart."_

 _"Tell me something I don't know."_

 _"Well, thanks for the info sis. I'll be leaving now." Lincoln heads out._

 _"Beware of your wandering eye, you white haired specimen." Lisa waved bye._

Lincoln gets out of Lisa's dream bubble. He sees his infant sister. "Now let's see Lily's dream."

Lincoln goes into her bubble.

 _Lincoln is now floating on a cloud with a happy face on it. The cloud brings him to the ground. Lincoln sees that everything is all colorful and lively. He sees a bunch of stuffed animals and Lily. A stuffed bear was tossing her up and down as Lily giggled._

 _"Hey Lily!" Lincoln called._

 _The stuffed animals and Lily see Lincoln._

 _"Hi Linky!" Lily said. Lily and the animals all hug Lincoln. Lincoln tries to breathe._

 _"I see you've made some new friends." Lincoln said. The animals stopped hugging. Lincoln noticed a bunny that looked like his stuffed rabbit Bun Bun. "Bun Bun?"_

 _"Lincoln?" The rabbit said._

 _"It is you!" They both said in unison. They shake hands._

 _"Are you here to join Lily's play date?"_

 _"Actually, I'm just visiting Lily's dream. Nice place you've here. You having fun Lily?"_

 _"Poo poo." Lily said._

 _"Well, you guys enjoy yourselves. I'm gonna head out now." Lincoln said and headed out. He went back on the cloud._

 _"Bye Lincoln!" Bun Bun and Lily waved. Lincoln waved back._

Lincoln got out of Lily's dream bubble. "Wow. This is great. I can visit people's dreams. And why stop now? Let's see my other sister's dreams."

Lincoln left Lisa and Lily's room and went to Lucy and Lynn's room. He saw their dream bubbles. He decided to go into Lucy's dream first.

"This should be interesting." Lincoln said. He jumped into her dream. _Lincoln was falling down. He saw lava below him and panicked but luckily he landed in a ferry boat which had a soft inflatable raft. He was then sent onto land and slid down a slide. He looked around. He saw fire, lava, skeletons, demons. He figured he must be in some kind of underworld. Just then, a skeleton came up to him._

 _"Hey sir, would you like to buy an organ? Only one dollar." The skeleton held a jar of body organs in front of the white haired boy. Lincoln freaked out and ran away. He ran into a cave but the cave was full of bats. He screamed and ran out. He then bumped into someone. It was someone wearing a black hoodie but the face couldn't be seen. The person also had a scythe._

 _"Ahh! It's the Grim Reaper!" Lincoln yelled._

 _The person pulled down their hood. It was Lucy. "I'm the Goth Reaper actually."_

 _"Wait, Lucy?"_

 _"Lincoln, I wasn't expecting to see you here. I guess you're immortal now."_

 _"No, I'm not."_

 _The demons all heard this and glared. Lincoln looked nervous._

 _"Sorry Lincoln, but we have a rule against mortals being in the underworld." The Goth Reaper said. "I'm immortal myself. You're my brother and all but I gotta send you back from where you came."_

 _She used her scythe powers to levitate Lincoln. He was blasted back up into the air._

Lincoln flies out of Lucy's dream and into Lynn's. _He landed on the back of a motorcycle. Lynn was in front and was wearing her motorcycle outfit. Lynn noticed him._

 _"Hey little bro, you here to perform a stunt with me?" She asked._

 _"Stunts?"_

 _Lincoln then noticed he was on a ramp with Lynn. Lynn rode her motorcycle down and off the ramp. They both flew off the motorcycle and into the air. The motorcycle fell and exploded._

 _"Lynn, what's going on?" Lincoln asked._

 _"Well, I'm performing a daredevil stunt where the both of us will land on that little target down below."_

 _A target is seen below them._

 _"This is crazy and dangerous!" Lincoln yelled._

 _"It's fine as long as you've got a big ol parachute!" Lynn replied._

 _"Oh, ok!" Lincoln grew shoes on his feet and they inflated._

 _"Not a pair of shoes, Lincoln! Parachute!"_

 _Lincoln pulled out a parakeet._

 _"Not a parakeet! Para-"_

 _Lynn fell and created a hole in the target. "-Medic."_

 _Lincoln landed beside her and made another hole._ Lincoln fell out of Lynn's dream. Lincoln dashed out the room before Lucy and Lynn could notice him.

"Ok, I'm never going in their dreams again." Lincoln said. "Maybe Lana's dream will be better."

He went inside the twins room and saw their dream bubbles. He hopped inside Lana's bubble. _Lincoln was now in a desert. Then he heard rumbling. He looked behind him and saw a bunch of huge frogs hopping towards him. Lincoln screamed and moved out of the way. He hid behind a cactus. He took a peek and saw his sister riding a giant frog, Hops._

 _"Yee Haw! Get along little froggy!"_

 _"Hey Lana!" Lincoln yelled trying to get her attention._

 _Lana saw him. "Lincoln?" She stopped her frog by pulling on his long tongue. "Howdy big bro."_

 _"What's happening?"_

 _"Me and Hops are going after a fly." Lana explained. "Come and join us."_

 _Hops grabbed Lincoln with his tongue and set him on next to Lana on his head._

 _"So these flies must be pretty big I'm guessing."_

 _"You bet. And this is not your regular fly. It's a fruit fly. Look!"_

 _Lana pointed to a big orange with wings._

 _"Hops, get closer!"_

 _Hops went forward._

 _"Get ready to capture and...now!"_

 _Hops used his tongue to capture the fruit fly. The fly was a bit strong however as he dragged Hops along with him._

 _"Man, this thing is putting up a fight." Lana said. "Pull Hops, Pull."_

 _Hops pulled as hard as he could. He squeezed the fly and it stopped moving._

 _Lana cheered._

 _"Good job Hops!" Lincoln said. However he leaned too close and fell off Hops head and fell on his tongue. This cause the frog to release the fruit fly and it quickly flew away._

 _"Oops." Lincoln said nervously._

 _Hops and Lana glared at him. Hops used his tongue to grab Lincoln and throw him out of the dream._

He flew into Lola's dream.

 _He landed on the ground. "Ow." He looked around. "Where am I now?"_

 _He saw posters, statues, and a blimp with Lola on them. "I'm in Lola's dream. I'm gonna regret coming in here."_

 _Just then, he saw a shadowy figure. He looked up and saw the giant pageant girl. Lola was now bigger than anyone. She was wearing a crown and had a longer dress._

 _"I'm queen of the universe! Bow down to me!" Lola bellowed. A bunch of people ran to Lola and started bowing down to her._

 _"All hail Lola Loud! All hail Lola Loud!"_

 _"That's more like it!" Lola pointed at artist. "You! Make a painting of me!" She then pointed at baker. "And you! Get me some desserts!"_

 _The baker immediately ran into his bakery and got out a tray of muffins. He showed them to Lola._

 _"Those tiny things won't satisfy my hunger!" She yelled. She picked up the bakery which was shaped like a muffin and ate it. She then let out a loud belch. "Yummy!"_

 _"This isn't a dream. It's a nightmare!" Lincoln said._

 _He made a run for it but Lola noticed him. "Oh Linky! Come back here! You're gonna be my new playmate!"_

 _She chased after him. Lincoln ran as fast as he could. She was about to grab him but she tripped on a power line._

 _"Oh dang it!!!"_

 _She fell forward and knocked down some buildings. She laid down on the ground and groaned._

 _"Lola?" Lincoln said concerned. "I hope she's ok. Looks like she was too big, just like her ego."_

 _The other citizens gathered around to see this. After a moment of silence, they cheered._

 _"The wrath of Lola is no more!"_

 _"Well, I better get out of here now." Lincoln ran out of a dream exit._ In reality, Lincoln got out of Lola's dream. Lola started tossing and turning in her sleep. Lincoln left. "Ok, maybe I should stop messing with people's dreams."

Then he looked toward Luan and Luna's room. "But I can't resist. Luan's and Luna's dreams should be entertaining."

He went into their rooms. He saw their dream bubbles. Luan was giggling in her sleep. Lincoln jumped into her dream.

 _Lincoln started walking but he slipped on a banana peel. Luan dressed as a clown rode next to him on a unicycle. "Hey Lincoln, you literally fell for that prank. (laughs)"_

 _"Luan, where are we?"_

 _"We're in the circus, of course. I'm performing with other clowns."_

 _Lincoln looked around and saw the place was full of clowns. There was also a ringmaster. Giggles walked up to Lincoln._

 _"Hey Lincoln."_

 _"Hey Giggles."_

 _She shook his hand but shocked him with a joy buzzer and laughed._

 _"Man, I fell for that again."_

 _Just then, an announcer spoke. "And now ladies and gentlemen, it's time for our next act: The tower of clowns."_

 _The crowd cheered._

 _"Oh boy! You gotta watch this Lincoln!" Luan started to perform. She rode on her unicycle. A clown jumped on her shoulders and then the other clowns went on top of each each with Giggles at the top. Together, the clowns formed a pyramid like tower. The crowd applauded and Lincoln was impressed._

 _"Impressive. Maybe I can assist them."_

 _Luan continued riding her unicycle as she balanced the clowns on top of her. Just then, Lincoln was seen swinging on a trapeze. "Hey Luan!"_

 _"Lincoln, no!" Luan yelled._

 _Too late. Lincoln flew off the trapeze and collides with the clowns, making them all fall to the ground. Lincoln falls too. Luan and the clowns groan. The audience however bursts out laughing._

 _"Now that's funny!" A guy said._

 _Lincoln gets out of the pile of clowns. " I better get out of here." He runs but slips on another peel._

Lincoln falls out of Luan's bubble.

"Ow!" He noticed Luna's dream bubble. "I bet Luan's dream will be less painful."

He climbed up the bunk bed and jumped into her dream. _The first thing Lincoln heard was loud music. He then noticed he was on stage. He saw Luna performing with her idol Mick Swagger._

 _"Just as I expected." Lincoln said. "Hey Luna!_

 _Luna saw him." Bruh, what are you doing here? Did you come to see me perform?"_

 _"You could say that."_

 _"Why don't you perform with me and Mick over here?"_

 _"Yeah mate!" Mick said._

 _"Well, i don't want to mess anything up." Lincoln said. "Plus, I don't have a guitar."_

 _"I got you covered dude." Luna summoned another guitar and passed it to her bro._

 _"Sweet! Let's jam!" Lincoln played his guitar along with his sister and Mick Swagger. Luna and Mick Swagger had musical note fireworks coming out of their guitars. They blasted into the air and the crowd cheered._

 _"Wow. How did you do that?" Lincoln asked._

 _"There are different modes on the guitar. See for yourself." Luna said._

 _Lincoln looked at the different modes. There was a fireworks mode, a rocket blast mode, and a freeze mode, a fire mode, and a mode to summon guitars._

 _"Ooh! Let me try this rocket mode." Lincoln played his guitar but it was aimed at Mick Swagger. The guitar wave blasted him into the air._

 _"My bad."_

 _"Not cool bro." Luna said. She blasted Lincoln into the air._

Lincoln flew out of Luna's dream and landed in the ground but Luan and Luna were still asleep.

"My sisters sure are heavy sleepers." Lincoln said and left the room. "Alright, i should go back to bed now."

He was about to head to his room but noticed Leni and Lori's room. "But first, let me check out Leni's dream."

 _He went into his oldest sister's room and went into Leni's dream bubble._

 _He was in a mall. He saw Leni buying some clothes at the clothes section. She saw Lincoln._

 _"Hey Linky!"_

 _Lincoln walked up to her. "Leni, this is a dream you know. You can do anything you want. Watch. I can change my hair color."_

 _He changed his hair to the colors of a rainbow. "Pretty great huh?"_

 _"Yep." Leni said as she continued shopping._

 _"I can turn into-" He turns into Ace Savvy." -a superhero!"_

 _He flew around the mall. "Wasn't that cool?"_

 _"Sure Lincoln." Leni continued looking for clothes._

 _Lincoln turned back to normal, back to wearing his PJs and Lisa's nightcap has invention. "Ok, I'm outta here."_

 _Lincoln leaves._

 _"Bye Linky." Leni looks in her wallet and sees no money. "Aw man, I'm all out of money."_

 _Leni just stood there, not sure what to do next._

Lincoln came out of Leni's dream and saw Loris dream bubble. "Might as well check out Loris dream too."

He went in. _In Lori's fantasy world, she is seen in a tropical paradise. She is in her swimsuit. Bobby is more muscular and is in his swim trunks. He is carrying Lori in his arms as Lori hugs him. He sets her down in a pool._

 _"Would you like a drink babe?"_

 _"How about a coconut smoothie for the both of us?"_

 _"You got it!" Bobby snapped his fingers and a coconut with straws appeared. He and Lori shared it._

 _"This is so romantic!" Lori said._

 _"Yeah babe." Bobby said._

 _They were about to kiss when Lincoln fell into the pool, soaking Lori and Bobby._

 _"Oh, hey guys."_

 _"Lincoln, you twerp! Get outta my fantasy dream!" Lori yelled._

 _"I was just leaving." Lincoln ran away. After Lincoln left, Ronnie Anne suddenly appeared out of the pool. She had a mermaid tail._

 _"Was that Lame-o?"_

 _"Yep." Bobby replied._

 _"Wait, why are you a mermaid?" Lori asked._

 _"I don't know. It's your dream." Ronnie Anne said._

Lincoln got out of Lori's dream bubble. He squirted water of his ear. "I'm going to bed now."

Lincoln returned Lisa's invention to her room and went back to his room to sleep. "Now back to my dream." He fell asleep but then he saw his sisters heads floating around his room. They all yelled Lincoln's name. Lincoln was terrified.

"What do you want? Leave me alone!"

In reality, it turned out Lincoln was just dreaming. His sisters, except for Leni, were standing in his room trying to wake him up. He woke up with a scream. "Guys? What's going on? Are we having a slumber party?"

"No. We're not having a slumber party." Lori said.

"Do us all a favor Lincoln and stay out of our dreams." Lynn scolded.

The others agreed.

"Take a hike!" Lola said.

"Don't we get enough of you during the day?" Lori said.

"Don't I get enough of your nagging during the day?" Lincoln replied.

"Oh snap!" Luna said.

"Wait, did I really use Lisa's nightcap invention to travel into you guys dreams?" Lincoln questioned.

"What are you talking about? I never invented anything like that." Lisa said.

Just then, Leni entered the room. "Like, Does anyone have a couple of bucks?"

Everyone stared at her.

 **The End**


	33. Chapter 33: Dying For Pie

**A parody of the Spongebob episode with the same title. Speaking of pie, Thanksgiving is this week. And I'd like to say I'm thankful for the reviews and nice comments for this fanfic. Looking forward to upcoming chapters coming soon. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

Lori is sunbathing at a beach. She has given herself a nice tan. Just then, she heard someone's voice.

"Lori, Lori!"

Lori looked around, then she looked up. She saw the sun which had a face and sunglasses calling her name. "Wake up Lori!"

In reality, Leni was waking up her older sister who was in bed. Lori woke up.

"Huh? Wha? Leni, I was having a nice dream!"

"Sorry, but don't you remember what today is?"

"Let Lori Relax day?"

"No. It's the day where we exchange gifts for Sister Appreciation Day! I'm giving a gift to Lucy." She held up her gift box. "And you're giving one to Luan."

Lori sighed. "Doesn't that girl already get rewarded with cake at her birthday gigs?"

"Remember, it's the thought that counts." Leni said before leaving the room.

Sister Appreciation Day begins. Leni gives her gift to Lucy. Lucy opens it.

"A black sweater."

"It'll go great with your...blackness." Leni said.

"Thanks Leni."

Lucy gives her gift to Lola. She receives a perfume bottle. She read the description. "The perfect perfume for the perfect person? That's me!"

Lynn got a baton from Lola. "What am I supposed to do with a baton?"

"Use it for martial arts." Lola said.

Lynn spun it around and swung it. "This'll work."

Lisa's gift was a large pitcher. Lynn was carrying it.

"Yo Lis, I got you a pitcher for your nerd experiments."

"I'd prefer a beaker, but I actually accept your offering." Lisa said.

Lisa was offering a moldy chunk of cheese of Lana. She put it in a bag.

"I believe this offering will please you." Lisa said handing her gift to Lana.

"Another moldy cheese for my mold collection!" Lana said. "This is awesome!"

Lana put it in her pile of moldy stuff.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go barf." Lisa ran off.

Lana's present to Luna was mini radio.

"Here you go sis."

"I already own this." Luna stated.

"I know, but it was broken so I decided to fix it as your gift." Lana said.

"That's rockin dude."

Luna gave Leni a Boyz will be Boyz CD.

"OMG! A new Boyz will be Boyz DvD!" Leni said excitedly.

"It's a CD bruh." Luna corrected.

"Oh. Yay! A new Boyz will be Boyz CD!"

And Lincoln, even though he wasn't a sister gave Lily a new blanket. "Here's a new blankie for my baby sister."

Lily took it and hugged him.

Finally, it was time for Luan and Lori to exchange gifts. Lori was in the living room texting on her phone. Luan came down with something behind her back.

"Lori, in honor of Sister Appreciation Day, I present to you a gift. Ta da!"

Luan showed new slip on shoes that were similar to Lori's. They were the same color as Leni's dress.

"Those do look nice. Let me try them." Lori tried them on but then her feet felt itchy. She scratches. "Why do I feel itchy?"

"Those are my itchy powdered gag shoes. They're made from SCRATCH." Luan laughed.

Lori struggled to get them off. She got them and threw them at Luan.

"Worst gift ever." Lori said and went into the kitchen. Rita was there.

"Hold it Lori, did you present your Sister Appreciation gift to Luan?" Rita asked.

Lori sighed. "No. I'll buy the twerp a gumball."

"You should've had your gift ready for today. You know the rules."

Luan came in. "Hey sis, I know my gift wasn't good but I decided to give you this instead. It's a BBE locket. Best Boyfriend Ever. You can add a picture of Bobby in here."

Lori took the heart shaped locket. "It's beautiful." She started to tear up. "Thanks Luan."

"Don't mention it." Luan said. "So where's my gift?"

"Oh. I literally do have a special gift ready for my dear little sister." Lori lied. "It's..outside. I'll go get it."

Lori rushed outside. Once she was alone, she panicked. "Oh, what do I do now? I forgot to buy Luan a gift. I have to get her something."

Suddenly, a truck stops near the house. It looked like a food truck. Lori notices this.

"Now drive more carefully." Said a man in a business uniform talking to a driver. "One single bump and kaboom!"

"Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice you were selling homemade pies." Lori said. She saw the pies through the concession stand window.

"Oh, those aren't homemade." The driver said. "They were made in a factory. A bomb factory. They're bombs."

"Gee, that's too bad. I wanted to buy one."

"Wait!" The business man said and got out a pie. "Uh, we were just kidding about that bomb stuff. That'll be twenty five bucks please."

"So what flavor is it?"

"Cherry, Uh, cinnamon apple pie." The driver said.

"Good enough for me." Lori said. She paid and got her pie. Lori walked back to house. "This is literally great. Luan loves pie."

She went inside and saw the family in the living room, except for Lily who was napping in her room and Luan.

"Guys, where's Luan?" Lori asked.

"Well, she said she wanted to be prepared for the special surprise you got her." Rita explained. "She's getting a blindfold."

"Is that a pie?" Lola said.

"Yummy!" Lana said.

"Guys, this is for Luan." Lori said.

Lynn Sr. took a small piece of the pie.

"Dad!"

"I couldn't resist." He said. He was about to eat it but stopped. "Wait, this would go great with some milk."

He began walking to the kitchen but tripped over Lincoln's game console which cause him to drop the piece of pie. There was an explosion that blew up the front part of the house. The family came flying out and landed in the front yard. They got burnt from the explosion. They were stunned for a moment and they all glared at Lori.

"Lori, are you crazy? You could've killed me!" Lynn Sr. scolded.

"Dad, I had no idea! I can explain!" Lori said.

Then Luan came down. "Lisa, did you do one of your crazy experiments again?"

She noticed the pie on the table. "Ooh! A pie!" She noticed a note tied to the pie and read it. "From Lori to Luan."

Outside, Lori just explained everything to the others. "And that's what happened?"

"Twenty five dollars?" Rita said.

"A bomb!" Lynn Sr. said.

"In our house?!" The others said.

They ran back into their house. They saw the pie was gone.

"It's gone!" Lori said.

Luan appeared. "Hey guys! Thanks for the pie Lori!" Luan said and licked her lips. She walked upstairs.

"You had to kill her." Rita said. "The girl gives you a locket and you kill her. How are you gonna live with yourself?"

Lori was shocked. "Kill her?!"

Lori imagined Luan juggling balls and riding her unicycle outside. She suddenly explodes. We go back to reality.

"No! Ahh! What are we gonna-we gotta call a hospital!" Lori panicked.

"Won't do any good." Lisa said. "I've witnessed this before. When that pie goes up to bat, I mean hits her lower intestine, boom!"

Lori grabbed Lisa. "You've seen this before?!"

"Eleven times as a matter of fact."

Lori dropped her and pulled out her cellphone. She dialed a number. "Hello? Doctor? Hospital? Won't do any good? Eleven times?" She hung up. "She's a goner. How are we gonna tell her?"

Lori teared up. Leni comforted her.

"We don't tell her." Leni said. "That'll only make her feel worse."

"Leni's right." Lincoln said.

"The way I see it, she's probably got until sunset." Lisa stated.

Lincoln pulled out a photo of Luan as a little kid blowing out the candles on her birthday cake. "This picture brings back memories. Why ruin her last day on earth? Our comedian sister deserves to enjoy her final hours."

The others got sad too but all agreed with Lincoln.

"After she goes boom, i could arrange a funeral." Lucy said.

"Oh Luan." Lori sobbed. "We're gonna make Luan's final hours the best She's ever had. And there's gonna be so much love, she'll drown it! Drown in it!"

"We're with you big sis!" Luna said.

"Yeah!" The others agreed.

The kids went upstairs to find Luan. The parents stayed behind. After a moment of silence, Lynn Sr. looked at the damage in the front and spoke.

"So how much will it cost to fix all this?"

The kids came into Luan and Luna's room.

"Oh, what's up guys?" Luan said. She was looking through her joke book.

"Luan, I forgot to mention there's a part two to your gift." Lori said.

"If it's another pie, I'll pass. I already make too many of those."

"No, it's not that. We wanted to know what's the most fun thing you can think off."

Luan pulled out a list. "Actually, I keep a list of the most fun things I like to do."

"Great. Let us see it dude." Luna said.

Luan handed the list to Luna. The others looked at it. "The extra fun things I've written are in yellow."

"Literally everything's in yellow." Lori said.

"Yeah, I know!"

"We better start now if we wanna get through this list before you die." Leni said.

"Wait, what?"

"Die of anticipation." Lincoln said.

"Then let's roll!"

The kids (except Lily) head outside. The parents were sitting on the couch.

"Hey Mom and Dad, we're heading out to have some fun." Luan said.

The parents broke down crying their eyes out.

"Sheesh, what are they so upset about?"

"Uh, They're probably upset about the cost they're gonna have to pay for the house damage that Lisa caused." Lola explained.

"But I didn't cause-" Lola nudged her.

"Now let's take a look at the list." Lori said and looked it over.

"Well, the first thing I wanna do is some performing." Luan said. "After all, I am the toast of the CLOWN." She laughed.

"Man, I'm even gonna miss Luan's lame jokes." Lynn whispered to Lucy.

At the park, Luan has on her clown getup and was riding her unicycle. Her siblings were sitting on a bench watching.

"Hey Lori, come out here." Luan called.

Lori was behind a tree. "Do I have to?"

"You agreed to do this with me."

Lori hesitated but then she came over to Luan, dressed as a clown and riding another unicycle. They began performing. Luan juggled balls and a guy walking by gave her a thumbs up. Lori fell off her unicycle and the guy gave her a thumbs down. Some kids came by and watched the two sisters perform. They applauded for Luan. Lori tried to juggle but failed. One kid threw his ice cream at her. Next Lori tried making balloon animals. Carol came by and saw Lori as a clown.

"Lori?"

"Um, Hey Carol." Lori said a bit embarrassed.

A few minutes later, the siblings were ready to move on with the list.

"I'm glad that's over." Lori said.

"Good. Cause we're onto our next activity." Luan said.

"Which is?"

"We're gonna perform as mimes. Any volunteers?"

"I can assist you with that." Lincoln said.

"I do like the silent type. I'll perform as well." Lucy said.

Luan, Lincoln and Lucy began their mime performance. They pretended to be in a box together. Maggie was watching with the other siblings.

"Brilliant." She said.

Next, Luan told knock knock jokes to her siblings.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"I am!" Luan laughs. Her siblings pretend to laugh along.

Next, they walked backwards.

"Boop! Boop! Look out everyone! Siblings in reverse! Boop Boop!" Luan announced.

Next, Luan squirted water from her gag flower onto her siblings.

Next, Luan chased Leni with a gag spider.

Then, Luan was playing doctor with Lola where they seemed to be in a hospital room. Lola was the patient. Luan was checking Lola's heart.

"Are you sure you should be poking it like that?" Lola asked.

"Who's the doctor here?"

Blood squirted out. Soon, Luan has checked off almost everything on her list.

"And the last thing on the list is-"

"Does it involve more dismemberment?" Lola said who had a bandage over her heart.

"Watch the sunset with my siblings." Luan finished.

"Sunset?" The siblings said in unison.

Lisa's statement from before comes to their minds. They had worried looks. _The way I see it, she's got until sunset before that bomb hits her lower intestine._

"Hey, you guys ok?" Luan asked when she noticed the looks on their faces.

"Yeah, we're fine." Luna said as they snapped out of it. She puts an arm around Luan. "You want a sunset sis? You're gonna get one."

Somewhere near the forest, the siblings sat on the grass watching the sunset.

"Ah, sunsets sure are beautiful eh guys?" Luan said laying down.

"Yeah."

"This is great. I'm out here spending quality time with my siblings." It's revealed there's a brick wall between Luan and the other kids. "But what's with this brick wall between me and you guys?"

"Uh, the brick wall is a nice touch of scenery." Lana said.

"Sunsets always remind me of candles being blown out. What do they make you guys think of?"

On everyone's mind, they picture Luan laughing and then she explodes.

"Explosions." Lisa replied. "I mean erosions."

"You know, if I were to die in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a sibling, Well, I'd want someone to throw me the best funeral they could. That would make me happy."

The other siblings started to tear up. Then Luan burped.

"Wow. It feels like something just dropped into my lower intestine. Smells like cherry, or maybe apple cinnamon?

The sun began going down.

"Here it is! The sunset!" Luan said. "I always like to count it down! 5! You guys do the rest."

The other siblings stared at the sun with sad and scared looks. "4! 3! 2! 1!"

They braced themselves for the explosion but nothing happened.

"I guess we started too early." Luan said. "Let's start again!"

"5! 4! 3!" The sun went down. It was now night. The explosion came. "2! 1!"

The siblings cried.

"Well, at least we were able to make her last few hours meaningful." Lori said sadly.

"We are such good siblings dudes." Luna said sadly.

"Come on, let's go back home." Lucy said sadly.

"I catch up with you guys." Lori said.

The siblings walked off except for Lori who decided to have some alone time. Just then, another explosion happened causing the brick wall to fall on Lori. The other siblings heard and turned around to see Luan blowing balloons.

"LUAN?!"

Luan blew the balloon into the shape of a bomb which actually exploded. Lori came out from under the wall.

"Hey guys, check this out."

Lori started muttering.

"Lori, we already played babble like an idiot." Luan said.

"Little sis! You're still here!" Luna said happily and hugged her. The others were happy and hugged her too.

"Well, of course I'm still here." Luan said confused. "And since we finished the old list, I thought I'd make a new one. I already filled up this book with ideas." She showed a book titled "Fun things to do with your family." "We should be able to finish before next year."

Lori then realized something. "Wait a minute! We literally just spent the day doing ridiculous things with you because we thought you were gonna explode!"

"Explode? But I'm not even angry."

"No, we thought you were going to blow up." Lincoln said.

"Again, I'm not mad."

"We thought you were going to DIE!" Lola blurted out.

"Of anticipation?"

"No! Literally die!" Lori pointed out.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because the pie you ate was a bomb!"

"What pie?"

"The pie I brought in the house earlier today, that I bought from a food truck for twenty five bucks and I didn't know it was bomb and you ate it! That pie!"

Luan thought and realized. She took out the pie that she brought with her apparently. "Oh, this pie? I was saving this for all of us to share. Well, let's eat."

Then Luan trips on a rock causing the pie to fall out of her hand into Lori's face which caused a huge explosion in Royal Woods. The town is now blackened.

"Ow." Lori groaned.

 **The End**


	34. Chapter 34: Music Virus

**It's about time I did a Luna centered chapter. This one is a parody of the Spongebob episode: Earworm**

 **Also, R.I.P Stephen Hillenburg. He will be missed.**

* * *

Luna and Lori are doing their house chores in the kitchen. Lori is washing the dishes while Luna is mopping the floor. Luna is also singing a song.

 _"Do do do do do do do do do do! Trying to stop it is futile, so just listen now to my singing doodle!"_

As Luna continued to sing, Lori became irritated. "Will you stop that incessant babbling?"

"Sorry dude." Luna went back to mopping but she couldn't resist singing that song. "I'm mopping and I'm singing about the singing doodle."

Lori turned towards her. "Luna, stop singing that song!"

"Sorry, it's just so catchy."

"I literally don't care. Just zip it!" Lori got out a mini radio. "Now let's see what's on the public radio."

Lori turned the dial on the radio. To her annoyance, they were playing the Singing Doodle song.

"Ooh! It's the Singing Doodle!" Luna took the radio and held it up to ear. She started singing. _"Round and round the CD spins all day! Listen again, it takes you far away! Trying to stop it is futile, so just listen now to my singing doodle! Do do do do do do do do do do!"_

Lori took the radio and turned it off. "Seriously, how can you enjoy that trashy tune?"

"It's better than Lily's fox song." Luna said. "It's like this song and I were meant to be together."

"Well, hopefully this song won't be put in a CD." Lori said. She put the radio on the counter and left the kitchen.

Luna turned the radio back on. They were still playing the same song and she sang along to it. After it was done, an announcer spoke. "And that was the new song from the Catchy Tuners called Singing Doodle."

Luna sighs. "Man, I wish they had a CD."

"And for all you fans out there, they've just released their first CD album. Available in stores."

Luna smiled. She rushed past her mom who was at the front door. "Later Mom, I'm heading out!"

Luna rode her bike to a CD shop. She could already see the Singing Doodle album at the window display. She went inside. The store manager walked up to her.

"Hey, I'd like to buy-"

"The Singing Doodle album?" The manager said before Luna could finish.

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"I'm psychic."

"Whoa, really?"

"Nah. I just saw you looking through the window. It'll be five ninety nine."

After Luna paid, she got her CD and went back home. Lily was in the living room watching Blarney the dinosaur. Luna came in.

"Hey little sis." Luna greeted. She blocked the tv. "Wanna hear my new CD?"

Lily shook her head.

"I knew you would." Luna said and got out a boom box. She put the CD in played the song. Lily put on her earmuffs.

 _"Round and round the CD spins all day. Listen again it takes you far away."_

Luna sang along.

 _"Trying to stop it is futile, so just listen now to my singing doodle."_

For the rest of the day, Luna continued to play the song over and over until it was time for bed. Lily was now asleep on the couch.

"Yeah, listen again to the singing doodle! Let's play that CD one more time."

Luna was about to play it again but then looked at the clock. "Wow. It's late. I gotta go to bed."

She put the CD back in the album.

"I'll take you to your room Lily."

Luna took her baby sister to her room, got in her PJs, and went to her bed.

"I see you're finally done playing that song." Luan said in her bed.

"Yep. Goodnight."

"Night."

Luan went to sleep. Luna tried to sleep but found herself whistling the rhythm of the new song. She covered her mouth but that didn't help. She put a cork over her mouth but then spit it back out and started whistling again.

"Oh fine, I'll listen to it one more time just to get it out of my system."

Luna went back into the living room to listen to the song again. She sang along.

 _"Round and round the CD spins all day. Listen again it takes you far away. Trying to stop it is futile, so just listen now to my singing doodle. Listen again to the singing doodle!"_

The song ends.

"Uh, just one more time." Luna replayed the song. She did this more times throughout the night.

* * *

The next day, it was school. Luna walked through the hallway slowly to her music class. She looked pretty tired.

"Pushing your luck a bit, aren't you kid?" Her music teacher said standing next to his classroom. "You're a few minutes late. And you know how much I hate tardiness. I mean what if every kid was tardy? You know what the principal would do do do do do do do do. Singing doodle!"

Luna imagined her music teacher dancing to the Singing Doodle song while playing a tambourine.

"Luna!"

Luna snapped back to reality.

"Wake up! You need to get out your guitar for music practice."

"Oh. Right." Luna said and went into the classroom. She got out her guitar.

"Just focus on your guitar playing." The teacher said.

Luna sang part of the Doodle song while strumming her guitar. She stopped and chuckled nervously. Her teacher looked at her with confusion before going to the front of the class. Luna took her seat looking nervous. She started singing again but more quietly.

 _"Think you control it but it's way too hard. Every time it plays it's an electric charge."_

Luna paused and shut her mouth. In her thoughts, she rewinded what she just sang and it played again. Think you control it but it's way too hard. "That's it. I shouldn't try to control it. I should stop fighting the doodle's infectious groove."

"Luna, who are you talking to?" Sam Sharp asked who was sitting next to her.

Luna sang. _"Trying to stop it's futile, so just listen now to my singing doodle!"_

She began dancing in front of the other students. " _Think you control it but it's way too hard."_

She popped her head out of a pair of bongos which a student was playing. " _Every time it plays it's an electric charge!_ "

She danced on someone's xylophone. " _The sound in your head is brutal. Now you're infected by the singing doodle! Do do do do do do do do do! You're gonna listen again to the singing doodle!"_

Luna continued singing as she ended up spitting on a teen playing a guitar, who grew annoyed. "Ugh! I can't practice like this!"

"Me neither." Said another kid.

The students began to leave. The teacher looked at Luna annoyed as well.

"Luna! Will you stop singing that song?"

Luna stopped. "Sir, I've tried but it just keeps playing over and over in my head."

"Well, since you've disrupted the class, I'm sending you to detention." He have her a detention slip.

"Detention?"

* * *

Soon, Luna found herself in a detention room. She was the only student in the room so far. The high school principal was there to keep an eye on her.

"Well Luna, this is the first time I've seen you in detention. But I heard some kids complaining about some student singing a annoying song."

"Yep. That student is me." Luna stated.

"I hope that doesn't happen again Ms. Loud. Now I have to take care of some things in my office but I'll be back. Don't leave this room." The principal left.

Luna felt the urge to sing the song again as she tried to keep her mouth shut.

"Come on dude, think of another song. A song from Mick Swagger." Luna imagined her idol singing but instead of a Mick Swagger song he sang the Singing Doodle song. Luna groaned in frustration.

A few minutes later, the detention room had been rearranged by Luna. Chairs were stacked. Some desks were flipped over. The word "doodle" was written all over the walls. Luna was now in a state of craziness as she was still mumbling the song. The principal finally came back.

"(gasps) What the heck did you do? That's it. I'm sending you home."

"Trying to escape it's futile!" Luna ran off on her arms and legs like a mad dog. She burst through the door and ran through the hallway. She ran past her older siblings and out of the building.

"What's wrong with her?" Leni asked.

"It's that artless pop tune. She's obsessed with it." Lori said.

"Oh yeah. The singing poodle."

"Doodle." Lori corrected. "Come on, let's go help her. She could be in great danger."

Luna walked down the street like she was possessed. " _The song that ran from is back again. You wonder if the madness will ever end."_

People gave her odd looks. In Vanzilla, Lori gathered up the other Loud kids. They chased after Luna.

"So what exactly is wrong with Luna?" Lincoln asked.

"She has a catchy song in her head and can't stop singing it." Lori explained. "We're going to help her."

Luna came to the house and broke through a window. The others made it back home. Lynn kicked the door open.

"Yo Luna!"

"Luna, where are you?" Luan looked up and saw her sister clinging onto the ceiling. "Hey sis, how's it hanging? (laughs) But seriously, get down from there."

Luna hissed at them. She jumped onto the couch.

"Get her!" Lynn yelled.

Lynn, Lana and Lola leaped at the teen but she jumped out of the way. Lori tried to block Luna's path but Luna went under her. She went into the kitchen. She was about to escape through the backdoor but she was hit in the head with a frying pan, which knocked her out.

"Oops, I think I hit her too hard." Leni said as she was the one who had the frying pan.

* * *

Luna opens her eyes and notices she's tied to a chair in the dining room. She also has tape over her mouth. The kids go to her.

"Oh good, you're awake." Lisa said. "Now I need to examine your head."

Lisa used her X-ray vision glasses. In Luna's Head, she saw some sort of virus singing the Singing Doodle song. "Just as I suspected, you're suffering from a condition known as the music virus. You see, when your cerebrum gets stuck on a catchy song you're susceptible to music virus infection. And you've got a repulsive one in there."

"So how do we get it out?" Lucy asked. "Will we have to cut open her head?"

"That won't be necessary. The only way to get rid of this virus is with another catchy tune."

"Ooh! I've got one! It's a song me and Hops heard on the internet." Lana said. She began to sing a song called "Raining Mud Pies". (The song is a parody of "It's Raining Tacos." From Parry Gripp BooneBum on YouTube)

 _"It's raining mud pies out of the sky. Mud pies, I don't care why. Just open your mouth and close your eyes. It's raining mud pies! Yummy yummy yum yum yummity yum! Feels like a dream! Yummy yummy yum yum yummity yum! Bring your whipped cream!"_

Lana finished. "Did it work?"

Lisa checked with her X-ray glasses. The virus continued to sing the Singing Doodle. "Nope. It's still there."

Leni got out her phone and played the Macarena. "This is totes one of the catchiest songs ever."

"Ooh, Good Choice Leni." Luan commented.

Luan and Leni danced along to the song.

 _"A la tuhuelpa legria macarena,_

 _Que tuhuelce paralla legria cosabuena,_

 _A la tuhuelpa legria Macarena, Eeeh Macerena!"_

The song stopped. Lisa still saw the worm in Luna's Head. Luna was humming the Doodle song. "That didn't work either. We need someone with real music talent to get rid of this thing."

The Louds thought for a moment.

"What about Luna's friend Sam?" Lincoln suggested.

"That could work." Lisa suggested.

Lincoln knew Sam's number so he called her and told her about Luna's virus problem. She came over to the Loud House as soon as she could.

"I'm glad you guys called me. Luna looks like a mess."

"Yeah, that's why we need you help." Lincoln said.

"Alright then, let's rock!" Sam got out her guitar and plugged it into her amp. She played loud music. Lisa observed Luna's mind. The virus covered its ears but it could still hear the loud rock n roll music.

"I think it's working!"

The virus came out of Luna's ear annoyed and flew off. Sam ended her guitar playing. "Goodnight Loud House!"

"The infection is gone." Lisa said.

Leni and Lori untied Luna. Luna took the tape off her mouth.

"Thanks dudes." She hugged Sam. "And you were great Sam."

"Thanks. I'm glad you're back to normal." Sam replied.

* * *

It was now evening. Sam had left the Loud house and rode her bike home.

"That was a catchy song I made today." Sam said to herself. She started to sing her guitar song. In her head, a virus formed with a guitar and the song played inside her.

"Yep. Real Catchy." She then realized she had the music virus infection.

"AAAAAAAAAH!!!!"

 **The End**


	35. Chapter 35: Flippy Land

**Here's a parody of the Spongebob episode: Krabby Land**

* * *

Today marks the first day of a new season. At the Louds, the kids were having breakfast. Lincoln had prepared eggs for them.

"I don't know how you do it Linc, but your eggs are EGGS-cellent." Luan punned.

"My egg could have been a little blacker though." Lucy said.

"Well, I learned from the best chef in the house." Lincoln said referring to their dad.

Luan then checked the calendar. "Oh. I knew it."

"What?"

"Today's the first day of summer. You know what that means?"

"We know dude." Luna said. "It's time for your annual summer tradition."

* * *

Luan went out to start her summer tradition. She wore a big flower mask and carried a basket with flower petals. She arrived at Flip's Food n Fuel to spread her summer cheer. Mr. Grouse was there buying a Flippy.

"Hey Mr. Grouse, happy first day of summer!" Luan greeted. "Care to join me for some solstice caroling?"

Luan sang and threw petals at the old man who wasn't amused.

"I'm not much of a summer person Loud." Mr. Grouse said.

Just then, Flip came out of his office. "Holy Toledo! Do my ears deceive me? Is it really the first day of summer?"

"Yeah." Luan replied.

"Yippie!" Flip did a backflip and ran to the front window.

"Gee Flip, you sure have a scorching case of summer fever." Luan said. "What is it about summertime that makes us so happy? The sound of fireworks? The BBQs? The hypnotic sound of a lawnmower running over a flip flop?"

"The money." Flip added.

"The money?"

"Er Uh, I mean the children."

"Oh."

"You see Mary Ann-"

"Luan."

"Whatever. Kids like you are excused from school for summer vacation."

"Yeah, I know what happens." Luan said. "During summer break, we wander through Royal Woods unsupervised. Our pockets full of money and we're free to spend it without any parental guidance whatsoever."

"I guess that's what I like best." Flip said. He got out a menu and changed the kids choice Flippee from 1.99 to 4.99. "Sure I suppose some would try to take advantage of this situation by selling them toys or candy, but I sleep at night with the knowledge I'm providing them with something they need, a Flippee."

Flip looked through the window. "Come here you little piggies!"

"So that's the true meaning of summer?" Luan said.

 **Later…**

Flip was still by the window waiting for children to show up. "Where are they?" He checked his watch. "It's almost closing time. How can a kid resist a Flippee? (sighs) I guess summer isn't coming this year."

He went outside and then noticed something. It was a playground across the street with younger kids playing on it. "Huh? A new playground? Luring away my customers? I gotta get a closer look at this."

Flip got in his car and drove to the playground. He took out a pair of binoculars so he could get a closer look. Luan happened to be walking by and saw Flip.

"Hey Flip, whatcha doing?"

"Shh! Look at these kids. So weak and unnourished with nobody trying to sell them nothing. It breaks my heart."

Flips starts sobbing. "NOOOOOO! I've got nothing to live for!"

"Well, you still have your own mini mart and gas station." Luan stated.

"True, but that's not gonna get these kids away from this playground...unless." He looks at Luan. "Say, you're a comedian right?"

"That's right."

"I've got a job for you. Meet me at the mini mart tomorrow. I've got a lot of work to do."

"Wait, what's the-"

Flip drives off.

"-job.."

* * *

The next day, Luan rides her unicycle to the mini mart/gas station. "Gee, I wonder what Flip's up to. Maybe he's trying to make funny money." (laughs)

Luan then looks surprised. She sees a sign that says "Flippy Land is summer fun!" There's also a line of kids at Flip's Food n Fuel. There was a place behind the mini mart which was covered in a sheet. Flip was busy preparing something under the sheet. Luan rode up to him. Flip came out.

"Luan, you're just in time for the grand unveiling of Flippy Land!"

"Flippy Land Sir?"

"Yes, Flippy Land, where a kid can have fun..for the right price."

Flip greets the first kid in line. "Welcome to Flips Food n Fuel. What's your name son?"

"Monroe." The little boy said.

"Nice to meet you Monroe." Flip picks up the kid and shakes him. He hears money in his pocket and smiles. He puts the kid down.

"Ok money, I mean children, it's time for the grand unveiling of money, I mean..Flippy Land."

The kids cheer.

"Ok kids, now promise your uncle Flip that if you get hungry you'll come inside to have a nice refreshing Flippee."

"We promise!" The kids said.

"Alright, here we go! I give you Flippy Land!" Flip removed the sheet uncovering the playground.

The kids started cheering but then looked disappointed. The so called Flippy Land didn't look as exciting as they thought it would be. All the rides and activities were made poorly. The playground looked more like a junkyard. One kid attempted to go on the slide but it fell apart.

"Where am I?"

"Uhh...that reminds me. I forgot to give you these coloring books/liability waivers." Flip mentioned holding out papers. He gave them to the kids. "Anyone who hands theirs back gets to meet the one and only Flippy the clown."

The kids cheer.

"Have fun. And don't forget to buy a Flippee. It's Flippy the clown's favorite meal."

The kids started chanting. "We want Flippy! We want Flippy!"

"Where is Flippy, Flip?" Luan asked. "It's always great another clown."

"He'll be here after I finish counting the money." Flip replied. "Just stall them. You're an entertainer after all."

"Right. I'll show these kids a good time."

Flip left. Luan turned to the kids as they all glared at her.

"Hey kids."

"You're not Flippy the clown." One boy said.

"But I am a clown. One of the funniest clowns." Luan put on a clown nose.

"We'll see about that."

"Flippy will be here soon." Luan assured. "He has to take the bus. But in the meantime, let's have some fun! You kids like balloons?"

"No." One girl replied.

"Well you've never seen my balloons before." Luan blew a balloon into the shape of a dog. "Ta da! A bubble shaped like a dog. What do you think?"

"Lame." A boy said.

The balloon popped.

"Ok, prepared to impressed." Luan blew a balloon into the shape of a unicorn. "Ta da!"

One kid popped the balloon. Luan smiled nervously.

"YOU STINK! BRING ON THE OTHER CLOWN!" The kids yelled.

"And now for a finale!" Luan tried to blow another balloon as the kids booed her. Luan kept struggling to make a balloon as the pressure got to her. Suddenly, the balloon popped on her face.

"Ahhh! I can't see!" Luan stumbled backwards and tripped over a barrel. She flew into a play pit, then flew into a tire swing and then swung into a pit full of bowling balls. The tire landed around her. "Ow.."

The kids were silent for a moment but then burst out laughing. Luan got up.

"They seem to respond to me getting hurt. They enjoy other people's misery." Luan got out a joy buzzer. "Hey kids, check this out." Luan screamed as she shocked herself with the joy buzzer. The kids cheered harder.

"I've got them right where I want them."

* * *

Luan continued to entertain the children by bringing more misery onto herself. She sat on a cactus plant. She ate spicy hot peppers which caused her to breathe fire. She paid a female boxer to give her an atomic wedgie. She was shot out of a cannon and into a brick wall. She got tied to a pole and was forced to eat lima beans. The female boxer called another female boxer and they used Luan as a punching bag. Luan was then thrown into a mud puddle. The kids cheered at everything that was happening to Luan as her torture goes on.

* * *

In Flip's office, Flip had just got done counting the money he earned. Luan came in looking bruised. She had a black eye and an arm cast. Her shirt was torn and half of her ponytail was ripped off.

"Flip, I can't take much more of this stalling stuff."

"Always thinking about yourself." Flip replied. "Get out there and stall!

Luan heard her spine crack. Flip heard it too.

"On second thought..nevermind. I've finished counting the money anyway. You can tell them Flippy is here."

"Really? He's here? Oh boy!"

Luan went back outside where the kids were. "Listen everybody, Flippy the clown is in the building!"

The kids cheered.

"Who do you want?"

"Flippy!"

"When do you want him?"

"Now!"

The kids went inside the mini mart chanting Flippy. Flip came out.

"Hey kids, are you ready to meet Flippy the clown?"

"YEAH!"

"Alright. Here you go." Flip turned around and put on a clown nose and tie. He turned back to the kids. "Hey kids, thank you all for coming. Thank you. Drink plenty of Flippees. Bye."

Flip went back into his office. The kids had their mouths wide open, clearly disappointed. Flip took off his tie.

"Ah Flip, You've done it again."

"I'll say you have." Luan said sadly. "How could you? You promised those kids Flippy the clown, but all I saw out there was...Cheapy the Cheapskate."

"Well, you're right." Flip agreed. "I am cheap. This isn't even a clown nose. It's a tomato." He threw it away.

"But what about the true meaning of summer?" Luan said. "What about the children?"

"The children? I don't care about the children. I just care about their parents money." Flip opened a secret entrance that lead outside. "The fact that their feeble minds are easily manipulated by cheap playgrounds and talentless clowns is no skin off my nose. Survival of the fittest Luan. Survival of the fittest."

"Ahem!" Flip turned around and saw the angry kids behind him.

"Oh hey kids, um..Uncle Flip has to go to the bank now."

"Get him!" A boy yelled. The kids attacked the manager as Luan sadly got herself a Flippee. "I guess I'll never know the true meaning of summer. I thought I knew it once but that was...this morning."

Just then, a girl came in. "Come outside Ms. Luan, it's a summer miracle!"

Luan went outside and saw the kids all happy. Money was raining down and the kids collected them.

"Wow. Thousands of dollars fluttering in the breeze." Luan said happily. "I guess that's the true meaning of summer."

On the roof, there was a guy throwing down money from the bag Flip once had.

"But I wonder where Flip is?"

We see Flip being tied to a pole by one of the female boxers. "Let me go! I gotta get some of that green stuff!"

The boxer held out a can of Lima beans.

"Not that green stuff!"

The other female boxer came with a truckload of Lima beans, ready to give Flip his torture.

NOOOOOO!!"

 **The End**


	36. Chapter 36: A Shark Tale

**A parody of the Spongebob episode: Clams. This has been requested by a few people so now here it is. Enjoy.**

* * *

It's a typical day at the Loud House. The Loud kids are watching a Spanish reality tv show, in which the cast were speaking Spanish.

"You know, I can't understand a word these guys are saying." Lynn said.

"None of us can." Lori replied.

"This show needs subtitles." Lola added.

Just then, Lynn Sr. came home and he was all excited about something. He threw confetti in the air. The rest of the family just stared at him. He went over to Rita and kissed her. He took out some paper and wiped it on his butt.

"Uh, what's wrong with Dad?" Lana asked.

"Nothing honey." He replied as he faced his family. "Do you know what this is?"

"A very dirty piece of paper?" Lori said.

"No. This is my one hundredth paycheck! When I got my job at Aloha Comrade, I set a goal to earn one hundred paychecks. And I finally got my hundred one today!"

"Wow. Congratulations Dad." Lincoln said.

"I'm so proud of you dear." Rita said.

"Well, I couldn't have done it without you guys." Lynn Sr. admitted. "If it wasn't for your encouragement, I wouldn't have made it this far. I mean a family like us comes around like once in a lifetime. And for helping me earn my hundredth paycheck, I'm rewarding you guys with a family trip!"

"YAY!" The family cheered.

"Thanks Dad!" Lincoln said.

"This is literally exciting!" Lori said. "Where are we going Dad? Fancy Springs?"

"No."

"Pamper Island?" Luna guessed.

"Try again."

"Ooh! I bet it's the Royal Woods Old Culture Village." Lisa predicted.

"Better than that."

We cut to the Loud family on a boat, wearing fisherman coats and holding fishing poles. Some of them look disappointed.

"Fishing?" Lori said disappointed. "This is the thanks we get for supporting you? Fishing for stinky fish in a stinky old boat on a stinky lagoon?"

"Yeah, you call this fun?" Lola said, disappointed as well.

"Aw come on guys, don't be like that." Lynn Sr. said. "A family at sea with nothing to do but throw their lines in the water, catch a few fish, and then throw them back. Don't you think that's fun?"

"...No." Lisa simply replied.

Some of the family went to sit down on the chairs.

"And to think I could be wearing a powdered wig right now." Lisa said.

"How could this be better than Fresh Springs?" Lori questioned.

"Or Pamper Island?" Luna added.

Lana came up to Lori. "Hey sis, want me to cast here so you can watch me?"

"How about you cast over there so I can ignore you." Lori replied pointing somewhere else.

"Ok." Lana went to the front of the boat to start her fishing with Lincoln and Lynn. She casted her line but it swung back and the hook got caught in Lori's chair as Lori was reading a magazine. Lana took Lori's chair and Lori fell off.

"Lana! Watch where you're swinging that thing!" Lori scolded.

The line hooked onto Lori's shorts and took them off, revealing her undies.

"Lana! Be careful with-" The hook caught onto Lori's hair. A chunk of her hair was torn off causing Lori to scream out in pain. Lori went back her Dad, who was sailing the boat.

"Ok, I wanna go home." Lori said trying back to hold back tears.

Her Dad saw the chunk of hair Lori was missing.

"What happened to you?"

"Lana happened."

Lynn Sr. smiled. "Lori, you've gotta to lighten up. Sure the kid's a bit over eager, but you've gotta learn to roll with the punches, go with the flow, and don't bring anything on a boat that you aren't prepared to lose."

As Lynn Sr. said this, Lana was accidentally throwing things into the water with her fishing hook. She eventually got got her hook caught on Lynn Sr's paycheck which was taped to the back of his pants. He noticed this.

"My paycheck!"

Lana ripped it off, revealing his undies.

"Lana wait!"

But Lana had already tossed it into the water.

"Lana, you've hooked my paycheck on the back swing! Reel it in!"

Suddenly, Lynn Sr. heard music suspenseful playing. "Oh no. Lana, hurry up and reel it in! Can't you hear the music? That's a 4/4 string ostinato in D minor. Every sailor knows it means death! Reel it in before it's too late!"

Lana starts to reel it in.

"Quicker Lana! The music's getting faster!"

Lynn Sr. opens the doors that show a real life orchestra performing music.

"There you are ya stinkin bilge rats! Stop playing that music! Stop it! Please, I'm begging you!"

It seemed like they couldn't hear him, or they were ignoring him. The rest of the family saw the bad situation as Lana was reeling in the paycheck.

"Come on honey, you can make it!" Lynn Sr. yelled. "Swim to me baby! Come on! Come on! Hurry Lana!"

"Here she comes." Lana said. She then finally got it out of the water. "She made it!"

Lynn Sr. cheered in victory and took back his paycheck. "For a second or two I thought she was a goner."

Just then, a shark jumped over the boat and caught Lynn Sr's paycheck in its mouth before going back into the ocean. Lynn Sr. was shocked. The shark swam away. Lynn Sr. formed tears and broke down crying. The rest of the family walked over to him.

"..So some trip huh Dad." Lori commented.

"Oh you guys, you're not gonna believe this! A giant shark ate my hundredth paycheck and I'll never get it back!"

Lynn Sr. continued to bawl.

"Poor Dad." Leni said. "I've never seen him so upset."

Lynn Sr. cried a stream of tears.

"Oh please. He's such a drama queen." Lola said.

He continues crying.

"Dad, it's just a paycheck." Lori said.

He continues crying.

"Come on man, suck it up!" Lynn said.

He continues crying.

"Dad-" Luan said.

He continues crying.

"Dad, you're flooding the boat." Lucy said.

He continues crying.

"Ok honey, ok! We're help you get your paycheck back." Rita stated.

Lynn Sr. sucked his thumb then stopped. "You will? Great!" He pulls a drain and all his tears go down. "Wait right here."

He leaves and comes back wearing fishing gear. He also has a fishing pole, a net, and a harpoon gun.

"Here's where fishing gets serious."

* * *

Soon, the Louds were ready to hunt for the shark. Lynn Sr. was at the top of the boat.

"Ok, you guys man the fishing poles and I'll keep a lookout for Ol Sharkbite." Lynn Sr. instructed.

"Aye aye captain." Lana replied.

"And remember, we don't leave until we catch that shark and rescue my paycheck." Lynn Sr. began to look out for the great white shark.

 **3 days later**

Lynn Sr. was still on the lookout, but he now had a beard and was looking quite dirty. The rest of the family were tired. Lincoln also had a little beard. He ripped it off.

"Ow! That's it!" Lincoln said. "We've been out here for three days and haven't gotten anything to eat! This is hopeless!"

"Yeah, and we've gotta go home to feed the pets." Lana added.

At home, the pets had helped themselves to the food in the fridge. We cut back to the Louds.

"We're literally gonna die out here just because a shark took Dad's stupid paycheck." Lori complained.

"Well, if he wants it back I say we give it to him." Rita said with a sly grin as she takes out a paycheck from her purse. "Know what I mean?"

"Oh, good thinkin Mom." Lola said.

* * *

Lynn Sr. was still on the top of the boat on lookout duty.

"Oh Dad!" Lana called.

"Look what we've got!" The family called.

Lynn Sr. gasps. He comes down. "Could it be? My hundredth paycheck?"

He gets excited and starts doing his happy dance. The others join in, thinking they fooled him. Lynn Sr. then wipes his butt with the paycheck but he stops when he realizes something.

"Wait a minute. This isn't my hundredth paycheck."

The others look at each other.

"This is an ordinary paycheck that's been crumbled up, torn slightly, soaked in the lagoon and kissed with crimson red number two semi gloss lipstick."

Leni was holding red lipstick that she used on her lips. "Actually it's crimson red number-"

Lori slapped her in the back of the head.

"I trusted you and you gave me this!" Lynn Sr. said unhappy. "I can't believe my own family would betray me like this!"

He started sobbing again.

"No. We won't be swayed by yours tears anymore." Lola said.

He stopped. "I see. Well, I guess I have no choice but to offer a reward."

"Huh?" Lincoln said confused.

"Yay! Is it a trip to the mall?" Leni wondered.

"Nope. It's this sandwich." Lynn Sr. takes out a sandwich and nails it to a pole.

"A sandwich?" Lori said. "You expect me to bend over backwards for a sandwich?"

"Not just a sandwich." Lynn Sr. takes a plate of sandwiches and throws them in the lagoon. "These sandwiches too."

"Whatever. We've got plenty more to-"

Lynn Sr. smiles threateningly as he holds the entire fridge and drops it into the ocean.

"-eat."

"Now I think we understand each other. Nobody eats until we get my one hundredth paycheck back!"

"Guys, can I have a word with you?" Lori and the others go to the back. "Ok, it's clear that Dad has gone COMPLETELY INSANE!"

"No kidding." Lynn said.

"You could say he's gone overboard." Luan joked. "But seriously, just look at him."

Lynn Sr. was seen crying next to a tombstone that says "R.I.P My hundredth paycheck."

"But guys, he's lost something near and dear to him." Leni said. "Haven't you ever-"

"Look again." Lori said.

Lynn Sr. ripped his shirt off and started eating it.

"OMG. You're right." Leni said worried.

"How do we get outta here?" Lana asked.

"Maybe if we're real quiet, we can sneak over to the lifeboat." Lincoln suggested.

The others agreed. They began to sneak over but they ran screaming at the top of their lungs instead. They all jumped into the lifeboat but Lynn Sr had caught them and managed to tie them all up.

"So you thought you'd skip out on your old man?" Lynn Sr. said. "Even after you promised to help me. I know what you're thinking. It's just a dumb old paycheck. Let's leave the old man, he won't notice."

Lynn Sr. sobbed. The family looked at each other with worried looks.

"Well it's not gonna go down like that." Lynn Sr. stated. "There's only one use for a backstabbing crew like you!"

* * *

"Live bait." Lynn Sr. had tied his family to a big piece of plank. They were dangling in the air.

"You're crazy!" Lola yelled. "If that shark didn't come before, what makes you think he'll come now."

Lynn Sr. was now dressed in an orchestra suit. "Oh, he'll come."

The doors open to reveal the orchestra from earlier playing their music. Lynn Sr. was conducting them and used them to attract the shark. The others screamed in terror.

"Honey, I can't believe you're doing this!" Rita shouted. "You have completely out of your mind!"

Lynn Sr. laughed crazily. The shark rose above water and started swimming towards the tied up family members.

"Get us outta here!" Lori yelled.

"Come on Sharkbite! Fresh meat over here!" Lynn Sr. called.

The tied up family members swung and shook, trying to escape their doom.

"Keep thrashing! He likes it!"

The shark came closer.

"Come on Boy! Closer! Almost there!"

The shark opens his mouth and the paycheck is seen on his tongue.

"That's it!" Lynn Sr. closes the doors. The shark freezes in midair just as he is about to devour the family. Lynn Sr. jumps in the shark's mouth and takes back the paycheck. "Aha! Woohoo! I finally got it! I got my one hundredth paycheck!"

The orchestra doors open again and the shark closes its mouth and goes back underwater. The orchestra band has finished performing. The doors close. There was a moment of silence until Lily broke it.

"Da da?" She said concerned.

"Da da is gone Lily." Rita said sadly.

"Gone out of our lives forever." Lincoln said. "...Why couldn't it have been us?!"

The family began crying their hearts out.

"Yeah, Poor Dad!" Lana cried.

"Who will laugh at my terrible jokes now?" Luan questioned sadly.

"He was always number one." Lynn cried.

"He was a rockin Dad." Luna said sadly.

Lucy just silently sobbed.

"Hold me Lori!" Leni cried.

"I wish I could but I can't move my arms." Lori reminded her sadly.

"I don't express inane human emotions very much but this is the most appropriate time to." Lisa sobbed.

"I loved you the most!" Lola cried.

Just then, they heard Lynn Sr. "Hey family!"

They looked down and saw him. Only his head was seen. "Dad!"

"Have you guys met my hundredth paycheck?" He showed his paycheck to them.

"Wow. How'd you get it back?" Lana asked.

"It wasn't easy. Ol Sharkbite is quite the fighter, so eventually we settled on a trade."

"What did you give him?" Rita asked.

Lynn Sr. jumped onto the plank, revealing that he was only in his underwear. "Nothing important." Lynn Sr. laughed, though the rest of the family was left surprised.

* * *

 **Epilogue**

The Louds were now sailing home. Lynn Sr. had on some spare fisherman clothes as he sailed the ship. The rest of the family were on top of the ship with him.

"Hey, listen guys." Lynn Sr. said. "I wanna apologize for what I did to all of you. I can't believe I put you danger just to get this stupid paycheck."

"It's ok Dad." Lincoln said. "We're glad you weren't going to let that shark eat us though."

"And if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have gotten to see a shark up that close." Lana stated.

"Yeah, that was awesome!" Lynn stated. "I can't wait to tell my friends my dad jumped in a shark's mouth."

"I guess this fishing trip wasn't so bad after all." Lola admitted.

"And were just glad you're ok honey." Rita hugged him. The others hugged him too.

"But seriously, if I ever get my hundredth paycheck I'm gonna take us all to Fancy Springs." Lori said. "And I'll bring Bobby Boo Boo bear."

 **The End**


	37. Chapter 37: Raccoon Party

**Happy New Year! And here's a chapter to start off the new year. This is the Loud House version of the Spongebob episode: Jellyfish Jam**

* * *

Somewhere in the forest, we see some animals. Two squirrels, a few bunnies, and a deer having lunch together. In a mud puddle, someone rises up out of the mud. The other animals see this. They fear that this creature is some kind of mud monster so they run away in fear. The creature shakes the mud off and it reveals to be the mud loving tomboy Lana.

"Man, that was a nice mud bath."

Another creature comes out of the mud. It shakes the mud off and it reveals to be a raccoon.

"Did you enjoy the mud little guy?" Lana asked.

The raccoon nodded.

"Well, I had a relaxing time with you. See ya later."

Lana leaves but is unaware that she doesn't have her hat on. The raccoon brings it to her.

"Oh. My hat. Thanks little guy. Bye." Lana puts it on and continues walking off. The raccoon continues to follow her. Lana notices. "Mr. Raccoon, I can't play anymore. I have to go home. You have to stay here."

Lana walks off but the raccoon keeps following her.

"Raccoon, You've got to stay here." The raccoon clings onto her leg. "No. Stay here."

Lana puts the raccoon on a log. "Now stay."

Lana walks off and the raccoon once again follows her. He runs around her. Lana looks annoyed but she grabs the raccoon and flings it away with a slingshot. Lana walks off again but the raccoon is seen on her back. It laughs but Lana hears it. She takes him off her.

"Raccoon, for the last time, you can't come home with me!" Lana said frustrated.

The raccoon gives her the sad eyes. Lana couldn't resist.

"Oh, what the heck."

* * *

Lana decided to bring the little raccoon home with her. She put it on a leash. They walked by their neighborhood and stopped by Mr. Grouse's house.

"Hey Mr. Grouse!" Lana called. "Mr. Grouse!"

Mr. Grouse came outside.

"Hey Mr. Grouse!" Lana said. "Check out my new pet!"

"That's not a pet." Mr. Grouse replied. "That's a wild animal."

"No he isn't. Watch this! Fetch!" Lana threw a stick and the raccoon went to fetch it and bring it back to Lana.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Lana held up three fingers. The raccoon counted to three.

"Play dead." The raccoon was buried with a grave next to him.

"I wouldn't keep that thing even if it was potty trained." Mr. Grouse commented.

The raccoon is seen using a toilet while reading a newspaper.

"I didn't need to see that."

"Well, we're going to my house to have a little fun." Lana said before heading back to her house with the raccoon.

"How can you possibly have fun with a raccoon?" Mr. Grouse wondered.

At the Loud House, Lana and her raccoon friend were jamming out to loud techno rave music which was heard from two big speakers. The music playing is similar to the song "Are you ready for this" by Jock Jaws. They showed off some impressive dance moves. You could see the background changing colors and styles. The loud music is heard outside. Soon, it's nighttime and the music is still playing. In Grouse's House, we see his house shaking. Grouse is irritated as he cannot sleep because of the music playing.

"Lana is the only person I know who can have fun with a raccoon...FOR TWELVE HOURS!"

Back at the Loud House, the two friends continue dancing. Rita in her robe comes over.

"Lana? Lana?" Her mom tries to get her attention but Lana can't hear her. "Lana!!"

Lana sees her mom. "Oh hi Mom."

"Lana sweetie, it's time for bed."

"Ok." Lana said. She stopped dancing and looked at the raccoon who was still dancing. "Boy, you sure like to dance. Well that's enough for tonight."

She turned off the stereo. "It's time to go to bed."

She began to head upstairs but the raccoon turned the music back on.

"Huh?" Lana turned off the music. "You've got it all wrong little fella."

The raccoon turned the music back on again. Lana turned it off again. "We're going to bed now. Understand? Bed."

Lana put the leash on the raccoon and dragged it upstairs to her and Lola's room. Lana had put on her PJs. Lola was in bed reading a book and saw her twin.

"Finally, your little party is over." She removed her earplugs. "Why is that thing still here?"

"He's staying here." Lana mentioned.

"What? That's a wild animal! He doesn't belong here."

Lana lets the raccoon on her bed. "Quit worrying Lola. He'll be just fine."

"Whatever you say."

"Goodnight everyone." Lana said before she going to bed.

* * *

Later that night, another raccoon comes to the house. Lana's raccoon suddenly wakes up and senses the call of the other raccoon. He goes to the living room and opens the front door. He is happy to see his raccoon friend as they communicate using their raccoon language. The other raccoon shows a line of other raccoons in front of the Loud House. Lana's raccoon invites them all inside.

* * *

It's morning. Lana wakes up and yawns. "Good morning raccoon."

She doesn't him. "Raccoon? Raccoon?"

She looks under her bed but he's not there. "Little buddy? Lola, have you seen my raccoon friend?"

Lola mumbles in her sleep. "Twenty more minutes Mom."

Lana decided to check downstairs. "Hey raccoon."

She then sees other raccoons dancing to the loud techno music. "Where'd you all come from?"

The raccoons form a line and pick up Lana. She rides down the line of raccoons.

"Ok, that's it! Party's over!" Lana said. "You guys have overstayed your welcome! This music is way too loud."

She tried to turn off the stereo but the raccoons prevented her from doing so. They formed a line of steps where Lana went up and down. "Guys, put me down! I'm serious!"

Her words fell on deaf ears. The other Loud members heard the loud music. They went downstairs and were surprised to see a bunch of raccoons in their house.

"Lana! Why are all these raccoons here?" Lynn Sr. Asked.

"I didn't invite them in." Lana protested.

Outside, the music was booming as the house was shaking. Inside Mr. Grouse's house, his house was shaking. Mr. Grouse was annoyed to no end. He fell out of bed.

"Eighteen hours?! That's it! I'm gonna give that Loud family a piece of my mind!"

At the Louds, some of the siblings were riding on the crowd of raccoons. The phone rang and a raccoon answered it.

"Listen up Loud!" Mr. Grouse yelled. "I'm had it up to here with your-"

The raccoon hissed at the into the phone and hung up. Mr. Grouse was left confused but then he opened his front window. "Two can play at this!" He gets out his bagpipes. "I never thought I would actually have to use this."

He starts playing his bagpipes. Back at the Louds, Lana was trying to get the raccoons to end their party. "Come on guys, enough is enough!"

Then they heard the terrible bagpipes music. They raccoons were not amused by this and started to go wild on the Louds.

"Ow! Hey!" Lincoln yelled when a raccoon bit him. "Lana, control your friends!"

"What do you think I'm trying to do? Ow!" A raccoon bite Lana on the ear. "Ok! Ok! I'll talk to him!"

Lana went outside and called Grouse. "Hey Mr. Grouse, would it be possible to play your bagpipes a little..better? I don't think the raccoons like it!"

"The raccoons don't like it eh?" Mr. Grouse smiled mischievously. "Why sure neighbor, I can play better!"

"Ok!" Lana went back inside and confronted the raccoons. "He said he'll play better."

Mr. Grouse got out his large speakers and connected his bagpipes to them. He played his bagpipes terribly again but this time it was louder.

"Uh oh! That's not better!"

The raccoons went wild again and began to trash the house.

"Take cover!" Lynn Sr. yelled. The rest of the family ran into the kitchen. The raccoons ran over to Mr. Grouse's house. They went through his open window.

"Uh, I can turn it down." Mr. Grouse said nervously.

The raccoons attacked him. Back at the Louds, there was a knock. Lana answered the door and the raccoons went back inside. The old man walked over to the house and he had scratches and bruises.

"Everybody's a critic. You won't be hearing from me anymore." He gave Lana his bagpipes and left.

"Hey, that wasn't nice." Lana scolded the raccoons. One of them took the bagpipes from her. Another one ripped of a pipe and used it for a bonfire in which the raccoons danced around. Lana was now furious.

"That's it! Everybody OUT!!!"

Lana grabbed the stereo and ran outside with it. The raccoons ran after her and grabbed the stereo, pulling Lana inside. With all the raccoons strength combined, Lana couldn't hold on much more.

"Guys, help me!" Lana called her family. They peeked from the kitchen and saw this. They look determined.

"We're coming Lana!" Lincoln said.

The rest of the Louds held onto each person as a tug of war happened between them and the raccoons. Finally, they both lost their grips on the stereo, causing it to fall to the ground and break into pieces. Lana gulped, realizing they messed up. The raccoons weren't happy about this at all and furiously growled at the family with foam coming out of their mouths. The Louds ran for their lives as the raccoons began attacking them.

"Come on guys!" Lynn Sr. led the family to a secret opening that lead up to the roof. When every family member made it on the roof he closed the door. Below them the raccoons came out through the doors and windows. They all stood in front of the house glaring and growling at the family.

"Lola, you and Mr. Grouse were right." Lana said scared. "Raccoons are wild animals. Thanks for not rubbing it in."

"Well, I was gonna rub it in." Lola admitted.

The family look terrified. Hops suddenly came out of Lana's pocket. He saw all the angry raccoons and got an idea. He started making frog sounds. He made a beat. The raccoons heard this and began dancing.

"Huh? They stopped." Lana covered Hops mouth. The raccoons became angry again. Lana let go and Hops performed again. The raccoons danced again. Lana stopped Hops. Angry raccoons. Lana let go. Happy raccoons.

"Hops, don't stop ribbiting." Lana ordered. "Guys, I have an idea but I'm gonna need all of your help."

"You got it Lans." Luna said.

The family headed outside. Hops was on Lana's head. Lana led them as the raccoons followed them. They were attracted to Hops music. As they walked downtown, Lana signaled her family members to join in to make more music. Luan blew bubbles from her gag flower. Lily shook her rattle. Lynn made armpit sounds. Luna played a keyboard. Leni and Lori sang. Some raccoons tied their tails together to make string music. Etc. Everyone was making music. Lana and her family led the raccoons back into the forest. The raccoons now learned to make their own music.

"Our job here is done guys." Lana said. "Let's go home."

* * *

The Louds were walking home.

"I'm so glad that's over." Rita said.

"Yeah." Lana agreed. "And I learned a lesson."

"Is it to never keep a raccoon as a pet?" Lola asked.

"Well, that too. But the other lesson I learned is that wild animals can throw pretty wild parties."

Just then, Mr. Grouse walked by with pink bandages on his face. Everyone stared at him.

"What's the matter Louds? You've never seen a guy with Princess Pony bandages before?"

 **The End**


	38. Chapter 38: Lena's Army

**Here's a parody that some people have requested. It's a parody of the episode: Plankton's Army. I'd like to give credit to DarthFlores for coming up with the OC Lena and her family. Those characters belong to him.**

* * *

"Attention Loud siblings, report downstairs immediately!" Lisa announced. All the other siblings went downstairs.

"What's up Lis?" Lincoln asked.

"This better be important." Lola said.

"Oh, it's very important." Lisa replied. "Today's the one year anniversary of the first time my arch enemy Lena Shroud, tried to steal my greatest invention."

We cut to flashbacks of Lena attempting to get Lisa's invention.

"Can I have your greatest invention?" Lena asked.

"No." Lisa replied.

"Pretty please."

"Nuh Uh."

Next, she disguised herself as Cliff the cat and snuck in through the back door. However, Charles was there and was not fooled by the disguise. He attacked Lena. Next, Lena used a science potion to transform into something else. She turned into a cat and Charles mauled her again. Then, she snuck in holding a sign that said "I'm not a cat." But Charles attacked her anyway.

We go back to the present time.

"And as you can see, Lena has always failed." Lisa explained.

"Fascinating." Lola said flatly.

"But so many failures have made her crafty, so keep so your eyes open." Lisa looks around. "You'll never know what trick she'll use to steal my greatest invention."

Then the doorbell rang. Lisa answered the door. "Uh, can I help you sir?"

Lisa saw a robot disguised as a mailman so she got suspicious.

"I have a delivery for Lisa Loud." The robot said.

"But I didn't order anything."

"Oh. Did I say delivery? I meant it's a gift from the Royal Woods Science Museum."

"Well...if it's from the science museum, I'll take accept it."

The robot gave her the box and left. "Have a nice day."

"Hmm, I was sure that was one of Lena's tricks. Oh well, at least I get a gift."

Suddenly the box opened and Lena popped out of it. "Aha!"

"Lena! You knew I would never distrust a gift from the science museum."

"That's right Lisa! Now hand over your greatest invention!"

"...Or what?"

Lena paused. "I don't know. I never thought I'd get this far."

"Well then, allow me to suggest your next move." Lisa whistled and Charles came over. "Sick her boy."

Charles chased Lena down the neighborhood.

"Curse you Loud!!"

* * *

Lena had been thrown in a dumpster by Charles. She escaped though, looking quite dirty.

"That darn Lisa! Next time I'll...ah, who am I kidding? At least I can go home to a family who understands."

Lena started walking home sadly. She arrived home. Her older brother Max and her older sister Alison were on the couch watching tv and then they noticed her.

"So how did it go?" Her sister asked, expecting the news.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Lena replied and sat down on the floor.

"Talking about it will make you feel better."

"Leave me alone."

"That's your problem. You never let anyone in. Lena the rock, Lena the loner."

"And she's off ladies and gentlemen." Lena said the the viewers as Alison continued talking.

"And that's why everything you try happens like this." Alison took out her phone and showed a video of Lena in a robot suit getting mauled by Charles. "And like this." A video of Lena using a fish hook and then getting pummeled by Charles.

"And more recently, like this." Max shows a video on his phone of Lena getting thrown in the dumpster. All these unsuccessful moments cause Lena to cry.

"I'm a failure!"

"It's not that bad." Alison assured. "You just require a little help. Maybe some henchmen."

"Henchmen?"

"Yes, what you need to do is surround yourself with muscular tough guys who'll do whatever you say."

"I like the sound of that. I'll canvas all the seediest lowbrow dives in town. And I know how to speak their language."

* * *

At a dim club, we see tough muscular guys playing pool. Lena enters the scene.

"Félicitations malefactors!" Lena said. "I am endeavoring to misappropriate the formulary for the preparation of affordable comestibles! Who will join me?"

We cut back to the Shroud house and see that Lena had gotten a wedgie. "I don't get it. No matter what I try I always get abused by someone stronger than me."

"Oh, I think you're overreacting." Alison said.

"Yeah, cheer up runt." Max slapped Lena on the back, making her fall over. Alison glared at him. "Heh, sorry."

"That's ok." Lena said getting back up. "I'm no different than the other kindergartens I know. We've always been pushed around." Then Lena gets an idea. "Wait. That's it. Acting alone we're powerless, but united the kindergartens could be a real pain in the fanny!"

Lena goes to a phone book and finds the numbers of all the Royal Woods kindergartens. "Lisa thinks that one kindergarten is no problem. But let's see her take on two, or ten, or a hundred!"

Lena gets to work on contacting all the little kids. She calls their numbers and sends text messages. She even uses a mini airplane to send the message "Calling all toddlers" in the sky.

"I'll gather up all the toddlers I can get. Lisa won't stand a chance against our combined intelligence." The doorbell rings. "They're here!" She answers the door and sees a bunch of toddlers. "Welcome my fellow specimens."

"Hey, look everyone." Said one kid. "It's Lena Shrewd."

"It's Shroud." Lena corrected.

"Oh. It's Lena Loud." Another kid said.

"No, it's Shroud."

"Proud?" Said another kid.

"Shroud! With an S!"

"...Schroeder?" Said one kid.

Lena facepalms. "Ah, forget it! Anyway, come inside and make yourselves at home."

The young kids enter the house. Alison is in the living room.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet my sister Alison." Lena said.

"Gosh, she sure is pretty." One kid said.

Alison blushed. "Oh, well thank you."

One little girl saw Lena's certificate from the Science Institute. It revealed Lena's full name.

"Hey Lena, can I call you Shelby?" The girl asked.

"How did you find out my middle name?" Lena asked surprised. The girl pointed at the certificate.

"Wait, your middle name is Shelby?" Another kid said and started laughing. Lena looked annoyed.

"Will you please?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." The kid stopped laughing.

"Alright, as I was saying-"

The boy started laughing again.

"Ok, we all know Shelby's a funny name."

The kid stopped. "Ok, I'm done. No more."

"Good." Lena clears her throat and begins to discuss with the kindergartens. However, her sister Alison gets out a tablet and shows Lena's middle name to the toddlers while Lena's back is turned.

"To continue, only you can bring honor-"

The toddlers laugh. Lena turns around but Alison pulls the tablet away and smiles innocently. Lena turns to the kids.

"And dignity-"

Alison shows Lena's middle name to the kids again but this time there's a finger pointing at Lena. The kids laugh at this. Lena turns around but Alison hides the tablet. Lena turns to the kids.

"Back to the kindergartens of Royal Woods-"

Alison shows Lena's middle name with changing colors and an arrow pointing. The kids laugh again. Lena turns around quicker but Alison quickly hides the tablet again. Lena turns to the kids looking irritated.

"For a year, it has been my goal to acquire the secret invention for-" Alison once again shows Lena's middle name. This time in a bigger text and stars. The kids laugh once again but this time Lena is able to catch her sister in her act. "Aha!"

Alison laughs.

"Ok! That's enough!" Lena pushes her older sister out of the living room as her sister laughs.

Lena goes back to the kindergartens. "Bottom line. We invade the Loud House and get back my secret invention...that Lisa Loud stole. Whaddya say?"

Lena obviously made up the part about Lisa stealing an invention.

"Lisa stole from you?" Darcy asked, as she was one of the kindergartens. "That's mean!"

"Yep. She was jealous of me." Lena fibbed.

"But what's in it for us?" One kid asked.

"Yeah!" The other kids agreed.

"Well, What do you want?" Lena asked.

"How about new laces for my shoe?" One kid said showing one of his shoes didn't have laces.

"And another bow for my hair." One girl said showing her hair had lots of bows in it.

"And a new charger for my phone." One boy said showing his phone.

"And what about ice cream?" Another boy said.

"ICE CREAM?!!!" The made all the toddlers excited.

"Help me get back my invention and you can have all the ice cream you want!" Lena declared.

The kids cheered loudly. Lena smiled evilly. "Victory thy name is Lena Shroud!"

Lena turned towards the kids and was unaware that there was a piece of paper on her back with her middle name written on it.

* * *

Back at the Loud House, the siblings are all watching TV in the living room.

"Well siblings, I haven't my diabolical arch rival for hours now." Lisa stated. "I think she's finally given up for-"

"Attention Loud family! This is your better speaking!" Lena was outside talking into a megaphone. "I have your property surrounded! Give me the greatest invention or I'll destroy your home!"

Lisa opened the door. Her siblings came over to. "Hah! You and what army Shroud?"

"I'm glad you asked." Lena whistled and the kindergartens showed up. Some of them came out of the tree in the front yard.

"What now Loud?"

"Uh oh." Lisa said worried. The siblings ran inside the house screaming and Lena's army charged after them. They managed to tie up the siblings with rope. Now they were all in the Lisa and Lily's room.

"You'll never get away with it Lena!" Lisa said.

"You're right." Lena said. "We could've used something stronger. Like chains. Besides, what I really want is that secret invention."

"Well you might as well forget it. That invention is locked away in my closet which requires a password. And I'll never tell it to you!"

"Silence!" Lena zapped Lisa with a laser. "I think I'm more than capable enough of figuring it out myself."

She went to the closet but noticed the lock was out of her reach. "Can I get a little help over here?"

One tall kid lifted her up so she could reach. Lena typed in the word "poo poo."

"Access granted." The screen voice was heard.

"Dang it." Lisa said.

The closet opened up. Inside, there was a box glowing, which must have contained the invention.

"Jackpot!" Lena said. She pushed the box out. "It's mine! It's mine! After a whole year, it's finally mine! Let it be known that on this day, I, Lena Shroud have single handedly overthrew the Loud House."

"Ahem!" Lena looked at the kindergartens who were glaring at her.

"But of course I had some help from you guys too."

"Lena, wait!" Lisa said. "You can't look inside that box!"

"Begging won't help." Lena replied.

"I'm telling you. You won't be able to handle the truth. There are things in this world that weren't meant for mortal eyes."

"I see...but I don't care. Drumroll please!"

One kid gave her a drumroll. Lena sees a lock on the box.

"Anyone got a hairpin?" One girl gave Lena a hairpin. Lena used it to open the lock.

"Lena! I'm warning you!" Lisa warned.

But Lena didn't listen. She opened the box and pull something out. It looked like some kind of bomb.

"What the heck is this?" Lena asked.

Suddenly, the bomb exploded and the disgusting smell of dirty diapers filled the air. Outside, Lena ran out screaming and went far away. The other toddlers ran out screaming as well. Except for one boy.

"Hey, why aren't you running?" Lisa asked.

"I like the smell." He replied.

"Get outta here."

The boy left the house. The siblings managed to get out of the ropes and out of Lisa's room. They coughed and gagged.

"That was nasty!" Lynn said.

"Yeah!" Lincoln agreed. "Was that actually your greatest invention?"

"Of course not. It was just a dirty diaper from Lily." Lisa said. "And a prank from Luan."

"You're welcome." Luan said.

"But Lena will probably figure that out and be back to find out what the real invention is. But don't worry guys, my greatest invention is safe from harm. I've got it hidden in my most secret hiding place. A place no one, not even Lena would figure out." Lisa smiles smugly.

"Let me guess." Lori said. "It's in your bunker outside."

Lisa was surprised. She ran outside to her bunker. "Curse you Lori!!!"

 **The End**


	39. Chapter 39: Snowball Fighters

**Now here's a parody of the episode: Snowball Effect. Requested by Boris Yeltsin**

* * *

It was the first week of winter in Royal Woods and it snowed overnight. Patchy Drizzle was outside reporting the news.

"Yes, it seems Old Man Winter has paid us a visit late last night. And he brought with him not a pillow, or a sheet, but a blanket. A blanket of snow. Schools have been closed for the day and local residents have taken notice."

At the Loud House, Lincoln in his winter clothes opens the front door. "Hooray for snow days!"

Charles comes out wearing snow boots. Kids are seen outside making snowmen and other things such as the Statue of Liberty, a dollar bill, and an igloo. Lena comes out and sees it's snowing.

"What's this? Drops of rain frozen into ice crystals? I shall harness their energy and rule the world!" She laughs evilly but a bunch of snow from the roof falls onto her.

* * *

Leni is outside making a snowman. She adds a scarf and sunglasses to it.

"Now that's what I call a fashionable snowman." Suddenly, she gets hit in the head with a snowball.

"Hey!" She turns around and sees Lincoln whistling and looking innocent. "Thanks a lot Lincoln. While you were standing there whistling, someone threw a snowball at me!"

"Oh really Leni? Did the snowball look like this?" Lincoln took out another snowball and threw it in Leni's face.

"Yeah." Leni replied. Lincoln laughs.

"Lincoln, this is serious! I think someone's after me! I gotta leave town!"

"Leni, I threw the snowball." Lincoln stated. "We're having a snowball fight. Don't you get it?"

"Oh." Leni realized. "I totes wanna play!"

"Well first, you have to make a snowball."

"Right." Leni begins to make one. "This is gonna be good."

Leni made a cube instead. She tried again but made a triangle. She tried again and made...a double helix.

"Uh Linky, can you help me make a snowball?"

"Sure sis." He made one and gave it to Leni.

"Thanks Linky." She threw it at him and he fell on his back.

"Leni, how could you?"

"It's a snowball fight, remember?"

"Oh yeah."

Now Lincoln and Leni went to war. Inside the house, Lori was relaxing by the fireplace. "Ah, yes. Warm fire, cozy slippers, and a hot cup of cocoa with a lemon wedge." The lemon juice squirted into Lori's eye and she dropped her cup of cocoa, spilling it. "Why do I even bother?"

Lori heard the sounds of construction tools. She opened the door and saw her younger siblings making snow forts. "Would you two please keep it down?"

"Lori, you're just in time to enlist in my army!" Lincoln said. "Join me and together we'll defeat the fashion menace!"

Lincoln points at Leni.

"That's me!" Leni said.

"I can start you off as a buck private." Lincoln said. "But with hard work, perhaps you can rise through the ranks and become a regular private."

"Thanks but no thanks, Major Doofus." Lori replied. "You and the General Ditz will have to fight without me."

Lori snickers. "Got em both." She sees a snowball flying at her and ducks. The snowball puts it out the fire. Lori growls in annoyance and goes back inside.

"Leni, you fool!" Lincoln yelled. "This was over before it started! I will now consider your unconditional surren-" Leni hits him with a snowball. "-der."

Leni laughs.

"So that's how she wants it to go down."

Then Lisa and Lynn come outside.

"Hey, we heard you guys were having a snowball fight." Lynn said. "We want in."

"Ok, Lynn you can be on my side." Leni said.

"Sweet." Lynn joins Leni.

"Then Lisa's on my side." Lincoln said.

"Certainly Lincoln." Lisa said joining Lincoln. "I brought out the heavy artillery." She takes out her snowball gun.

"Alright, can I use that?" Lisa hands the gun to her brother. He loads the gun. "Eat snowballs!"

Lincoln fires snowballs at Leni and Lynn. They duck. After Lincoln finishes, Leni comes back up.

"Hah! You missed us!" Lincoln fires more snowballs but this time they went into Leni's mouth. Leni ended up swallowing them all. Lincoln stopped. But just when Leni thought it was over, Lincoln reloaded the gun and fired more snowballs into Leni's mouth until her face was all bloated and her mouth was full of snowballs.

"Score one for the boys back home!" Lincoln announced.

Leni ran inside the house. She was trying to say something to Lori but her mouth was full.

"Oh Leni, what is it? Are you playing a game of charades? Um…"

Leni swallowed. "I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow but the snow turned into water and I drank all the water, now I'm better."

"Fascinating."

"Now I have to pee." Leni ran to the bathroom.

* * *

Soon, the other siblings gathered outside for the snowball fight. Lana, Luna, and Lucy joined Lincoln's team and Luan, Lola and Lily were on Leni's team. Lori came out.

"Hey, have one of you seen my-" She saw Lynn wearing her earmuffs. "Lynn, those are mine!"

Lynn threw a snowball towards Lori but Lori ducked and it put out another fire.

"Lynn! You asked for it!" Lori was about to throw a snowball at her.

"Yay! Lori's on our side!" Lana cheered.

"I most certainly am not."

"Then that means she's on our side!" Luan said.

"No, I'm not on that side either. I'm on nobody's side! Snowball fights are for immature people and I won't stoop to your level. If you guys want to knock each other's brains out, kindly leave me out of it."

Lori goes back inside. She hears Leni outside. "Come on guys, let's knock each other's brains out."

Lori imagines Lincoln getting his brain knocked out. "Now there's something I'd literally like to see." She went to the front window. But instead of fighting, she saw her siblings shaking hands. "What the-"

She went outside. "What are you guys doing? You're supposed to be knocking each other's brains out!"

"We signed a peace treaty Lori." Lincoln explained. Leni held out the peace treaty. "You were right. Fighting is immature."

"No, I mislead you. It's immature for adults. Gimme that peace treaty." Lori ripped up the paper. "There. Let the war continue."

"Lori, that wasn't the peace treaty." Lincoln said. "That was a copy of the treaty."

Lori looked unamused. "Look, you guys are giving up too easily. Now Leni, pretend I'm Lincoln."

"Then who am I?"

"..You're Leni."

"Can I be you?" Lynn asked.

"No!" Lori said. "Wait, why?"

"Cause you're the oldest.

"Would you butt out?"

"Hey, you like can't talk to Lori like that, Lori." Leni said.

"I'm Lincoln and you're Leni." Lori made a snowball and threw it at Leni. "Now What are you gonna do?"

Leni wiped the snow off and threw it back at Lori. "Leni, why didn't you hit Lincoln?"

"You said you were Lincoln, Lincoln."

"She's literally right." Lynn said doing an impression of Lori.

"Oh boy." Lori said annoyed. "I can see where this is going. Let's just say for all intents and purposes that I, Lori, am now part of this war. Now-"

"If you're part of this war, then where's your fort?" Lana asked.

"I don't have one. Ok? Now-"

"You've gotta have a fort sis." Luna said.

"Forts win wars Lori." Lincoln said.

"Fine. You wanna fort?" She builds a small one out of snow. "There. There's your fort. Now-"

"That fort's too small Lori." Lola said.

"It's ok Lola. It's just a demonstration. Now-"

"She's right eldest sibling." Lisa stated. "That wouldn't protect a specimen of your size. It's downright puny."

"Trust me, it's fine."

Leni threw a snowball at her.

"See? It is too small." Lola said.

Lori wipes the snow off. "Not if I crouch down. I mean, you didn't even give me a chance to crouch down." She crouches down. "See? Down here, I'm perfectly-"

Leni threw a snowball at her.

"Exposed." Lucy said.

"Would you please-"

Leni threw a another snowball at Lori.

"Stop throwing snowballs!"

Leni threw another one at her. Lori growled and threw a snowball. The kids ducked and the snowball hit Mr. Grouse, who was going on a walk. He fell backwards.

"Lori returned fire!" Lincoln said.

"Then it's war!" Leni said.

The siblings went make a new fort.

"No, wait! I was just giving a demonstration!" Lori said and crouched down behind her fort.

The kids threw a bunch of snowballs at Lori, covering her in snow. She looked like a snowman and even had a top hat. Angered, Lori pops out. "Alright, you guys asked for it!"

Lori threw a snowball at Lincoln.

"I got him! I really got him!" Lori said happily. "In your face Lincoln! Wow. I'm literally never felt so alive."

Lynn laughs. "She got you good Lincoln."

Then Lynn got hit with a snowball. A bunch of snowballs were thrown.

"Take cover!" The siblings ducked. Lori was throwing snowballs like a lunatic.

"Oh yeah."

"Guys, I think Lori's taking this too seriously." Leni said.

"Ya think?" Lola replied.

"I've had enough snowball fights for one day." Lucy said.

The others agreed.

"Let's move onto plan B." Lincoln and his sisters left. Lori continued throwing snowballs but then got tired.

"What's going on? The snowballs have stopped falling. I better take advantage of this momentary ceasefire." She checks her fort. "What's this? My left flank is exposed. That athletic jock will run right through me! I'll just fix that right now."

Lori adds more snow to the fort and pats it down. "Wait, that makes my north wall a weak spot." She adds more snow to her north side.

"But if they attack from the rear, I'm a goner!" She gasps. "But what about the possibility of an aerial attack?"

Lori starts digging more snow onto her fort. Soon, her fort is now tall and massive. Lori is seen hiding in her fort. "I guess that oughta do it. Fort Lori is now impenetrable." She laughs. "Now where are those twerps?"

Some snow falls onto her.

"The first shot has been fired!" Lori throws a snowball. More snow falls on her.

"Take this Leni!" She throws another snowball. More snow falls on her. She throws more snowballs. "Taste my frozen fury!"

It turns out the snow is falling from a tall tree. Lori continues throwing snowballs. "Victory is mine! I've got you now!"

Inside the Loud House, the siblings are gathered in the living room drinking hot cocoa and watching the news.

"Did you guys hear something?" Lincoln asked.

"Nope." They replied.

 **The End**


	40. Chapter 40: Black Eyed Loud

**Here's a parody of the episode: Blackened Sponge**

* * *

 _A superhero is flying through the sky looking for any signs of trouble. This hero is Ace Savvy. (AKA Lincoln Loud) He suddenly hears someone yelling for help._

 _"Help! Somebody help!"_

 _Ace Savvy saw a girl tied to railroad tracks. (Girl Jordan) Ace Savvy flew down to her rescue._

 _"Ace Savvy?"_

 _"There there, you're safe now little lady."_

 _He hears evil laughter. It was from a villain. "You fool! You've fallen into my trap! Now you're mine Ace Savvy!"_

 _This bad guy was large. He was dressed in a suit and top hat. He also had a mustache._

 _"So we meet again Crazyman." Ace Savvy recognized the guy as one of his arch enemies._

 _"Bring it on!" Crazyman said._

 _"With pleasure." Ace Savvy cracked his fingers.._

 _The villain covered his ears. "Augh! So loud!"_

 _"You ready to get crazy, huh Crazyman?!"_

 _"You bet your vanilla frosting, white haired cake."_

 _"Sorry, I'm not wearing any frosting."_

 _Crazyman brought down his fist but instead of a physical fight, the hero and villain played Rock Paper Scissors. Ace Savvy did paper and Crazyman did rock. But then Crazyman switched to scissors._

 _"Hey! That's cheating!" Ace said._

 _"Is not!"_

 _"Is too!"_

 _"Is not!"_

 _As the two continued arguing, the train was approaching._

 _"Uh Guys?" The trapped girl tried to get their attention._

 _"Anyway, your shoe's untied." Crazyman said, trying to trick the hero. Ace wasn't fooled._

 _"Is not!"_

 _"Is too."_

 _"Uh guys?" The girl said._

 _"Is not!"_

 _"Is too."_

 _"The train!!"_

 _Ace Savvy got in front of the girl. "Don't worry, I'm ready!" He ripped off his shirt revealing his muscular body. "Bring it on!"_

 _The train came closer to Ace Savvy but-_

We cut to reality. Lincoln is awoken by his alarm clock. He turns it off. "Oh, good morning Charles." Lincoln was only wearing his underwear.

Charles was sleeping on the floor with ear muffs on. "Bark."

"I kept you up all night with my nocturnal outbursts, again?"

"Woof."

"No, Tuesday night was the one with the thirty two foot principal. This night was the one where I defeated notorious arch villain Jack M Crazyman using the sheer force of my awesomely developed musculature."

Lincoln flexed his muscles and puffed out his chest. He went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He tried to get the toothpaste cap off but he wasn't strong enough. His chest deflated. He opened the mirror and found Lana's wrench. He used it to get the cap off. The cap did come and some toothpaste squirted out. The cap ricocheted all over the bathroom and then hit Lincoln in the eye. He got up and looked in the mirror. He looked fine.

"Phew! For a second there, I thought I gave myself a black-" Lincoln slipped on the toothpaste cap and hit his eye on the wrench. "-eye."

* * *

Now Lincoln has a big gross black eye. He went back to his room and buried his face in his pillow. Charles went up to him.

"Woof."

"Go away Charles. I'm busy being sad." Lincoln's voice was a bit muffled.

"Arf."

"I did something so dumb to myself that even you would laugh uncontrollably at me."

"Woof."

"You promise you won't laugh?"

"Bark."

"Ok. Here goes." Lincoln showed his bruised eye to his dog. "Charles, I gave myself a black eye trying to open the toothpaste."

Charles tried not to laugh. He did find it funny.

"Thanks for not laughing boy. I knew you'd-" Charles had left the room. "Charles?"

* * *

Lincoln got ready for school. He didn't want his family to see his black eye so he wore his Ace Savvy sunglasses. He snuck out the door wearing his backpack. But then Lynn Sr. appeared in front of him.

"Hey son."

Lincoln got startled.

"Nice sunglasses. Can I try them on?" He took them off and was surprised to see his son with a black eye. "Lincoln, your eye! It's all black and swollen. How'd you mess your eye up? Did Lynn hit you? Where is she? We'll settle this like men. We'll give her a timeout!"

"No, no. It wasn't Lynn." Lincoln said. "It was someone else. But he learned his lesson."

Lincoln was thinking about the toothpaste incident from earlier.

"Are you sure son? Who was this guy anyway?"

Lincoln thought of the villain from his dream. "Um...it was Jack M. Crazyman! You've never seen anyone like this guy Dad. He was about sixty feet tall."

"No way." His father was surprised.

"Oh yes, he was big and mean. But ol Lincoln here knows how to teach a lummox some manners." Lincoln cracked his fingers looking confident.

"What exactly did you do?"

"I handled him the same way I handle all muscle bound villains."

"By wussing out?"

"No. I used karate on him." Lincoln did a few karate moves. "He never knew what hit him."

"Well then what happened?"

"I woke up. Uh, I mean I-"

"I know exactly what you mean."

Lincoln looked nervous.

"You socked him with your eyes closed!"

"That is exactly what happened!" Lincoln fibbed. "Well I'll see you later Dad."

Lincoln walked off. His Dad watched him. "There goes a real hero."

Lincoln is walking down the sidewalk feeling proud of himself. He then sees Lynn's friend Margo. She is skateboarding and doing some tricks.

"Totally stuck that landing." She said.

"Hey Margo." Lincoln greeted.

Margo noticed Lincoln's black eye. "Oh man, look at your eye! That's quite a shiner you've got there. Well don't you worry, I know some natural remedies that'll-"

"Keep your natural remedies to yourself." Lincoln said. "Manly dudes like me don't need them. I'll have you know I got this black eye in a fight."

"A fight?" Margo said. "Well there's no shame in losing."

"Lose? Margo, I taught the guy who tangled with me a lesson he shouldn't forget."

"Why? Did he write it down?"

"No. I engraved it on his pain gland."

"Well, what dude gets in a fight with you and loses?"

"Oh, this was not just any dude. It was the notorious outlaw Jack M. Crazyman!"

Margo looked surprised. "Jack M. Crazyman?"

"It all happened late last night."

 _I was walking home from my friend Clyde's house alone when all of a sudden Crazyman sprang up out of nowhere. He hit with a giant shovel. Then he stood over me to gloat. I jumped up and karate kicked his hair piece right off of its snaps. He was so ashamed he ran home crying to his mommy. So in my moment of victory, I decided to get myself a can of soda._

"So how'd you get the black eye then?" Margo questioned.

"Huh? Oh right!"

 _I miscalculated the trajectory of my can and I jabbed myself in the eye, giving me an awful shiner._

Lincoln's watch was beeping. He checked the time.

"Well, it looks like you're gonna be late for school killer." Margo said.

"Late schmate. A tough guy like me can show up to school whenever he wants. Later."

Lincoln walked off.

* * *

At school in Mrs. Johnson's class, Mrs. Johnson was checking the time of the clock. "Well, it appears Lincoln is thirteen minutes late. Maybe he's sick or he got into a horrible accident."

Just then, Lincoln came in. She saw his black eye. "Well looks like I was right about the accident part."

Everyone saw his black eye. Lincoln walked up to Chandler and showed his black eye up close. Chandler was disgusted.

"Yeah, that's right pal, you don't want any of this."

He walked up to the new girl Stella, and Zach and showed them his black eye.

"Do you mind?" Zach said disgusted. "You're gonna make me lose my breakfast."

"That's right." Lincoln walked up to the front of the class.

"Um Lincoln, what are you-" Mrs. Johnson started to say.

"Dah dah dah dah, I'm just gonna stop you right there Mrs. Johnson. Spare you the oxygen. We all know you weaker folk can't afford to waste it." He turned his attention to the students. "Alright people, listen up cause I'm only gonna say this once! Tough guys don't like to repeat themselves. I'm talking to you fatty!"

Lincoln pointed to a fat boy who was in the classroom.

"Now you're all probably wondering how I got this black eye."

"Not really." Chandler said.

"Ok, who said that? Was it you fatty?"

The fat kid shook his head.

"It was me! I said it!" Chandler said. Lincoln hissed at him and he cringed.

"Well folks, I don't happen to see it as a shiner so much as a shining trophy of my triumph over the forces of evil. Now I know what you're thinking, who on Earth would want to tangle with a guy like Lincoln Loud? Well I'll tell ya who."

 _It was a peaceful morning in Royal Woods. I emerged from my house wearing my usual attire when a wanted cry of distress pounded against my eardrums. I quickly located the source of the cry which was a victim tied to my feet. (It was the girl who looked like Girl Jordan from his dream)_

 _"Don't worry, I'll save you!" I assured. And suddenly, a giant shuttlecock struck me in the face._

"That seems unreal Lincoln." Clyde said.

"He's got a point." Liam said.

"Hey, let's save all questions for the end." Lincoln said.

 _Anyway, the hurler was none other than Jack M. Crazyman. And I could tell by that cold sore on his lip that today he meant business. With catlike reflexes I preempted his attack. But the scoundrel had me sabotaged and I fell down in a pile of extra sticky honey. He lunged at me but I got him in the ribs with a novelty tickler toy from my sister Luan. Down he fell like a mighty oak. And there he lay. The very thought of being vanquished made Jack M. Crazyman burst into tears. The force of his crying was so strong I had to take evasive action. But one of the blasts went haywire and hit me right in the face._

"And that's how I got this black eye." Lincoln finished. "By giving Jack M. Crazyman the whomping of a lifetime. Whoo! Football!"

Everyone just stared at him.

"Uh, What did you say he looked like again?" Asked one kid.

"Oh, kinda tall. Handlebar mustache."

"Little green hat?"

"I kinda thought it was teal but that sounds like him all right...Wait a minute, how did you know he was wearing a green hat?"

Then someone enters the classroom. Everyone gasped at who it was. It was Jack M. Crazyman!

"He's real?" Lincoln said worried.

"I'm looking for Lincoln Loud." Mr. Crazyman said.

Lincoln goes up to him. "Mr. Crazyman, please don't skin me alive! I made up all that stuff. I was just kidding about whomping you, right guys? You remember."

"I liked the part where you told us he was crying like a baby." The fat kid said.

Crazyman glared at Lincoln.

"I'll be right back!" Lincoln ran out of the classroom. He went to the lost and found. Luckily, he was able to find toothpaste and a wrench. He went back to Mrs. Johnson's class.

"Ok look, I had a toothpaste tube like this." Lincoln explained. "But I couldn't get it open cause the cap was stuck. And I guess I haven't been working my arms out lately so I opened it up like this."

He hits the tube with the wrench to get the cap off. He started walking.

"Then I was walking like this and I didn't see where the cap was like this. So I slipped on it and landed right on my wrench like this."

Lincoln's incident causes him to get a second black eye.

"And I gave myself a black eye like this. I mean, like these. So you see, I made it all up so I could keep from looking stupid. Makes sense, doesn't it?"

"Um...not really." Crazyman replied. "I'm here to inform you that I'm your new art teacher."

* * *

In art class, Lincoln had made an art sculpture of Ace Savvy, even though he could barely see with his two black eyes. He just needed to add some paint to it. He got a paint tube and tried to squirt some paint but the tube was aimed at Crazyman. Lincoln ended up squirting paint onto his face.

"...Oops." Lincoln said nervously. "Sir, I am so sorry. Let me-"

"Where I'm from sorry doesn't cut it." Crazyman said. "We settle things in a different way."

The teacher and Lincoln got into a game of Rock Paper Scissors. The teacher did rock and Lincoln did paper. But then, Crazyman switched it to scissors. Lincoln realized he was in a similar situation from his dream.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

 **The End**


	41. Chapter 41: Lori's Day Off

**This chapter has been requested by a few people. A parody of the episode: Squid's Day Off**

* * *

It's Springtime. A time for fun and frolic for most. But not for poor Lori. She's working at Gus'Games n Grub with Leni. She is now staring out the window, desperately wanting to get out of work.

Lori sighs. "What a beautiful day, and here I am trapped in a prison of high cholesterol."

Ding!

"No one ever comes in on a Sunday."

Ding!

"Why can't the manager just let us out?"

Ding!

Lori grew annoyed from the constant dings. Leni is at the order counter ringing the bell. Lori comes over.

"Leni, stop ringing this bell!" She took it.

"I was just testing it."

"I will ring the bell when there's a order! But there's no customers! There literally hasn't been one all day and there literally isn't going to be any!"

Lori picks up the cash register and slams it on the counter in anger. It makes a ding sound.

"One pizza coming up!" Leni said, thinking Lori rang the bell.

"No!" The cash register opened and hit Lori. Some coins came out and landed on the floor. The manager heard this from inside his office.

"That sounds like my money dropping." He came out. Lori was gathering the coins. "What's going on out here? (gasps) My babies!"

He pushes Lori away. "Get away you animal! What have you done? Nice clean money soiled! I'll take care of you." He collects the money. "Let Papa clean you up. Out of the way!"

The manager went into the kitchen. He started washing the coins in the sink. "It's ok. Don't cry little ones."

Leni came over and tapped his shoulder. "What's wrong sir?"

He got startled. One of his dimes rolled near the drain. "My dime!"

It stopped. "Phew."

But then it rolled in. "No!" He reaches for the dime and was able to grab it. "Gotcha!"

But his arm was stuck in the sink. He tried to get it out. "What the-? It's stuck! You've gotta help me Leni!"

"You've gotta let go of the dime." Leni said.

"I can think of ten good reasons to never let go of a dime. There's got to be another way. Grab onto my back and heave!"

Leni held onto her boss and pulled as hard as she could. She managed to pull his arm out but he flew back and bumped into a wall, which caused the shelf above him to tilt. All the stuff on the shelf fell onto his head, including a radio, a box, and a bunch of bricks. He got a bump his head. Then his dime fell on his bump and he passed out.

* * *

An ambulance had arrived at Gus' Games n Grub. Two paramedics were carrying the manager on a stretcher.

"Wait. Lori, I'm putting you in charge of things around here while I'm gone."

Lori smiled. The paramedics carried the manager to the ambulance.

"You can count on me sir." Lori said. "Take care. Hurry back. Get well soon. You're in our thoughts. Takes more muscles to frown than to smile."

The ambulance left. Lori turned to Leni. "Ok Leni, let's get down to business. My first official act as new manager is to give you a promotion."

"Really?" Leni said excitedly.

"You get to run the cash register."

"The cashier register? That's totes awesome! Lori, who's gonna making the food?"

"You are. It's part of the promotion I mentioned earlier. You'll be wearing two hats know. You're gonna take the orders than you're gonna make the orders."

Lori puts her hat over Leni's hat.

"Wow. This is the best day of my life." Leni said.

"Me too."

"But wait, if I'm running the register and making the pizzas, what are you gonna do?"

"I've got some very important boss like errands to run. See ya later."

Lori began to leave.

"Lori!" Leni called.

"What is it?"

"You forgot to teach me how to use the cash register."

"You press the button and put the money inside." Lori instructed. "Ok, you're on your own."

Lori leaves. Leni stands by the register. "I can't believe this is really happening. Today I start living!"

Lori was walking off. "Well Lori, you've really outdone yourself this time. A beautiful day of relaxing and pampering with pay. I know. I'll go to the mall. But I guess I do feel bad for poor Leni, all by herself. Oh, it'll pass. She's probably standing by the register with that stupid grin on her face."

Lori imagines Leni standing by the register with her stupid grin. Chaz comes by and he also has a stupid face.

"Hey Leni." Chaz said stupidly.

"Hey Chaz." Leni greeted stupidly.

"Hey Leni, could you give me change for a quarter?"

"No problem." Leni takes his quarter. She bangs on the register and it opens. She takes out a bunch of dollars. "Here you go."

"Thanks."

Lori snaps out of imagination. "I forgot to tell her how to make change!"

She runs back to the pizzeria. "Leni!"

Leni is standing by the register. Lori goes to check inside the register. Everything looks in order.

"Phew."

"Hey Lori, you done with those errands?"

"No, I'm not. I just remembered…" she takes out a dollar. "-I needed change for this dollar."

"Do you want... four quarters? Or ten dimes? Or twenty nickels? Or one hundred pennies? Or one quarter, three dimes, seven nickels, and ten pennies? Or if you give a five dollar bill, your options are-"

"Alright!" Lori interrupted. "Goodbye."

She leaves with her dollar.

* * *

At the mall, Lori is relaxing in a vibrating massage chair. "Ah, these vibrating massage chairs are literally amazing. I'm the boss, I deserve this."

 _Everything's gonna be fine. There won't be any customers today anyway. She'll probably just stand there bored. Ha. Leni, bored._

Lori imagines Leni at the register. She yawns.

"Getting kinda bored." Leni falls asleep on the counter. Suddenly the restaurant sets on fire. Lori blows that thought out of her mind. She runs out of the mall and rushes back to Gus' place but then stops.

"Oh, what am I doing? I'm wasting valuable relaxation time, that's what I'm doing."

She heads back to the mall. "I mean, what are the odds? Leni setting Gus' place on fire."

Then a fire truck is seen going in the other direction. Lori panics and runs to back to the arcade/pizzeria. She comes in with a fire extinguisher and sprays foam all over. It clears up and Lori and Leni both have foam like mustaches.

"Can I help you sir?"

Lori whips the foam off. "It's me you twit!"

"Oh hi Lori." The foam falls off her face. "How are those errands going?"

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm very busy."

"I'm sure you are."

"I don't like your tone."

Leni changed her tone into a deeper one. "I'm sure you are." Regular tone. "How's that?"

"Just do your jobs." Lori leaves.

"You got it Lori. Gee, no wonder the manager put her in charge."

* * *

Back at the mall, Lori was trying to enjoy her day off. She was at a clothing section trying on sunglasses.

"Ok Lori, just enjoy your day off." She tried on another pair of sunglasses and looks in the mirror. "These are nice. They look just like...Leni's. Speaking of Leni, I wonder how she's doing. No, don't worry about her. Now repeat after me, you won't go back to Gus' Games n Grub."

In the mirror, Lori's face was replaced with Leni's.

"I will destroy Gus' Games n Grub."

Lori panicked and threw the mirror. It broke into pieces.

"Hey! You gonna pay for that?" A store employee said.

After Lori paid for the damage, she ran back to Gus' place.

"Leni!"

"Have you finished-"

"No!"

Lori headed back to the mall. "That's it! No matter what sick fantasies run through my mind I will not go back to that pizzeria!"

However, Lori ran back to the pizzeria again.

"Have you finished those errands?" Leni asked.

Lori ran back to the mall. But then ran back to the pizzeria. She keep doing this over and over as Leni kept asking her if she finished doing her errands. Lori then came back to the pizzeria for what seemed like the one hundredth time.

"Have you finished with those errands?" Leni asked three times.

"No! I am not finished with those errands and I never will be so quit checking up on me!" Lori snapped. "I know what you're up to. Forcing me to come back here every time you mess up!"

"But I haven't."

"Ok, maybe you haven't yet. But you will, you will! And when you do I'll be there! I'll be there!"

Lori laughs crazily and leaves.

"Boy, Lori sure is a hard worker. She makes me proud to wear two hats."

Lori was back at the mall. This time she took drastic measures. She used a ball and chain. She tied the chain around her leg to prevent her from leaving the mall.

"There. Now I'll have to stay here." Lori said. She had a crazy look on her face and her hair was messy. "I'm not even gonna think about you know who at the you know what doing I don't care. Just gonna relax."

Lori was now in the spa wearing her bikini. She sat in the pool.

"Let Lori's day off begin." Lori began to relax but then heard Leni's laughter.

"What was that?" She heard more laughing. "It's Leni. She's spying on me to see if I really am doing those errands. But she left her post and I finally caught her messing up."

She smiles smugly and got out of the pool. "Aha! Now I've caught-" She stepped on a doll. She saw it and it made a laughing sound. The laugh was similar to Leni's. Then Lori noticed someone covered in a sheet. The feet were exposed and the person was wearing sandals. Lori figured it must be Leni.

"Gee, I sure wish Leni was at the mall shopping with me." Lori said sarcastically. Then Lori pulled off the sheet. "Aha! Wait til the manager finds out you're-"

"-a mannequin." The person was a female mannequin that looked like Leni but was wearing a different dress. Lori went back into the pool. "You're literally losing it Lori, calm down. If I let this get to me again, I'll just end up running down to Gus' place bursting through the front door up to that blonde haired pest Leni and she'll say-"

"Hi Lori, are you finished with those errands yet?" Leni appeared right next to Lori wearing her work uniform.

"Aha!"

Leni went underwater and Lori dived in after her.

"I know you're in here." Lori saw her sister going down the drain. She rose up from the pool. "She's headed back to Gus' Games n Grub! I'll beat her there!"

Lori ran out of the spa and the chain and ball didn't restrict her, as the chain broke off. Lori ran out of the mall still in her bikini.

"I've got you now Leni!"

"Hey! Put some clothes on!" A lady said.

Lori ran past Chaz. "The truth will be revealed!"

"Woohoo! Right on Lori!"

At the hospital, a doctor is escorting Lori's manager outside.

"Ok sir, get plenty of rest and if things don't seem right just come back." The doctor went back inside.

"Thanks doc."

Just then, Lori ran right past the manager. "Leni, you can't beat me!"

The manager frowned and went back inside the hospital. Lori ran inside the arcade/pizzeria.

"Aha! I caught you now!" She went up to the counter with that crazy look on her face. "You didn't think I knew you were a mannequin doll at the mall! You followed me there and then you were in the pool! And then I...and then you...and I...and you...swam down the drain...and beat me to...Gus' Games n Grub."

Leni looked concerned. "Uh, does that mean you-"

"Yes Leni. I am finished with those errands." Lori hugs the register. "I guess I wanna take my place back at the cash register. I really do."

"Ok...by the way, why are you in your swimsuit?"

"Well, I, Uh-"

"Wait, don't tell me. You went to the mall to relax at the spa pool."

Lori looked surprised.

"What? I may be an airhead but I know you well enough Lori."

Lori smiles nervously.

"Hey, you know what?" Leni goes to the front doors and comes back with the sign. "We forgot to switch the closed sign to open. It's like we could've taken the whole day off!"

Leni laughs. Lori just faints.

The End


	42. Chapter 42: Tomatoes

**Guest request. A parody based on the episode: Pickles**

* * *

At Aloha Comrade, Mr. Grouse had been hired as a waiter since he needed extra cash. Lynn Sr. had given him instructions on what to do. Mr. Grouse now had on a work uniform.

"It's nice to have you on board here, Mr. Grouse." Lynn Sr. said.

"Well Loud, I hope this job is worth it."

"Oh, it is. Employees get free food made by yours truly."

"I like the sound of that."

"Ok, you know what to do now. I'll be in the kitchen."

Lynn Sr. went into the kitchen. A customer showed up.

"Welcome to Aloha Comrade." Mr. Grouse greeted. "May I take your order?"

The guy looked at the menu. "I'll have a-"

Mr. Grouse took out a notepad and pencil.

"No. Oh, maybe...no. Hmm...I'll have..no. Or maybe-"

"Are you planning on ordering today, sir?" Mr. Grouse asked slightly irritated.

"I'll have a BLT sandwich."

"BLT, got it." Mr. Grouse wrote the order.

"With extra bacon."

"Daring today, aren't we?" Mr. Grouse went back to give Lynn Sr. the order. "One BLT, extra bacon."

"One cryin' Lily, coming up!" Lynn Sr. gets out the ingredients. He cracks his fingers. "First bread, then bacon, extra bacon, followed by ranch, mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, and bread in that order."

He went back to Mr. Grouse. "One cryin' Lily, uuuup!"

"Whatever." Mr. Grouse took the food and served it to the customer. Another customer ordered and Mr. Grouse told Lynn Sr. "Twelve BLTs on wheat breads."

Lynn. Sr. rapidly made the sandwiches and put them all on one big plate. "One dozen cryin' pigs on the farm! Uuuup!"

"Thanks Farmer Loud." Mr. Grouse took the order back to the customer. "It's been a thrill serving you."

"Can I get extra salt?" The guy asked.

"We're all out." Mr. Grouse informed.

"Could you check?"

"...No."

The customer glared at him and walked off with the sandwiches. Then a large overweight man came up to order. He was wearing glasses and wore a tank top that was small on him so his belly was exposed. He also wore shorts and sandals.

"Let me guess shorty, a small salad?" Mr. Grouse jokes.

The man told his order as Mr. Grouse wrote it down. "I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe on a raft, four by four animal style, extra shingles with the shimmy, and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it and let it swim."

Mr. Grouse didn't write down the whole order. "We sir food here sir."

Lynn Sr. came out with a BLT. "Hey Grouse, did we get another order for-" He sees the customer and gasps. He glared. "Big Bert."

Big Bert glared at Lynn Sr. "Lynn Loud."

Mr. Grouse moves out of the way.

"I hear you make a mean BLT." Big Bert said.

"Yep." Lynn Sr. replied. "And I hear you're kinda picky."

"Yep."

"Well then-" Lynn Sr's tone went happy. "Here you go!"

He handed the BLT to Big Bert. Bert took it and went to sit down at a table. Others stared at him as he inspected the sandwich. He then took a bite. Lynn Sr. came.

"So Big Bert, what do you think?"

"This is pretty good." He admitted. "Only one thing, you forgot the tomatoes."

Everyone gasps.

"No!" Lynn Sr. cried.

"The best there is? I don't think so! You lose!" Bert laughed weirdly.

"But the tomatoes should be right where they always are." Lynn Sr. checked the sandwich. "I know I put them on. Where are those tomatoes? Tomatoes! Tomatoes!"

Big Bert walked up to Sergei. "I believe you owe me two bucks."

"Two bucks?!"

"Your guarantee." Big Bert pointed to the menu, which had the words "money back guarantee" on the bottom, but you could barely see them since the font was so tiny. Sergei squinted.

"Oh, that. Well, can't we talk about this?" He took out the money.

"No." Bert pulled on his money but Sergei didn't let go.

"How about a discount on restroom tokens?"

"Afraid not."

Bert started to leave as Sergei was being dragged on the floor.

"How about a free glass of water? A dozen free glasses of water? With ice!"

Bert took his cash and left.

"No! Come back!" Sergei cried. "Two dollars! Two dollars! No!"

"Sergei, I know I put tomatoes on that sandwich." Lynn Sr. said, still looking for them.

"Those two bucks are coming out of your paycheck!" Sergei dragged Lynn Sr. back into the kitchen.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!"

Lynn Sr. was tossed in the kitchen.

"Get back to work! We've got orders waiting!"

Then Mr. Grouse showed up. "I need Another BLT. Wow Loud, those things are popular." He left.

Lynn Sr. went back to a table to make another sandwich. "Ok, I'm not gonna blow it this time. Let's see, bread, then ranch and then..tomatoes? No, that's not right!" He started over. "Bread, then mayo and ranch, lettuce, then the tomatoes? No."

He tried again. "Bread, mayo, then bread. No, I forget the bacon! Tomatoes, ranch!"

Lynn Sr. was now making a mess.

"No! Think! Think! I'm losing it! Bread, shoe, mayo, pan, bread! No!"

Sergei came in.

"Sergei, I'm so confused! I can't remember how to do anything!"

"Why don't you take the rest of the day off?"

"But who'll make the food?"

"Don't worry, we've got Mr. Grouse."

"Huh? What was that?" Mr. Grouse said from outside.

Lynn Sr. came out. "Sergei is right. I need to get my head straight. Now was it bread, bacon, ranch-(gasps) Where's the door? Sergei! The front door is missing!"

Sergei was seen by the front door.

"Oh." He laughs nervously. "Sorry about that Sergei. This tomatoes thing has got my head all messed up. I better go home and rest my brain."

He leaves but then comes back. "Um, which way do I live?"

Sergei points to a direction.

"Right, of course."

* * *

Back at home in the living room, Lynn Sr. was still trying to figure out how to make a BLT. He wrote the ingredients on paper. "No, no! Was it bread, bacon, bread or tomato, ranch, bread? No! Bread! No! Shoe! No!" He throws the pad of paper and pencil in frustration. He has used up a bunch of paper that were now scattered on the table. "I am so confused!"

Rita comes in carrying Lily. "Honey, are you still trying to figure out how to make that sandwich?"

"Yes! I can't believe I forgot how to make a Cryin Lily."

"Poo poo?" Lily asked.

"No, not you Lily. I was referring to a BLT. This is stressing me out." He sighs.

"Maybe a goods night sleep will help you get your head on straight." Rita suggested.

"I guess you're right."

* * *

Lynn Sr. had put on his pajamas and got ready for bed. "Now How do I sleep on a bed again? Was it mattress, sheets, and then Lynn?"

"I got it! It was Lynn, mattress, sheets, and then pillow." He go under the mattress. Rita was watching this. "Goodnight honey."

"Uh Lynn?"

"No, this isn't right."

He laid on the sheets.

"Lynn-"

"Wait, don't tell me! I can figure this out." Lynn Sr. continued to switch places throughout the night. Rita just went into the living room to sleep on the couch. It was eventually the next day. His alarm clock started beeping. The father was under the bed. "Aw, I almost had it!"

He came out to turn off his clock. "How do I turn this thing off? Think, think, think! Aha!" He grabbed a hammer and used it to smash the alarm clock, breaking it. "Great thinking Lynn."

* * *

At Aloha Comrade, there was smoke coming from the kitchen. Mr. Grouse used a fire extinguisher to blow it away. Sergei came in.

"The BLT's are done." Mr. Grouse informed him.

Sergei saw the sandwiches were burnt and blackened. Outside, customers were not happy.

"He burnt my sandwich." One guy said.

"He burnt my burrito." One women said.

"He burnt my drink." One kid said.

The angry customers left.

"No! Come back!" Sergei called. "No! No! That's it! I gotta get Lynn back!"

* * *

Sergei went over to the Loud house. He saw a toaster hanging from the front door. He opened the door. "Lynn?"

Inside, he saw the living room was a mess. The couch was knocked over, there were steaks on the tv, eggs splattered onto the walls with darts stuck to them, and other things were out of place.

"Uh, Lynn?"

Lynn showed up wearing underwear on his head. "Sergei, hello. How do you how do?"

"Why're you talking funny?" Sergei removed the underwear from his head.

"I anything can't do right since because tomatoes."

"Nonsense. You'll be back to your old self making sandwiches again in no time."

"I don't think ready back to go to work Sergei." Lynn Sr. walked off.

"But you're fine Comrade."

Lynn Sr. bumped into a wall, then went into the kitchen.

"Or maybe not."

Rita showed up. "Hello sir, as you can see my husband has lost his confidence."

"Don't worry ma'am, I'll help him."

"Glad to hear that, cause I can't take another minute of this." Rita left the house.

Lynn Sr. was in the kitchen pouring juice and cereal into a pot. His boss came in.

"Lynn, all we have to do is get your confidence back so you can make me more money, and bring in customers."

"I how do that?" Lynn Sr. asked.

"It's like riding a bike. You never forget." Sergei saw a bike in a pot that was on the stove. "Uh...I'm gonna help you."

* * *

The two men were sitting on the couch in the living room, where things were back in place.

"If you learn how to make a BLT again, your life will be back in order." Sergei explained. He opened a mat filled with BLT ingredients and laid it on the table.

"Sergei, I don't think-"

"Take your time."

Lynn Sr. looked at the ingredients. Later that day, it was nighttime. Then daytime again. Lynn still hadn't made the sandwich. He picked up bread and Sergei stared at him with hope, but then changed his mind. Two days passed by. It was night again. Sergei had fallen asleep.

"I've got it!" Lynn Sr. said, waking him up. "It's all clear to me now!"

"It is?"

"Yes! I finally realized that I can't do it! I can't do it Sergei! I'm a failure!"

"Don't talk like that!"

"Don't you get it, you fat Russian!" Lynn Sr. snapped. "I can't make a double BLT with the works! I can't make BLT with bread, bacon, lettuce, mayo, ranch, tomatoes, and top bread in that order!"

He then realized he just did.

Sergei smiled. "It's time."

* * *

Lynn Sr. and Sergei head back to Aloha Comrade. Lynn Sr. goes into the kitchen and pushes Mr. Grouse out, who is burned. Then Lynn Sr. gets a fire extinguisher and sprays foam on the old man. One customer saw Lynn Sr.

"Hey! Mr. Loud is back!" Other people heard him and became happy to see the old chef. They went inside the restaurant. Lynn Sr. looked at himself in his spatula and smiled. Then Big Bert came and pushed through the customers.

"I hear Lynn is back!"

"I'm right here Big Bert."

"I thought I ran you outta town!" Big Bert spits.

"This is where I belong." Lynn Sr. twirled his spatula around.

Bert roared at him.

"Roar." Lynn Sr. replied.

The crowd gasped. Now the tension was real. Big Bert got out a fork and knife. Lynn held out his spatula. The two men glared at each other as the people stared. Sergei sweated. Mr. Grouse was looking at himself in the mirror but then looked at the scene in front of him.

"Give me the regular." Big Bert ordered. "And this time don't forget the tomatoes."

Lynn Sr. zipped back into the kitchen and out with a BLT in a second. "I didn't."

Big Bert took his sandwich and took a bite. Sergei sweated. Mr. Grouse looked in the mirror again but then looked back at the scene frowning. Lynn Sr. smiled confidently.

"Still no tomatoes."

Lynn Sr. looked surprised.

"See?" Big Bert opened his mouth wide and showed the chewed up bacon on his tongue, much to everyone's disgust.

"You failed again, Lynn the loser." Big Bert did his weird laugh again, but this time Lynn Sr. noticed something.

"Wait a minute." He grabbed Big Bert's tongue to reveal four tomatoes under it. "Look! He's been hiding the tomatoes under his tongue the whole time!"

"And there's the tomatoes from last time too!" Sergei mentioned.

"And there's my car keys!" One women said.

Everyone glared at Big Bert angrily. Bert gulped. "And..there's my ride."

He ran out of the restaurant. Sergei, Lynn Sr., and Mr. Grouse stood in front of the customers.

"Three cheers for the return of our master head chef, Lynn Loud." Sergei announced. "Hip hip!"

"Hooray!" The crowd cheered. Even Mr. Grouse cheered but not as cheerfully.

"Hip hip!"

"Hooray!"

"Hip hip!"

"Hooray!"

"And three cheers for the chef who took my place while I was gone." Lynn Sr announced. "Mr. Grouse. Hip hip!"

"Boo!"

"Hip hip!"

"Boo!"

Mr. Grouse frowned.

"Hip hip!"

"Boo!"

"Hip hip!"

"BOO! YOU STINK!!"

 **The End**


	43. Chapter 43: Flippy Love

**It is almost Valentine's Day, so I thought I'd do a Valentine's Day related episode. Here's a parody of the episode: Krusty Love**

* * *

At Flip's Food n Fuel, Flip's in his office painting a picture of a dollar bill. He then smells something. "What's that smell?"

He goes out to his register. "The register!" He inspects it. "Forty nine o eight? That's a penny short!" He starts crying.

"Oh no. Not a penny." Lori said sarcastically as she walked past Flip. "Help. Somebody help him."

Lincoln walked up to Flip holding a Flippy. "It's just a penny sir. It doesn't matter."

Flip stops crying and glared at Lincoln. "Doesn't matter? It's money that makes the world go round! It's money that gets you to buy a Flippy. It's money that gives your sister that perfume smell."

Lori smells herself. "Lilac."

"It's money that paid for all those renovations I did." Flip's store has big bandages all over the place. "Nothing in the world could matter more, not even the-" He sees someone and becomes lovestruck. "Scrumptious curvy cutie."

"Oh, I see her Flip." Lincoln said. "A hot dog with mustard. The classic."

"Not the hot dog kid. The curvy cutie holding the hot dog."

Lincoln sees that it's Mrs. Johnson, preparing her hot dog.

"Hey, that's my teacher Mrs. Johnson."

"Mrs. Johnson? Aw, she's married."

"Nope. She's single."

"Then what happened to Mr. Johnson?"

We cut to a man buried in cement. Though you can't see him cause only his feet are sticking out. Now we cut back to Flip and Lincoln.

"She doesn't like to talk about it." Lincoln replied.

"Oh, what I'd do to have a woman like her." Flip said.

"Hey, I know! Why don't I take you over and introduce you?"

"No, no, no! I'm too old kid. I don't have time for love. Besides, I ain't properly dressed."

"Oh come on Flip, you look great."

Flip's clothes are shown to be dirty.

"You wait here and I'll go break the ice." Lincoln walked off.

"Lincoln, wait! I'm too nervous!"

Lincoln walked over to Mrs. Johnson. "Hi Mrs. Johnson."

"Oh hello Lincoln." She greeted. "I've never seen you here before."

"Oh, I come here often. Also, I'd like you to meet someone."

"Well I'm-"

"Ok, I'll be right back." Lincoln leaves and comes back with a nervous Flip. "Mrs. Johnson, I'd like to introduce you to-"

Flip falls over. Lincoln lifts him back up. "Mrs. Johnson, I'd like to introduce you to the owner Flip."

"Uh, hello."

Flip just shakes.

"Sir, say hello."

Flip makes a strange sound.

"No, just say hello."

Flip makes another weird noise.

"...Um, perhaps another time would be-"

Flip freaks out. Mrs. Johnson starts to leave.

"Wait! He's trying to tell you something!"

Mrs. Johnson looks worried. "Flip?"

He says some gibberish and makes body gestures.

"I don't understand."

Flips tries to say something to Lincoln.

"I think Flip is saying he'd like to hit you with a rake."

"Goodness!" Mrs. Johnson exclaimed.

Flips acts something out.

"Try to guess your weight."

"Well!"

Flips flails his arms up and down as he says more gibberish to Lincoln.

"No wait, he'd like to take you...on a date!"

Flip falls down in front of Mrs. Johnson.

"Is that true Flip?" Mrs. Johnson asked. "Do you want to take me on a date?"

He sighs. "What do you say?"

"What do I say? I say you've got a way with words Flip."

She walks away.

"Heh heh. I've still got it."

Lori walks over to Lincoln with a bag of chips. "What's going on?"

"Flip just got a date with my teacher." Lincoln stated.

"Oh boy, I can't wait to hear how this turns out."

* * *

Lincoln agreed to help Flip get ready for his date at his place. He thought Flip and his teacher would make a nice couple.

"Ready for your date Flip?"

"I'm always ready when it comes to dating kid."

Flip is wearing a fancy suit. Lincoln is checking over a list of stuff Flip needs for his date.

"Breath spray?"

"Check." Flip sprays his mouth.

"Lucky hanky?"

"Check."

"A fruit basket?"

"Uh oh! I don't have a fruit basket!"

Lincoln laughed. "Relax Flip, it was a joke." He opened the door for Flip.

"Well, good luck with you know who." Lincoln makes a circle with his fingers.

"Who's that?"

"Mrs. Johnson."

"Oh, right. Well, wish me luck kid."

* * *

At a restaurant named Fancy, Flip and Mrs. Johnson are enjoying their date. They were seated at a table.

"Oh Flip, this dinner has been so wonderful! The steak was cooked to perfection. I don't think I could eat another bite."

"Oh, I doubt that my little darling."

Mrs. Johnson giggled. "You're spoiling me Flip. I mean, toe nailing painting between courses." A guy under the table is seen painting her toenails.

"Artwork." Mrs. Johnson had a painting of herself where she looked like Mona Lisa. "And this soothing music."

A man in uniform is playing the piano.

"Nothing's too good for you my pretty peach."

"What I'm trying to say Flip is-"

One of the employees showed up. "Excuse me sir, your fancy pancy limousine is here."

"Wonderful!" Flip said. "Johnson baby, your chariot awaits!"

Flip snapped his finger and two men came and carried Mrs. Johnson to the limo. She was taken aback by this.

"You'll never have to walk again my Queen." Flip sighed happily.

"Sir, here's your bill." The waiter handed him the bill. Flip was shocked by what he saw on the bill.

"What?! One hundred dollars? This can't possibly be correct!"

"Oh, my mistake sir." The waiter said checking the bill. "Thank you for pointing that out. This is your bill."

He gave Flip the right bill and Flip was even more shocked by what he saw. He screamed so loud that he broke all the windows of the restaurant.

* * *

Lincoln was informed on what happened on Flip's date. He was at Flip's place where Flip was crying his heart out.

"I don't get it Flip. How could you spend one hundred thousand dollars in one night?"

"Oh Lincoln, I couldn't help but spend every single cent I had on her! I couldn't control myself!"

"What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know kid. I've got another date tomorrow! I'm caught in the middle of my two great loves! Sweet Mrs. Johnson and the rest of my money!" Flip sobbed some more.

"I wish there was someway I could help." Lincoln said.

Flip gets an idea. "Perhaps there is kid." He gave Lincoln his wallet. "I'm putting you in charge of my money!"

"I don't get it Flip."

"You come with me on the date and don't let me spend any money."

* * *

"Now remember, we keep it cheap by going to the park." Flip told Lincoln as they headed over to Mrs. Johnson's house. "And no matter how much I ask you, you don't give any of my money. Now give me a dollar."

"Nope." Lincoln said.

"Good boy. You'll do fine."

Flip knocks on the door.

"Who is it?" Mrs. Johnson's voice is heard.

"It's me, my beautiful babe." Flip said romantically.

Mrs. Johnson giggled. "Just a minute."

"Flowers. Flowers kid! I need you to get some flowers!"

"But you said-"

"Lincoln, you can't call on a classy lady like Mrs. Johnson empty handed. We ain't talking about this (makes a square) or this,(makes a triangle) we're talking about this!" (makes a circle)

Mrs. Johnson's voice is heard. "Almost ready."

"Hurry kid! Go get the flowers!"

Lincoln runs off and Mrs. Johnson comes out.

"Mrs. Johnson, you're as beautiful as ever." Flip complimented.

"That's funny. I thought I heard Lincoln's voice."

"Uh, you did. He'll be right back. He's our personal assistant for the day."

"Oh, that's nice of him. Excuse me, let me go get my purse."

"Of course. I'll be waiting."

Then Lincoln came back with flowers. "Flip, I got those flowers you wanted me to buy."

"What's that?"

"I got the flowers for Mrs. Johnson."

"We had an agreement kid, you weren't supposed to spend any of my money!"

"But you said-"

"Here I Come." Mrs. Johnson said as she came back.

"For you!" Flip gave her the flowers.

"Flowers? How thoughtful!"

"And I also got you a box of candy."

Flip realized he didn't have any candy to give to her. "Lincoln, where's the candy?"

"Flip, the budget doesn't allow for-"

"Lincoln, you can't go to Mrs. Johnson's house without candy. Hurry, hurry!"

Lincoln runs off and comes back with a heart shaped box full of candy. "I bought the biggest box they had, with an assortment of different kinds of candy."

"Buy, buy, buy! Spend, spend, spend!" Flip scolded. "Is that all you can think about?"

"Oh Flip!" Mrs. Johnson called.

Flip turned to Mrs. Johnson with the box of candy. "Here's the candy I bought for you! So Mrs. Johnson, what do you wanna do today? Go to a movie, dancing, a trip to the spa?"

"Psst, Flip. We're just going for a walk in the park, remember?" Lincoln reminded him.

"Actually, a walk in the park sounds perfect." Mrs. Johnson said. "It's a beautiful day. I'll just need to get a sunhat and-"

"Mrs. Johnson needs a sunhat Lincoln!" Flip said.

"I think she-"

"The sun is beating down on poor Mrs. Johnson's head!"

"As your financial advisor, i suggest-"

"There's no time for suggesting! Go buy a hat!"

"But-"

"Today!"

Lincoln runs off to get a hat.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Johnson! I'll shade ya!" Flip takes off his shirt and puts it over Mrs. Johnson's head. "Lincoln hurry!"

Lincoln came back. "One shady hat!"

"Good job kid."

Flip takes back his shirt and puts the hat over Mrs. Johnson's head.

"Oh..uh, thank you." Mrs. Johnson said. "But you didn't need to buy a hat. I already had one in the closet."

"Didn't need to buy one?" Flip turns to Lincoln with a smile on his face. "You hear that kid? We didn't need to buy a hat." He frowns and his tone becomes angry. "Aren't you supposed to be saving my money?!"

"I'm trying sir! But you keep telling me to buy things for Mrs. Johnson! It's all really confusing!"

Flip sees his mistake. "Lincoln, I'm sorry. This is my fault. I'm not thinking clearly. I'll make a promise kid. From this moment on I won't ask you to buy anything for Mrs. Johnson."

 **A few moments later**

"Mrs. Johnson needs a new fur coat!"

Lincoln goes and comes back with the fur coat.

"You're spending all my money!"

Then-

"Mrs. Johnie needs a new pair of shoes!"

Lincoln goes and comes back with a pair of shoes.

"You're breaking me kid!"

Then-

"She needs fine jewelry!"

Lincoln goes and comes back with fine jewelry.

"Not that fine!"

And so Flip continues to order Lincoln around, sending him off to buy things for Mrs. Johnson. Eventually, Lincoln became exhausted. Flip came up to him.

"Lincoln, I'm glad I caught ya. I need you to buy Mrs. Johnson-"

"Wait!" Lincoln interrupted. "Don't tell me! You want to run down to the store to buy Mrs. Johnson something she doesn't need! Then you want me to run back here and you'll say (he imitates Flip) Lincoln, you're spending all my money!" (normal voice) And then I'll say "But Flip, I'm only doing what you said!" Then you'll say "We're not talking about this, (makes a triangle) or this, (makes a square) we're talking about this!" He makes long squiggly lines that cover the screen and pants heavily.

"But kid, this is different!" Flip begged. "This is a washing machine I'm talking about! Mrs. Johnson needs this!"

Mrs. Johnson is outside with all the things Lincoln bought for her. She is laying on a bed wearing her fur coat. "Are we going to the park soon?"

"Please Lincoln! I'm begging you! I'm a lonely old man who's found love! Don't let me lose her!" Flip started crying.

"Flip, don't-don't cry Flip." Lincoln said, trying to cheer him up. "Come on. Ok, ok. I'm gonna go get it."

Lincoln went and came back with the washing machine.

"Cheer up Flip, I'm back!" Lincoln said. "Here's that washing machine you wanted."

"Cheer up? How can I cheer up when you're spending all my hard earned cash?!"

"See? You just did it again!"

"Kid, I can't help it if you're loose with other people's money…Do you think Mrs. Johnson will need a dryer to go along with that?"

Lincoln finally had enough. "Well Flip, Do you wanna know what I think?"

Lincoln ranted, using foul language at Flip. Mrs. Johnson opened up a dictionary and was surprised by what Lincoln was saying. Lincoln walked away angrily mumbling to himself. Flip was shocked as his mouth was hung wide open.

"I didn't know Lincoln had such a colorful vocabulary." Mrs. Johnson said walking up to Flip. "But there's something I'd like to say too Flip. I'm afraid I just don't feel comfortable accepting all these gifts." She takes the sun hat and coat off. "I'd rather go Dutch. If you don't mind."

She took some cash out of her purse and handed it to Flip.

"Oh, ok." He took the money.

"You're a very sweet man Flip." Mrs. Johnson kissed Flip on the cheek. He got hearts in his eyes as he smiled happily.

 **The End**


	44. Chapter 44: Luna, Lana, and the Spider

**I'm back with a new Sponge House parody! This one being a parody of Sandy, Spongebob and the worm. I've wanted to do a parody of this episode for a while now, but I was originally going to use Lynn as Sandy but Luna is older and armed with her guitar axe. But I hope you enjoy this chapter anyway.**

* * *

It was nighttime. But something big was let loose in town. A police officer was writing a ticket for the person who left their car in a no parking space. Then something appeared and the police officer looked wide eyed at the thing. It ate the car and left. The police officer picked up the "No Parking" sign and put it near another car. He then put a ticket on the car and walked away. At the Louds, Lana was getting a midnight snack. Then she heard a sound outside. She looked out the window and was shocked at what she saw. The front yard was a mess and most of Vanzilla was eaten, along with the tree in their front yard.

* * *

The next day, citizens of Royal Woods had gathered together at Gus Games n Grub to discuss what happened last night.

"I saw it!" Lana said. "It was big, it had lots of legs, and it ate almost everything!"

"That's horrible!" Chaz said and then ate a whole pizza on a plate.

"It was an Australian black widow spider!"

"Spider!" Leni yelled when she heard the word.

"It's true!" Lisa mentioned. "It escaped from the local science lab last night because of a project gone wrong! And I was involved in the incident!"

"I should've known you had something to do with this!" Lola said.

Everyone then started chattering.

"He ate my wheelbarrow!" One man said.

"He ate my children's homework!" One woman said. Her kids winked at the readers.

One guy's rear end was missing. "Do I need to say it?"

"How are we going to protect ourselves?" One guy said as people kept chatting.

"I've got it!" Flip said, getting everyone's attention. "Let's all buy a Flippy!"

Everyone booed and threw bottles at him.

"We should lock our doors!" One guy said.

"We should call my nephew!" An old lady said.

"We should dig a moat!" A guy in knights armor said.

"We should take Royal Woods and push it somewhere else!" Leni said.

Everyone went quiet and stared at Leni.

"That idea may just be crazy enough...to literally get us all killed!" Lori said.

Everyone started chattering again.

"We should send someone to go after it!" One man said.

"There ain't no one fool enough to take on an Australian black widow spider!" The manager said.

A loud screeching sound is heard, causing everyone to cringe. A fisherman is scratching the door window with his hook before he looks at the crowd. They stare at him.

"You got a bathroom in here?" The fishermen asked.

"In the back." The manager said.

"Thanks." The fisherman ran to the back.

"I'll catch your spider for ya." Someone at a table said. The person lifted up their cowboy hat and it was revealed to be Luna. "That is if you're willing to pay."

"No!" Flip yelled. "You'll never get a cent out of me! Never! I'd rather have that spider come in here and eat you all alive!!"

He started foaming at the mouth. Everyone stared at him as if he'd gone crazy. He calmed down. "Uh...sorry."

Luna laughed. "Dude, I don't want your money. I was just playing up the drama of the moment as all."

Flip laughed nervously and then sobbed.

"Nope! I'm gonna take that ugly thing down for nothing cause this is personal! That spider took my drumsticks! He must've got them when my back was turned. The coward."

The people were surprised to hear this.

"I'm gonna get back what's mine!" Luna declared. The crowd cheered, including her family, except for Lana who got worried.

"What? Luna, you don't know what you're up against! We're talking about an Australian black widow spider!"

"Well, I don't know anything about Australia," Luna said. "But I have taken on a mechanical bull ride with Sam." She showed a picture of her and Sam riding a mechanical bull on her phone. "Plus I'm armed with a guitar ax."

"But this is a lot different." Lana said.

"Lana, I'm sure this spider may be a bit of a challenge but I think Luna is tough enough to handle it." Lynn Sr. said.

"Thanks Dad." Luna said. "Now I'm off to kick some spider butt!"

Luna ran off and Lana followed her.

"But Luna, you don't know!"

The crowd cheered and encouraged Luna.

"Go get em Luna! We have the utmost confidence in you!" The manager said, then he turned to Leni. "Now what was that idea of yours?"

We cut to the citizens outside of their town.

"Push!" Leni ordered.

The citizens tried pushing the town.

* * *

Luna is somewhere on the outskirts of town. Lana goes after her.

"Wait! Luna!"

"Hey little sis, you coming to watch?"

Lana caught up. "Luna, don't go!"

"Why not?"

"Luna, I saw it! It's big, scary, and dangerous!"

"So is Lola's anger but I can take that."

"You'll get massacred!"

"Lana, you're a little girl and I'm a big girl. What you think is big and what I think is big are totally two different bigs. Besides, he's got my drumsticks. I can't take that lying down."

"Well, what if the spider doesn't have your drumsticks?"

"If that spider ain't got my drumsticks, who does?"

"Um..I do."

"You do? Where?"

"Uh...in my back pocket."

"Well, why didn't you say so? Give it here. Come on."

Lana nervously took out the "drumsticks" from her back pocket. But they were revealed to be bones.

"Dude, those are dog bones."

"No they're not. They're your drumsticks."

"Lana!"

"How can you tell? Bones and drumsticks are kinda the same! Oh, don't go! Don't go! Don't go!"

Lana clings onto Luna. Luna pushes her off. "Lana, what is wrong with you? I'm going to give that eight legged punk what for and there's nothing you can say to stop me."

"Oh yeah?" Lana got up. "What if I said-" Lana says some gibberish.

"Well, I gotta admit that slowed me down but I'm still going for it!"

Luna kept walking. Lana appeared in front of her.

"You know, drumsticks are so overrated. Let's just forget about it and go home."

Luna ignored her.

"Wanna hear a song?" Lana had a CD album but Luna ignored her again. "From Mick Swagger?"

Then Lana appeared again, this time dressed as their dad. "Luna Loud, this is your father speaking, and I forbid you to go after this spider. You better come back here young lady."

"You ain't Dad." Luna said.

Lana appeared in front of Luna again, this time wearing boxing gloves.

"Luna, if you're gonna get to that spider, you'll have to get past me first!"

Luna just shoved her aside and continued walking. Lana then held onto Luna's legs.

"Luna, no!" She cried. "I can't let you! I'm not gonna let you get killed! If he finds you, he'll eat you for sure!"

"Ain't no way some dumb old spider is gonna make a meal out of me!" Luna said. "I'm a tough rockin gal!"

Lana still held onto her and cried. "No! Not tough enough! Not tough enough!"

"Lana, quit your worrying." Luna picked her up. "I can take care of myself. After all, who was the one who stage dived on Lynn and pinned her down?"

"You were." Lana answered.

"And who took down those bullies with a guitar?"

"You did."

"And remember when those wild animals got loose from the zoo, who calmed them down with the power of music?"

"You did."

"Right. So I can handle your little spider too cause I am the best there is. There ain't nothing too big or too ornery for me to handle."

"Ok."

"Say it!"

"There isn't anything-"

"Ain't nothin!"

"Ain't nothin too big or too ornery for you to handle. But-"

"No!" Luna interrupted. Lana kept trying to talk with Luna as they went to search for the spider but Luna didn't want to hear what she had to say.

* * *

Luna found something on the ground. "Spider sign."

The two siblings saw a "cave" in front of them.

"He's in that cave." Luna said.

"Luna, are you sure th-"

"Course I am. I'm going in and I'm not coming out until I get a big heaping plate of spider stew."

Lana saw something and hid behind a rock, terrified.

"Aha! There you are you drumstick stealer!" Luna was battling with something inside. "I'm winning Lana!"

"Luna, that's not-"

Luna continued to fight.

"This shouldn't take long!"

"Luna, that's not-"

Luna fought some more.

"Almost done!"

"Luna!"

Luna finished up with her fight against the creature. She then came out with a "worm" she was on. "I got him Lana!" Luna managed to tie it in a knot.

"Luna," Lana said frightened.

"Wow, this dude sure put up a fight but as you can see, I was tough enough to handle him because I can handle anything big. I even got my drumsticks back." She showed her drumsticks. "And by the way, this is a worm, not a spider."

"I know it's not a spider." Lana said.

"Then where is this spider?"

"That's what I was trying to tell you. You were in the spider and that's his tongue."

We zoom out to see the "cave" is actually the spider. Luna was surprised as she was not expecting the spider to be that big.

"Ohhhhh." She said surprised. "This is the tongue...and the whole thing is the...spider...RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!"

She and Lana ran away as quickly as they could. The spider roared and chased after them.

"So what's the plan Luna?" Lana asked.

"Run faster dude!" Luna replied.

"I could've thought of that." Lana then realized something. "Hey, wait a minute! This means I was right, wasn't I?"

"Later!"

"He is too big for you, isn't he?"

"Not now Lana!"

"I wanna hear you say it!

"Can we talk about this another time?"

"Say it!"

"Lana!"

"Say it or I'll trip you!"

"No! Get away!"

"Say it!"

"Not now!"

"Say it!"

"Ok! You were right and I was wrong! I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! Are you happy now?"

"I knew it." Lana said smugly.

The two sisters screamed and kept running for their lives. They ran the guy who had covered his rear end with tape, but then the spider passed by and the tape was gone.

"Uh Luna, what do we do now?" Lana asked.

"I don't know!"

"Guys, over here!" The two sisters looked and saw their younger sister Lisa, hiding behind a tree.

"Lisa?" Luna said. They ran up to her. "What are you doing here?"

"I just invented a shrink ray to reduce the spider." Lisa explained.

"That's great!" Lana said.

"Well, use it dude!" Luna said.

The spider got closer to the kids and the young scientist used the ray to shrink it back to its original size. Then Lisa trapped it in a jar.

"You did it Lis!" Luna said. "You saved the town!"

"I guess that makes me the real hero." Lisa said.

"Let's go tell everyone!" Lana suggested. The three siblings headed back to the city.

"By the way, we tried to push the town but it was physically impossible." Lisa said.

* * *

At the Loud House, the family was impressed by Lisa's heroic deed.

"Well Lisa, we're so proud of you!" Rita said. "And I'm glad you guys are ok."

"Yeah, and Lana was right." Luna said. "I couldn't handle the spider, but I appreciate you looking out for me dude."

"Well, it was fascinating to see such a huge spider." Lana admitted. "But Lisa, can you try not to create any more giant animals?"

"Precisely." Lisa said. "But the spider is still in its jar."

She showed the jar. Leni immediately freaked out when she saw the eight legged creature. "The spider!!"

She ran out of the house screaming.


	45. Chapter 45: Ditched

**And now here's a parody of the episode: Dumped. It's a coincidence that Luan also has a pet named Gary.**

* * *

Outside, Luan's pet rabbit is searching for something as he sniffs the air. He goes to the backyard and sees Luan waiting for him.

"You're getting warmer." Luan said.

Gary followed the smell and found a cinnamon roll behind Luan.

"Good job Gary, you're on a roll." Luan said. "A cinnamon roll." She laughs and Gary eats the cinnamon roll.

Leni comes out from the back door. "Hi Luan. What are you doing?"

"Hey Leni. Gary and I are playing a game of "Find the Food."

"Oh, how do you play?"

"Well, first you need some food, then you hide it, and Gary will try to find it. And just so you know, he has a good sense of smell."

"Ok, I can make a smoothie for him."

Then Gary hopped onto Leni. He shook and crawled around her.

"What's with Gary? He sounds like a vibrating phone."

"That's a bunny's way of saying he likes you." Luan said.

Leni giggles as Gary goes around her. "That tickles!"

She and Luan laughed as Gary continued to crawl all over Leni. Later, it was night and Luan and Leni were still laughing.

"Well, it's time for bed." Luan said. "Come on Gary." Luan took Gary off Leni and walked off. "Boy, I can't wait to get some rest. How about you Gary?"

Luan noticed that Gary wasn't with her. "Gary?"

Inside, Leni was brushing her teeth in the bathroom and Gary was holding onto her. Luan knocked on the door. "Leni, are you in there?"

Leni opens the door slightly and sticks her head out. "Yeah, what's up?"

"Have you seen Gary?"

Leni opened the door all the way. "No, isn't he-" She sees him on her stomach. "Oh, there he is."

"Come on Gary, we've gotta let Leni go to sleep."

"I don't mind Luan. In fact, why don't you let Gary sleepover at my room tonight."

"Hey, that's a great idea!"

"A sleepover! Oh boy!" Leni said excitedly. "This is gonna be great Gary. We can stay up and read fashion magazines, and eat popcorn, and play board games, and-"

As Leni continued to chatter, Luan thought how great it was to have Leni and Gary bond with each other. Gee, this is great. My sister and my pet having a sleepover.

"And then we'll design outfits and you can be my fashion model."

"Ok, I'll see you guys tomorrow." Luan and Leni waved bye as Luan went to her room. Leni continued to chat with Gary.

"Blah blah blah, blah blah blah."

* * *

The next day, Luan went downstairs to get breakfast. She saw Leni and Gary in the kitchen.

"Hey Luan." Leni greeted.

"Hey guys, how was the sleepover?"

"Great Luan. Hey, watch this. No matter where I go, Gary follows."

Leni ran out of the kitchen and Gary followed. She bumped into a wall and Gary copied her. They go back to Luan.

"See?"

"Come on Gary, try to catch me!" Luan ran off. "Isn't this fun Gary? Me running and you chasing me!" She stopped. "You're not chasing me."

Gary was still with Leni. "Come on Gary, let's go play a different game."

Luan looked upset. She jumped in front of Gary. "Look out, I'm right in front of-"

Gary went past her.

"-you. What's wrong with me?" Luan sniffed herself. "Do I offend?"

Gary began to crawl around Leni again as Leni laughed. Luan got an idea. She went to get something from her room and came back.

"Look Gary, I've got your favorite toy beanbag!"

Gary was still hanging out with Leni. Then Luan took out a carrot.

"Gary, look what I've got! A nice juicy carrot for you!"

Gary remained with Leni. Luan looked annoyed. Then she pretended to injure herself.

"Ow! Gary, I tripped and I might've sprained my ankle! I think I need a kiss to make it heal!"

Gary's still with Leni.

"Alright, that's it!" Luan went over to the two. "Gary, you stop this foolishness right now!"

Gary just stared.

"Gary the rabbit, answer me when I'm talking to you! You are coming with me right this instant!" Luan grabbed the rabbit and pulled him off Leni. "Say goodbye to Leni, Gary."

Luan walked away holding Gary as he looked back at Leni sadly.

"Hold it right there, Mother Luan Angry Loud." Leni said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know. But I do know that Gary knows who he wants to go with. So I suggest you put him down and let him choose."

"Fine." Luan set the rabbit down and turned him to her direction. "But I would like to remind him who it was that feed him, and housed him, and took care of him when he was sick, and gave him foot rubs when his feet were sore. Ok Gary, go ahead and show her. Come here Gary. Come to me boy. Come on."

Gary goes to Leni's direction. "Wrong way Gary. No Gary, turn around! Turn around! Don't do it Gary! Gary no!"

Luan sobs.

"Well, well, well," Leni said smugly. Gary crawled onto her. "I guess that answers that question. See ya Luan. Me and Gary have stuff to do."

The blonde and the bunny left.

Luan has tears in her eyes. "Fine! If that's how you wanna thank me...for all that I've done!"

* * *

Luan was in her room, sad about Gary leaving her. "I guess you're not coming back Gary."

"Dude, are you gonna be ok without Gary?"

Luan wiped her tears away. "I don't need Gary. I'll just get a new pet. Yeah, it'll be better than Gary."

"Good luck with that."

* * *

Leni was playing with Gary outside. Luan came back with a new pet, a monkey.

"Hey guys, I'd like you to meet my new pal Chimpy."

Chimps had his tongue sticking out and was panting.

"Not only is he loyal, but he knows tricks too. Watch and learn. Sit Chimpy sit."

Chimpy just stood there panting.

"Roll over Chimpy, roll over."

Chimpy still stood.

"Now stay Chimpy, stay. Good boy Chimpy. Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?"

Leni and Gary paid no attention to Luan and her pet as they continued to goof off.

"I'm sure glad we went our separate ways Gary." Luan said, trying to show her true feelings. "A monkey really is the pet for me. So loyal, so trusting, always by my side!"

Luan noticed that Chimpy was now on the other side of the street, waiting for a bus. He got on a bus and left.

* * *

"Who needs monkeys anyway?" Luan said, bringing another new pet in the house. The pet was in a cage. "Welcome home, newest best friend."

She opens the cage. "Come on out, don't be shy." A female rabbit comes out. She had a unibrow and bow in her hair. "You remind me of someone I once knew. A certain someone who's name will not be mentioned in this household. Come on, let me show you around Mary."

Mary followed her.

* * *

Luan had prepared dinner for Mary.

"Here's your dinner Mary." Luan said as she revealed her dinner. "Enjoy."

It was some rabbit food, served in Gary's bowl but the G in Gary's name was crossed out and replaced with an M. Mary sniffed it and growled. Luan took the bowl away.

"Ok, maybe later…"

* * *

In Luan and Luna's room, Luan showed Mary the top hat that Gary slept in. "This is where you'll be sleeping Mary."

Mary took the top hat and chewed it to pieces. She then went on Luan's bed.

"Uh, that's where I-"

Mary growled at her and then went to sleep.

"I guess you can sleep there." Luan said. "I'll sleep down here."

Luan laid on the floor. "Well, goodnight Mary."

Mary growled at her.

* * *

The next day, Mary is watching tv in the living room. Luan shows up.

"Hey Mary, wanna hear a joke? What do you get when you cross an insect with a rabbit? Bugs Bunny!" Luan laughed. "Get it?"

Mary growled and hopped away.

"Don't you get it Mary? It's a rabbit joke." Luan looked sad. "Gee, Mary sure is different than Gary."

She takes out a realistic toy bunny. "And Gary and Mary are real different than Jerry."

She goes to her room and took out a picture of Gary. "Oh Gary, why did you have to go?" She started sobbing. Leni showed up with Gary. She was holding her laundry.

"Hey Luan."

"Oh, hello Leni." Luan said bitterly. "Hello Gary."

"So we're doing laundry but I need to wash some of your clothes."

"Laundry? But we used to do laundry." Luan said sadly.

"And I heard you have soap."

"Soap? We used to use soap? Do you want Fresh scent or Heavy du-" Luan got all teary eyed.

"Here it comes." Leni said.

"Du-du-du-ty!!!" Luan's tears caused the bottles to bubble up. "Gary! Please come back to me Gary! I'm a wreck without you! I know, if you come to me there'll be a no rules rule. You can do whatever you want whenever."

She holds out a pie. "If you want dessert, I can get you all the desserts you want! And you don't have to wait around for me to feed you. You don't even have to use a bowl! And you can sleep wherever you want in here! And I know how much you like my prized driftwood carving of Mr. Grouse. Well, think of it as your own personal scratching post!"

Luan scratches the carving into the shape of a heart. "What do you think Gary? Won't it be fun Gary?"

"How pathetic." Leni said.

"Gary." Luan said sadly as she got big sad eyes. The heart shaped carving broke in half and the one half leaned against Luan.

Leni, Luan, and Gary headed into the basement. Leni now had on a robe since she needed to wash her dress, which was in the laundry basket.

"I'm sorry Luan, but Gary's with me now." Leni said. "You had your chance and you failed. You like, have to stop living in the past. Face it Luan, you're only hurting yourself." Leni dumped the pile of clothes into the washing machine. "It's what Gary wants and what Gary wants is me. Right Gary?"

Gary has gone into the washing machine.

"Gary?"

The sisters see that Gary is in the washing machine. He is inside Leni's dress.

"He only liked me for my dress!"

"No Leni, he wanted the lettuce in your dress." Luan pointed out.

Gary ate the lettuce and came out of the washing machine. He hopped to Luan.

"G-Gary?"

He burps and smiles at Luan. Luan was so happy.

"Oh Gary, I knew you'd never leave me!" She hugged him. "Come on Gary, let's go for a walk."

She put a leash on him and they walked out. Leni was left alone and she got all sad.

"Gary? I thought what we had was special!"


	46. Chapter 46: Lynn Sr vs Cooking Gadget

**Here's a chapter based on the episode: Spongebob vs The Patty Gadget. This is one of those few short episodes.**

* * *

Clyde was in his room. He got out a book titled "Legends of the Louds." He then noticed the viewers. "Oh, you're here. Today I'll be telling a story you won't soon forget. It's called Lynn Sr. Loud Vs The Cooking Gadget."

* * *

We cut to the Loud house and Clyde narrates the story.

 _Now Mr. Loud was working, his eye on the grill, till he heard a sharp sound that gave him a chill._

 _Lynn Sr. heads out of the kitchen. "What's going on? What could it mean?"_

 _Wow, it's a cooking machine._ A cooking machine came in through the front doors, startling the family. Lynn Sr. was surprised.

 _"And hiding behind it who do we see,"_

Lisa came in from behind.

 _"It's none other than Lisa smiling with glee."_

Rita walked up to Lisa. _"What is this contraption you've hauled into the place?"_

 _"A miracle, a marvel. It will cook any food at a fabulous pace."_

 _"But how is the food? I mean how do they taste?"_

 _"I'll let you try one. Shove this in your face." The machine prepared a grilled cheese sandwich and Lisa gave it Rita. Rita ate it._

 _"I have to admit, that sandwich was yummy. Though it sits like a rock when it lands in my tummy. But we've got a chef and he knows how to cook."_

 _"Ah, but this gizmo is faster and doesn't have to look."_

 _Rita was impressed. "Your machine sounds delightful and it doesn't have to look."_

 _"Indeed. And Father, you can quit being the cook."_

 _Mr. Loud was unhappy. The other kids excitedly told Lisa their orders and made it snappy._

 _Lynn said. "I want pizza!"_

 _Lana said. "I want rib on rye!"_

 _Luan said. "I want apple pie!"_

 _The machine wanted Mr. Loud's job, but Mr. Loud didn't like it. Not one bit. Lynn Sr. confronted Lisa to tell her what for._

 _"I challenge your gadget! I declare a cooking war!"_

 _In the backyard, Lynn Sr. had his stove out and Lisa had her cooking gadget as the two faced each other. The kids were there and so was the mother. With three little words, Mrs. Loud started the show. Flag raised in the air she cried-_

 _"Ready, set, go!"_

 _Quick as a flash, Lisa pulled the big lever. Then sat back and watched feeling also quite clever. Lynn Sr with a spatula in his fist, flung twenty patties. Not a single one missed. The family was impressed. They cheered full of glee. All except Leni, who had to go pee. A noise and a clatter came from the machine and out popped the patties in a burst of hot steam. The machine was fast, it's batch completed. But Lynn Sr. yelled out-_

 _"I won't be defeated!"_

 _Lynn Sr. got out pizza dough. He tossed it in the air and let it flow. He quickly added the ingredients and gave it some lovin', then he put the pizza in the ove._

 _"Not bad." Lisa said. "A really good try, but let's see how you do against my machine set on high."_

 _The gizmo cluttered, it clattered, it shook. And as Lisa laughed, Lucy said-_

 _"What a schnook."_

 _But ol Mr. Loud got out his veggies and said-_

 _"I won't lose to that thing!"_

 _And he took out two knives and leapt like a spring. He chopped up his vegetables and they went flying. He made a healthy salad without even trying. Lisa was worried. Her dad couldn't be beat._

 _"I've got one last chance, I'll turn up the heat!"_

 _She struggled and strained til her face turned dark blue. Then the lever moved forward and broke right in two. The gadget buckled and sparked, it cracked like a gun. So Lisa took off yelling-_

 _"Let me know if I've won!"_

 _Lightning flew from its maw, it looked ready to burst. But Mr. Loud still standing yelled-_

 _"I'll feast through your worst!"_

 _The food came flying, from meats to desserts. The family watched in awe and stay alerted. Boy, that machine was fast, but Lynn Sr. was faster. He'd prove to that thing that he was it's master. The machine blew into bits and died at the house. The blast was so loud it scared Mr. Grouse._

 _"Who's there?"_

 _It was all over, finished and done. With his head held up high, Lynn Sr. knew he had won. The crowd yelled "Hooray! Lisa's name is now mud!" But as they were cheering, Mr. Loud fell with a thud._

The family gasped in shock. We cut to a grave in the front yard.

 _The service was short, tears shed with regret. Lisa was the one who seemed most upset._

Lisa laid flowers on the grave and walked off crying. Then Lynn Sr. showed up and took off his chef hat, looking sad. Then he threw it off and cheered with happiness.

 _"What's that? You thought Mr. Loud was buried down there? No, they just buried the gadget. Hah, this I swear."_

* * *

Clyde finished reading. "Well, that ends my story straight from the book. Now I wanna be a better cook."


	47. Chapter 47: The Better Gender

**Here's a Loud House parody of the Spongebob episode: Pressure. This is the first chapter that involves the character, Stella. I had a idea for what I could do with her, Lincoln and their friends for this parody, so I hope you enjoy this.**

* * *

It's the weekend. Lincoln and his friend Stella are relaxing at the park. They're laying in the grass, looking up at the clouds.

"You know Lincoln, it's nice to get the weekend off from school." Stella said.

"Yeah, and to relax." Lincoln said.

"Yep. Relax."

Lincoln pointed up. "Ooh! You know what that cloud looks like?"

Stella saw it. "A cloud?"

"No, it looks like a cloud car."

"I guess it kinda does." Then Stella sees a mountain. "I'd offer to race you up to that mountain over there but I don't wanna miss a second of this beautiful beauty."

"Me neither. Besides, who wants to get all dirty anyway?"

"And sweaty. Besides, I think we'd know who would get to the top first."

"Yeah."

"Me." Lincoln and Stella said in unison, which surprised them.

"That's funny Stella, it sounded like you said you could beat me in a climbing contest."

"Of course I can." Stella replied, getting up. "I'm a natural born climber. And so are most of the other girls in our gym class."

Lincoln got up and laughed. "Oh please, it's boys who have more finger strength cause of all that heavy lifting."

He flexes his finger muscles. "What do you say to that, Miss Lady?"

Stella had already started climbing. "I'd say I'm already halfway there!"

"Hey!" Lincoln ran to the mountain and started climbing. "No fair Stella, you got a head start!"

"Well, you should have been more alert!" Stella said, using an axe to climb up. She made the big rock that Lincoln was climbing on collapse but he went on another rock.

"Hey! You did that on purpose!"

"Yep, but this was an accident!" She causes more rocks to fall. They knock Lincoln down. "Too bad you didn't bring your umbrella!"

"I did!" Lincoln floated up the mountain with his umbrella. He laughed, thinking he won but it turns out Stella got up there before him as she sat in a chair.

"It's about time you got here." She said.

"But I thought- you were-but but-I want a rematch!" Lincoln spotted the Burping Burger from the top. "First one to the Burping Burger is a winner."

"You can't outrun me. I always beat you in the race track at gym class."

"Well, I'm a lot faster when there's a burger involved. Think you can keep up?"

"Why don't you ask my behind? That is if you can catch it! What do you say to that, Mr. Manly?"

"I'd say I'm already halfway there, halfway there, halfway there!" It's shown that Lincoln's voice was coming from a record player. Stella was surprised.

"Hey!"

Lincoln had gotten down from the mountain and ran off to the Burping Burger. He laughed but then bumped into a brick wall and fell. Stella caught up with him and jumped on his body and over the wall.

"Thanks for the lift!" She ran to the Burping Burger and made it inside. "You see! I told you you wouldn't-"

Then Lincoln appeared with a beard and cane appeared in front of her. He spoke in an old man's voice. "There you are. Isn't that just like a girl to keep a boy waiting." He tore off his beard. "Just messing with ya."

"I thought you wanted a rematch." Stella said.

"I did. And I took a head start like you did."

"Well I was just fooling with you that time, but I guess you boys don't have to play fair."

"I guess we don't, nail polisher."

"Loogie hawker."

"Hair braider."

"Wind breaker."

"Pony lover!"

"Booger picker!"

Lincoln gasped. "Take that back you...not manly person!"

"Aha! You can't even come up with another name. That proves it."

"Proves what?"

"That girls are better than boys."

Then Rusty came over to them with a burger in his hand as he overheard their conversation. "Better at what?"

"Oh, almost everything, I guess." Stella bragged. "Baking, hair grooming, gymnastics, cheerleading."

Zach came over. "What's she blabbering about?"

"She says girls are best." Rusty stated.

"Only cause it's true." Stella said. "We're best at fashion designing, having good hygiene, being active. You guys got it good with manual labor, but we've got singing, dancing, modeling, ice skating-"

By now, Clyde and Liam came over and all five boys glared at Stella.

"And definitely name calling."

"Don't forget about nagging." Zach said.

"Ooooooh! Nice one Zach! High Five!" Lincoln and Zach high fived.

"I'll admit you have some good moves, but you're still just a girl."

The boys laughed.

"Girls can do anything they want."

"I bet you can't eat a Double Burping Deluxe in one bite." Rusty said and he stuffed one in his mouth. He managed to swallow it too.

"Gimme that." Stella got a big burger and tried to eat, but it splattered onto her face. The boys laughed.

"Thank you, thank you." Rusty said.

"Well, that's just one thing." Stella said, wiping the food off her face.

"Can you do this?" Clyde blew a snot bubble with his nose. "My Dads taught me how to do that."

Stella looked disgusted, but tried to do it.

"How about this?" Liam lassoed Zach, and he did facing backwards.

"Or this?" Zach cracked different bones in his body.

"Can you make armpit music?" Lincoln made armpit noises to match a music beat.

"No!"

"But most importantly, can you do this?" Lincoln and the boys inhaled and then let out a loud belch.

"Well, why would I wanna do anything of that dumb stuff anyway?"

"Admit it Stella." Lincoln said. "You can't do anything us boys can do. In fact, there's a dessert item here that only boys can handle. It's called the Bad Burping Sundae Surprise."

"Is that so? Well, I want to try it to prove you wrong!"

"You're crazy girl." Rusty said.

"I bet you guys are trying psyche me out, but I'll show you!"

The boys laughed at her. Stella glared at them and walked up to the counter to order the dessert. "Hey you, I'd like to order the Bad Burping Sundae Surprise."

The employee was surprised. Soon, she got her order and was seated at a table, ready to eat. The sundae was green, brown, and white. It also had unusual toppings like anchovies, pickles, and tartar sauce.

"Enjoy, or not." The worker said and left.

The five boys watched as Stella looked nervous.

"Well, go ahead. Eat it." Lincoln said smiling.

"Wait, how do I know you guys have tried this yourselves?" Stella asked with suspicion.

"Because we all have our "I ate a surprise sundae at Burping Burger" button." Lincoln stated as the boys all showed their buttons they got.

"...I see." Stella said. "Ok, here goes."

She started eating. She took a few bites but then she looked nauseated.

"Is it too gross for you?" Lincoln questioned.

Stella shook her head.

"Keep eating then." Liam said.

Stella took another bite and her face turned dark green. She felt her stomach gurgling. She couldn't hold it in any longer and rushed to the restroom to throw up. Then she came out and groaned. The boys laughed at her.

"Stop laughing at me!"

"Ah knew it!" Liam said. "There was no way some girl was gonna win that challenge against a boy!"

"Yeah, even Lynn and Lana couldn't eat that stuff." Lincoln said.

"Boys rule!" The five boys cheered.

"Alright! You all had your fun," Stella said. "But now it's my turn. You guys think you're such hot stuff, with your burping and farting. But none of you men could last with my challenge."

"And what's your challenge?" Clyde asked.

"You'll find out." Stella said. "Just follow me."

Stella walked in front of them and they followed.

"Are you gonna make us wear makeup?" Rusty jokes.

"Ah reckon she'll make us read Princess Pony." Liam said.

The boys laughed as they followed Stella out of the restaurant.

* * *

They group arrived at the Royal Woods mall. Inside, Stella led the boys to a section of the mall as they kept laughing. They stopped and saw where they were in front of.

"The perfume department?" Lincoln said. The boys looked nervous.

"Well, so are you going in or not?" Stella asked.

"Oh, well, uh we can't because-" Zach started.

"We're late for-" Clyde said.

"Our fitting." Rusty said.

"Oh you mean your chicken costumes?" Stella teases.

Rusty was eating popcorn but he threw it on the ground. "Hey, we are not chicken! My popcorn!" He then pecked the popcorn like a chicken.

"Yeah, we're not chicken!" Lincoln said. "We'll do it!"

Lincoln stuck his foot in through the doorway of the department. "There. Mission accomplished."

"Look, unless you can stay in the perfume department for one measly minute, you forfeit the contest and prove that girls are better than boys."

"No way Stella." Lincoln said. "We can take on your challenge."

"Yeah!" The boys agreed.

"We're not afraid of your dumb perfume smell!"

"Yeah!"

"We're boys!"

"Yeah!"

But Lincoln was pushed to the front.

"You're going first." Rusty said.

"Ok...well, this is it."

"Good luck Lincoln." Clyde said.

"Thanks Clyde. (gulps) Ok, here I go!" Lincoln ran into the perfume department. As expected, there was bunch of perfume all around the place. He sniffed the air. "Hey, this isn't so bad! We can do this!" He stuck his head out the door. "Hey Clyde, come in here! The perfume smells great!"

"I'm gonna do it quick and get it over with!" Clyde said. "Here I Come!"

He goes inside with Lincoln. "Hey Lincoln."

"Hi Clyde, you made it! Come inside Liam!"

"For the boys!" Liam cried. "I'm comin fellas!"

Liam charged inside.

"Good job Liam!" Lincoln said. "Your turn Rusty!"

"Ah, What the heck." Rusty ran inside. "Ooh, So this is where the ladies get their good scent."

"Yep, and Zach is last one left." Lincoln said. "Come inside Zach!"

The boys called Zach.

"Well, I'll do it but I won't like it." Zach said and walked inside. "Hmm, it smells like my mom's room."

The five boys walked further inside.

"This is pretty easy." Zach admitted.

"I could stay here longer if I wanted to." Clyde said.

"Sure smells better than the inside of a barn." Liam commented.

"We can totally survive in here." Lincoln assured.

Then the boys reached a huge bottle of perfume.

"Whoa, look at the size of this thing." Lincoln said.

Rusty noticed a button on it. "I wonder what this does." He presses it.

Outside the of the shop, Stella checked the time. "Well, look at that. They made it. Better go congratulate them."

She walked inside. "Guys, where are you?"

They boys had gotten sprayed by the huge perfume bottle that Rusty activated.

"Too much perfume!" Clyde coughed.

"I can't breathe!" Lincoln cried.

"Ah can't see!" Liam coughed.

Stella found them. "Guys, I'm over here!"

"Stella?" Rusty said.

They boys follow the sound of voice through the foggy perfume scent.

"You're getting warmer!"

They found Stella.

"You guys ok?"

"We're fine." Lincoln said. "Now let's get out of here."

* * *

The friends are walking through the mall.

"Thanks for getting us out of there Stella." Lincoln said.

"You know, everyone's best at something." Stella said.

"But nobody's best at everything." Lincoln added. "Sorry I made you eat that sundae Stella."

"Sorry I made you go in the perfume department Lincoln."

"Let's celebrate being sorry for ourselves with a round of ice cream!" Liam suggested.

"Yeah!" Everyone cheered as they headed for a restaurant in the mall.

"And this time I'll order one that's edible." Stella said.


	48. Chapter 48: Giant Sister Lori

**And now here's a parody of the episode: Giant Squidward**

* * *

Lori started off her usual morning. She woke up and got dressed.

"Lori, you are literally perfect." She said as she looked in the bathroom mirror. After breakfast, she checked her to do list on her phone.

"Let's see...since Mom is at work, I'm in charge of taking care of her plants."

She goes outside to the front yard and sees the plants have wilted. "Oh no, Mom's plants have wilted. Don't worry, I know just the thing to perk you up."

She pulls out Mom's plant growth spray. "Plant grow. Hold still."

She sprays the plants, making them stand up and grow. She sniffs them and then Luan appears next to her, getting in her face.

"They're pretty."

Lori screams. "Luan!"

"And Leni." Leni is seen next to Lori.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Luan is helping me do good deeds, like trimming the plant garden."

Luan uses a hedge spear to trim some of the plants.

"Stop cutting Mom's plants!" Lori shouted and pushed Luan away.

"Ok, ok, geez. Just trying to help a sister out." Luan takes out a chocolate bar. "I'll just have to eat this chocolate bar instead."

"Oh, do you like chocolate Luan?"

"Yeah."

"Well, have some more." Lori sprayed her chocolate bar and it grew bigger. Luan fell over due to the weight of the candy bar. Lori laughed.

"Still want that chocolate?"

"Boy, I do! Thanks Lori."

Lori looked annoyed.

"Do you want some Leni?"

Leni takes a bite out of the candy bar. Luan takes a bite.

"You want some Lori?"

"No thanks."

"Gee, I sure wish I had a bottle of that plant growth stuff." Leni said.

Luan took the spray from Lori and handed it Leni. "Here you go."

"Hey!"

"Thank you Luan. You know, my sandals feel a bit tight." Leni takes them off and sprays them, making them grow. She puts her sandals back on. "Ah, that's better. Nice and roomy."

Luan took the spray back and turned to Lori. "Do you want your spray back?"

"Oh, no. Mom only paid for it." Lori said sarcastically. "I wouldn't want to deprive you of it."

"Ok."

"Give it!" Lori tried to take it but Luan kept it out of her reach.

"But you said you didn't want it."

"Fine. Why don't you two go use it for your good deeds?"

"That's a great idea Lori." Leni said.

"Yeah." Luan agreed. "I'll go first."

Luan sprayed Lori's hair, causing it to grow longer. Her bangs covered her eyes.

"Aah! I can't see a thing!" Lori said.

"Wow, I can HAIR-ly believe this." Luan jokes. "Quite an improvement, don't you think?"

"Oh yes, I completely agree." Leni said. "Come on Luan, let's do some good deeding!"

The two sisters run off with the plant grow spray.

"Hey!" Lori called. She lifted up her bangs. "Come back here and fix my hair!"

Leni and Luan run into Geo the hamster. (Leni is now wearing normal sized sandals)

"Hey Geo, that ball of yours looks a little cramped." Leni sprays the ball and it grows to a huge size. "There. Now you've got plenty of space."

Luan and Leni run off. Lori comes by and sees Geo's big ball.

"So they got you too huh?"

Geo squeak talks to Lori.

"Tell me about it." Lori goes off to catch up with her sisters.

* * *

Leni and Luan are hiding behind a bush, watching Flip walk by.

"There he is." Leni said.

"Get ready." Luan said.

Flip was tossing a penny in the air.

"Now Luan!" Luan attaches springs to Leni's sandals. Leni leaps up as Flip tosses his coin up. She sprays the penny. Flip notices the giant penny and attempts to run but gets crushed by it. Leni comes down.

"There you go Flip."

"You always wanted to make BIG money." Luan jokes.

An audience groaned at her joke.

"Good deed accomplished." Leni said. "I ask for no rewards."

"You're a saint Leni. A saint!"

"I know. And it is a burden I must carry. But time's a wastin. We need another good deed."

"Oh, I know. Maybe we can make bigger wheels for Vanzilla."

"And then make longer dresses."

"And Big whoopie cushions."

Then Lori had caught to Leni and Luan.

"Hey."

Leni was still chatting with Luan.

"Hey!"

Leni and Luan saw Lori with her long hair.

"Look at what you did to me! You better fix my hair or I'm telling Mom!"

"Are you sure?" Leni said.

"You won't be as pretty." Luan added.

"Yes, I'm sure." Lori said.

"Hmm, how do I fix her hair?" Leni thought.

"Turn the bottle upside down and maybe it'll shrink her hair." Luan suggested.

"Luan, that's brilliant!"

"No, wait!" Lori said but Leni sprayed her hair again and it just grew longer.

"It didn't work."

"Hmm, you should just even her out." Luan said.

"Ok, first a bigger head." Leni sprayed Lori's head and she coughed. Her head grew bigger.

"Now her body's too small." Luan said.

"Right. Too small." Leni sprayed Lori's body and it got wider.

"Her arms are too small."

Leni sprays Lori's arms.

"Legs are too small."

Leni sprays Lori's legs.

"Other arm."

Luan sprays Lori's left arm.

"Feet too small."

Leni sprays Lori's feet.

"Teeth."

Leni sprays Lori's teeth.

"Bellybutton."

Leni sprays Lori's bellybutton.

"Perfect!" Luan said.

Lori was now taller and bigger, with other changes in her appearance. "I look horrible!"

"Yeah, maybe we should have left you the way you were before." Leni said.

"You think?" Then Lori started shaking. "W-what's happening?"

Lori grew into a more gigantic size as her sisters watched surprised.

"Alright!" They cheered.

"What did you do to me?!"

"I guess you can say you've gone from big sister to giant sister!" Luan said.

"A giant monster sister!" Leni added.

"I don't wanna be a giant lumbering monster!" Lori snapped. "What'll I do now?"

"That's easy!" Leni said. "Play giant lumbering monster tag!"

"Yeah, you chase us!" Luan added.

"And we run around and scream like crazy! Try and catch us giant monster Lori!"

Leni and Luan run away.

"LENI, get back here!!" Lori shouted. She chased after her younger sisters, who ran further into town.

Leni screamed. "This is really fun!"

Luan screamed. "I know. We should do this (screams) more often!"

They both screamed. Lori chases them into town as the citizens took notice of her.

"Monster!" Yelled the old lady named Scoots. She rode away with her scooter. More people started to panic as Lori ran through town.

"MONSTER!"

Villagers ran out with torches and pitchforks. One man in a suit took notice of this and took a torch out of his briefcase before joining the others. Lori had finally caught her siblings in her hand. She was sweating and angry.

"Wow Lori, you're very good at pretending." Leni said. "Look how you're all sweaty and angry. And you got the whole town to play along!"

Lori noticed the townspeople surrounding her. "What the-"

"Let's shave her hair!" One citizen yelled.

"Scoop out her eyeballs and use them as...giant soccer balls!" Yelled another citizen.

Then one kid appeared with a book in her hand. "Wait! Maybe she's a nice monster like in my story book."

There was a short silence. One man spoke. "Oh..yeah. I hadn't thought of that. Well, are ya?"

"Oh, like totes yes!" Leni responded. "Lori is the nicest giant of them all!"

"Yeah!" Luan said. "Tell them about the time you didn't turn us into human pretzels!"

"Even though you really wanted to."

"QUIET YOU TWERPS!!!" Lori yelled.

The people gasped.

"He hurt their feelings." One lady said.

"Why, that's not very nice at all." Another woman said.

"Take her down boys!" A man ordered.

A group of men pushed a catapult towards Lori's foot. A rake was aimed at her foot. Lori screamed in pain and held her sore foot as she hopped backwards. Citizens laid down another rake behind her. Lori bumped into it, causing it to hit her and make her fall over.

"This outta fix her!" The man stuck a big pencil up her nose. Lori was now tied to the ground.

"Ok, ok, I'm nice!" Lori said. "Now will you all leave me alone?"

"Oh yeah, prove it!" One citizen said.

"Yeah, are you nice enough to compliment me on my new hairdo?" A woman with an Afro asked.

"Uh, yeah sure. Whatever." Lori said.

"Oh, thank you."

"Will you let the Bluebell scouts camp under your toenails?" The scout leader asked.

Lori let the scouts sleep under her toenails.

"Let me have a good view of the town?" One hiker said.

Lori took the hiker and held him up high.

"So this is what it feels like to be tall."

Another citizen needed Lori. "Can you blow on my old windmill?"

Lori blowed on it and it spun.

* * *

Lori got more requests.

"Help me with my homework?" One boy asked.

"Clean my house?" A woman asked.

"Feed my dog?" Another boy asked.

All these deeds made Lori exhausted.

"Wow, this giant really is friendly after all." One teenage girl said.

"Yeah, she taught my grandma how to drive." One teenage boy said.

"She made a fur coat for me." One woman said, wearing part of Lori's hair as a coat.

"She helped me build a-a-a-Choo!" A man sneezed. Everyone said blush you except Lori.

"Ahem!"

"What?" Lori said.

The people gasped.

"She didn't say bless you." One woman said.

"Get her!" The citizens charged after Lori. Lori ran away and hide behind a building. The citizens stopped.

"Where'd she go?"

"Is that her over there?" A man asked.

"Uh...I'm a statue." Lori said.

The townspeople were dumb enough to believe that.

"Oh, ok. Let's go look over there!"

The citizens ran off and Lori sneaked away.

* * *

Lori made it to her house. She got touched it but got shocked by an electric force. "Ow! I guess I'm not welcome here anymore."

Lori walks off feeling sad. "I guess this is my new life.

She finds a mountain to sleep on. "And this is your new bed." She starts to tear up. "Goodbye old life, I'll miss you."

"Goodnight Lori."

Lori heard Leni's voice. "Where are you?"

"In here!"

Lori lifted her shirt up to find Leni and Luan.

"Luan and I are having a sleepover in your belly button."

The two siblings are using lint as blankets.

"Get outta there!" Lori took the two out. "You two have literally ruined my life!"

Lori began to cry as her sisters looked guilty. They were taken away by a stream of tears.

"Luan, this is terrible." Leni said. "Lori didn't like the kindness we did for her."

"But what can we do to fix it?"

"We shall do her another!"

* * *

The next day, Leni, Luan, and the other family members went off to find a giant Lori. They were surprised (except Leni and Luan) to see her like this.

"Lori, there you are!" Rita said.

"We're glad you're ok." Lynn Sr. said.

"Leni and Luan informed us about what happened." Lisa said. "And I've got the shrink ray right here to turn you back to your normal size."

"Consider this as a new kindness from us." Leni said.

Lisa shrinks Lori back to her normal size.

"Yay! I'm back to normal!" Lori said happily.

"Well, I'm glad we got this problem fixed." Rita said as she took out the plant spray. "That plant growth spray is some powerful stuff."

"Can I see that?" Lynn Sr took the spray and used it on his hair. He grew a full head of hair. "I feel young again!"

"Looking good honey."


	49. Chapter 49: Southern Jokes

**Here's a parody of the episode: Squirrel Jokes**

* * *

It's another comedy night at the Chortle Portal. A man in a suit is seen onstage.

"Alright, everybody settle down." He said. "Welcome to the Chortle Portal."

He puts on a arrow on his head. Everyone laughs. "Now please give a warm welcome to our first comedian, Luan Loud!"

The man walks offstage and Luan comes out from the curtain, wearing her clown outfit. "Good evening folks, I'm gonna skip the jokes and get right to the part where I throw pies at you."

Everyone gets out their umbrellas and Luan throws pies at them. Lincoln looks from behind the curtain and gets splattered with a pie. He laughs.

"I hope I do as good as Luan."

Lincoln got himself a comedy gig here as he was following in her sister's footsteps. He had gave himself a different hairstyle and a bow tie. Luan goes backstage. "Man, those people will laugh at anything. Hey, don't sweat it little bro. I got them all warmed up for you."

The audience is laughing.

"Put your hands together for Lincoln Loud!" Said the announcer.

Lincoln comes out.

"Go get em, Lincoln!" Liam encouraged. Clyde cheered for him as well. Liam gave Lincoln a thumbs up and Lincoln gave one back to them.

"Hey hey hey ladies and gentlemen." Lincoln said as he spoke into a microphone. "Have you ever noticed salt and pepper shakers? What if they were a couple? Would they be called seppers or palts? You know I'm talking about?"

Nobody laughed. A cricket is heard chirping.

"And what's the deal with ketchup?" Lincoln chuckles nervously and the crowd is still silent. "We use it as condiments but is it actually blood or...is blood actually ketchup? But what does that make mustard?" He chuckles nervously.

"Oh brother, THIS GUY STINKS!" One guy yelled out.

"Hey, funny guy!" Another guy said. "I've got a joke for you! What smells rotten and puts people to sleep?"

"Um, Dutch ovens?"

"No! Your act!"

The audience laughs. Lincoln sweated nervously.

"Uh...did you ever notice forks-"

"Forks? Boo!" The audience was clearly unamused.

 _"Quick Lincoln, make a witty observation_ Lincoln thought. He looked at his two friends. Clyde sank in his chair nervously but Liam smiled at Lincoln.

"Have you ever noticed that southern people have a funny accent?" Lincoln said, making a joke about Liam. The crowd chuckles.

"That's true." One guy said.

"Huh?" Liam said.

"I mean, where do they get their education?" Lincoln joked. "The school for bumpkins?"

The crowd laughs more.

"Southern people always leave the front doors open, even on a cold day. Were they born in a barn? Oh wait, that's exactly where they were born!"

The crowd laughs harder.

"Born in a barn. Good one!" Clyde laughed. Liam smiled uneasily.

"And they smell too!" Lincoln said. "But hey, you'd smell too if you played in the mud with pigs!"

Liam chuckles uneasily as the crowd laughs some more. Lincoln laughs too.

"Hey, why does it take more than one southern to change a lightbulb?"

"Why?" Someone asked.

"Because they're so dang stupid!"

The audience laughed once again. Clyde laughed.

"That's a good one, eh Liam?"

"Uh, heh, yeah."

Lincoln goes backstage. The comedian host comes back.

"That was fantastic kid! You really knocked them out! I've decided to make you the headliner!"

"Wow, a headliner!" Lincoln said surprised. "What does the headliner do?"

"The headliner's the one who gets to clean up after the show." The host said, giving Lincoln a mop.

"Well, at least I don't have to clean up my act." Lincoln joked.

"Stick with the southern jokes kid. Now get busy." The host said and walked away.

Lincoln began to mop the floor. "Mops, mops, mops. What's the deal with those things?"

He bumps into Liam, who looks cross.

"Oh, hey Liam."

"Howdy Lincoln."

"Did you like the show?"

"Well actually, no Lincoln. Those jokes are hurtful and you know it."

"Come on Liam. I was just joking. I mean you're a great guy. We all gotta laugh at ourselves once in a while. Luan does it all the time."

"It's true." Luan said as she heard the conversation. She got out a mirror and started laughing at herself. Liam chuckled.

"You're right Lincoln." He said. "Ah was being a little too sensitive. No hard feelings."

The boys hugged.

* * *

The next day, Liam was doing some shopping. He found deodorant.

"Let's see, should I get citrus orange or fresh mint?"

A couple walked by and heard him.

"I think he should buy both." The man said to his woman. They snickered and walked off.

"Huh?"

"Hey, it's the stupid southern!" One teenage boy said to his friends. "Let's try to communicate with it!"

The boys mocked Liam. "Duuuuuuuuuuh!" The laughed and walked away. Liam walked off annoyed. He saw a little boy in front of him.

"Hey there little feller."

His mom took him by the arm. "Don't stand too close honey. You'll catch it stupid."

"Ok mom." The boy said and they walked away.

"Stupidity ain't a virus." Liam said. "But it sure is spreading like one."

* * *

"Lincoln! Lincoln!" The crowd chanted Lincoln's name as it was another night at the Chortle Portal. Lincoln was backstage preparing for his comedy act.

"Southerns, They're stupid." He said to himself in the mirror.

Liam came backstage. "Hey, uh, Lincoln."

"Hey Liam."

"Look, I need to talk to you about them southern jokes."

"We already talked about it, remember?" Lincoln started laughing at himself in the mirror. Liam got his attention.

"Lincoln, this is serious. Since you've been telling those jokes, people have been treating me different."

Clyde comes backstage. "Hey Lincoln, five minutes." He sees Liam and speaks to him in a slow tone.

"Hey Liam, me Clyde. Do you understand?"

Liam gives him an annoyed look.

"Southerns." Clyde leaves.

"You see?" Liam said to Lincoln. "That's what I'm talking about."

"Oh that's just Clyde. He's just funning with you."

"I'm just saying as a friend, please lay off them southern jokes, ok? Tell some of your other jokes."

"Other jokes?" Lincoln thought about a fork. "Yeah, I've got a million of them."

"Thanks Lincoln, Ah knew you'd understand."

Liam goes offstage as Lincoln looks nervous. The crowd was still chanting Lincoln's name.

"Put your hands together for Lincoln Loud!" The host announced.

The crowd cheered. Lincoln came out.

"Uh, hi." He said nervously into the microphone. "Did you hear about the thief who went to the comedy club? He stole the spotlight."

Lincoln chuckled weakly but the crowd didn't laugh.

"What did he say?" One guy said.

"I guess you've heard that one before."

"Ah haven't heard it before!" Liam said, being supportive. "Good one Lincoln!"

"Thank you. You're too kind. Hey, what about the air? I mean, that stuff's everywhere."

"Tell the one about the southern and the lightbulbs!" Clyde said.

"Hey, what about this thing?" Lincoln pulled out a rubber chicken. "Huh? Huh?"

"Get on with the southern jokes!" One guy yelled.

Now the crowd was chanting southern jokes. Lincoln grew nervous and looked back at Liam,who waved back at him.

 _"What do I do?"_ Lincoln thought. _"Lincoln, you've got a choice to make. Your friends or your career?"_

Lincoln dropped the mic and the crowd gasped. Liam was also surprised. Lincoln went backstage and then popped out from the curtains wearing a southern cowboy hat.

"Howdy ya'll!"

The crowd cheered louder than before.

"Why does it more than one southern to screw in a light bulb?" Lincoln asked in a southern accent.

"Because they're so dang stupid!"

Lincoln played a banjo badly as he continued to make jokes about southerns. Liam glared at him.

"But seriously folks, I want to give a special thanks to my friend Liam!"

The spotlight was shining on Liam, who was still angry.

"Don't you see Liam? The crowd loves these jokes." Lincoln turned to the audience. "Am I right?"

The crowd cheers.

Lincoln turned back to Liam. "See Liam, we're laughing with you, not at you. Do you understand now Liam? Liam?"

"Oh, Ah understand exactly what's going on Lincoln." Liam said bitterly.

"Great. I knew you would." Lincoln turned back to the crowd. "What a great sport. Let's give a big hand to Liam! But clap slow because remember, he's a southern!"

The crowd claps and cheers. Lincoln smiles.

"Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience and goodnight!" Lincoln goes backstage and over to his mirror. "Another spectacular performance, Lincoln."

He sees a letter on the mirror. "Ooh, what's this? A fan letter?" He reads it. _"You were right Lincoln. Those jokes are funny. Come over to the farm to celebrate. From Liam._ You did Lincoln. You get to keep your career and your friends."

* * *

The next day, Lincoln arrived at Liam's farm with a basket of sandwiches. He knocked on the door. "I'm glad that Liam can finally see the genius of my comedy."

Someone opened the door.

"Good afternoon Liam." Lincoln said. Then he noticed Liam looked different. He was dressed like a hillbilly with overalls, no shoes, and a cowboy hat. He also smelled bad and had a dumb look on his face.

"Well hoooooooooooowdy!"

"Liam, are you feeling alright?" Lincoln questioned.

"Just being mah natural southern self." Liam said. He picked his nose. Lincoln looked uncomfortable. "Well, come on in."

They walked into the kitchen.

"You must be tired from telling those funny jokes all the time." Liam said. "Why don't you take a load off?"

Liam pushed Lincoln onto a sticky chair.

"Uh Liam, I think something's wrong with this seat."

"Nah, Ah just put glue on it so you wouldn't fall off." Liam held out a paint bucket and paintbrush. "Did you prepare lunch for us? I'm starved!"

He takes the basket and dumps the food on himself and making a mess. "Oh wait, did you want any of those sandwiches? Here."

He shoves one in Lincoln's face. "Let me get you some mustard for that sandwich."

He gets a mustard bottle and squirts mustard onto Lincoln.

"Oops, my bad. I've gotten you all messy." Liam takes off Lincoln's shirt. "Let me wash your shirt for you."

"Liam, wait, i-"

"Don't worry, I'll have your shirt cleaned up good as new."

Liam went outside and put Lincoln's shirt in the mud, making it more dirty. Liam saw this.

"Liam, what are you doing?" Lincoln said surprised.

"Giving your shirt a mud bath." Liam said stupidly. "Now time for a rinse."

Liam left Lincoln's shirt in the mud. Lincoln took it back and Liam returned with a hose.

"Yep, a southern sure is stupid." Liam sprayed water onto Lincoln.

"Aah! Ok Liam, I get it!"

"What's that? You want more? Okie pokie!More water for the white haired boy!"

Liam sprayed Lincoln with full blast and was sent flying.

"Ok Liam, I get it! I get it!" Lincoln lands in a mud pit.

"No more southern jokes." He groaned.

* * *

Another night at the Chortle Portal. The crowd was once again excited to see Lincoln. Lincoln came out. "Thank you. Thank you very much. Now on my way here I ran into a southern kid."

He smiled at Liam, who smiled back at him.

"And I said hey, why don't you go invite your southern friends over so we can go change a light bulb?"

The audience cheered.

"But seriously folks, the only thing dumber than a southern person is a white haired person."

The crowd was silent.

"I mean, we're so dumb we use permanent white paint as a hair dye."

The crowd laughs at this. Flip is seen laughing too.

"That store owner Flip, he's so cheap he can hardly pay attention!"

"It's true!" Flip agreed. "I am cheap!"

"And then there's my best friend Clyde." Lincoln mentioned. "He gets a nosebleed every time he sees my oldest sister. Someone who nosebleeds that much could become a one person blood bank."

The crowd laughed harder at this, as well as Clyde and Luan. Lincoln gave Liam a thumbs up and Liam gave one back.

"And don't even get me started on my sister Luan."


	50. Chapter 50: Ace Savvy & One Eyed 3

**Here is my 50th chapter! A Loud House version of the episode: Mermaidman and Barnacleboy 3**

* * *

 _The new adventures of Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack! We see Royal Woods noblest, boldest, oldest superheroes as they bravely prepare for vacation._

Ace Savvy and Jack are seen packing their suitcases.

 **Fold!**

 **Pack!**

 _But wait! While our heroes relax at Leisure Island, who will watch their secret liar?_

* * *

Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack are standing in front of the entrance. Jack opens it.

"White haired man!" Lincoln comes in.

"Four eyed boy!" Clyde comes in.

"And Leni!" Leni comes in.

"Reporting for duty!" The three kids said in unison.

"Wait, who's that?" Jack asked, pointing at Leni.

"This is my older sister Leni." Lincoln said. "She wanted to tag along and meet you guys in person."

"Hi." She said.

"Yeah, hi." Jack said. "Ok, follow me."

"Up, up, and away!" The kids followed Jack. Ace has fallen asleep but then woke up.

"Evil!"

One Eyed Jack is giving the kids instructions. "Now I want you kids to keep an eye on the place. Water the plants and-"

"Oh my gosh guys!" Lincoln and the kids saw a wall filled with superhero gadgets. "This is the greatest wall of superhero gadgetry ever! I'm gonna play with the cosmic ray!"

"I get the Savvy glove!"

Lincoln and Clyde rush to the wall but Ace Savvy stops them. "Hold on there boys! You cannot play with this stuff!"

"What about the globe of dizziness?" Lincoln spun a globe and he immediately got dizzy. Ace stopped it.

"Oh no. Prolonged exposure to the globe of dizziness will make you...dizzy."

"What about the invisible convertible?" Clyde said, touching the invisible vehicle.

"Ooh, an invisible convertible?" Leni said amazed. "Where?"

"Especially not the invisible convertible!" One Eyed Jack warned. "When we say don't touch anything, we mean don't touch anything! Do you understand?"

"Loud and clear trusty sidekick companion!" Lincoln, Leni, and Clyde said.

"Great. Here are the keys." Jack handed Lincoln the keys and then headed out the front door with suitcases. "We'll see you in a week."

Ace Savvy followed him, carrying a suitcase too. "Up, up, and away!"

"Come on guys, while our heroes are away, we will keep evil out of the way!" Lincoln ordered and went off. Clyde and Leni followed. Then Clyde saw something that terrified him.

"Mi...Mi...Mi...Mi...Mi...Mi...Mi-"

Lincoln and Leni noticed how Clyde was acting.

"What's wrong buddy?"

"Mi...Mi...Mi...Mi...Mi." Clyde continued.

Lincoln and Leni saw what Clyde was looking at, which made Lincoln terrified as well.

"Mi...Mi...Mi...Mi...Mi…" Lincoln and Clyde stuttered. "Mi...Mi...Mi...Mi...Mi! Miss Red Diamond!"

There was a lady frozen in a block of something. She looked villainous and looked like an older Lola. She was wearing a black diamond mask, dressed in a white suit, black gloves, and black boots. Lincoln and Clyde hid and Leni looked at the frozen female.

"Uh, guys? Who is this Red Diamond lady?"

"She's one of Ace Savvy's rivals!" Lincoln explained. The three kids then noticed she wasn't moving.

"Like, why is she not chasing us?" Leni wondered.

"Looks like she's frozen or something." Lincoln witnessed.

"Fro...fro...fro...fro...fro.." Clyde stuttered.

Lincoln felt the frozen substance. "Hmm, it appears to be some kind of frozen prison chamber-" He licked it. "-made out of frozen strawberry yogurt."

He climbed on the frozen chamber. "This is incredible! Next to the Talking Trash Eater, the evil Red Diamond is the all time greatest arch nemesis of Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack! I have so many questions to ask her!"

Then the frozen yogurt began to melt. It's shown that Leni pulled a lever down to UNFREEZE. Lincoln came down.

"Leni, what are you doing? We're not supposed to touch anything!"

"But you said you had a question."

"We could get in trouble."

While the two siblings were arguing, the lady villain's head was now unfrozen. But Lincoln put the lever back to FREEZE.

"Uh, Guys?" Clyde said worried.

"I'm free!" Red Diamond laughed evilly.

"Actually Miss Red Diamond, only your head is free." Lincoln pointed out.

"I, the supreme authority of wickedness, I, the evil Red Diamond, command you to release me from this frozen prison at once!"

"Well, uh, Miss evil Red Diamond ma'am, we can't do that."

"Why NOT?!"

"Because you're evil!"

"You mean if I was good you'd let me go?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Well, in the case, I am good."

"Really?" Leni said.

"Yes, really."

"Really, really?"

"Yes, Yes, really, really."

"Really, really, really?"

"Yes, yes already. I'm good! I'm good! Now let me outta here or you'll suffer dire consequences!"

"Eh, good enough for me." Lincoln said. He unfroze the villain. She jumped down.

"You fools prepare to be destroyed!" She leapt at the kids but luckily Lincoln was able to stop her with this remote. She fell down scratching herself.

"What's wrong with me? What sort of torture is this?!"

"Don't play dumb, Red Diamond." Lincoln said. "You know this is the itchy remote that Ace Savvy used on you in episode 17!"

 _The Itchy remote, as seen in episode #17!_

"Oh, I love that episode." Clyde said.

"Me too." Lincoln said. "It's a classic."

"I'll never get out of here with that remote in his hand!" Red Diamond said to herself. "I need an evil plan that will trick them into handing it over." She scratches herself again. "Time for those acting lessons to pay off."

Lincoln was chatting with Clyde. "Remember that part when Ace Savvy and One Eyed-"

Red Diamond pretends to cry. "Oh boo hoo! Oh sob! Oh cry!" She looked and noticed the kids watching her. "Oh woe is me! You don't know what it's like to be evil for so long! Oh how I wish to be good! If only some kind heroes would show me the path to decency."

The three kids gasped happily.

"We could totes teach you how to be good!" Leni said. "And then we'll let you go!"

"Oh, that would be fantastic!" Red Diamond said before turning around to talk quietly to herself. "I'll fake my way through this just like I did in high school."

* * *

Now Miss Red Diamond was seated at a desk as the kids were ready to teach her how to be good.

"Ok Red Diamond, are you ready for your first day at goodness school?" Lincoln asked.

Red Diamond put an apple on her desk.

"Leni, get your wallet out." Lincoln said.

Leni got out her wallet.

"Ok, goodness lesson number one. You see someone drop their wallet...Leni, drop the wallet."

She drops it.

"Now what would you do?"

Red Diamond tried to give back Leni's wallet. "Excuse me ma'am, but I believed you dropped your wallet."

"It doesn't look familiar to me." Leni said.

"What? I just saw you drop it. Here."

"Nope. It's not mine."

"Yes it is. I'm trying to be a good person and return it to you."

"Return what to who?"

Red Diamond slapped her forehead in frustration. She took out Leni's ID card and showed it to her.

"Aren't you Leni Loud?"

"Yep."

"And this is your ID."

"Yep."

"I found your ID in this wallet. And if that's the case, this must be your wallet."

"Makes sense to me."

"Then take it."

"It's not my wallet."

Red Diamond became angry. "You dumb blonde, take back your wallet or I'll rip your arms off!"

Lincoln pressed the button on the itchy remote and Red Diamond fell down scratching. "Wrong! Good people don't rip other people's arms off!"

"Make the itching stop!" Red Diamond cried.

"Let's start the next lesson." Clyde suggested.

* * *

"Ok, goodness lesson number two." Lincoln said. "You see someone struggling with a heavy package. What do you do?"

Leni struggles to carry a heavy package as she she walks over to Red Diamond.

"Hello friend, I noticed you struggling with that package. Would you like some hel-"

Leni accidentally drops the package on the lady's foot.

"Ow!"

"Sorry. Can I start over?" Leni picks the package back up.

"Hi. Can I help you-"

Leni drops the package on her foot again.

"Ow!"

"Oops, gotta start again.

Leni picked the package back up again and dropped it on the lady's foot again.

"Agh!"

"Oops."

"You butterfingered bimbo! What's in the box anyway?"

"My wallets."

Red Diamond growled in anger and picked up Leni by the hair.

"Ahh! Lincoln! Make her itchy!"

Red Diamond slammed Leni around on the floor. Lincoln pressed the button on the remote, making her itchy.

"I'm itchy but it's worth it!" The villain continued to slam Leni around.

* * *

Leni is now injured, wearing body casts and sitting in a wheelchair as she glared at Miss Red Diamond.

"Alright, goodness lesson number three." Lincoln tried to think of one but Leni took the remote from him.

"I've got one." She said bitterly. "I'm thinking off my favorite color. What is it?"

Red Diamond guessed. "Uh...turquoise?"

"Wrong! It was zebra!" Leni pressed the button on the remote, making the villain itchy.

"Hey Leni, that has nothing to do with being good." Lincoln said and he grabbed the remote.

"Let go of it Lincoln!" Leni tugged back.

"We can only use it when she's being bad!" Lincoln tugged back.

"Careful guys!" Clyde warned.

Red Diamond was still scratching as the siblings were fighting over the remote.

"Let go!" They broke the remote. Red Diamond was now itching madly.

"Frequency rising! Itchiness out of control!" The villain cried in agony. "You're itching my DNA! Make it stop! Please!"

The kids watched.

"Did you hear that guys?" Lincoln said. "She said the p word."

"Peanuts?" Leni said.

"No, please."

"Well, that's good enough for me. I guess she's reconstituted."

"Rehabilitated." Lincoln corrected.

"Gesundheit."

"Oh, I know how to stop the itching." Clyde said and pulled out a bottle of anti itching powder. "Anti itching powder."

"Why do you even have that?" Lincoln questioned.

"I fell into some poison ivy earlier today." He walked over to Red Diamond. "It's graduation day, Red Diamond. Take this anti itching powder to soothe the itching."

Red Diamond took it. "Oh, thank you."

She poured it all over herself, got up and laughed evilly.

"Just at her guys." Leni said. "The picture of goodness."

Red Diamond dashed over to the wall filled with weapons. She took a powered glove.

"Uh, were not supposed to touch that stuff." Lincoln said.

She put the glove on.

"We're not supposed to touch that either."

She got another weapon and attached it to the glove.

"We are really not supposed to touch that."

She aimed the weapons at them.

"Good people have no use for weaponry such as-"

She zapped them. "The only thing I'm good at is being evil. So long suckers."

She escaped from the liar. The three kids were left burnt and blackened.

"I smell bacon." Leni said.

"That's the smell of defeat Leni." Lincoln said.

"Actually, I think it's our skin." Clyde said.

"Forget about that Clyde. Miss Red Diamond is still bad and someone has to stop her! This is a job for Ace Savvy!"

"And One Eyed Jack!" Clyde said.

"And The Eleven Of Hearts!" Leni said.

The kids ran over to the poles and slid down. They got into their superhero costumes.

"To the invisible convertible!" Lincoln ordered. They landed in the convertible. "Oh wait, maybe you should drive it Leni, since you're the oldest."

Leni got in the driver's seat.

"But Lincoln, I don't have a license, remember?"

"Well, this is an invisible convertible, right?" Clyde said. "So you need an invisible license."

Clyde took one out and gave it to Leni.

"You're the best sidekick ever, One Eyed Jack." Lincoln said.

Leni started the vehicle and drove off. She drove through the wall and crashed into a street light.

"Thank goodness for invisible seatbelts." Clyde said.

Red Diamond walked by. "Out of my way fools. You no longer have control over me." She looked over to the town. "And now this town belongs to Red Diamond!"

"Not so fast arch villain!" Lincoln and his super pals standing behind Red Diamond. "We still have the glove of dizziness! Take this!"

Leni held up the globe and Lincoln spun it, but in doing so the kids got dizzy instead.

"Well, that was easy." Red Diamond went off to the bank. She burst through the doors. "Alright people, everybody stand right where you are! I want you to-"

Suddenly, she felt itchy again and started scratching. The people looked confused and began giggling.

"No! Stop giggling or I'll have to-" She scratched again and the citizens laughed once again.

"Stop laughing you fools!" Red Diamond approached the bank manager.

"What can I do for you ma'am?" He asked.

"I'll tell what you can do! Give me all of your-" She started scratching again. "Give me all your-" She scratched again. "Give me-" She fell to the floor scratching as she was so itchy. "Agh! I used the anti itching powder but I still feel the itchiness! The urge to do bad is gone!" She got up and faced the manager. "I guess I'll just open a checking account."

* * *

The three kids were still dizzy from the spinning globe. Miss Red Diamond showed up and turned it off. Lincoln and Clyde realized this.

"Red Diamond?"

"No need to be alarmed you guys." She said. "Your teachings have transformed me. Besides, I have checks with cute little puppies on them."

She showed them the check with pictures of puppies. She took of her diamond mask and handed it to Lincoln.

"I won't be needing this anymore. Farewell do gooders."

The boys waved goodbye as she left. "Bye Miss Red Diamond!"

"Huh, she kinda looked like an older Lola." Clyde stated.

"Yep." Lincoln said. "But we did it Clyde! We saved the day! Just like the real Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack! Isn't it amazing Leni? Leni?"

The boys saw that Leni was dizzy, even though the globe wasn't spinning anymore.

"Leni? You know that thing has stopped, right?"

Leni was still dizzy.

"Leni? Snap out of it, Leni."


	51. Chapter 51: Missing Boo Boo Bear

**This one is based off one of my favorite Spongebob episodes: Texas. I hope you enjoy it.**

 **Also, for those of you who wanted to read a Band Geeks parody, I suggest you read DarthFlores' version of it because I won't be rewriting that episode.**

* * *

The story starts at Jean Juan's French Mex restaurant. Lori and Lincoln decided to bond together today, with Clyde tagging along. They all ordered surprise dishes as the waiters came by with food.

"Cool, I got a pizza taco!" Lincoln said.

"I got a taco taco inside of another taco!" Clyde said.

"What did you get Lori?" Lincoln asked.

"Oooh!" Lori said surprised when she opened her dish. "It's the Couple Quesadilla that me and Bobby used to make."

"Si." The waiter said. "Senor Bobby has a knack for creating Mexican cuisine."

"Bobby? Who is this Bobby?" Clyde said in denial. "I've never met a Bobby before."

Then Lori looked sad. "Oh, I can't eat this without Bobby. It wouldn't be the same."

"You can share it with me." Clyde offered.

"Actually, you two can have it." Lori said sadly. "I just lost my appetite. I'll see you guys later."

Lori left the restaurant.

"Lori?" Lincoln said concerned.

The two boys ran out to catch up with Lori.

"Hey Lori, wanna take selfies with us?" Lincoln asked.

"No thanks." Lori said as she kept walking off.

Then Lincoln appeared with a surfboard. "Surf's up!"

"No." Lori continued walking.

Then Lincoln and Clyde showed up in front of her carrying bunnies.

"Lori, look at these cute bunnies we found." Lincoln said.

"Listen Lincoln, right now I don't feel like eating Mexican food, taking selfies, surfing, or petting bunnies." Lori looked closely at the bunnies. "Though, these ones are really adorable."

She petted them. Lincoln and Clyde set them down and the two bunnies rubbed noses together.

"Aww, these two must be a couple." Clyde said.

The bunnies held paws and hopped off.

"Yep. They really have a close relationship." Lincoln said. "It must be nice for a couple to never be separated. For one of them to never move to another place. That's some dedication."

Hearing this made Lori burst into tears.

"Lori, what the heck are you crying about?"

"I'm not crying. I'm allergic to...those bunnies."

Lincoln wasn't fooled. "Lori."

"Ok, I guess I miss Bobby a little."

"Bobby, huh?" Lincoln thought of something.

* * *

"Almost there!" Lincoln said.

"Dang it Lincoln. What is it?" Lori wondered. She was wearing a blindfold as Lincoln and Clyde guided her back to their house.

"Ta da!" Clyde took off her blindfold.

Lincoln held out a picture of Bobby in front of Lori. "Here's Bobby!"

This made Lori cry again. She ran upstairs and into her room. Lincoln and Clyde followed.

"Lori?" Lincoln knocked on the door.

"Go away." Lori said.

The two boys left her alone.

"I don't get it Clyde. What's wrong with Lori?"

"Maybe it's just a girl thing."

Lori opened up a window and stuck her head out. She had a guitar with her and tuned it before singing a song.

 _Wish I could stay with Bobby_

 _Things are different for this girl_

 _Wish I could stay with Bobby_

 _The best boyfriend in the world_

 _I know that deep in my heart_

 _I'll always be your precious girl_

Lori's singing is heard from outside as Lincoln and Clyde are back out and listen to her notes.

"Where is that beautiful singing coming from?" Clyde wondered.

"Clyde, up there!" Lincoln pointed at Lori's window. Clyde looked. "It's Lori."

Lori continued singing.

 _I wanna stay with my Bobby_

 _The handsome apple of my eye_

 _I miss his goofy sombreros, his burritos and churro pies, oh why_

 _When I'm so far from you Bobby, all I can do is cry_

Lincoln and Clyde tear up and start crying. The other sisters who were outside, heard Lori's singing and began crying.

 _I wanna stay with yoooooooou_

 _(in a deep male voice)_

 _I wanna stay with yoooooooou!_

Lori closes her window and leaves. Lincoln, Clyde, and the other sisters are all together crying.

"Lori should sing more often." Clyde said.

"She totes has a great singing voice." Leni said.

"But since when can she play a guitar?" Luna said. "And wasn't that my old guitar?

"Guys, she sang that song from her heart." Lincoln said. "She really misses Bobby."

"Maybe Lisa can invent a portal machine." Lynn suggested. "We use it to travel to Bobby's place, tie up Bobby and bring him back here."

The others looked at Lynn surprised.

"Uh...no, we're not doing that." Lincoln said. "That's kidnapping."

"Well, since we can't bring Bobby here, why don't we bring his Mexican culture?" Clyde suggested.

"That's it! Clyde, your genius is showing!"

"Where?" Leni said.

* * *

Soon, the plan to get Lori to stay in Royal Woods was coming together. The family and Clyde were at Gus' Games n Grub.

"Everything looks great." Lincoln said.

"And now all we need is Lori." Rita said.

"Leave that to us." Lincoln said. "Come on Clyde."

Lincoln and Clyde head back to the Loud house.

* * *

Lori was walking downtown with two suitcases as she was talking to her boyfriend on her phone.

"Are you sure you want to this babe?" Bobby asked.

"Yes Bobby, I literally want to show a stronger dedication by being with you." Lori said.

"That's touching, but what about your family?" Bobby said.

"Uh, they said they were cool with it but they'll really miss me." Lori lied.

"Oh, well, ok. I'm sure there's a place in our apartment where you can stay so-"

"Lori! Lori!" Lincoln and Clyde ran down the sidewalk after her.

"Oh great." Lori muttered. "I have to go Bobby."

She hung up. The boys caught up to her.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"We didn't see you at the house and-" Lincoln notices the bags. "Where are you going with those bags?"

"I'm moving to Great Lakes City." Lori said.

"Wait, What? Now? You can't, I mean-"

"It's time for this Boo Boo Babe to move in with her Boo Boo Bear." Lori said and walked off.

"But Lori, I planned on-but we were gonna-" Lincoln could barely talk clearly. "Lori, wait! Don't you want a pizza or something?"

"I'll order one later." Lori said.

"But Lori, don't you want to say bye to all your friends and family first?" Lincoln said.

"I just can't do that Lincoln. It would be too sad."

Lori went to a bus stop, where the bus showed up and Lori went in. The bus left with her.

"No wait!" Lincoln called. "Lori!!"

It was too late now.

"I can't believe she's gone." Lincoln said sadly.

Clyde came over. "Yeah, what's so great about dumb old Bobby?"

Suddenly, the bus came back very quickly. A ticked off Lori stepped out.

"What did you say?"

"Bobby's dumb?" Clyde said timidly.

"Don't you dare take the name of Bobby in vain!"

The bus left.

"You mean we can't say anything bad about dumb old Bobby?" Lincoln said.

"No, you can't!"

"Oh, then can we say his culture is dumb?" Clyde asked.

"No! You can't say nothing about Bobby!"

Lincoln got an idea. "Oh, so we shouldn't say anything bad about Booooobby!"

Lincoln shakes his butt, mocking Bobby.

"I'm warning you Lincoln!" Lori said angrily.

"Hey, Look Clyde. I'm Bobby." He imitates Bobby. "Ay yai yai. I'm Senor Bobby and I love my babe, Lori."

"I'm Bobby too." Clyde said and he imitates Bobby. "I love my Lori Wori. Let's kiss."

He makes smooch sounds.

"You guys better cut it out!" Lori warned.

Lincoln sings La Cucaracha (one of Bobby's favorite songs) in a mocking tone while Clyde makes armpit sounds. Lori's face turns red as she becomes enraged. Now Lincoln's head is shaped like Bobby's.

"Hey Clyde, guess who I am?"

"Um...stupid?"

"No, I'm Bobby!"

"What's the difference?"

Lincoln and Clyde laugh. Lori has had enough and drops her suitcases. She stands in front of them.

"You twerps better apologize or I'm gonna turn you into the worst human pretzels ever!"

"You'll have to catch us first!" Lincoln said and he and Clyde ran off.

"We did it!" Lincoln said running. "We got her!"

"Can't til she the surprise!" Clyde replied. He looked back. "Can we say that Bobby's hair is dumb? Can we say that Bobby's shoes are dumb?"

Clyde laughs.

"Ok Clyde, that's enough." Lincoln said.

"Why? You think ol Lori is gonna-"

Then they see Lori running towards them at a great speed. Clyde panics.

"Run faster Clyde!" Lincoln said.

The two boys run as fast as they can. They run past a tree. Lori runs right through the tree, causing to to fall down. As Lincoln and Clyde continue running, Clyde is suddenly pulled back by a rope.

"Lincoln!"

An explosion is seen in the background. Lincoln becomes more terrified. He hides behind a fence and shakes in fear. He then hears something charging. A big Mexican bulldog breaks through the fence with Lori riding on it. Lincoln gets up and continues running.

"Lincoln, meet my Mexican friend! You gonna take back what you said?" Lori said aggressively.

"No!" Lincoln is sweating as gets closer to Gus' Games n Grub. "Almost there!"

He sees Lori with a rope as she spins it in the shape of Lincoln's body. Lincoln screams and jumps for the front door. However, Lori catches his foot with the rope and pulls as Lincoln clings onto the door. He starts to lose his grip.

"Lincoln, you are gonna take your punishment like a man!" Lori yelled angrily as the bulldog pulled back.

"Lori! Noooooooo!"

The doors broke off from the hinges. The Loud family, Lori's friends and her manager came out.

"Hola Senorita!!"

"W-what's all this?" Lori questioned.

Lincoln got up. "It's a party!"

Clyde came back as his body was twisted into a human pretzel. "For you!"

"For me?" Lori said.

"It's your own little slice of Bobby's Mexican culture." Lincoln explained. "Check it out Lori. We've got salsa dancing."

Luna and Leni were dancing with a bowl of salsa.

"Burritos." Lynn Sr. had a plate full of burritos with the fillings dripping out.

"Homemade Churro pies." Rita, Luan, and Lori's friends held out churro pies, which had churros sticking out of the pies.

"And we've got our very own sombreros." Lincoln and Clyde wore paper mache sombreros. Lori was speechless.

"So what do you think? You gonna stay?"

Everyone smiled at Lori. Lori started laughing, making everyone confused.

"What's so funny Lori?" Lincoln asked.

"You guys." She said. "I appreciate what you all are trying to do but home isn't just about Bobby. It's not about burritos, and churro pies. Home is where you're surrounded by people that care about you."

Everyone gathered around Lori. Lori slapped her head. "Duh. What am I doing? I've been home all along and it took me until now to realize it."

"So you're staying?" Lincoln asked.

"I'm stayin!"

Everyone cheered happily, including the Mexican bulldog.

"Yeah! Who needs dumb old Bobby?" Clyde blurted out. Everyone stared at him.

"What did you just say?" Lori said.

Clyde realized his mistake. "Should I start running now?"

* * *

Epilogue

Lori and the family were back at home after the party. Lori was in her room chatting with Bobby over the phone.

"So I've decided to stay Royal Woods, Bobby." Lori said to him. "But we'll always be together, even if we're in a long distance relationship."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that." Bobby said. "We can always share our family traditions over the phone."

"Yeah, and we should visit each other more often. Well, we can at least try."

"We will." Bobby said. "Because I love you babe."

Lori smiled romantically. "I love you too Boo Boo Bear."


	52. Chapter 52: Ghost Host

**A parody of the episode: Ghost Host**

* * *

Underneath the Royal Woods cemetery, we see the house of Great Grandma Harriet. She's cooking up some chili for dinner.

"Now let's add that special chili spice to give this chili some zing."

She added some spice to the dish. Then it started bubbling more.

"Wait? What kind of spice is this?" She looked at the container, which read "Explosive Chili" with the warning: very explosive! "Oh boy."

There was an explosion and her house was destroyed. But the ghost lady wasn't too injured. She noticed her damaged house.

"My house!" She fly up from her grave and flew into the sky, then she took her phone out and called someone. "Hello? Home repair assistance, I'm gonna need you to rebuild my house." Someone is talking. "My location where I'll be staying?"

Harriet sees the Loud kids going into their house. "Business or residence? Residence."

She smiled sinisterly and went to their house. The kids were inside and Grandma Harriet appeared from underneath. They got scared, except for Lucy.

"Ahhhhhh! Great Grandma Harriet!"

"W-What are you doing in our house?" Lincoln asked frightened.

"I'm stuck here while my house is being repaired. Till then, I'm here to haunt you all!" She roars and bats fly out of her mouth. The siblings, except for Lucy, get so scared and run out of the house and run over to Mr. Grouse's. Lincoln knocks rapidly on the door.

"Mr. Grouse! Mr. Grouse! Open up!"

The old man came over. "Loud, What is the matter with you?"

"Mr. Grouse, you've gotta help us! There's a g-g-ghost in our house!"

"Louds, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't believe in ghost! Now get off my property!"

He goes back inside and slams the door. Then they hear a frog's croaking.

"Hops!" Lana exclaimed.

The kids rush back to their house. They see Harriet holding Lana's pet frog.

"Don't you dare hurt my little Hops!" Lana yelled.

"Aww, I just wanted to pet the little guy." Harriet said and petted the frog. "There, there. Granny's not gonna hurt you. I just love cute little frogs."

Then she ate the frog. Lana freaked out and ripped her pigtails off, but Hops showed up right next to her.

"Hops! You're ok!" She picked him up.

Harriet laughed. "Nothing better than giving a good scare."

"Yeah, relax guys." Lucy said. "Scaring people is one of grandma's hobbies."

"Well, I'm glad Hops is safe." Lana said.

Then the room caught on fire as Harriet towered over the kids. "Don't get too comfortable!"

* * *

Grandma Harriet spent her time scaring everyone around the house. When Lori went to Vanzilla, the vehicle suddenly came to life, looking more like a monster Vanzilla. Lori freaked out. Then at bedtime, Leni finds something tickling her nose. She removes her bed sheet and sees she has spider legs. She screams in fear as Harriet is under her bed laughing. Soon, Lincoln goes to the kitchen to get something to eat from the fridge. He opens it and a monster head pops out, scaring him. Harriet is behind him laughing and Lincoln laughs nervously. Eventually things start to get repetitive. Lola looks in a mirror and sees a demon in the mirror devouring her head, but Lola doesn't get scared. She just sighs and walks away. Then Luan pours cereal into a bowl, only to find a bunch of body organs. She sighs and walks away. Harriet notices the kids new reactions and becomes confused. Then Luna opens her guitar case and finds a disembodied leg in there. She has a blank expression and just tosses the leg away before getting her guitar out, then she leaves. All the kids head into the living room. A demon appears in front of them but the kids aren't scared. More monsters appear in front of them. One of them has all the heads of the Loud children and their heads melt, revealing their skulls. The kids still remain unfazed. Harriet's head pops up and she looks confused.

"Uh Grandma, is this gonna be much longer?" Lincoln said.

"Why aren't you guys freaking out?"

"Well, you've been here a while and...we've literally seen all your tricks!" Lori stated.

Harriet was shocked. "What are you trying to say?"

"She's saying you're not scary anymore." Lola said.

"Lola." Lucy scolded.

"I know when I'm washed up." Harriet said sadly. "I've been doing the same material for years. Scaring is my game. It's time to give up the ghost. No pun intended."

"Oh no, no." Lucy said. "It's just that we're used to it, that's all."

"Don't lie to me. You were never scared of my tricks anyway."

"You just need to scare someone other than us." Lucy advised.

"Hmm...you're right Lucy."

* * *

At a costume store, a customer is looking through an aisle of masks with an employee guiding him.

"These masks are great." The man said.

"Excuse me a second, I'll be right back." The employee said and walked off.

Then Grandma Harriet appeared as a mask as she tried to scare the customer, but he wasn't frightened at all.

"The Ghost Harriet mask. Like I haven't already seen that before." He laughs.

Then the employee comes back wearing a clown mask. "So did you find anything you wanted?"

The customer got terrified of the clown mask.

* * *

A little girl is skipping rope. Harriet attempts to scare her but gets hit by the rope and falls backwards.

"Lola was right. I'm not scary anymore."

"Just what kinda talk is that?" Lucy said, appearing next to her ghostly grandma, who got startled. "You're just off your game, that's all."

"Maybe I just need a break. Take some time off you know."

"Sure. Relax a little."

"Maybe stay with a family for a while."

Lucy stares at her Grandma.

"On a comfy couch in a certain home."

Lucy stares.

"Just for a little while longer."

Lucy stares.

"Until I get back on my feet."

* * *

 **Six months later**

Lucy returns home. "Hey champ, how's it...going?"

She sees the living room is a mess as other ghosts are seen having a party with Grandma Harriet. She was a bit of a mess herself as she was chatting with a male human on the couch.

"Who knew we'd have so much in common?" She said to him. "We both like poems and ponies."

"Is that a wedding ring?" He pointed at the ring on Harriet's finger.

"Uh..no." She tossed it away.

"What is going on here?" Lucy asked angrily.

"Come on Lucy, don't be a stick in the mud." Harriet said.

"Lucy, look at what these ghosts did to my dress!" Lola said angrily as she had some sticky stuff on her dress. "I can't tell if it's slime or barf!"

"Look out below!" A ghost is seen upstairs, riding a bike. He rides downstairs as Lynn chases after him.

"Get back here with my bike!"

The ghost crashes into a wall, destroying Lynn's bike.

"My bike!"

"That was rockin!" The ghost said.

Then Lincoln showed up. "Uh Lucy, I've always wanted to hunt ghost but these guys aren't worth it."

The rest of the family showed up and started complaining.

"These guys have got to go!" Rita said to Harriet. She opened the front door. "Everyone, get out!"

"Alright guys, party's over." Harriet said. She pushed the male human off the couch. "Time to scoot honey."

The ghosts and the male human left the house. Rita shut the door.

"Well, I'm gonna go change my clothes." Lola said.

"I'm gonna get a new bike." Lynn grumbled. The others left, leaving Lucy and Grandma Harriet alone.

"Grandma, do you want to spend eternity on this couch?" Lucy questioned.

"Well it is comfy." Harriet replied.

Lucy put a mirror in front of grandma. "Look in the mirror. You're a ghost of your former self."

"You're right Lucy. I'm pathetic."

"Yes, yes you are. But we're gonna raise you up from your squalid condition through the use of visual aids." Lucy got out a video tape and put it in the video player. "Watch and learn."

"What exactly is this video about?"

"A journey through self awareness."

The tape starts and we see a muscular man using a square hammer to ring the gong. An eagle flies through some mountains and calls out. Then some people in robes and roller skating, skate by in a straight line.

"The power within. The power within. The power within."

We cut to an old man. "The power within. The power within." He multiples into a red, blue, and green being of himself. "The power within. The power within. The power within."

He picks up some dirt. "The power within! Yeah."

Grandma Harriet starts leaking tears after watching the video. "That was beautiful."

Lucy gives her clothes. "Now get offa that couch and into your clothes Grandma. It's time to get serious."

* * *

An old lady is seen walking down the street. Grandma Harriet and Lucy see her behind a bush.

"Let's start you off easy." Lucy suggested. "Think you can take that old lady down there?"

"Are you kidding? Scaring her is too easy."

"Now that's the Great Grandma Harriet I know. Let's see you put those words into action."

"No problemo, compadre."

Harriet appears in front of the old lady and growls at her.

"Linda, is that you?"

"What? No! It's me, the ominous Great Grandma Harriet!" She screams.

"Linda, there's this great product called toothpaste. I think you should try it." The old lady walks off.

* * *

Grandma Harriet is flying through the sky with her great granddaughter on her back. They notice the two bullies, Hawk and Hank at a vending machine. They flew down and Lucy stays behind.

"Dude, I don't have enough change for this stupid machine." Hank said.

Harriet appears behind them and attempts to scare them. They gasp.

"Now she's got them." Lucy chuckles.

"Dude, that wimp has some money." Hawk said. They see a kid tossing coins in the air.

"Let's go "ask him" if we can have some." Hank said as he cracked his knuckles. They walk over to him. Harriet goes back to Lucy.

"Ah, it's no use Lucy. I can't seem to scare anyone. Maybe people just don't believe in ghosts anymore."

Then Lucy got an idea. "Wait a minute. I think you gave me the answer to all your problems."

The goth girl whispers into the ghost lady's ear.

* * *

At Mr. Grouse's house, the old man is getting ready for bed as he's in his robe. He's about to brush his teeth when suddenly the toothpaste floats.

"What the-" He gets squirted with the toothpaste which has a lot more toothpaste than it should have. He gets covered in it. Then he hears a voice.

"Bud Grouse!"

"What's going on?" Mr. Grouse said timidly.

"Why haven't you called me?" The toothpaste forms into the head of Mr. Grouse's mother.

"Mother?!"

"Why haven't you called your mother?"

He shrieks. "Uh, I love you mamma."

"Why don't you call me then? Why don't you call me? Why don't you call me?" Her face melts and big red lips appear. They roar at Mr. Grouse who covers his ears.

"I hear you don't believe in ghosts!" The voice said.

"Ghosts?"

"As in Great Grandma Harriet!" The elderly ghost woman appears as the scenery changes to the cloudy night sky. Harriet laughs wickedly and launches Mr. Grouse back into his house. The old man starts to get spooked.

"There's no such thing as ghosts! There's no such thing!"

"What? No such thing as ghosts?" Harriet's voice is heard. "You don't believe in ghost?!"

A portal appears and Mr. Grouse gets sucked into it. As he floats through the inside, he sees other ghost. There's a light at the end and he comes out the other end of the portal, where he is now in another room. Then he sees an eleven headed monster that has all the heads of the Loud siblings.

"Louds?"

Their faces fall off and Harriet's face appears. She does a trick that looks like she is pulling off her own finger. "Ooh, scary."

"No!" Mr. Grouse panicked. "That's impossible!"

He runs out of his house screaming. "Ghosts! Ghosts!"

Lucy comes out of a closet. "Grandma, it worked! You got your scare back!"

"And my confidence too. Now I feel like I could scare the living daylights out of anyone! All thanks to you, honey."

"And maybe your house will be repaired soon."

"Actually Lucy, I have a confession to make. My house has been repaired for three months now."

"Wait, What?"

"Well, it was nice rooming with you." Grandma Harriet leaves the house but looks back at her granddaughter. "Oh yeah, I almost forget! I left you something for all your trouble. Now it's time to haunt more souls." She flies off.

Lucy sees a present left behind. "Aw, Grandma gave me a gift. I wonder what it is? Maybe it's a book of poems or a Dracula doll or-"

She opens the box and a monster's hand comes out, dragging her inside.

Lucy laughs. "Good ol Granny."


	53. Chapter 53: Loud House Fever

**Parody of the episode: Pineapple Fever. Requested by Ponypal600 (P.S no more requests from you)**

* * *

"Lincoln, hurry up! We're heading out now!" Lori called from downstairs as the other sisters were there too.

"I'm coming!" Lincoln came out of his room, wearing a scavenger hat.

The kids went outside. They saw Clyde coming up to the house.

"Hey Clyde." Lincoln greeted.

"Hey Lincoln." Clyde said.

"Are you ready for the hike in the Woods today?"

"No...just kidding." He put on his scavenger hat. "I just hope I don't get any bee stings, or poison ivy, or mosquito bites, or rashes, or-"

"Clyde, are you sure you're prepared for this hike?" Lana asked.

"Yes, I'm totally prepared. Oh, wait guys, that reminds me. We should probably check the weather report before we go."

"Great idea." Lincoln said.

* * *

"And now for the weather." A guy on the tv said. Lincoln, his sisters, and Clyde were all sitting in the living room, watching the weather channel.

"Here we go." Lincoln said.

"Thank you Phil." The weatherman said. "Today's weather forecast calls for-"

He was given a piece of paper. He reads it.

"A horrible storm will ravage the Royal Woods area."

"A horrible storm?!" The kids said shocked.

"You heard me. Panic is not advised. Although, it is recommended. Also, an advisory has been issued to avoid any and all hiking in the woods if possible."

The tv was turned off. The parents had seen the weather report too.

"Kids, me and your mother are going to be in the basement for a while." Lynn Sr. said in a state of panic.

"But you're welcome to join us if you want." Rita said. They rush to the basement. Lincoln got some pieces of wood.

"Guys, help me nail these boards up."

"Lincoln, this seems like a strange time to be decorating." Leni said.

"Leni, do you not recognize fine decorating when you see it?" Lincoln showed her an small Ace Savvy card on the wall.

"You call that decorating?" Lola showed them some glitter stickers on the wall.

"Ooh, now that's something to admire." Leni said impressed.

"Well you can admire it later." Lincoln said and picked up a piece of wood and a hammer. "Right now we've gotta get the house converted into a shelter capable of withstanding extreme weather."

"You can say that again." Lana said.

"Actually I can't."

"Why?"

"Because I just stepped on one of these nails." Lincoln reveals a nail stuck to his shoe.

"Oh dear." Lisa said. "I better get the first aid kit."

* * *

At Mr. Grouse's house, the old man is tweezing his eyebrows in the bathroom. "Got ya. Now just one quick flick of the wrist and-"

Cut back to the Loud house and we see Lynn roughly nails a hammer which causes a racket at Grouse's house, and caused him to tear off his whole eyebrow. He falls down and sees his eyebrow that he's holding. He gets angry. Back at the Louds, the front door has been completely boarded.

"And we're finished." Lana said.

"Good job guys." Lincoln said. "Now our house can withstand anything nature has to throw at us."

Suddenly, the front door was completely broked open. Standing in front of the doorway was an angry Mr. Grouse.

"I guess Mr. Grouse isn't part of nature." Clyde said.

"Mr. Grouse, did you come to weather out the storm with us?" Leni asked, as she paid no attention to his anger.

"No! Wait, what storm?"

"The one Phil Preflemuster told us about." Lincoln said.

"Who's that?"

"He's the weatherman on the news channel." Clyde mentioned. "He said-"

"I can't understand a word you're saying."

"Oh come on, Mr Grouse, it'll be fun." Lincoln said. "While the elements rage outside we'll snuggle in here and past the time by playing board games, and playing tic tac toe, and drinking hot cocoa, and doing jigsaw puzzles, and watching tv."

"Yeah, and drinking hot tea." Leni added.

"I already said that Leni."

"No, you said cocoa."

"Oh, right."

"Well, I think I'll pass." Mr. Grouse said.

"Even if I let you borrow my bunny hat?" Luan held out her pink winter bunny hat.

"Hmm, I'll have to think about that."

Leni was wearing the bunny hat.

"Ok, but you'll have to think fast cause Leni really loves my-" Mr. Grouse starts to leave but the storm begins. He comes back all blackened as he has been struck by lightning.

"Mr. Grouse, welcome back." Lincoln said.

"Here's your hat." Luan handed him the bunny hat.

* * *

Lucy had a lit candle and placed it on the table. "There we go. All better."

The others were also in the living room, drinking hot cocoa and tea.

"What's better about it?" Mr. Grouse said. "I liked it better before, when I could see."

"But I like a darker room." Lucy said. "And the lights went out."

"Yes they did, when you turned them out."

Then Lola spit out her tea. "Leni!"

"What is it Lola?"

"You tea is so delicious!"

"Aw, Thanks Lola."

"Oh brother." Mr. Grouse said. "How about we play some of those games now?"

* * *

Another lightning bolt strikes. This one causes impact on the tree's leaves in the front yard. Inside the house, Mr. Grouse is playing tic tac toe with the twins.

"Ok guys, let's roll to see who goes first." Lola said.

"This is tic tac toe." Mr. Grouse said. "You don't roll to see who goes first."

"He's right." Lana said. "You play Rock Paper Scissors."

"Oh yeah." Lola said.

Mr. Grouse looked annoyed. They played Rock Paper Scissors.

"One." Lana said.

"Two." Lola said.

"Three." Mr. Grouse said.

They all did paper.

"It's a tie." Lola said.

"Dang it." Lana said.

They tried again. "One, two, three."

They all did paper again.

"Dang it!" Lana said annoyed. "Will you guys stop copying me?"

"What? You guys are copying me!" Lola replied annoyed.

"You always do this Lola. Don't try to deny it."

"I bet you're just choosing paper cause I always beat you with it. Well, I'm gonna change it up this time."

"Ok, I'll get you next time."

They played Rock Paper Scissors again. They keep getting ties as Mr. Grouse grew frustrated.

* * *

"There, I win. See?" Mr. Grouse showed them the paper that had three x's in a row crossed out.

"Hmm, I'm not a tic tac toe expert, but that doesn't look right." Lana said.

"Yeah, looks like a bunch of doodles." Lola added.

"What do you mean it doesn't look right?" Mr. Grouse snapped. "There's three in a row right here! Tic tac toe!"

"Easy friend." Lana said.

"Yeah, relax Mr. Grouchy, we're just here to have fun." Lola said. She got out a rule book and looked inside. "Hmm...ok, here we go. Congratulations Mr. Grouse."

"Well played." Lana said. She and Lola clapped for him. Mr. Grouse looked like he was about to cry.

* * *

"Come on Leni, you can do it!" Lincoln encouraged. "Be the puzzle piece."

Lincoln, Leni, Clyde, and Luan were in the dining room doing a jigsaw puzzle. Leni had the last puzzle piece but struggled to figure out where it went.

"Cannot complete jigsaw puzzle...difficulty level too advanced...rate of brain activity increasing...aging process by thirty years per second."

Leni thought so hard she turned into an old lady (so random).

"Come on grandma, you can do it!" Luan said. "You still got a few more years left in you."

Leni holds out an ear trumpet since she could barely hear. Luan yelled into it.

"Go Leni go! Go Leni go! Go Leni go! Go Leni go!"

The yelling woke Mr. Grouse, who was napping on the couch. He got angry and walked over to the dining room.

"I told you people I was trying to take a nap over there! Now for the last time, can't you just-"

"Hang on Mr. Grouse, Leni was just about to figure out where this last puzzle piece goes." Lincoln stated. He yelled into the ear trumpet. "Weren't you Leni?"

"Who's the old man?" Leni said, talking about Mr. Grouse. "Is that Dad?"

"It's the last piece of the dang puzzle!" Mr. Grouse blurted. "There's only one place it can go! Right here!"

He pointed to the one empty space on the puzzle. Clyde gasped. "Mr. Grouse, it wasn't your turn. That's cheating."

"Cheating?! It's a jigsaw puzzle! You can't cheat!"

"That's ok. We'll just start over." Clyde rearranged the puzzle. Mr. Grouse was about to lost it.

"I gotta get outta here!" He tried to escape but he got struck by lightning again. He crawled back inside. The kids saw him all blackened.

"Lisa, what are the chances of surviving two lightning strikes?" Lincoln asked.

"Well, it is possible. The odds of surviving more than one would be surprisingly good."

Mr. Grouse got up.

"Glad you're back Mr. Grouse." Lincoln said. "Hey, how about we all play a game of Funopoly?"

The kids agreed.

"Are you in Mr. Grouse?"

"No."

"Aw, come on old dude." Luna said.

"No way."

The twins chanted- "Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on-"

"I have an even better idea." Mr. Grouse said. "This is a game called "Boundaries", which means everyone has to be quiet."

Leni raised her hand.

"Yes Leni?"

"Will there be any spelling in this game?"

"Not at all."

"Yes!"

"It's very simple. The object of the game is to see how long everyone can leave Mr. Grouse alone. Until the storm passes, he will stay inside boundaries he defines with crossing tape."

"I have a question." Clyde said.

"What?"

"Where are you gonna get the crossing tape?"

"I brought some!" Mr. Grouse held up the tape as he smiled evilly. He went upstairs and set up the tape across the top so now the kids couldn't cross into the hallway. He then went into Lincoln's room.

"Brilliant work, Grouse." He said as he laid on Lincoln's bed. "Now I just have to stay here until this storm blows over."

His stomach grumbled. "Wait a minute, I'm starving. Lincoln's gotta have some snacks around here somewhere."

He looked under the bed and food a bag of food inside. "Jackpot."

He started eating the food. Charles, who was also in the room noticed Mr. Grouse eating the food.

"I bet you wish you had some of this." Mr. Grouse taunted. Then he realized what he was eating. "Dog food?"

He immediately spit it out. Charles took back his food and growled at the old man. Mr. Grouse left the room. "I gotta find some real food. I'll check in the kitchen."

He was about to head downstairs but was stopped by Lynn, who was dressed as a police officer.

"Halt! No one is allowed to cross this boundary!"'

"I'm the one who put the tape there, you're not allowed to cross."

"If you put it there, let me see your identification papers."

"Indentifi-oh, fine. But when this storm is over, you're gonna regret this, missy." Mr. Grouse checked his pockets. "Hey, I don't have them! They must be in my other pants! Look, if you just let me cross, I can go and get them. Please, I promise I'll-"

"Hmm...I guess you are being honest." Lynn said.

"Oh thank you, thank you! I'm just so hungry!"

"But then again, you might be lying. Come with me and we'll find the truth."

Mr. Grouse growled. "That'll be the day." He ran through the tape went downstairs. Lynn blew her whistle and ran after him. Mr. Grouse got to the fridge and got some food.

"Stop that elderly man!" Lynn jumped onto him. Mr. Grouse ran around the dining room with Lynn hanging onto him.

"Please, just let me get back to my side of the boundary!" Mr. Grouse pleaded.

"I can't allow that! It's against the rules!"

"But all I wanted was something to eat!"

"Did somebody say something to eat?" Lana said as the others heard the commotion. Mr. Grouse bumped into them, causing the food to fly all over the living room. The kids and Mr. Grouse laid in a pile on the floor. Mr. Grouse got up.

"My food!"

Lincoln got up. "Your food?"

"Hey, I want some too!" Lynn got up. The other got up and everyone went wild, acting like animals. Lola and Lana wrestled over a pizza box, Lucy got a can of soda and hid under the couch. She hissed at the others like a snake. Lynn got a meatball sub and Luna and Lori tackled her for it. Mr. Grouse got a sandwich and ran off with it. Lincoln swung by with a rope and swiped the sandwich from him. Mr. Grouse pounded his chest and screeched like a chimpanzee. He and Lincoln fought over the sandwich until it flew out off their hands, causing it to get stuck to the ceiling. Mr. Grouse and Lincoln stopped fighting.

"Everyone stop!" Mr. Grouse yelled. Everyone looked at Mr. Grouse. "Is this really what we've come to? Is one little storm all it takes to turn us into complete animals?"

"Apparently so." Lincoln said sadly.

"Well, that and a fridge full of food anyways." Lori added.

Then Mr. Grouse heard something. "Wait, did you hear something?"

Lincoln pointed at Lily, who had an can of gummy worms. "That's Lily drinking from her can of gummy worms."

"No, not that. From outside." Mr. Grouse went to the door. "The storm must have stopped!"

"Mr. Grouse, wait!" Lincoln called.

Mr. Grouse tore the boards off the door. "So long suckers!"

He ran out of the house, but was unaware that the house was on a tornado and fell off screaming. He landed on the ground with a thud.

"Curse you Preflemuster." He groaned.


	54. Chapter 54: Nasty Lynn-sagna

**Here's a parody of the episode: Nasty Patty, which takes place after The Loud House season 3 finale: Cooked**

 **Now I can use Lynn Sr. in Mr. Krabs role more often**

* * *

 _Lincoln narrates: It's a dark and stormy night. It's nights like these that remind me of the time me and my dad thought we killed the health inspector. (We cut to a flashback) It was a bright and sunny morning._

* * *

A health inspector arrives at Lynn's Table. Inside, Lincoln is helping his dad cook food in the kitchen. Then Lynn sniffs the air. "That smell...it smells like the health inspector!"

"Health inspector?" Lincoln said.

"Yes! Wash your hands, clean the floors, change your underwear!"

Lynn Sr. and Lincoln look out the kitchen window. "If he finds one health violation, he'll close us down for good. We've got to do everything in our power to make sure he passes my restaurant."

"But Dad, there's no need to worry." Lincoln assured. "Lynn's Table is the most perfect place in the universe."

Lynn Sr. looked deadpan. "Did you throw out your brains son?" He pushes Lincoln out of the kitchen. "Just go out there and give him what he needs. Pour on the charm. Sweet talk him."

Lincoln goes up to the inspector who's at a table. "What can I get for you, handsome?"

Lynn Sr. slaps his forehead. "We're doomed!"

"I'm gonna need you to bring me one of everything on the menu." The inspector said as he looked at his clipboard.

"Excellent choice my good man." Lincoln heads back to his father. "He wants one of everything."

"Then we'll give him a smorgasbord." Lynn Sr. held out a tray with different dishes. "The future of Lynn's place is at stake!"

Lynn Sr. and Lincoln went to the health inspector and shoved all kinds of food into his mouth.

"Try the Lu-Caesar salad, sir." Lincoln offered.

"The Luna casserole is totally rockin!" Lynn Sr. offered.

"The Beef WelLincoln is named after yours truly."

"Buffa-Lola chicken wings?"

"Chicken catcha-Lori?"

"Hummus and Rita chips?"

"Gentlemen, please!" The health inspector swallowed the food. "Let me finish my work in peace."

He clicks his pen, and a fork comes out of it.

* * *

Soon, the health inspector has eaten everything on the menu and looks stuffed. Lincoln came over to him. "And did the voluptuous inspector enjoy his meal?"

"So far, so good." The inspector said as he wrote on his clipboard. "I just need to try a plain Lynn-sagna and my inspection will be finished."

Lincoln went back into the kitchen where his dad was. "He says if he gets one more Lynn-sagna he'll pass us for the inspection."

"Do you know what this means, son? We're in the clear!"

The father and son did a victory dance. Then the news reporter is heard on the TV. "We interrupt this victory dance for a special news bulletin. Be on the lookout for a man who's passing himself off as a health inspector in order to obtain free food. That's all for now."

Lynn Sr. got furious when he heard this. "FREE FOOD?!"

"Maybe we should tell our guy about the phoney imposter?" Lincoln said. pointing at the health inspector.

"Don't you see Lincoln? He is the imposter! We've been duped!"

"Duped!"

"Bamboozled!"

"We've been Wild Willied!"

"Huh?" Lynn Sr. said confused.

"That's what Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack say when they've been tricked by Wild Card Willy."

Lynn Sr. and Lincoln look out the window and watch the inspector. "Look at him. I bet he never washes his clothes."

"I bet he pops balloons."

"I bet his mom bought him that hat." Lynn Sr. gets out a Lynn-sagna. "If that imposter wants a Lynn-sagna, then we'll give him one heck of a Lynn-sagna."

He gets a bottle of hot sauce and pours it on the dish. "You're dancing with the Senior Loud now. Join me son or you're grounded.

"It doesn't seem right." Lincoln said as he hesitated, but then he put on a devious smile and took out a condiment bottle. "But it feels so good! Anchovy paste, the worst ingredient ever."

"Hang on, i've got a jar of Lana's chewed up bubblegum." Lynn Sr. said.

Lincoln drops the dish in dirty mop water. "Oops, I "accidentally" dropped it in the mop water."

"Well, fish it out and I'll dry it with my underwear."

* * *

Soon, the Lynn-sagna was finished. It looked more expired now.

"Why that's the most diabolical dish ever created." Lynn Sr. said. "I'll call it "The Nasty Lynn-sagna."

Lynn Sr. and Lincoln giggled. The health inspector is still waiting for his last meal.

"Hey, hurry up with that Lynn-sagna!"

Lincoln brought him the dish. "Here you are sir. Enjoy." He ran off.

"Ah, delicious. Come to papa." The inspector is about to eat the Lynn-sagna but a fly goes into his mouth and he chokes, causing him to drop the food. Lincoln and his father are sitting under the kitchen window.

"Listen, he ate it!" Lynn Sr. looks out the window. "Look at him choke!"

Lincoln looks and they laugh at the poor man.

"Look at him suffer!" The man continues to choke. Lincoln and Lynn Sr. get back under the window laughing. "Did you see that son? The look on his face!"

The health inspector gets up and he slips on the lasagna, which causes him to fall backwards on the table. He lays down on the floor, unconscious. The fly comes out of his mouth. Lynn Sr. and Lincoln laugh. Then the news reporter is on again. "We interrupt your laughter and other people's expense to bring you this new flash. The fake inspector has just been captured. Here is his picture." A picture of the real imposter is shown. He looks like a criminal. "If a health inspector comes to your restaurant and he's not this guy, he's real."

"Phew!" Lincoln said relieved. "That's a relief, eh Dad? I'm sure our guy will understand if we just explain the situation. Then we can all have a good laugh about it."

Lynn Sr. looked out the window. "I don't think he'll be laughing son."

"Why not?" Lincoln looked.

"Because that lasagna killed him!"

Lynn Sr. and Lincoln scream in horror.

"Dad, we're gonna go to jail for murdering an innocent man!"

"What's this we stuff? You're the one who gave him the lasagna!"

"Cause you told me too!"

"Well, you could've talked me out of it!"

"...You're right Dad. I'm guilty. I'll never survive in prison. They'll mop up the floor with me!"

"Get a hold of yourself son! We've got to get rid of this body before anyone sees it! We've got to take it out and bury it!"

* * *

The Loud father and son head to the cemetery. Lynn Sr. has a shovel and Lincoln is dragging the unconscious body.

"Man, this is gross!" Lincoln whined. "This is something Lucy would enjoy."

Lincoln sprays the body.

"Shh!" Lynn Sr. said. "Speaking of Lucy, look!"

Lucy is seen at another part of the cemetery, looking at a tombstone.

"We can't let her find out about the dead body!" Lincoln panicked.

"Don't worry, I'll try to get rid of her." Lynn Sr. said. He went up to Lucy. "Hey honey."

"Dad, what are you doing here?"

"I thought you'd like this Free Burpin Burger meal coupon." He showed her the coupon. "Why don't you invite your friends along too?"

Lucy took the coupon.

"Well, that's generous of you, but my friends won't be available until tomorrow. And I planned on staying here for at least an hour. I'm writing poems about my favorite gravestones."

"I see." Lynn Sr. went back to Lincoln. "Well, Lucy isn't budging."

"I have an idea. Why don't we go bury the body somewhere far from here? There's a chance Lucy might find the body here. She has this spell that allows her to see corpses when they're buried."

"That's our Lucy alright. Let's go."

* * *

The Loud father and son head farther away somewhere as it begins to get dark outside. Lynn Sr. has a lantern and shovel while Lincoln is dragging the health inspector's body.

"This should be far enough. Now get digging." Lynn Sr. hands Lincoln the shovel.

"Yes sir." Lincoln begins digging but then stops.

"What's the holdup?"

"There's a big rock in the way!"

"Well, toss it up and then get back to digging!"

Lincoln used his strength and tossed the rock out. The health inspector woke up.

"Ooh, where am I?"

The big rock hits him in the head, and he becomes unconscious again.

* * *

"Something ain't quite right." Lynn Sr. inspected. "His head's sticking out!"

It's shown that the health inspector wasn't completely buried.

"Sorry Dad, I thought he might need some air." Lincoln buried his head.

"He doesn't need air where he's going." Lynn Sr. begins to walk off. Lincoln follows.

"Shouldn't we say a few words on his behalf?"

"Uh, he was a credit to health inspectors everywhere and, uh-"

"He was a brave man who deserved better." Lincoln added and he wiped a tear from his eye. "This was all our fault."

Lynn Sr. became sad too. "Yeah." Then he became stern. "Now listen here, young man. No one, and I mean no one can ever know about this. Not even our family. It'll be the end of both of us."

"Stop right where you are!" Two police officers showed up in a police car. A male and a female.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna have to arrest the two of you." The male officer said.

"Dad, I'm too young to go to jail!" Lincoln cried.

"And what would be the charges?" Lynn Sr. asked the officer.

"For not being at Lynn's Place to whip us up some delicious Lynn-sagnas!"

The two officers laugh. Lynn Sr. laughs nervously.

"Laugh son." He whispered to Lincoln. Lincoln laughed nervously. As he laughed, it began to rain. The rain caused the unconscious health inspector to slide down the hill.

"Put that muddy shovel in the truck and we'll give you a ride back."

Lincoln is still laughing so Lynn Sr. nudges him in the arm. They walk to the back of the car and open the truck. Lincoln puts the shovel inside.

"Lincoln, listen carefully." Lynn Sr. ordered. "We're just getting a lift back to my restaurant. Just stay calm and don't lose your cool. Understand?"

"Can I lose my cool now?" Lincoln said worried.

"Why?"

They both see the unconscious body in front of them and scream.

"Put him in the truck son! I'll keep the cops busy!" Lynn Sr. hands the body over to his son.

"What's the holdup back there?"

Lynn Sr. goes to the front to explain to the cops.

"Ew, it's touching me!" Lincoln said as he had the unconscious body. "Get away!"

He tossed the body in the trunk and sprayed himself with disinfectant. The health inspector wakes up again but Lincoln doesn't notice and slams the trunk on him.

"Ok, all set back here." He told the others. "Nothing unusual about a muddy shovel in the truck." He laughs nervously.

Lynn Sr. and Lincoln get in the car. Although, Lincoln looks uneased.

"You ok there kid?" A female officer asked.

"Oh, he gets nauseous real easy." Lynn Sr. said.

"Well, buckle up and we'll drive real smooth like." The male officer said. He drives off speedily.

"Now listen Lincoln, when we get back to the restaurant, put the shovel back in the freezer. Understand?"

"I understand, Dad, but what do you want me to do with the bod-"

"Bottles of root beer!" Lynn Sr. said as he covered Lincoln's mouth. "Bottles of root beer. Same thing, put them in the freezer."

The female officer looks at the two. Lynn Sr. and Lincoln laugh nervously.

* * *

Lincoln goes to the back of Lynn's Place with the unconscious health inspector. "Ugh! Germs, germs, germs!"

He tried to open the door but it was locked. "Aw man, the back door's locked. What am I gonna do?" He then spotted a box and got an idea.

Inside, Lynn Sr. is talking with the police officers. "So I say that's not a donut, it's a hole-nut!"

They all laugh. Lincoln comes in with the box labeled "Canned meat."

"Hey son, I thought you were out back taking care of that shovel!" Lynn Sr. said as he gritted his teeth and winked at Lincoln.

"Well, the back door was locked so I came around here." He pushed the box that had the health inspector inside. "So if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go put this box of canned meat in the kitchen now."

"Alright Lincoln."

"Where'd he get a box of canned meat?" The male officer asked.

"Oh, uh, we had a late delivery today." Lynn Sr. fibbed. "They just leave our food somewhere outside."

Lincoln pushes the box into the kitchen.

"Phew! That was a close." Lynn Sr. said to himself.

"What was that?" The female officer asked.

"I said...how about a toast? A toast to go with your Lynn-sagna!"

Then the male officer got a call on his walkie talkie. He pulled it out and listened to someone speaking. "Forget the lasagna Loud. We just got a call about two ghouls burying a stiff at Shallow Grave Road."

This made Lynn Sr. shake with fear.

"I want a soda." The female officer said.

"Here's your soda." Lynn Sr. gave her a soda. "Always a pleasure to serve our fellow officers. Well goodbye now."

The officer sipped the soda. "Hey, there's no ice."

Lynn Sr. sweated nervously. "Ice? Ice? You want ice? Is that what you want? You want ice?"

Lincoln came back. "The dark deed you requested is done Dad."

"I'll get it myself." Said the female officer as she began to head back into the kitchen. "Ice is in the freezer, right?"

Suddenly, Mr. Loud ran back and blocked the freezer. "There's no ice! There's never been any ice! Ice is just a myth!"

"Step aside. You people act like you've committed a murder."

Lynn Sr. couldn't hide the guilt anymore. "Ok, I confess! Lincoln killed him!"

"What? You can't blame me for this whole rap!"

"He was insane! I tried to stop him officers but he was out of control!"

"It was all my Dad's idea!"

"Arrest him now! He's a bad man!"

"He wears a nightgown to bed!"

"Wait, I can explain!"

"What the heck are you two talking about?" The female officer asked.

"We killed the health inspector!" Lynn Sr. confessed. "We buried him and then stuffed his body in the freezer!"

"You mean in here?"

They all looked in the freezer but saw nothing.

"It's empty." Lynn Sr. said.

"Say, is this some kind of prank?"

"Yeah, it's a prank." Lynn Sr. said as he went along with it.

"Say, maybe he turned into a zombie and walked out."

The four of them laughed. Then they heard moaning as someone entered the kitchen.

"Aaaah! It's the zombie!!!" Lincoln yelled.

The light was turned on and the health inspector is seen, looking a bit messy. "Hey you guys."

He was hit with a toaster by the male officer. "Take that you zombie!"

"I'll take it from here." The female officer hit him with a brick. "Die zombie!"

"Good police work, Officer Nancy." The officers notice the person more clearly. "Hey, this guy's not a zombie. He's just an ordinary health inspector."

The injured health inspector lifts his head up. "Yes, and at the risk of being hit again, I'd like to present you with this."

He shows all of them a note that has the word "pass" on it checked.

"Hey Dad, look. We passed the inspection!"

They all cheered, except for the injured man. They head out of the kitchen.

"Come on everybody! Let's all have a round of free Lynn-sagnas on me!"

The health inspector crawled out, a bit dazed. "Oh boy, I'd really like a lasagna now." A frying pan fell on him, knocking him out once again.

* * *

 _Lincoln: Well, that's the story. Yes, we were all dumb, weren't we?_


	55. Chapter 55: Lincoln Meets The Strangler

**Happy May 1st! Since today's the 20th anniversary of Spongebob SquarePants, which premiered May 1, 1999, I've decided to do a parody that I've been saving for a while. Based on one of my favorite episodes: Spongebob Meets The Strangler.**

 **I'd like to thank you to Stephen Hillenburg for making one of the best cartoons out there. I'm looking forward to the SpongeBob's 20th Birthday special coming soon!**

 **Also, tomorrow's the 3rd year anniversary of The Loud House!**

* * *

At Lincoln's elementary school, the white haired boy was called into the principal's office. "You wanted to see me sir?"

"Yes, have a seat Lincoln."

Lincoln sat down.

"Lincoln, it has come to my attention that you are the most hardworking student in your class to never miss a day of Litter Patrol Duty, so the school would like to honor you with an award."

Lincoln smiled. "An award? Wow. I'd be so honored."

"But you get it after your after school litter patrol."

"I'll make you real proud, sir."

* * *

After school, Lincoln went outside with a bag and a stick to collect the trash. He was also wearing a hat that said "Litter bugs me" on it.

"Litter." He picked up the wrapper with the stick. "Looks like someone missed the trash basket, huh Mr. Candy wrapper? Kids these days."

Then another wrapper was seen. "Another one. The place was spotless this morning." He picked it up. "Well, at least it's all over now."

Then more litter spread onto the yard. Lincoln rapidly picked them all and grew exhausted. Then one more piece of trash landed near him.

"Where is all this litter coming from?!" Lincoln yelled. Then he saw a man in his car. The man left a trail of litter nearby. Lincoln narrowed his eyes. "Not on my watch."

Lincoln walked up to the man. "Sir, I'll have you know it's against the law to litter."

"So?" The man said. "What are you gonna do? Call the police?"

Suddenly, police officers arrived.

"Yes." Lincoln replied smugly. The cops arrested the man, putting lots of handcuffs on him. Principal Huggins came outside.

"How goes it, Lieutenant?"

"Well, let's just say that litterbug over there saved room for his just desserts."

"Well, I came to give you your award and-" Then the principal gasped when he clearly saw the man who was getting arrested. "Lincoln, don't you know who that is?"

"Who?"

"That's the Tattletale Strangler!"

"Who?"

"The Tattletale Strangler!" Huggins gave Lincoln a photo of the guy, who was a criminal. "He's promised to strangle anyone who turns him in!"

"Would he really strangle a kid?"

Lincoln sees the Strangler growling at him. Lincoln and Huggins get startled. "He seems kinda angry with us, eh Principal?"

Lincoln noticed the principal is gone. "Principal? Principal?"

The police officers sent the Strangler to the police car.

"You're doing time, Strangler." Officer Johnson said. "Hard time."

Lincoln walked up to the officers. "Hey officers. So, he's going to jail right?"

"Strangler?" Officer Nancy said.

"Yeah, Strangler."

"Oh yeah, he's going to jail for a long time."

The Strangler draws something on the back of the drivers headrest, and flips it to reveal the exact likeness of Lincoln's face.

"Hey, that looks like me." Lincoln said.

Strangler growls and attacks the headrest, representing what he was gonna do to Lincoln. Lincoln screams.

"Don't worry Lincoln. He won't be able to get you." Officer Nancy assures.

"Yeah, we chained him up real good." Officer Johnson said. "He'll never get away."

"Oops, not again."

It's revealed the Strangler has escaped and his handcuffs are in his seat.

"Yep, he got away."

Lincoln screams and panics. "You nice officers will protect me, right? I'm just a kid!"

"Sorry kid, we ain't bodyguards." Officer Nancy said.

"Yeah, give us a call if you see him again, Mr. Tattletale." Officer Johnson said. The two officers drove off, leaving dust that makes Lincoln cough.

"Those officers are right. I need a bodyguard."

* * *

Lincoln went back into the school and told his gym teacher about his situation.

"Coach, there's this crazy guy after me! I need a bodyguard!"

Coach Pacowski chuckles. "I'm not a championship brestler for nothing. That's a boxer/wrestler. When he sees my moves, he'll be running scared. So where is this bully, huh? At the arcade? The park? What does he look like, kid?"

Lincoln showed the coach the picture of The Tattletale Strangler. "This would be him, Coach."

"The Tattletale Strangler?!" The coach screamed like a little girl and ran away.

* * *

Lincoln went all over town trying to find any tough guy who would protect him, but they were all terrified of the Strangler. The kid was now at a bus stop. "That's it. I've gotta get outta out of town till I can find a bodyguard."

"Bodyguard huh? I might be able to help you out." Lincoln sees a man sitting on a bench, but his face is covered by a newspaper.

"You don't understand mister. I need protection from the scariest guy in town. Here's his picture."

The man reveals his face, which turns out to be the Tattletale Strangler with a mustache. "He doesn't look so tough."

"I tattled on him and now he wants to strangle me with his diabolical hands. I hope he at least washed them."

The Strangler laughs sinisterly as he shows his dirty hands. He was about to strangle Lincoln when a bus came. The people watched so the Strangler stopped and the bus left.

"Dang it. There's too many witnesses around here." He speaks to Lincoln. "Listen kid, I could be your bodyguard. Here's my card."

He hands Lincoln a fake ID card with the words "Tattletale Strangler" crossed out and "Bodyguard" underneath.

"Hey, do you think I'm stupid or something?" Lincoln questioned.

"Uh..what do you mean?"

"This card expired yesterday."

"Oh, well, it's still in good use just for today."

"Hmm...ok. You're hired. I feel safer already. What's next?"

"Well, that maniac could be anywhere. Wearing a disguise."

He pointed at a guy in a squirrel costume. "He could be in that squirrel costume."

He points at Chandler. "Or that kid."

"And look at this litter he could've left behind." Lincoln pointed at a wrench, a brick, and a piece of paper. He picked the paper up. "A receipt for the Phoney Baloney Mustache Emporium?"

The Strangler took the receipt. "Uh, that's mine."

"Oh bodyguard, my body is in your guarding hands. What should we do first?"

"Well, I suggest we go to a nice quiet secluded location. Like behind a dumpster or a dark alley."

"Why hang out at those places? Let's go to my house. My family is out right now so we've got the whole house to ourselves."

"Perfect. Then no one can hear you being strangled, I mean protected."

"Oh, ok."

The Strangler smiled evilly at the viewers.

"But first I need to buy some new comics from the comic store." Lincoln said.

The Strangler looked back at Lincoln. "Huh? Oh yeah, sure. But let's make it quick."

* * *

Lincoln and his "bodyguard" are at the comic book store. Lincoln looks at two issues. "Hmm...Mutant Reptiles from Outer Space or Mutant Reptiles from Another Place? Outer Space or Another Place? Which issue do you think I should get, Bodyguard?"

"Whichever one gets us to your house quicker."

"I'll take both!"

Now Lincoln was paying for his comics. But then he saw another comic that caught his attention. "Ooh, a new Ace Savvy issue!"

He went over to get it. The Strangler sighed in annoyance. Then on the walk back home, Lincoln and the Strangler were at a food stand as Lincoln tried a free sample.

"Mmm, this stuff on a stick is actually pretty good. You should try some, Bodyguard."

"Can we just go to your house?"

* * *

Lincoln and the Strangler finally arrived at the Loud House. "Here we are, the Loud residence. Bodyguard, let me take this opportunity to say you're the best bodyguard a fellow could ever have."

"Alright, enough with the sappy talk. Open the door so I can strangle you, er, I mean choke you, uh, no, I mean crush you with my, uh, I mean-"

"Protect me?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"Don't mention it, Strangler. (gasps) I mean, Bodyguard." Lincoln checked his pocket. "Now where did I put that key?"

 **Twenty minutes later**

Lincoln checked his other pocket as the Strangler was steaming. "I can't seem to find it."

"Forget the key! There's gotta be another way in." The Strangler said. Charles the dog, was outside and he spotted the Strangler. Thinking Lincoln was in danger, Charles charged and bit the Strangler on the butt. The Strangler screamed.

"Charles, no!"

"Get this dog off me!!"

Lincoln tried to pull Charles off. "I'm trying but his teeth are really gripped onto you!"

The Strangler ran around screaming as Lincoln tried to get Charles off.

 **Two hours later**

The man still had Charles on him as he ran and screamed. Finally, he took the dog off himself. Lincoln took Charles.

* * *

The Strangler now had a big bandage on his butt.

"Sorry about Charles, Bodyguard." Lincoln said. "I guess he thought you were some intruder. I'll just get the key from under the mat and we can go inside."

The Strangler was shocked when he heard this. All this time the key was under the mat! His head exploded with anger.

"Ah, there you are." Lincoln used the key to unlock the door. "Now to finally get inside."

The Strangler came up behind him, looking ready to strangle Lincoln. Lincoln opened the door and they went inside.

"Step inside."

"Close the door." The Strangler closed the door.

"Well, here we are."

"I've finally got you!" The Strangler smiled evilly as he was about to strangle the kid. "Now you're gonna-"

Suddenly, the lights were turned on and Lincoln's family and friends appeared.

"SURPRISE!!" A banner is shown. It says "Congratulations to Lincoln Loud, Best Hardworking Student!"

The Strangler smiled nervously as he hid his arms behind his back.

Lincoln was surprised. "A surprise party to celebrate all my hard work at school? How'd you guys know?"

"Your principal told us, and we gave out invitations!" Rita explained.

"Let's boogie!" Clyde said.

Lincoln joined the party and everyone was having a good time, except for the Strangler, who just sat on the couch frustrated

* * *

When the party was over, Lincoln said goodbye to all his friends. "Bye Clyde, Bye Stella, Bye Zach, Bye Rusty, Bye Liam, Bye Principal, Bye Mrs. Johnson, Bye all the others!"

Lincoln's family had left too.

"We've got some errands to run!" Lynn Sr. said. "We'll be back later, champ!"

"Ok, see ya later!" Lincoln said and went back inside. "Well, looks like it's just me and you, Bodyguard."

The bodyguard woke up. "Wha-huh? So were all alone now?"

"Just you and me."

The Strangler laughed evilly. But then, Lincoln's family came back and so did his friends. Lincoln's family had brought back party supplies.

"Happy birthday, Lincoln!!"

"You guys remembered my birthday!"

"Let's boogie some more!" Clyde cheered. Everyone went inside to party again, and the Strangler went to sit back on the couch again.

* * *

The party was over. Lincoln say his goodbyes once again. His family had more errands to run.

"Thanks for coming." He shuts the door. "Ah, alone again."

The Strangler walked up to him. "Is it true? Everyone's gone?"

"Uh huh."

"No more parties today? You've got everything you need now. Nobody's left? We're completely alone?"

"Yep."

"In that case-"

"That was a great party, huh Lincoln?" Leni appeared out of nowhere.

"Grr! Sorry blondie, you've got to go!" The Strangler picked up Leni and was about to send her outside.

"Wait, Leni's my sister. We can totally her." Lincoln said.

"Well I can't take any chances. For all I know, she could be the Strangler."

"I'm the Strangler?" Leni said worried. "Oh, I should've known! I gotta turn myself in!"

Leni jumped out the window. Lincoln facepalmed.

"I wonder if those cops caught the Strangler by now."

"They haven't!" The Strangler ripped off the fake mustache. "Because I'm the Strangler!"

"Aha! I knew it!"

"Wait, what? You knew?"

"Yeah, I figured it out when we came to my place. It became so obvious. The way you were acting, and that phoney mustache."

"Aw man, this was the best mustache I could afford at the party store."

Suddenly, everyone (except for Leni) came back to the house.

"Did someone say party?" Mr. Grouse said.

The Strangler freaked out and jumped out the window. He ran away. "I can't take it!"

Then the cops showed up.

"There you are Strangler!" Officer Johnson said. "We got a call from a white haired boy who said you were in disguise. Now you're going to jail."

"I don't care!" The Strangler yelled. "Just get me away from this place! Far, far away!"

Then Lincoln showed up. "Hey officers."

The Strangler screamed when he saw Lincoln and went inside the police car.

The officers shrugged.

"Whatever you did to the Strangler, it saved us the trouble of trying to capture him."

The officers got in the car and they drove off with the criminal.

* * *

The police officers sent the Strangler to jail. He was now in his cell.

"Well, the Strangler is finally put behind bars." Officer Nancy said proudly.

"And this time we'll have to keep a close eye on him." Officer Johnson said.

"Well, at least I'm away from that white haired twerp." The Strangler said.

"Hey Mac." The Strangler turned around to see Leni in the same cell. "What're you in for?"


	56. Chapter 56: Ace Savvy & One Eyed Jack 4

**Here's a parody of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy 4. This chapter is also dedicated to their voice actors, Tim Conway and Ernest Borgnine, who have both passed away. They both did an amazing job voicing these two elderly heroes, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

Ah, Gus Games n Grub. Through these doors pass all kinds of citizens.

"Through the double doors! Away!"

And also, these old coots. Ace Savvy has bursted through the doors with his sidekick, One Eyed Jack in pursuit.

"I told you I'm not hungry, Ace Savvy."

"Nonsense, One Eyed Jack. We've got to keep up our strength for the fight against EVIL!"

"What a dive."

"To the register, away!"

The two elderly heroes go up to Lori, who's at the counter. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, we'd like a large pizza with pepperoni and sausage." Ace Savvy said. "Oh, and onions for the young lad."

"I don't want onions." Jack argued. He looked at Lori. "I don't like onions, but he always wants me to eat healthy."

"Whatever." Lori said. "That'll be ten dollars."

"You've got it ma'am." Ace got out his wallet and took out a metal nut. "Will this cover it?"

"...No."

"Listen blondie, that guy's been saving your butt longer than you were born." One Eyed Jack said. "Don't you have a living legend discount or something?"

"This is a restaurant, not a lending library Big nose."

Lori and One Eyed Jack glared at each other.

"Next time danger threatens don't expect any help from us." One Eyed Jack paid her ten bucks and walked away.

"I'm shaking." Lori said sarcastically. "Humph. Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack think they're so amazing."

Suddenly, Lincoln appeared next to Lori when he heard the name of his favorite superheroes. "Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack are here? Must get autograph!"

Lincoln took Lori's notepad and pen.

"If you want to grow up big and strong like me," Ace removed his belt, releasing his big belly. "you've got to make room for seconds. Here comes our waiter."

Lincoln is seen running up to the two at a rapid speed, making a weird face. "Auuutograaaaaph!"

"Holy cow, it's that white haired kid!" Jack exclaimed.

"Quick lad! To the invisible convertible!" Ace Savvy gets up and his pants fall down. "Away!"

The elderly men head outside. They see a bunch of cars.

"Where did we park?" Jack asked.

"Uhhhh."

Lincoln goes up to the table they sat at. "Can I have your autograph? Oh, they're gone." He sees Ace Savvy's belt. "Ace Savvy's belt!"

Outside, Ace Savvy got an idea. "Wait! We'll find it with the invisible car alarm!"

He takes out the alarm and presses it. Their convertible is seen for a brief moment. "There she is!"

They jump into the vehicle and Jack injured his butt. "Ow! I told you we should've gotten the automatic."

"Hey guys, I've got something for you!" Lincoln yelled as he was seen running in slow motion.

"Floor it!" Jack said. Ace drove the convertible and they went off.

"You forgot your belt!" Lincoln held out the belt. "You forgot your-"

The two heroes were gone. Lincoln looked at the belt. There was the letter A on the belt, obviously Ace's first initial. "Ace Savvy's secret utility belt. I have one just like this, but this one is real. The emblem of justice! For sixty five years, this belt has helped prevent the fall of nations...and pants. I can't believe I'm actually holding it in my hands. Well, I guess I should return it."

He was about to head after the heroes, but then he rushed back inside the pizzeria and went into the bathroom. "Or not. I might as well hold onto it for a little while, then I'll return it."

He put an out of order sign on the bathroom door and went back inside. "There. Now I'm all alone with Ace Savvy's belt. I wonder what this button does."

Lincoln pressed the A shaped button on the belt, shooting a laser beam at the mirror. This caused the mirror to shrink.

"Whoa. The small ray." Lincoln was amazed as he picked up the small mirror. He smiles mischievously as he got an idea. Lori was heading to the woman's bathroom and then she heard a flashing sound.

"What the-"

She heard another one and found out it was coming from the men's room. "Hey, what's going on in there?"

Inside, Lincoln had shrunk everything else. The toilets, the sinks, etc. He heard Lori and started to panic.

"Uh, just the bathroom repairman." Lincoln said in a fake voice. "I'm fixing the toilets."

"Lincoln, is that literally you?"

"Um, yes."

"What are you up to?"

Lincoln popped his head out. "Nothing!What makes you think I'm up to something?"

Lori pulled him out and noticed the belt. "What is that?"

"Nothing important."

"Let me see it."

"No!"

"Let me see!"

"No!" Lincoln tried to run away but Lori caught him and the belt. She gasps.

"Is that Ace Savvy's belt?"

"Yes!" He took it back.

"Wow. I can't believe he lend it to you."

"Yeah. Me neither." Lincoln said nervously.

"Wait, he didn't lend it to you, did he?"

"Please don't tell."

"You stole it from him!"

"Please don't tell!"

"I'm afraid I have to, little bro."

"Lori, If Ace Savvy finds out, he'll kick me out of his fan club for sure. Please don't tell!"

Lori got out her phone. "Here's my phone."

"Lori, don't!"

"I have the number for the retirement home."

"No!"

"I'm dialing the number."

"I'm begging you!"

"Hello?" Lori called. "I'd like to speak to Ace-"

Lincoln zapped Lori with the belt, causing her to shrink down. She falls to the ground and her phone lands beside her.

"Hello? Hello?" Ace Savvy's voice is heard from the phone.

"What did you do to me?!" Lori exclaimed.

"I'm sorry Lori, but you made me do it." Lincoln said.

"Lincoln, If you don't return me back to normal size right now, you are literally gonna be in really big trouble!"

"Uh...ok, uh.."

"I said now!"

Lincoln saw so many buttons on the belt and he wasn't sure which one to use.

"Do you hear me?!" Lori yelled. Lincoln zapped her and she had snakes on her head. "OMG! Get them off me! Get them off me!"

She threw the snakes off. "Don't you know how to work that thing?"

"Uh, I've got this Lori!" Lincoln zapped her a bunch of times. Her head turned into the shape of a volcano as lava poured out of it, then she had a pear shaped head (like the one she had as a baby), then she turned into an alien, then into a paper drawing of herself which ripped in half, and etc.

"Stop!" Lori shouted as she turned back to her normal body, but she was still small. "I've got an idea. Let's call Ace Savvy and-"

"NO!" Lincoln grabbed Lori. "I can't let you do that! But there must be someone else who can help. Someone smart and wise, with years of life experience."

* * *

Leni is seen ordering somewhere. "I'd like one cherry pie please."

It's revealed she's at an ice cream truck.

"Ma'am, this is an ice cream truck." The ice cream man said. "I don't sell pies."

"But your sign says Frozen Desserts."

"As in ice cream desserts."

"Oh." Leni realized. Then Lincoln ran up to her.

"Leni, Leni!"

"Oh, hi Lincoln."

"Leni, I was at Gus Games n Grub and Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack came and I got this belt and, look!" Lincoln took Lori out of his pocket.

"Cool! A Lori action figure!" Leni said excited. "Can I play with it?" She took Lori.

"Leni, wait!"

"Fighter pilot!" Leni started playing with Lori as if she was a real toy. "Dive bomb!"

"Leni!"

"And here comes a giant fist!"

Lori screams.

"Leni no! That's not an action figure! That's the real Lori! I shrunk her by accident!"

"Oh...and here comes a giant-"

"Wait! You don't understand! This is serious! I don't know how to unshrink her! She could be stuck like this for the rest of her life!"

"Well, I wouldn't worry about it." Leni assured. "She could move into my old dollhouse and she would be with someone her own size, like one of my boy dolls."

"My Boo Boo Bear is the only man for me." Lori said. "Besides, I can't be in a relationship with a doll."

"Oh, if I only knew how to work this thing." Lincoln said as he examined the belt.

"Let me take a look at it." Leni inspected the belt. "Hmm...you know what the problem is?"

"What?"

"You've got it set to A for abnormal size when it should be set to V for Volorbal size." Leni turned the A button upside down.

"Leni, I don't think Volorbal is a real word." Lincoln said.

"Oh come on. I volorbal. You vovorbal. Me and she vovorbal. Vovorbaled. Vovorbaling-"

"I wonder if falling from this height would be enough to kill me." Lori said to herself.

"Volorbalology, the study of volorbal. It's first grade Lincoln."

"Leni, I'm sorry I doubted you." Lincoln said.

"Well, alright then. Let a rip."

Lincoln pressed the button and it zapped both Lori and Leni.

"It worked!" Leni said. But it turns out Leni shrunk too.

"Oh no!" Lincoln said worried. He picked up his older sisters.

"Lincoln, you're giant!" Leni said. "Can I be giant next?"

"Leni, I'm not giant, you shrunk too!"

"No way! Does that mean Lori and I can live in a dollhouse? Maybe we can hang out with cute boy dolls."

"Hey!" Lori got Lincoln's attention. "Now will you take us to Ace Savvy?"

"No!! He can never find out! But I'll think of something. I promise. Until then you'll be safe in this jar." Lincoln got out a jar and put his sisters inside it.

"Hmm, I like the look of this place." Leni said. "It's kinda small and bland."

"It's only two people!" Lincoln said as he became more worried. "No big deal, nobody else saw it!"

Then Lynn showed up. "Hey Lincoln!"

Lincoln got startled and zapped her, making her small. She fell to the ground.

"What the-what did you just do to me?"

"Sorry Lynn." Lincoln picked her up. "Ace Savvy came and-"

"Howdy Linc!" Liam walked over. Lincoln got startled and shrunk him as well.

"Hey Lincoln!" Rusty walked up to him and Lincoln shrunk him.

"Hi Lincoln!" Stella walked over and she got shrunken. Lincoln panicked and walked away.

"Hello Lincoln!" Mrs. Johnson got shrunken.

"Yo Lincoln!" Sam got shrunken. Lincoln continued to shrink more people throughout the town.

* * *

Lincoln had now shrunken everyone as he tried to push them all into the jar. He managed to do so. "Phew. I'm gonna need a bigger jar."

"Lincoln, will you just face facts?" Lori said. "You've shrunken everyone in Royal Woods! You've got to go to Ace Savvy!"

"Oh Lori, he'll be so disappointed!"

"Well, you can't leave us small forever!" Lynn said.

"You don't understand!"

"Lincoln Loud, I should ground you for this." Rita scolded. "You need to admit your mistake."

"Lincoln, listen to your mother." Lynn Sr. Said.

"Mom? Dad?"

"Your parents are right, son." Ace Savvy said. "Ace Savvy will understand."

"You're Ace Savvy, you old coot." One Eyed Jack reminded him.

"Oh yeah."

"Ace Savvy, I'm so sorry. It's just that I'm a big fan and your belt, and-"

"Aw, don't worry son. I understand. Why, I remember when I first used the belt the year was ninety aught eleven teen twelve. Why I believe the president-"

"JUST TELL HIM HOW TO UNSHRINK US!" The other citizens yelled.

"Oh yes, the unshrink ray. Let's see...uh, did you set it to volorbal?"

"WHAT?!" Suddenly, the angry citizens burst out of the jar. "Get Lincoln!"

They charge over to the white haired boy and climb onto him.

"Now I have can't drive my car and it would take me five miles to go the bathroom in my own home!" Mr. Grouse punched Lincoln in the stomach.

"And I'm gonna need an escalator to reach the food in our fridge." Lynn bit Lincoln on the butt.

"We've been shrinking for years." Ace Savvy said.

"But this is ridiculous." One Eyed Jack said. They both went into one of Lincoln's ears. Everyone was attacking Lincoln.

"EVERYTHING'S TOO BIG!"

Lincoln got an idea. "I've got it! Lisa, do you have that enlargement ray?"

"It's in my room and it hasn't been tested yet." Lisa stated.

"Well, it's time to test it!"

"It appears we have no other option." Lisa said. "Very well then."

"Great. I'll be right back! Everyone stay here!" Lincoln ran off.

* * *

Lincoln came back with the enlargement ray. "Ok, I got it!"

"Make sure to select the right option." Lisa instructed.

Lincoln saw the options: Human size and monster size. He turned the dial to human size and blasted the citizens. They went back to their normal sizes.

"Eureka! It worked!"

"Good work Lincoln!" Stella commented. Everyone cheered. Lincoln gave the belt back to Ace Savvy.

"I believe this belongs to you."

"Thanks son. Back to the retirement home, away!" Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack headed off. Lincoln went to his parents.

"So am I grounded now?"

"Nah, I think you've learned your lesson." Rita said.

"And everyone's back to normal." Lynn Sr. said.

The citizens walked off to do their own things, but no one heard a voice calling out. "Hey! Hey! Down here!"

Lena Shroud is shown. She is still tiny. "You forgot about me! I command you to come back! Come back!...Curse you Lisa!"


	57. Chapter 57: A Lori Through Time

**A parody of the episode: SB 129**

* * *

Lori is in her room, texting her boyfriend. Bobby has just sent Lori a love message.

"Oh Boo Boo Bear." Lori said romantically. She is about to type something to him but then gets a message from Lincoln. It reads: Lori, me and Clyde need a ride to the walkie talkie convention. Lori groans and deletes the message. She's about to type back to Bobby when she gets another message. This one is from Clyde. It reads: Hey L-l-Lori. Lori frowns and deletes it. Then she gets text messages from her other siblings, all of them wanting her to take them somewhere.

"Ugh! Can't a girl text her boyfriend without interruptions?"

Then Leni opens the door, showing her and the others standing in front of the doorway.

"Lori, did you like get our messages?" Leni asked.

"Yes, I did." Lori said irritated.

"Well, are you gonna give us a ride?" Lincoln asked. "Me and Clyde wanted to discover the many kinds of walkie talkies."

"How dorky." Lori commented. "Can't Mom or Dad drive you guys?"

"They're too busy with work. And it doesn't look like you're doing anything important."

"Texting Bobby is important! We need to send each other as any messages as we can!"

"Dude, come on. Just take us out first." Luna said. The kids begged Lori.

"Alright, Alright!" Lori gave in. "I'll take you guys to wherever you want to go. Just go wait in Vanzilla until I'm ready."

The kids left.

"Thanks Lori." Leni said. Once they left the house, Lori decided to go into the basement. She brought her phone with her so she could continue texting Bobby. When she got in there, she some kind of machine.

"Hey, what's that thing doing in here?" She got a closer look and read the sign on top. "The Time Travel Machine 9000. Yep, Lisa definitely invented this."

"Lori, are you down here?" Lori heard Leni's voice and thought fast. She hid inside Lisa's machine. "Huh, the lights are on but nobody's in here."

Lisa had also followed Leni downstairs. "I hope nobody tampered with my precious time machine. I need to install the security lock so nobody gets in."

They both went up to the time machine and Leni observed it. "So this thing can send you to the future and past?"

"Yep." Lisa confirmed. "You just type how years you want to travel into the future or the past on this keypad."

As Lisa explained, Leni being the ditz she is, typed 2000 in the future keypad and pressed the go button. Lisa had noticed and the time machine glowed.

"Leni, what in Einstein's name have you done?!"

"I wanted to see if we would travel 2000 years into the future."

The time machine disappeared.

"You fool!" Lisa yelled angrily. "You have to be inside the time machine to travel!"

"Oh…" Leni realized.

"(sighs) Well, at least nobody was in there."

But Lisa was wrong. Lori was sent traveling 2000 years into the future.

* * *

The time machine arrived at its destination. It seemed like it was back in the Loud house basement, where everything was chrome. Lori opened the door and fell out. She groans as she felt nauseated from the speedy time travel.

"Somebody get me a bucket. I think I'm gonna barf."

Then Lincoln comes downstairs, flying with a jetpack. He saw Lori.

"Intruder alert! Intruder alert!" He yelled.

"What the-Lincoln?"

"Lincoln? No. I'm Linc-o-Tron." He had a robotic voice. "Welcome to the future."

"Huh?"

"I said, welcome to the future."

"The future?" Lori looked around and noticed everything looked different. "Wha-what's going on? Why is everything chrome?"

"Everything is chrome in the future." Linc-o-Tron explained. Lori couldn't believe what she was hearing. She went to look through the front window.

"Oh my…" She saw everything outside was chrome. "Impossible. He's lying!"

A flower sprouted in the front yard and a man came and sprayed it, making it chrome. Then he left.

"He's right!"

"Of course I'm right Lori." Lincoln said. Lori turned around and was surprised to see robot versions of her other siblings. "Just ask my sibling trons. This is Lor-Tron, the oldest."

"You literally look just like me." Lor-Tron said to Lori.

"Then there's Len-oni-Tron."

"Like, hi intruder who looks like my sister." Leni-oni-Tron said.

"Lunar-Tron."

"Hey dude." Lunar-Tron greeted.

"Luano-Tron."

"Hi, my puns drive people NUTS." Luan made as she held out a handful of robot nuts. She laughed as the others groaned.

"There's Lynn Jr. Tron, or as she likes to call herself, Lynn-tastic Tron."

"I am number one after all." Lynn-tactic Tron bragged.

"Luc-Tron."

"Sigh." Luc-Tron said.

"Lano-Tron and LoL-LoL Tron, the twins."

"Hey." They greeted.

"Lis-o-Tron."

"Greetings primitive." Lis-o-Tron greeted.

"And lastly, The Lilster, the youngest."

"Poo poo." The baby said in a robotic voice. Lori stared as she was speechless. Then she got down on the floor and started doing sit ups as she said: "Future...future...future..future.."

Lincoln extracted a robot arm from his chest and it zapped Lori with electricity.

"Thanks." She said snapping out of it. "Now listen, all of you! I don't belong here! This is all a horrible mistake! Please, we've got to do something!"

"I say we go to the walkie talkie convention!" Lincoln declared.

Suddenly, there was a beam of light and a robot who looked like Clyde appeared. He had two heads.

"Did somebody say walkie talkie?" They said in a robotic voice.

"Hi Clyde McTron!" The robot siblings greeted. Clyde McTron noticed the two Loris.

"Two L-L-Lor-Trons?" He started malfunctioning."ABORT. Systems confused. Systems shutting...down."

He fell to the ground.

"Huh, funny." Lori said. "This time he's literally a robot. But listen to me! I'm not supposed to be here! I gotta get home to my own time period! I gotta go!"

"Well, why didn't you just say so?" Lincoln said. "I saw you traveled here with a time machine. All you have to do is use it to go to your time period."

"Of course. I should've thought of that."

Lori and the others went into the basement and went to the time machine.

"Sweet Einstein." Lis-o-Tron said fascinated. "Where did you acquire this beauty? Perhaps a scientist ancestor of mine? I have so many questions!"

"Sorry, but I'm getting outta here." Lori said.

"Well, it was nice meeting you." Lincoln said.

"Yeah, put er there." Luan said as she held out her hand. Lori smiled and shook her hand but then got electrocuted. Luan laughed.

"The joy buzzer gag never gets old." Luan said, revealing her joy buzzer. Lori growled. She typed a number in the past keypad and hit the go button. She went into the machine as it glowed, then she and the machine disappeared. Lori was now traveling way back into the past.

* * *

The time machine arrived at a prehistoric time. Lori exited the machine. "My siblings are around in the future, but I bet they're not around in the past."

Lori looked around the place as she walked off. "Primitive. Sort of an old world charm."

A small dinosaur rushed past her as Lori almost fell over.

"I guess this was before manners were invented. Well, at least there's no sign of my twerp siblings or Clyde. Maybe now I can finally be alone with my phone."

Then Lori saw shadowy figures around the place, all seemed to be spying on her. Lori became nervous and uneasy. She backed away until she bumped into a bush. She heard something behind it and took a look. There was a caveman with white hair.

"Lincoln?"

The white haired caveman who looked like Lincoln, leapt at Lori.

"Aaah! Stay back!"

He noticed Lori's clothes looked different than any caveboy style.

"You strange looking cavewoman." He said.

"Actually, I'm not a cave-"

Then Lori felt someone breathing on her. She slowly turned around and saw a caveboy version of Clyde.

"You p-p-pretty lady." He commented.

"Oh, uh, thanks." She started to back away but then the cave girl versions of her sisters gathered around.

"You literally lika me." The oldest cave girl said.

"Oooh! Like, where you get trendy clothes?" The second oldest cave girl said.

"Well, I-"

Then the twin cavegirls started sniffing Lori, which made Lori back away. "Yes, I'm wearing perfume. Now stop that."

Lori fell backwards onto a pile of cans. "Ow."

Lynn acted like a monkey and kicked a can, like it was a soccer ball. The others howled and copied Lynn, playing some kind of game with the cans.

"Ok, bye now." Lori went to a shady area. "Ah, here's a nice shady spot away from those twerps."

Before she could text on her phone, a can hit her. "Ow! Hey, watch you're kicking that thing!"

The Lynn look alike came up walking on all fours and grabbed the can with her teeth, acting like a dog.

"Boy, you're not too different from modern Lynn, are you?"

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."

Then she saw the other cave siblings chewing on their cans.

"What are you simpletons doing? Those aren't for eating!"

But they still continued to chew on the cans. Lori took Lincoln and Clyde's cans. "Gimme those!"

She then grabbed a long vine and attached it to the two cans. One can on each end. "Ta da!"

"What that thing you bestow to us?" The cave girl who looked like Lisa asked.

"Um...it's the tin can walkie talkie. You use it to talk to someone from a long distance. Let me demonstrate. You hold this end." Lori gave one can to the white haired caveboy. Lori walked away and spoke into the other end. "Now can you hear me?"

"Yes, me hear you good." The caveboy said.

The others were impressed.

"Me want to try." The oldest cave girl said.

"Beauty before age." Said the third youngest cavegirl.

"Yeah, so me try first." The fourth youngest cavegirl said.

"You want it? You guys can have it!" Lori threw the tin can walkie talkie on the ground. The siblings immediately started to fight over it as they left Lori. Lori went back to the shady spot.

"Ah, finally." She turned on her phone but found out there was no internet connection. "No connection? Dang it! I forget that electronic stuff didn't exist in this time period!"

Frustrated, she kicked a pebble into the air. The pebble flew and hit the youngest cave sibling, causing her to cry. The other siblings stopped their fighting and saw the baby crying. She pointed at Lori. The siblings became furious and chased after Lori. Lori panicked and ran away, into the time machine. The siblings started attacking the time machine. The fifth oldest cave girl punches the keypads and was strong enough to break them. The machine glowed and then it disappeared. The machine shakes from the inside as Lori gets scared. The machine travels through different dimensions, then it completely disappears. Lori is seen in a blank white void. She looks around.

"They're not here. My siblings aren't here! I think I've finally found a place where I can be all…" Lori becomes tiny. "-alone."

A bunch of "alone" sayings appear with a different voice as each comes up. Continuous "Alone" chanting is heard, as the screen gets smaller and smaller. Lori gets freaked out.

"I gotta get outta here!" Lori tried to escape but runs in a loop. She stops to catch her breath.

"Where's the time machine?! Where's anything?! Where? Where? Where? Where?-"

Lori was jumping up and down in frustration and she busts a hole in the ground, sending her falling back into the time machine.

"I wanna go home!" She cries as she bangs on the machine. "I wanna go home! I wanna go home! I wanna go home! I miss Royal Woods! I miss my family! I even miss Clyde!"

Suddenly, the time machine teleported back to the present, and in the front yard of the Loud house where the other siblings are seen, and also Clyde. Lori comes out.

"Hey guys!" Lori said happily.

"Hey Lori!" The kids replied.

"What were you doing with my time machine?" Lisa questioned.

"Wow, I'm back! I can't believe this! I was in space, then I went to the future, and then the past. Then I was nowhere, but I'm back and I'm so happy to see you guys!"

"Does that mean you'll give us all a ride?" Lincoln asked.

"I'd love to."

"You can also join me and Lincoln for the walkie talkie convention." Clyde mentioned.

"Lame! Who's the moron who invented walkie talkies anyway?"

The other kids pointed at Lori. "You are!"

They laugh. Lori was not amused.

"I'm going back."


	58. Chapter 58: Leni's Sweet Ride

**This chapter has been requested by Aartman7141999, who wanted a parody of the episode: No Free Rides**

 **This is like a sequel to the LH episode: Driving Miss Hazy**

* * *

Leni Loud is at the DMV and is once again, taking her driving test. The driving instructor is in the car with Leni, and looks terrified.

"Watch out Leni!"

CRASH!

Someone had been knocked down.

"What happened?" Leni asked, dazed from the crash.

"Oh nothing, Leni." The driving instructor said calmly. "You just struck another pedestrian. Minus twenty more points."

"How many does that leave me with?"

"Negative two hundred and twenty four."

"How many more minutes left in the test?"

"The test is over."

"That's enough time! I can make up those points!"

"No Leni, don't-"

Leni pulled the gear stick backwards and the car went back. Leni hit past some obstacles like the traffic cones and a brick wall before crashing into a pole. The car broke down.

"Ok, how many points was that?"

"Six."

Leni cheered. "Whoo! And how many do I need to pass?"

"Six."

Leni cheered again.

"Hundred."

"Huh?"

"Six hundred. You need six hundred to pass. You got six."

"Don't worry!" Leni was trying to keep it together. "I'll be alright sir! Besides, this means I can try again another time!"

She slams her fist down, causing a piece of the motor to fly upward.

"Well, see ya next time!" Leni leaves. The motor piece hits the instructor on the head. Leni walks off, singing.

"I'm gonna be the best, once I pass that test!"

"Oh great, another driving test with her." The instructor said sarcastically before fainting.

* * *

Leni went back home, where Lori was waiting to hear the news.

"Leni, did you pass your test?"

"Well, no. But I can always take the test again. I got six points and I need six hundred more to pass."

"Oh, is that all?"

"I mean it took me a day to earn six points, so it'll probably take about a month or longer to earn all six hundred points. But I'll eventually get that license."

Leni goes into the kitchen. Lori sighs.

"Oh Leni, I wish I could help you." Lori says to herself. "Too bad I can't take your test for you and get your license myself….or can I?"

She goes upstairs and into her room. She takes one of Leni's dresses and a long blonde wig out of the closet. She had an idea. "Oh, this has got to work."

* * *

At the DMV, the driving instructor is seen in his car. He sees someone. "Leni, you're back already?"

But the person was not actually Leni. It was really Lori disguised as Leni.

"Yes sir, I'm ready to take that test again." "Leni" said as she made her voice sound like her younger sister's.

"I don't think you are. We should try this again next week, or next month."

"NO! I wanna take that driving test right now!"

The instructor was surprised with "Leni's" change of tone.

"I mean, I've visually learned about driving from my older sister and I'd really like to try again. I guarantee I'll do better this time. Please?"

She gave the instructor a sad look with puppy dog eyes. The instructor hesitated first.

"Oh, what the heck. I can't say no to that face."

"Leni" smiles. She gets in a car and is at the front of the driving track with the instructor.

"Let the testing begin." The instructor said.

Lori easily made it through the driving track and got to the finish line. The driving teacher was speechless.

"So, like how did I do?" "Leni" asked.

"Th-That was just...perfect!" He was impressed. "You did way better than the last test! You didn't hit any obstacles. How did you manage that?"

"Leni" shrugged. "Like I said before, I've been watching my sister Lori."

"Well, it actually worked. You passed!" The instructor gave her the driver's license. "And here's your license!"

"Yes! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

* * *

Lori arrived back home and took off the disguise. Leni was in the living room, painting her nails and Lori came over to her.

"Hey Leni, I've got a surprise for you." She shows her the license.

"You made a fake license for me?"

"No, this is literally your real driver's license." Lori fibbed. "I got a call from the DMV and your instructor said you actually passed. He wanted me to tell you the surprise."

"But I don't understand, I thought I was way behind."

"Well..uh...He said you deserved extra credit for just trying your hardest."

"Oh, ok." Leni held out her license. "Wow, I can't believe it. My driver's license."

She smelled it. "It smells like how I dreamt it would. I'm gonna go call my friends and tell them the news."

She went upstairs. "Look out Royal Woods, there's a new driver in town and her name is Leni Loud!"

Lori becomes worried as Leni's name repeats in her mind. "Leni Loud! Leni Loud!"

 _Lori imagines Leni driving Vanzilla recklessly through the town. She hits a few pedestrians as she happily drives. She knocks over a bus, crushing a citizen and runs over a couple of people having a picnic. She is oblivious to all this._

 _"So much destruction." The news reporter is seen on TV and the town is on fire. "This reporter asks "Why?" Local consensus places the blame on this negligent, selfish driving instructor who-"_

 _Leni runs him over._

 _"Let's not-use that take."_

We go back to reality. Lori shakes the thought out of her head. "Don't worry Lori, you'll just have to make sure Leni doesn't drive Vanzilla. I'm going to the mall."

Lori goes outside and takes off with Vanzilla.

* * *

It is evening now. Lori comes back home with Vanzilla, carrying a shopping bag. "I hope Dad cooked some of that pasta for dinner."

Lori enters the house and sees her family, except for Leni, in the living room. They had party decorations up and there was a cake in the living room.

"Lori, there you are." Rita said.

"What's going on here?" Lori wondered.

"Didn't you hear dude? Leni got her license." Luna said.

"Oh, right."

"And we're celebrating." Luan said. "Check out the cake!"

Lori saw the cake. It said "Congratulations Leni!"

"Man, we were starting to think Leni would never get her license." Lincoln said. "But she never gave up. She never quit. She never took the easy way."

"Oh...heh, yeah." Lori said nervously. "Where is Leni anyway?"

"She wanted to freshen up before the party." Rita said.

"I'm back!" Leni said as she walks back down. "Oh hey Lori, where you at the mall?"

"Yeah, I got you some new clothes."

"Sweet."

"Me and your mother have a surprise for you too." Lynn Sr. stated. "It's in the garage. Come and see everyone."

They all head into the garage, where something is covered by a sheet. Lynn Sr. pulls off the sheet revealing-

"A brand new car!" Leni and Lori said simultaneously. The car was a golden convertible. Leni fainted and Lori caught her.

"I'm guessing she likes it." Rita said.

Then Leni woke up. "Wha- oh guys, I just had this dream that I got my driver's license and then I got a convertible-"

She sees the car. "That wasn't a dream. This is really happening! Thanks Mom and Dad!"

"You're welcome honey." Lynn Sr. said.

"You'll be driving by tomorrow." Rita said. "Now let's go enjoy your party."

Everyone leaves the garage, but Lori stays behind as she felt guilty.

"What have I done? Everyone will find out the truth. I'm gonna be in so much trouble! No! I've got to take that car away for Leni's own good."

* * *

It was bedtime now. Leni was in her pajamas, brushing her teeth in the bathroom. When she was done, she sneaked downstairs and went to the garage. She went over to the new car.

"Hi Converty." She said to the convertible. She felt it and gasped. "Converty, you're cold. Here, take my sleeping mask."

She puts it on the convertible and lays inside it. "Oh Converty, I'm always gonna take care of you. You're the best car in the world."

She kisses the steering wheel and sighs contentedly.

* * *

Lori goes into the garage, disguised as a robber. She goes over to the convertible and sits in the driver's seat.

"This is literally the riskiest thing I've ever done." She said to herself. She started the car, opened the garage, and drove away with the car. She was unaware that she was sitting on Leni, who had fallen asleep. Then Leni wakes up.

"Hey, I'm driving!"

Lori and Leni saw each other and screamed. But since Lori was dressed as a robber, Leni didn't know it was her. She got up.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my convertible? And why are you wearing that ski mask? Because you're not skiing! OMG, I know who you are!"

Lori panicked. "No! You don't know who I am!"

"Yes I do! I know that you're a convertible jacker! I never thought I'd have to use this pepper spray!"

Leni gets out a can of pepper spray but sprays herself instead since the can was aimed in her direction. It gets in her eyes and her eyes get watery.

"Ahhh! Somebody help me! Somebody help me!"

Lori kicks her out of the car. "Sorry sis, but it was for your own good."

Leni is riding a scooter, catching up to Lori. Lori speeds up.

"Give me back my convertible!" Leni speeds up to the car. She pulls out a scarf and uses it to hang onto the convertible. She's being dragged in the air.

"You better stop thief!"

Lori speeds up more and the scarf stretches out as Leni is still hanging on.

"I'm not letting go!" Leni yelled. "Nothing will stop me! Not even-cactuses?!"

There was a cactuses sign up ahead. Leni ended up going through the field of cactuses and came out covered in thorns, but was still hanging on.

"I'm not letting go even for-mouse traps?!"

There was a mouse trap sign up ahead and Leni ended up going through a pile of mouse traps, but she was still hanging on.

"If you think I'll let go even for-socks with sandals?!" There was a socks with sandals sign up ahead. "Oh no!"

Leni screams as Lori looks back.

"Looks like that got rid of her. Now for some tunes." Lori turned the dial to different stations. Then she heard a police siren and saw a bearded officer up ahead.

"Oh no, a cop!" Lori panicked. She stopped the car and the cop approached her.

"Look Officer, it's not what it looks like."

"It is what it looks like. It looks like-my car!" The officer ripped off his beard and uniform, revealing to be Leni. Lori screamed and Leni tackled her. Leni was fighting with the "robber" as the car drove out of control. Two real officers were seen in a police car. They noticed the convertible.

"What the-" One Officer said. The convertible was flying towards the two officers as they screamed. Leni was attacking the "robber."

"I'd never let you have this car!" Leni said. "Not even if you were-"

She removes the ski mask and gasps. "Lori?"

Leni's mind was blown. The convertible crashed onto the police car. The police car's siren went off.

* * *

At the Royal Woods prison, Leni is talking to Lori over the phone as Lori is in a cell. Rita and Lynn Sr. were there too. They were talking with the warden.

"So how's it going Lori?" Leni asked.

"Leni, I'd like to apologize. I pretended to be you at the DMV. I just wanted to help you pass your test, but you really weren't ready."

"So I guess I have to give my license back, huh?"

"Yeah, and I bet Mom and Dad are gonna punish me now."

Then Lynn Sr. and Rita showed up.

"Hey Leni, did you tell Lori about the deal?" Lynn Sr. said.

"Oh yeah." Lori speaks to Leni. "Dad says you have to work at his restaurant to pay for the damages to the car."

"Sounds fair." Lori said.

"Also, the warden will let you go if we do her a favor." Lynn Sr. said, talking on the phone.

"What's that?"

"Make one free Lynn-sagna."


	59. Chapter 59: The Royal Ditz

**A parody of the episode: Rule Of Dumb**

* * *

A fancy dressed blonde woman walks up to the Loud house and knocks on the door. Leni answers.

"Hi, can I help you?" Leni asked.

"Good day ma'am, I am-"

"(gasps) I know exactly who you are!" Leni shuts the door and runs upstairs. She bumps into Lincoln.

"Lincoln help! She's onto me! I don't have much time!"

Leni runs to her room and comes out with her library books. She hides them under the couch.

"Leni, what are you doing?" Lincoln asked.

"Hiding my books!"

"Why?"

"I'll show you why!" Leni drags Lincoln over to the front window. "See that lady? She's from the library! She knows about my overdue books!"

The lady was checking the time on her watch. Lincoln gasped.

"I'm gonna get thrown in the big house!" Leni panicked. "And you know what that means?"

"Prison uniforms?"

"Exactly!" Leni cries as she buries her face on the ground. Lincoln comforted her.

"Don't you worry Leni! Your brother's got your back!"

Lincoln opened the front door as the lady was still waiting. "Hi there."

"Salutations. Say, aren't you related to that teenage blonde girl with the sunglasses?"

"What? Me? No. I don't even know the name of that alleged blonde girl. I'm sure Leni doesn't owe you any overdue library books." Lincoln covered his mouth when he realized he mentioned his sister's name.

"Well, it's too bad you don't know Leni Loud, because I'm from the Royal Woods ministry. And I have a gift for her."

The woman takes out a crown. Leni bursts out the front door.

"A gift for me? What is it?" She takes the crown and holds it upside down.

"Hmm...oh, I see. It's some kind of cooking pot."

"It's a crown Leni." Lincoln said.

"Indeed." The woman said and put it onto Leni's head. "Allow me to show you something."

She takes out a document and unties it. It shows people of royalty, also the Loud family. "What I have in my hand is a family tree that goes back centuries. It starts with the marriage of King Winston Sr. and Queen Jennifer. Then through a few generations, the crown is passed onto you Madam Leni, which makes you a descendant of royalty. You are a queen."

The lady puts the document away.

"And now it's time I ajore to the Royal Woods ministry where I shall be at your service, your highness."

She bows down and walks away. Leni looks confused.

"Wow Leni, that's great!" Lincoln said.

"What is?"

"That you're a queen."

"What's so great about being a queen?"

"When you're a queen, you can get anything you want."

"Anything I want? Ok. Let's do some shopping at the mall!"

"Your wish is my command, your majesty."

* * *

Lincoln and Leni enter the mall as Lincoln is dressed as Leni's servant and Leni has on a fur cape.

"Good towns people, let us rejoice in welcoming our new queen!" Lincoln introduced Leni as a queen to the people in the mall.

"Queen needs new clothes badly." Leni said.

Then Leni's boss, Mrs. Carmichael showed up. "What's going on-(gasps)."

She sees Leni wearing a crown and walks up to the two siblings.

"What can I do for you Leni?"

Lincoln answered. "The queen would like-"

"Zip it kid!" She shoves him away. "I'm talking to the rich girl."

"I'd like some new dresses," Leni ordered. "A new swimsuit, a new nightgown-"

"I've got a better idea." Mrs. Carmichael said.

* * *

Now Leni has a shopping cart full of new clothes.

"There you are Leni." Her boss said. "A shopping haul fit for a queen."

"Yay!" Leni said happily.

"Listen Leni, there's a time in every woman's life where she's got to settle down. You know, get a husband, kids, a mother in law you give all your money too."

Leni wasn't really paying attention. "Yeah, that's great. Hey, can I get another pair of sandals?"

"How about you pay the check instead?"

"Sorry Mrs. Carmichael, no can do. As queen of Royal Woods, I'm allowed to have anything I want. Isn't that right Lincoln?"

"Yep." Lincoln confirmed. "Anything you want and it's all for free."

"All free?!!" Mrs. Carmichael kicked the two kids out of the mall. "Nobody buys clothes here for free! Queen or no queen!"

She walks off. Thicc QT walks out of the mall holding a smoothie. Leni approaches her.

"You gonna finish that?"

"I was planning to. Why?"

"I want it." Leni took her smoothie.

"Hey! What gives you the right to take my smoothie?"

"Tell her Lincoln."

"Uh Leni, I'm not sure if this is what a queen-"

Leni glared at Lincoln. "I thought you said I could have anything I want. Was my own brother lying to me?"

"Don't be ridiculous Leni. I'd never lie to you."

"Good. Now tell her!"

Thicc QT glared at Lincoln as he smiled nervously.

"Hi." He shows her the document. "By proclamation of the Royal Woods ministry, the queen is allowed to get whatever she wants."

"This isn't fair." Thicc QT walks away.

"Life isn't fair pal." Leni replied. "Get used to it."

Then Darcy walks by holding a box full of fashion magazines. "Yay! I did it! I bought all the newest fashion magazines with my allowance! Now my dreams of becoming a fashion designer are gonna come true. Mommy's gonna be so proud!"

Leni blocked her. "No she won't be because these fashion magazines are mine."

She took the box away from Darcy. Darcy got sad.

"But it took me days to get those!"

"Well now you can spend the rest of your days crying about it. I'm the queen!"

"I will cry about it! I'll cry to my mommy!" Darcy ran off crying. Leni laughed.

"I love being queen!"

* * *

Leni goes around town as a queen, taking people's possessions as Lincoln shows them the royal document. She even took a baby's pacifier. At the Loud house, there was a line of people waiting to give stuff to Leni. The house also looked more like a castle. Lincoln was at the front of the line taking the items.

"Thank you sir." Lincoln said to an old man, taking his walker. "I'm sure Leni could use this walker."

"Why does Leni even need a walker?" Rita asked as she was next to Lincoln.

"Beats me."

The old man fell over. Inside the house, Leni was sitting in her throne in the living room, reading a fashion magazine as Lori was painting Leni's toenails. The house looked fancy now.

"Hey Leni, I was wondering if I could use that indoor pool." Lori mentioned.

"Oh, of course Lori."

"Yes!"

In the garage, Luna, Luan, Lynn, and Lana were hanging out in the indoor pool. Leni entered the garage, wearing her swimsuit. "Hey you guys, out of the pool. It's for queens only. You guys use the kiddie pool in the backyard."

The sisters complained. Leni pointed her finger to the door and her sisters left disappointed. She went into the pool and relaxed. Lori came in with her swimsuit.

"Oh, I see there's more room for the both of us." Lori said.

"Actually, just for me. This is the queen pool for queens only."

"But you literally said I could use it."

"Well, now you can use the kiddie pool."

"But-"

Leni pointed to the door. Lori left angrily. In the kitchen, Lynn Sr. was making salad and the twins came in.

"Dad, I thought we having chicken nuggets for dinner." Lana said.

"Well, Leni is a queen. And as the queen, I have to make what she wants for dinner."

Lola growled. "Why does Leni get to be queen? I should be queen! I've always wanted to be a queen!"

* * *

The next day, Lola woke up and found herself sleeping in the hallway. "What the-what am I doing out here?"

Lana was also sleeping in the hallway. Lola went into her room and saw it was different, which surprised her. It was now a beauty salon.

"Wha-Wha-What's going on? What's happened to our room?!"

Lana woke up groggy. "Hey, keep it down."

"Lana! Look at our room!"

"Wait, why am I sleeping in the hallway?"

"Our room has been turned into a beauty salon!"

"No way!" Lana was surprised and went to look. "Noooo! Who did this?"

"Leni." Lola said as she narrowed her eyes.

Outside, some construction workers were tending to Leni's orders. They had made a statue of Leni and were setting it in the front yard.

"Back, back, ok, there!" Leni ordered.

The twins came outside and marched to Leni.

"Leni, what the heck?" Lola said. "Why did you turn our room into a beauty salon?"

"Because I thought you wouldn't mind."

"Well, I don't mind."

"I do." Lana said.

"But you kicked us out of our room! Where will we sleep now?"

"You can always sleep in the attic." Lincoln said. "Isn't that great?"

"No! It's not great, it's horrible! Ok, that's it!"

Lola turned to the town citizens. "People of Royal Woods, stop! Stop! Leni's no queen! Look at her! How can this dope be queen?"

Leni made a derpy face. Lola walked up to a construction worker.

"You! Do you honestly believe that air headed blonde could be the king of anything? Queen of dumb blondes...and fashion, maybe."

"You might be into something kid." The worker agreed.

"Yeah, see?"

The town citizens also agreed with Lola.

"Yeah, why are we giving this girl all of our stuff?" One guy said and the citizens walked off.

"See? You're not a queen!" Lola said to Leni. "And now they think so too!"

"Get her! Attack!" Leni yelled. The rest of the family came outside.

"What is going on out here?" Rita said.

"Lincoln, get Lola!" Leni commanded. "So I decree. Attack!"

"Uh, right away your majesty." Lincoln walked up to Lola, who was boiling mad. "Hey Lola?"

"What?"

He showed her a treaty. "Can I get you to sign this treaty promising your loyalty to Queen Leni?"

"Gimme that!" She snatched it. "A treaty huh? Well here's what I think of your treaty!"

She ripped it to pieces and stormed off. "I'm outta here."

"Well, at least I have my other loyal family members." Leni said. She turned to the family. "Loyal family, I have some more house makeover ideas that I'd like to be done."

"Oh, uh, actually, I have some errands to run." Lynn Sr. said.

"Yeah, me too." Rita said.

The other kids, except Lincoln, decided to follow their parents. The rest of the family wanted to get away from Leni for a while. They drove off in Vanzilla, even though they were still in their PJs.

* * *

In the living room, Lincoln was sitting on a chair as Leni was ranting.

"All my royal subjects have deserted me. And it's all because of that horrible Lola! This is all her fault! Not mine, hers!"

Leni's head crackles and a spring comes out.

"Leni, what's happened to you?" Lincoln said concerned. "This isn't the Leni I know."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Uh..(laughs nervously) I just remembered that Clyde and I were planning on going to the arcade today and-"

"And what?"

"And...it's just that..um...you're kinda being a jerk."

Leni laughs. "I thought you were gonna say I was abusing my power."

"Well, I-"

"WHO SAYS I'M ABUSING MY POWER?!"

Lincoln shrunk down in fear and ran away.

"I'll put the whole town in prison!" Leni rips off her cape. "Questioning my authority is treason! All these queeny speeches are making me thirsty. Lincoln, I request a drink...Lincoln? Lincoln!"

Lincoln was now gone.

"Oh, everybody's gone. I'm all alone...Fine! I'll get it myself!" Leni walks past a big mirror which showed her reflection was different.

"Knock knock." Said a voice.

"Oh boy, a knock knock joke!" Leni goes back to face the mirror. It shows Leni's reflection as an ugly monster.

"Who's there?"

"Me." Said her reflection.

"I don't get it."

"I'm you and you're me."

Leni's small brain was functioning and she got the message. "Aah! What have I become?"

Leni ran out of the house. "Monster! Monster!"

She bumped into the fancy blonde lady she met yesterday. "Huh? Oh, it's-it's you!"

She handed her the crown. "Here! Take this back! I don't want it anymore! It's turned me into a monster!"

"Oh, I think I know what's going on here. Leni, with great power comes great responsibility."

Leni was shaking in fear.

"You haven't got a clue what I just told you, do you?"

"Nope."

"Ah, just as well. I've come to take the crown back, as it would seem you're not royalty after all."

Leni stops shaking. "Huh?"

The lady shows her the document again, showing a picture of Lily. "Yes, I discovered that Lady Lily is the true heir to the queen's crown."

* * *

The family found out about Lily being the true queen and came back home. A crown was put on Lily. Lincoln and Leni were dressed as her servants.

"Well, would you look at that?" Lincoln said. "Lily, you're royalty."

Lily smiled with delight. "Poo poo?"


	60. Chapter 60: The Stink

**Here's a parody based on the episode: Something Smells**

* * *

Today is Sunday. Lincoln was awoken by his alarm and he turned it off. Then he checked his calendar and looked at the viewers. "Sweet! Today's Sunday! And guess what I'm having for breakfast?"

Lincoln and Charles went into the kitchen. "That's right. A sundae!"

He got out a bowl and set it on the counter. Then he opened the freezer but it was empty. "Whoops. Looks like we're out of ice cream. Guess I'll have to use something else. Mayonnaise!"

He poured a jar of mayonnaise into the bowl. He looked inside the fridge for more ingredients. "Bananas, cherries. Boring."

He got a can of sauerkraut. "Sauerkraut!"

He dumped it into the bowl as Charles looked at the "dessert" with disgust. "Ok, just one more thing."

He checked the cupboards and saw one last peanut in a jar. "Only one peanut left? Charles, our peanut supply is empty."

Charles burps.

"Wait! I know one other place where we can find peanuts." Lincoln went to the couch and looked under the cushion. He found- "My peanut butter with peanuts inside. Why did I put this here again?...Oh, that's right. We ran out of space in the fridge."

He went back to the kitchen and poured the peanut butter with peanuts onto the gross sundae. The peanut butter smelled bad and it caused the sundae to smell even worse. The mayonnaise changed to a different color. "A little texture never hurt. There we go."

He took out a spoon. "This sundae's gonna taste great. Aren't you gonna help me Charles?...Charles?"

Charles has left.

"Oh well, more for me." Lincoln started eating his rancid sundae.

* * *

Lincoln finished eating his sundae and came out of the kitchen, looking stuffed and satisfied. The sundae gave him bad breath. Charles was seen in the living room.

"You know what they say Charles. I'm easy like Sunday morning."

His bad breath reaches Charles and the dog's eyes water up. He runs off.

* * *

Lincoln was now outside. "Ok, let's see my to do list."

He takes out a long list and reads. "Get ready for school. Arrive at school. Arrive on time for class. Wait, this is my Monday through Friday list. I need the one for Sunday." He takes out a small piece of paper. "Say hi to everyone in Royal Woods."

The white haired boy rushes off, letting his bad breath fill the air. In town, he greets a man. "Hello."

The man smelled his bad breath. He covered his nose in disgust and ran away.

"I guess he was running late for work." Lincoln said as he was oblivious to his foul breath. A mailman was seen walking by.

"Hi mailman."

Lincoln's breath reaches his nostrils and his face turned pale and wrinkly. Lincoln looked concerned but then noticed a crossing guard. "Hi Ms. crossing guard."

His nasty breath reaches her nose and she looks disgusted. "Mother of mercy!"

She ran off, leaving the kids to cross with her. A car was heard coming by and the kids panicked. Lincoln looked away as a crashing sound was heard. Then he saw a marching band parade coming by.

"Wow, a parade! Hi parade!"

The parade members stopped and noticed Lincoln.

"Hi tuba player! Hi drummer! Hi guy with the cymbals! Hi trumpeter! Hi tambourine girl! Hi timboley man! Hi didgeridoo player! Hi triangle player! Hi guy with the kettle drum! Hi pianist! Hi guy with the flute! And helloooo, Dolly!"

While Lincoln was greeting the band members, his bad breath formed a giant stench ball. It rolled towards the parade like a bowling ball and they were knocked over like pins. Everyone freaked out and ran away, leaving the white haired boy alone.

"Was it something I said?" Lincoln questioned. He walked through town. "Something weird is going on. Everyone's running away from me. And now, sewer mutants digging through the dumpster."

He saw something digging through a dumpster, but it wasn't a mutant. It was his little sister Lana covered in garbage. She shook the trash off. "Hey big bro."

"Oh, hey Lana. I'm confused."

"About what?"

"Everyone is running away from me for some reason. Watch." Lincoln walked up to a building. "Hi building."

Somehow, the building moved away from Lincoln. Lincoln went back to Lana.

"I just don't get it." Lincoln's bad breath went into Lana's nose, but Lana was used to bad smells so it didn't affect her.

"I don't either." Lana replied. "Maybe it's the way you're dressed."

We see a close up of Lincoln's clothes as he looks well dressed.

"Nah." The two siblings said in unison.

"Maybe it's your voice."

Lincoln chuckled for a moment. Then he looked serious. "Yeah right Lana."

"Well, maybe it's just because you're ugly."

"Me? Ugly?" Lincoln put his finger in his mouth, and used his saliva to slick his cowlick back, then posed to the viewers as a spotlight shines on him. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"Let's try the reflection test then." Lana got out a big mirror.

"Hi." Lincoln greeted his reflection. Even his reflection could smell his nasty breath. It took out a hammer and used it to break the mirror. It shattered into pieces.

"Ugly." Lana said.

"Oh no!" Lincoln panicked. "I can't be ugly! I can't be! I can't be ugly!"

Lincoln ran up to a couple. "Am I ugly?

They smelled his breath and climbed up a rope to avoid him. Lincoln got on the front of a motorcycle as a guy was riding it. "Am I ugly?"

His bad breath got in the guy's face. "My eyes!" He turned left and right, trying to shake Lincoln off. He crashed and Lincoln flew off and landed on the ground. A police officer came and put a ticket on the damaged motorcycle. A tire from the vehicle landed on Lincoln's face.

"I'm ugly!"

* * *

Later that day at the Loud house, Lana is in the bathroom unclogging the toilet. She just finished up. "Man, I thought I would never get this job done."

Lana exits the bathroom and walks downstairs to tell her family. "Ok guys, the toilet's unclogged!"

Her family wasn't here. "Guys? Hello?"

She checked the dining room and the kitchen, then the garage and the backyard. She goes back to the living room. "Hmm...where did everyone go?"

Then she heard organ music playing upstairs. She walked upstairs and heard the music coming from Lincoln's room. She opens the door and sees her brother in the dark. He's playing Luna's old keyboard while his back is turned towards Lana. He's also wearing a cape.

"Lincoln?"

Lincoln turned around, revealing he's also wearing Luan's old Groucho glasses. He turned back to the keyboard.

"Go." He said depressed. "Run away like everyone else."

"Wait, where's our family?"

"I don't know. They left the house when they saw me."

We cut to the family driving in Vanzilla. They arrive at a store.

"Ok guys, we need to buy Lincoln as many breath mints as we can." Lynn Sr. ordered.

"Also, toothpaste and mouthwash." Lola added.

"Let's go." Rita said. And the family headed inside the store. We go back to Lincoln and Lana.

"No one would want to be around someone as ugly as me."

"Sure they would. It makes them feel better about the way they look. Maybe a story will cheer you up."

Lana sat on Lincoln's bed as the boy gave her his attention. "This is a story Lucy told me. It's called The Ugly Vampire."

Lincoln smiled, hoping the story would lift his spirits.

"Once there was an ugly vampire, he was so ugly that everyone died. The end."

Lincoln's smile went away and he was sad. "That didn't help at all. How long? How long have I been ugly Lana?"

"As long as I can remember, you poor ugly thing."

Lincoln grabbed Lana. "Help me! I'm so ashamed! I'm spiraling! I'm spiraling!"

Lana slapped him.

"Thanks Lana."

Lana was about to slap him again but Lincoln stopped her.

"I-It's ok Lana. Spiraling over."

"Just do what I do when I have problems. SCREAM!"

Lana screamed in Lincoln's face, getting saliva on it. "Come on bro, I'll help you."

Lana dragged her brother with her.

* * *

The two siblings were outside in the front yard.

"Ok now, say it." Lana told her brother.

Lincoln didn't say anything.

"Say it."

"...I can't."

"Lincoln, you're never gonna feel better until you get this thing off your chest."

Lincoln had a leech in his chest. "I know Lana." He pulled the leech off and tossed it away.

"Now say it...Say it."

"I'm ugly." Lincoln said in a small voice.

"You're ugly and what?"

"White haired?"

"No, proud."

"I'm ugly and I'm proud."

"Good. Say it louder."

"I'm ugly and I'm proud."

"Louder."

"I'm ugly and I'm proud!"

"Louder!"

"I'M UGLY AND I'M PROUD! I'M UGLY AND I'M PROUD! I'M UGLY AND I'M PROUD!"

Mr. Grouse, who was sunbathing outside, heard Lincoln. "Is that what he calls it?"

"That..felt...great!" Lincoln said happily. "I feel empowered!"

"So what do you wanna do now?" Lana asked.

"Hmm...let's go see a movie."

* * *

At the movie theater, Lincoln and Lana were walking to the front row of the theater room. Lana has gotten two drinks for herself.

"Hey Lana, I'm glad I'm spending time with you." Lincoln said. "You were the only person who didn't run away from me."

"Well, I couldn't avoid my favorite and only brother."

They got to the front row.

"Excuse me." Lincoln said. "Ugly white haired boy coming through."

Lincoln's bad breath literally knocked two people out. They fell back into the second row.

"People respect self esteem." Lana said. The two siblings sat down in the empty seats. Lincoln looked at a woman on his left.

"Hi. I'm very ugly but you should enjoy the movie anyway."

His breath was so bad it melted her complexion and made her hair fall off. Lincoln felt uneased. He looked at a man on his right.

"Excuse me sir, I hope my horrible ugliness won't be a distraction to you."

"Not at all boy." He smelled Lincoln's breath. "DEUUEAUGH!!!"

The man ran away.

"Don't worry about him Lincoln." Lana told Lincoln. "He's just a-"

She notices Lincoln crying.

"Lincoln, what's wrong?"

"I can't do this Lana! I've tried and I've tried but I'm not always as confident as I look! Maybe I should just go back home and hide."

This made Lana become angry at how everyone was acting towards Lincoln. She threw her drinks on the floor. "What is wrong with you people?! Afraid to look ugliness in the face? Well, here! Look at it! It's ugly, isn't it?"

Lana dragged Lincoln around and showed him to everyone in the room.

"You look at it!"

Hi." Lincoln greeted. Lincoln's bad breath made people leave.

"You look at it!"

"Hi."

"Look at it! Look at it! Look at it! Look at it! I want all of you to look at it!"

Everyone in the movie theatre ran outside.

"They all ran away Lana."

"I bet there's no line at the snack bar."

The two head to the snack bar. Lana called out for service. "Hello? Hello?" She turned back to Lincoln. "They must be on break."

Then Lincoln remembered something. "Oh, wait Lana, I just remembered. I've got some of my peanut sauerkraut sundae we can share."

Lincoln pulled the rest of his sundae out of his pocket. The smell burned Lana's eyebrows.

"That looks pretty good actually." Lana said. She ate the sundae and now she had bad breath. "Ooh, I gotta go use the restroom."

She ran to the restroom.

* * *

Lana was washing her hands in the restroom. She turned to a girl next to her that was washing her hands. "I'm out of soap. Can I borrow-"

"Stay back!" The girl could smell Lana's foul breath.

"I just wanted-"

"Here! Here's my money! Take it! Just take it and go away!" The girl ran away.

"My hands aren't that dirty. Or are they?" Lana sniffed her hands. She walked up to a group of girls. "Hey, you guys wanna hear a bathroom joke?"

Lana's breath reaches their noses and they gagged.

"Are you trying to kill us?" One of the girls yelled. They walked out of the bathroom, covering their noses. Lana looked in the mirror and gasped as she realized something.

"Uh no! I caught the ugly!"

* * *

Outside of the girls restroom, Lincoln was pacing back and forth as he was waiting for his sister. "What's taking her?"

He went up to the door. "Lana, are you doing alright in there?"

No response.

"I know I'm not allowed to come in there, but I'm going to anyway." Lincoln entered the women's bathroom and heard someone crying. He opened a stall to see Lana wearing a paper bag over her head as she sobbed.

"What are you doing in there Lana?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"And why is that bag over your head?"

"Why? Oh no reason. Except you gave me the ugly!"

Lana took the bag off and Lincoln cringed, even though Lana looked the same.

"What am I going to do now? I can't go out looking like this!"

"Just remember what we talked about. There's power in pride."

"That may be fine for you, but I was one of the beautiful people. Now look at me. I'm almost as ugly as you!"

As Lana was complaining, her breath reaches Lincoln's nose and he smelled it. He gagged.

"I'm too young to be ugly."

Lincoln covered his nose. "Lana?"

"What's my family gonna say?"

"Lana?"

"Lola's gonna make fun of me for sure."

"Lana?"

"If the school finds out-"

"Lana?"

"well, there are some rather ugly kids that go to our school, but still-"

"LANAAAAA! You're not ugly. Your breath stinks. Really bad."

"Oh, what a relief." Lana said relieved as her nasty breath formed into the shape of a skull. Lincoln had tears in his eyes from the stench.

"Dang sis, what did you eat?"

"Some roast beef, a chicken, a dog biscuit."

"No, I mean just this morning."

"Some roast beef, a chicken, a dog biscuit."

"What else?"

"Well I had some of your sundae."

"Sundae." Lincoln realized the truth. He pulled out some more of his sundae from his pocket. "Lana, my sundae gave us rancid breath!"

"So we're not ugly?"

"Yes, we just stink!"

"Stink?"

The two siblings cheered. "Hooray! We stink! We stink! We stink!"

They ran around in circles and their rancid breath spread through the theater. It was so bad that it melted the theater down. They ran off. Mr. Grouse is seen looking through the window of a wig store. The kids go over to him.

"Hey, guess what Mr. Grouse?" Lincoln said.

"We stink!" Both siblings said as they hugged their elderly neighbor. Then they ran away happily.

"I stink! I reek!" Lana shouted.

"Smell me! Smell me!" Lincoln shouted.

* * *

 **Epilogue**

The two siblings went back home. Lincoln found the front door was locked.

"Hey, the door's locked."

Then the family is seen through the window.

"Lincoln, you're not allowed in here until you take care of your breath." Rita said.

"Yeah, your breath smells worse than Lana's." Lola said.

"So what if me and Lincoln stink?" Lana said. "Is that really a bad thing? We stink and we're proud of it! We reek! We smell! We-"

"Ok, I'll brush my teeth." Lincoln said.

Lynn Sr. opened the door and let Lincoln in. He looked at Lana. "You might as do the same missy."

Lana sighed. "Well, it was great while it lasted."


	61. Chapter 61: Ronnie Anne-igans

**A parody of the episode: Shellback Shenanigans.**

 **I'd like to give credit to DarthWill3 for the chapter suggestion and ideas. This was one of the most complex chapters I ever wrote, and it turned out pretty good.**

* * *

At school, Lincoln is at his locker talking on his phone to Ronnie Anne.

"It'll be fun spending some time with you this weekend." Lincoln said. "Ok, later loser."

After Lincoln was done talking, he noticed his younger siblings, Lucy, the twins, and Lisa coming up to him.

"So who were you talking to?" Lola asked.

"If you must know, it was Ronnie Anne. She's visiting our place tomorrow."

The girls squealed.

"Are you going on a date with your girlfriend?" Lana asked excitedly.

"She's not my girlfriend! We're just friends!"

"But you too would make such a cute couple." Lola said.

"Too bad!"

From a corner of the hallway, Lena overheard the conversation and was curious. She saw Lincoln's friends, Rusty, Liam, and Zach walking over. She recognized them.

"Halt!" She stopped them. "Are friends with that white haired kid over there?"

"Yeah, what's it to ya?" Zach said.

"I just wanted to know...is it true he has a romantic relationship with the one they call Ronnie Anne?"

"Well, I'm not sure about that." Rusty said. "But I think he likes her. I mean like likes her."

"I thought she liked liked him." Liam said

"Interesting." Lena said and walks away. She goes to her locker. "I'll have to track down this female, for I have a plan."

* * *

The next day at her father's restaurant, Lena was enjoying her sundae while scheming. Her father had just opened up the restaurant.

"Hey sweetie, how's the ice cream?" Her father Bruce asked.

"It's delectable as usual Daddy. And this time you didn't add the cherry on top."

Just then, Bobby and Ronnie Anne entered the restaurant.

"Bobby, this place looks pretty cool." Ronnie Anne said as she looked around. "I hope the desserts are good too."

"You bet they are, Ronnie Anne. They've got every ice cream flavor you could imagine."

Lena paid attention to the two siblings as she heard Ronnie Anne's name. "Ronnie Anne? She's here?"

The two siblings walked up to the counter where they looked at a menu. Lena sneaked behind Ronnie Anne and took out a scanning device. She used it to scan Ronnie Anne, gathering information about her. Then she went back to her seat.

"Good thing I invented this baby." Lena pressed a button on the device and a holographic screen was shown. Lena read the info about Ronnie Anne. "Let's see here...Ronnie Anne, the toughest girl in school. Likes pranks, video games, punching Lincoln, etc."

She turns the screen off. "Alright, now that I've found out Ronnie Anne's interests, it's time to move onto the next part of my plan."

Ronnie Anne and Bobby ordered one sundae they could share and sat at a table.

"Go ahead sis, give it a taste." Bobby assured.

Ronnie Anne tastes the ice cream. "Mmm. It tastes like abuelita's churro apple pies!"

"Told ya."

Then Lena walked over to their table. "Excuse me ma'am, would you be interested in entering a video game tournament at Gus Games n Grub? It's a once in a month event." She showed Ronnie Anne a poster.

"Video game tournament?" Ronnie Anne replied. "That sounds awesome, but don't you need a pass for that?"

"I've got two passes right here." Lena held out two passes. "One for you and one for a partner. Here, take these ones."

"Wow. Really?"

Lena nodded.

"Well, thanks."

"Don't mention it. The tournament begins in thirty minutes. I suggest you take a friend or a family member with you. Probably the latter."

"Oooh, pick me sis!" Bobby said excitedly. "You know we make a pretty good team."

"Sure, why not? You've been improving with your button mashing. Let's go!"

The siblings start to leave but then they come back.

"We'll go after we finish our sundae." Ronnie Anne said.

"Right." Bobby agreed. The two had forgotten that they had plans to hang out with Lincoln and Lori. Lena walked away and quietly did an evil laugh.

* * *

Back at her house, Lena got to work with the next part of her plan. She got out a robotic vehicle with artificial skin. "I knew my robot vehicles would come in handy. If my reasonings are correct, as Lincoln's so called girlfriend I'll be able to get inside the Loud house and obtain blueprints on Lisa's greatest invention. Then I'll copy the invention and destroy Lisa once and for all. But first, my robot needs some adjustments."

* * *

At the Loud house, Lincoln heard the doorbell ring.

"That must be Ronnie Anne." Lincoln went to answer the door. When he opened it, he was stunned at what he saw. It was "Ronnie Anne", (Lena in disguise) who looked different. She was wearing a midriff, long sweatpants, sandals, and hair fully let down.

"Hey Lincoln." She greeted.

Lincoln blushed. "Buh...buh...buh...buh-"

"So can I come in or what?"

"Buh...buh...buh…"

Becoming impatient, Lena snapped her fingers at him. "Hello?"

Lincoln snapped out of it. "Oh, uh, s-sorry Ronnie Anne, you just look really nice. Come inside."

"Ronnie Anne" enters the house. Then Lincoln's sisters notice her and rush over. They all greet Ronnie Anne.

"Ronnie Anne, you look really nice in that outfit." Leni complimented. "And I like what you did with your hair."

"Yeah, thanks."

"Hey, did Bobby set you on a date with my brother?" Lori asked.

"Are you guys even dating?" Luna asked.

"Where are you two gonna hang?" Lynn asked.

The sisters asked lots of questions. Lena got irritated. Lincoln intervened.

"Guys, guys! Enough already! Can't me and Ronnie Anne hang out without you guys pestering us?"

"Yeah, what he said." "Ronnie Anne" said.

"Oh, you two want alone time. How romantic." Lola teased. Then the sisters giggled as they left.

"Now Lincoln, do you mind if I stay here all day?"

"No. Not at all." Then Lincoln gets a call on his walkie talkie. He takes it out.

"Lincoln? Are you there?" It was Clyde.

"Hey Clyde, what's up?"

"Are you free to hang out later today?"

"Sorry Clyde, no can do. Ronnie Anne wants to out at my place all day."

"All day? Oh, I get it. You want alone time with your special lady."

"Clyde, it's not like that."

"It's ok Lincoln. I think I know what's going on. Tell me about your special day with your special lady later today."

He hung up. He looked at "Ronnie Anne" awkwardly. "So...want to play some video games?"

* * *

An hour later, Clyde goes to Gus' Games n Grub. When he heads inside, he sees something off: Ronnie Anne playing in the arcade. She and Bobby were competing with two other contestants with a crowd gathered around them watching.

"Ronnie Anne? I thought she was hanging out with Lincoln."

Back at the Loud house, Lincoln and "Ronnie Anne" were playing a video game: Mega Brawlers Turbo Fighter. Lena wasn't into this kind of stuff, but she was starting to get the hang of it.

"I'm gonna destroy you this time!" "Ronnie Anne" said.

"Are you sure?" Lincoln retorted. "I mean you usually kick my butt at this game, but I've been beating you in these past rounds. It's like you're letting me win."

"Letting you win?" "Ronnie Anne" laughed hard. "You're so funny, Linky Winky!"

Lincoln was surprised by that nickname. Even Clyde flinched when he heard it over his walkie talkie.

"Linky Winky?" Lincoln said to himself. He was so stunned by the nickname that "Ronnie Anne" beat his fighting character and won the round.

She cheered. "I whooped you maximus gluteus!"

Lincoln gave her a look.

"I mean, I whooped your butt!"

Then Lisa walked downstairs and Lena saw her.

"Don't mind me." Lisa said. "I'm just going to the basement."

This is my chance to get those blueprints! Lena thought.

"Uh, I'm have to go pee." She told Lincoln and dashed off. She ran upstairs into Lisa's room and began to rapidly search for the blueprints. But Lisa comes back from the basement sooner than expected and catches "Ronnie Anne" in her lab.

"Ahem." She got Lena's attention. Lena tried to come up with an explanation.

"Wait, don't tell me." Lisa said. "You've come here to volunteer for one of my experiments."

"I...Yeah, that's exactly why I'm here." Lena replied.

"Oh, I have one experiment in mind." Lisa said. Then Lena was strapped to the machine Lily was once strapped to. (from the episode-Changing the Baby)

"Fear not Ronalda." Lisa assured. "Once this test is completed, I shall let you have a sucker of your selection."

"Oh boy..." Lena said worried.

As Lisa throws the switch, there's an ear shattering, bloodcurdling scream mixed with the sound of buzzing electrical voltage. It could be heard from outside of the house. Lena looks a bit cooked, but her robot transport is more damaged. Just about every system is malfunctioning. Lisa's machine has reduced it to a pitiful state where it can only crawl desperately on the floor.

"Perhaps I used a little too much powder." Lisa said. "Better put up warnings for future references."

Lincoln and the other sisters heard the scream and ran to Lisa's room to check what was going on. What they see horrifies them to the core. Lincoln grabbed Lisa by the collar and held her up.

"WHAT DID YOU DO, YOU MONSTER?!!"

"I-i-i-i-it's not my fault! She volunteered for the experiment!"

Then Lena comes up with the perfect improvised scheme.

"Linky Winky, hold me!" She spreads her arms out to Lincoln. Everyone gathers around and tears start to form. Lincoln strains as he wraps his arms around the robot.

"No offense Ronnie Anne, but you're...heavier than you look."

"Hey!"

Lincoln winced. "I said no offense!"

Lena uttered a fake cough. "It's alright, Linky Winky. I guess you...let yourself go when you start...going."

Luan tried hard not to laugh at the pun, especially when everyone was in such a tragic scene.

Lori sniffs. "How am I going to explain this to Bobby?"

Lena has a "final request". She looks at Lisa.

"Lisa, I have a final request. Can I-(cough) can I see whatever cool new gadget thingy you're working on?"

"I don't see why not since you won't have enough time to tell anyone before you...Well, I'll go get the blueprints." Lisa goes to a cabinet.

"I have a request too." Lincoln said. "I want one final kiss from you, Ronnie Anne."

The sisters gasp. Lena is clearly disgusted.

"Yeah, I don't think so." She protested. Then a familiar voice is heard downstairs.

"Hey lame o, where are you?!"

Thinking quickly, Lena uses her right robotic arm to drag Lincoln down to her direction, letting his lips meet those of her mask. The sisters gasp again, and there's another one at the doorway. The real Ronnie Anne is here. Everyone sees her.

"Ronnie Anne, I didn't know you had a twin sister." Leni said.

"What the heck is going on here?" Ronnie Anne questioned as she was confused. In the midst of the confusion, Lena spots the blueprints in Lisa's hands. She smiles malevolently, then looks to the real Ronnie Anne.

"He's all yours, Sappiago!" Jetpack attached, she ejects from the robot, rushes towards Lisa and snatches the blueprints.

"Runaway head!" Leni screamed.

Lena tears off her mask. "Good thing I was wearing this, or that would've been REALLY gross."

But just as Lena is about to zoom out of the house and declare she's home free, she suddenly remembers that her jetpack is low on battery. That's when it runs out.

"I knew I shoulda had this thing recharged…"

She plummets down. "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!"

Ronnie Anne manages to catch her as she gets outside and gives her a glare. Lena chuckles nervously. She runs off, going back to her liar. Ronnie Anne goes to confront Lincoln.

"Ok Lincoln, I want an explanation. Clyde told me you were hanging out with another girl when I was at a video game tournament."

"Wait, you went to a video game tournament without me?" Lincoln questioned.

"That's not the issue right now. What exactly was going on here?"

Lincoln's sisters came over.

"Don't be mad at Lincoln." Lori butted in, defending her brother. "It was Lena."

"Yeah, she duped us." Lana said.

"Indeed." Lisa said. "She disguised herself as you so she could steal my blueprints for my greatest invention."

"We had no idea she'd go so far as to prey on Lincoln's feelings for you." Lola said.

"And that mask she wore was pretty convincing." Leni admitted.

"Ok, tell me more about this Lena girl." Ronnie Anne demanded.

After ten minutes of explanations, Ronnie Anne now understands.

"Wow. I'm glad you guys told me all this." Ronnie Anne said.

"Well, now that everything's explained, I'm gonna go now." Lori said. "Bobby just texted me and says he wants to hang out. Apparently, he and Clyde won a video game tournament."

Lori left.

"Guys, If you don't mind, can I have some alone time with your brother?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"Sure thing dude." Luna said. The other sisters agreed and went back inside the house.

"So lame o, I wanted to give you something special." Ronnie Anne said..

"What is it?"

Ronnie Anne then grabbed Lincoln by the collar and kissed him...right on the lips! He blushed but was satisfied. Neither of them were aware that Lori had witnessed the kiss. She smiled at the romantic scene.


	62. Chapter 62: The Gift Of Honey

**And now here's a parody of the episode: The Gift Of Gum**

* * *

"Happy Twins Day, Lana!"

"Happy Twins Day, Lola!"

The Loud twins were in their room, excited for their traditional holiday.

"Let's present the presents." Lana said.

"You show me yours first." Lola said.

"Sure, why not? Come on, it's in the garage."

The twins head into the garage. Lana gestures to the gift and Lola sees something big.

"Whoa." Lola said amazed. The gift was a giant ball of honey with stuff stuck to it.

"This super sticky honey is my most beloved possession and I'm giving it to my favorite twin on Twins Day."

Lola looked touched. "Lana, I'm honored and-"

Lola began crying.

"Lola, what's wrong?"

"You got me such an amazing gift and all I got you was...that." Lola pointed to a robot drone that flew into the garage.

"Greetings." The robot drone said to Lana as it was voice activated. "I am RoboDrone 2.1, your personal robot drone servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 human comforts. Would you care for a chocolate bar?"

The robot drone fired a chocolate bar into Lana's mouth and she ate it.

"Yummy! Lola, this is a great gift!"

"Thanks for the appreciation Lana, but it's no giant ol used ball of honey. And plus, this is just Lisa's spare robot drone."

"Don't be so hard on yourself Lola. I love my gift. In fact, I'll go play with it right now. Come on Robo Drone, let's play outside."

"Coming, Master Lana." The robo drone followed Lana. Then Lana went back to Lola.

"Oh Lola, you don't mind if I say goodbye to Sappy first, do you?"

"No, not at all."

"Thanks." Lana went up to the giant ball of honey. "Goodbye Sappy, you be good to Lola now, ya hear?"

She poked it and a stream of liquid came out, pouring onto Lana. She laughed and hugged the sticky ball.

"I love you too Sappy." The honey stuck onto Lana, but she managed to get free. She turned to her twin. "Well, he's all yours."

The tomboy left with the robot drone. Lola went up to the honey ball to admire it.

"Oh, it's so big, majestic, and beautiful. With your...dirty sock, tuna can, flies, moldy burger." Lola realized how gross the sticky ball of honey was. She sniffed it and looked like she was gonna barf. She backed away.

"Get a hold of yourself, Lola. It's not so bad. After all, it's a gift from Lana."

Then a rat came out from the big ball of honey and crawled onto Lola, who was freaked out. It hissed at her. (Translation: You're not Lana) She freaked out even more and ran out of the garage.

"Ew, Eww, Eww! I'm sorry sis, but your gift has got to go!"

* * *

Lola is pushing the big ball of honey out of the garage. She lifts it into the trash can. "Goodbye stinkball, see ya never!"

The garbage man drove over to the Loud house.

"Hey Mr. Garbage Man, I've got this ball of trash that wants a new home at the dump." Lola was hoping the garbage collector would take it. He noticed how big it was.

"Sorry little lady, I don't have enough room in my truck for that." He drove off.

"No wait! Come back!"

Then Lana and Robo Drone came back to the house, as the drone was carrying Lana with its built in arms.

"Hey Lola, watcha doing?" Lana asked.

"It appears she's throwing Sappy away." The robot drone confirmed.

"What? Lola, is that true?"

"No way Lana."

"Then how do you explain this?"

"Well...I liked Sappy so much that I decided to give him a princess makeover." She put the trash lid on top of Sappy, which also had a flower on it. "See? Isn't that a cute look?"

Lola looked suspicious. "Hmm...bold yet understated. I never thought you would do a princess makeover with a trash can, but it's a brilliant idea sis. Keep up the good work. Come on Robo Drone, let's go find more boogers."

Lana and Robo Drone walked off, leaving Lola with Sappy.

* * *

In the backyard, Sappy was now on one end of a teeter totter. The other end was sticking up in the air due to how heavy Sappy was, obviously. There was also a ramp and Lola in her princess car. Lola was planning on launching Sappy far away.

"Ok, there's no sign of Lana." Lola said. "Better make this quick."

Lola started her engine and drove towards the ramp. "I hope you like heights, Sappy!"

She drove up the ramp. Lana and Robo Drone came out through the back door of the house. They saw Lola.

"Lola!"

Lola heard Lana. She fell down through the end of the teeter totter, breaking part of it and crashed on the ground with her car.

"This was a bad idea…" She groaned.

"Lana, what were you doing?" Lana rushed over.

"I-I-I-" Lola stuttered.

"I'm waiting."

"I...was trying to launch Sappy into that tree so...I could get a better view of him."

"I see. But Sappy should be displayed properly and proudly. And I know just the place."

Sappy was pushed into Lola and Lana's room, thanks to Robo Drone and his incredible strength.

"Good work, Robo Drone." Lana said. "Now Lola can admire Sappy more in here. Ok Lola, I gotta go. I'm gonna learn how to fix a toaster, right Robo Drone?"

"It would be my pleasure, Master Lana." The robot drone followed Lana as they left the room. Sappy coughed and sock fell on Lola's face.

"Thanks." Lola said sarcastically.

* * *

Lincoln came into the room and noticed the ball of honey. "What the heck is that?"

"It's a stinkin ball of honey." Lola replied, as she was sitting on her bed, reading a book. "It was a gift from Lana because today is Twins Day."

Lincoln got a closer look at it. "Well, it sure is a...unique gift."

"It's hideous! What am I going to do?"

"I'm not sure Lana. You'd be lucky if there was a burglar around to steal it."

"Yeah, but what burglar would wanna steal that thing?"

Lola then got an idea. "Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"You're going to steal the gum yourself?"

"Exactly. But don't tell Lana about this."

Lincoln pretended to zip his lips.

* * *

Later that night, Lola put on a ski mask to look like a robber. She then made sure Lana was asleep. And she was. Lola pushed Sappy to the doorway. He got stuck, so Lola took a few steps back and charged. She managed to get the ball of honey out and roll it downstairs. When she tried to get it out the front door, she got stuck in the honey as it did get through the doorway. The sap seemed to have gotten stronger as the pageant girl struggled to get free. She pulled as hard as she could. Sappy's sap was stretching as Lola got onto the street. Then she was flung back. She screamed and landed on Sappy.

* * *

The next day, Lynn got up first and went to the window. She was surprised when she saw all the honey spread out on the front yard. The honey looked less gross now. "What the-"

She came outside, noticing the honey was spread on the house too.

"What's going on? What happened out here?"

"Lynn, up here!" Lola was hanging above Lynn as she was stuck to the sap. Lynn was surprised.

"Lola?"

"Hi Lynn. Looks like I got myself into a sticky situation." Lola chuckled weakly at the joke.

"Oh my gosh! How long have you been stuck up there Lola?"

"Pretty much all night."

"Well, your big sis knows how to get you down."

"Wait Lynn, the more you touch it, the angrier it gets."

"Oh, that's crazy talk."

Lynn tried to karate chop the honey, but her hand got stuck to it. The honey growled at her.

"Told ya." Lola said. "Save yourself Lynn. Run away before you end up like me!"

"Oh come on now, there's gotta be another way."

Then Lori came outside when she heard the commotion. And she was surprised when she saw all the honey. "What is literally going on out here? What is all this stuff?"

"It's honey." Lola said. "Really sticky honey."

"You gotta help us Lori!" Lynn said.

"Hmm…" Lori noticed Vanilla was covered in the sap as well. "I think I've got an idea."

She made a rope out of honey and tossed it on the back of Vanzilla. Then she got inside of Vanzilla.

"Hang on tight, Lola!"

"Yeah, ok."

Lori started to drive Vanzilla. It was going a little slow due to the honey being stuck to it, but it managed to get far enough from the house. Then the van was stuck.

"Come on ol girl!" Lori commanded. "Don't talk back to me! Do as you're told! Do it! Do it! Do it!"

Vanzilla was kicking up a lot of dust. Lola and Lynn watched in suspense, as they hoped Lori's idea would work. But then the back of Vanzilla tore off, sending it flying back towards Lynn and Lola. They screamed and they got hit, causing more honey to spread onto more of the neighborhood. Mr. Grouse looked outside.

"What in tarnation? Just let it go, Grouse. Let it go. Don't get involved."

The honey caused Mr. Grouse's house to lean sideways and the old man fell out through his window, landing on the sap. "Of course."

"I'm ok." Lynn said as she was hanging upside down. Lola sighed. The rest of the Loud family, except for Lana, came outside and saw the big mess outside.

"What happened out here?!" Rita asked.

"Do we even want to know?" Lynn Sr. questioned.

Lily tasted a bit of the honey. "Honey!"

Then the honey trapped the others.

"Oh, hey guys." Lola said nervously.

"Looks like we've got ourselves in a sticky situation." Luan punned.

"I already made that pun." Lola said flatly.

"Dang it."

"Lola, how did this happen?" Lincoln said.

"I was trying to get rid of Lana's honey and-"

"You were getting rid of Sappy?" Lana was now outside with Robo Drone.

"Would you care for a back rub, master?" The robot drone attempted to give Lana a back rub. Lana smacked its hand away.

"Enough already. Sheesh." Lana turned her attention back to her twin sister. "So you were getting rid of Sappy?"

"Lana, I can explain-"

"You turn him into a honey wonderland and now you want him gone?"

The robot drone started to cool down Lana with a fan.

"Will you stop? Just stop!"

Robo Drone put the fan away.

"Get on with it Loud!" Mr. Grouse snapped.

"Wrap it up." Lynn said.

"Geez, everyone one, even Mr Grouse is having fun with my Sappy except me!" Lana pouted. "I mean, your Sappy."

"Lana, do you miss your Sappy?" Lola asked.

Lana looked at her sadly. "Uh huh."

"Well, you can have it back. I don't need it. Spending time with my favorite twin is the best gift I could ask for."

"Yay!" Lana cheered.

"But first, you gotta get us out of this."

"Oh, that's easy." Lana took off her hat and got out a whistle that was taped inside. "This bee whistle should come in handy."

"I didn't know those were a thing." Lisa said.

Lana blew on the whistle. "Now we wait."

Soon, a group of bees showed up. Lana waved at them. "Hey guys, I've got a sweet treat for you. All the honey you can eat."

When they saw the honey, they immediately began to devour all of it. They ate until the neighborhood was completely clear of honey and everyone was free from the honey.

"Good work guys." Lana thanked. They flew off. Lana still had a small amount of honey in a jar.

"Wow, that actually worked." Lisa said impressed.

"Told you it was easy." Lana said.

"Well, I'm glad you took care of that situation Lana." Rita said. "But where's Lori?"

"And where's Vanzilla?" Lynn Sr. wondered.

The front of Vanzilla had crashed into a tree and the van had fallen apart. Lori was a bit injured from the crash.

"I am literally gonna be grounded for this." Lori said as she attempted to fix Vanzilla. Her hands were covered in sap.

"Ugh, stupid sap!"

Then the bees had spotted Lori with honey on her hands. They flew towards her. She screamed and ran away as the bees chased after her.


	63. Chapter 63: Ace Savvy & One Eyed 5

**I'm back with another parody, based on Mermaidman** **and** **Barnacleboy 5**

* * *

 _The new adventures of Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack! At a familiar restaurant, in a familiar part of town, a call goes out in frustration._

"Will you hurry up?" One customer yelled.

 _A call that would normally be answered by Royal Woods' semi retired champions. If they weren't the ones causing the problem_.

The two elderly heroes are seen at the front of the line at Lynn's Table as Ace is having trouble deciding what to order.

"Let's see...I'll have a...no. I'll have a uh, uh,...no. Hmm.."

"Sir, will you please order something?" Lori said. "You're holding up the line."

Lori and the other Loud siblings were helping their dad in his restaurant. Lincoln got an idea.

"Psst! Ace Savvy, get a Lynn-sagna."

"I've made my decision!" Ace declared.

The crowd of customers cheered.

"One Lynn-sagna for me and a Mini Lynn-sagna for the boy!"

"Now wait just a darn minute." Jack complained.

The crowd groaned in annoyance.

"I don't want a mini Lynn-sagna. I want an adult sized Lynn-sagna."

"That Lynn-sagna is too big for you." Ace said. "You'll never finish it."

"Don't you see what you're doing? You're treating me like a child!"

"The boy's eyes are bigger than his stomach." Lynn Sr. laughed, along with the sisters.

"And that's another thing! I'm not a boy! I'm so old I've got liver spots on my liver spots."

"One Mini Lynn-sagna." Lori held out a small dish. "And your bib and high chair."

The Louds laughed, except for Lincoln.

"I'm sixty eight years old and I want a regular Lynn-sagna!"

"Your mini is getting cold." Ace Savvy said. "Shall I feed you?"

"Feed this, old man!" One Eyed Jack slapped the dish out of Ace's hand.

"Ooooooooooh." The Louds said.

"I'm fed up with being your sidekick." Jack ranted. "From now on, I wanna be treated like a man! And I'm through with protecting citizens that don't respect me!"

"I respect you, man." Lincoln said.

"I'm a boy! I mean..a man, I-oh, forget you people."

Jack glared at Ace. "I say if you're not going to give me respect as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is...evil!"

"Evil?!" The Louds exclaimed. Ace just stood there smiling. Lynn Sr. slapped him.

"Evil!" Ace exclaimed.

"I'm crossing over to the dark side!" Jack pointed to a dark part of the restaurant.

"Whoops. Looks like I forgot to pay for lighting the whole store." Lynn Sr. said.

Then an evil looking van drove out of the dark side. The license plate read "Royal Woods-Mean 2 U." The door opened to reveal two familiar villains, Talkin' Trash Eater and Miss Red Diamond.

"Did someone say evil?" TTE said.

"Oh my gosh!" Lincoln exclaimed. "It's Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack's arch enemies, Miss Red Diamond and the Talkin Trash Eater!"

One Eyed Jack entered the vehicle.

"Nighty night ya old goat." Jack said to Ace. The window closed and the vehicle drove off.

"Nighty night." Ace waved. He looked at Lori. "Will you tuck me in?"

Lori gave him a deadpan stare. Then the news reporter was seen and heard on TV.

"We interrupt your bleak and meaningless lives for this special news break. Red Diamond-"

Red Diamond is shown blowing up a house with her powers.

"Talkin' Trash Eater-"

The Trash Eater is shown polluting a public pool with his trash.

"and now playing for the dark side, the young boy, One Eyed Jack-"

"I'm a man!"

"-have been committing a series of crimes throughout Royal Woods!"

One Eyed Jack is now wearing a dark cape and a shirt with a skull on it. The trio is seen doing a prank. They sneak up on an old man who is about to sit down on a bench. Jack puts a whoopie cushion on the bench and the man sits on it, causing a fart sound. The trio laugh and ran away.

"I'll get you crazy kids!" The old man yelled, pointing his cane at them.

The news reporter continued. "These three have named their new alliance, Every Villian Is Licorice. Otherwise known as EVIL. What can we do? When will this crime wave end? How will we defeat the evil? Why am I asking you all these questions? Ace Savvy, where are you?"

Ace Savvy stood there with his mouth open. Lynn Sr. slapped him again.

"I'm right here! Don't worry good citizens! Nothing will stop me from defeating the evil! Nothing!"

The old hero runs outside. He stops as he sees an ice cream truck. "Ice cream? I love ice cream."

He goes over to the truck to order. "A double scoop of almond banana with prune sprinkles."

He was handed the ice cream but there was a lit candle on it, which Ace didn't seem to notice. He ate the ice cream. His face turned red and he breathed fire.

"Boy, the prunes are spicier than usual."

One Eyed Jack, Miss Red Diamond, and Talkin Trash Eater are the ones seen in the truck.

"You might as well give up, Ace Savvy." Jack said. "There's three of us and only one of you. You don't stand a chance."

The trio drive off. The Loud siblings witnessed this and ran over to the elderly superhero.

"Ace Savvy, are you ok?" Lincoln asked. "How are you going to defeat all three of those guys by yourself?"

"You're right. I give up."

"You can't give up. What if we help you?"

"No, that's a terrible idea. But what if you help me?"

"Ok!"

"So who wants to save the world?"

"We do!" The Louds said in unison.

"I mean, no world means no beauty pageants." Lola said.

"Ace, I've got the perfect idea for buttkicking superheroes." Lincoln said. "They're from an Ace Savvy comic I wrote."

"Then you tell me all about it on our way to my secret lair."

* * *

"So these female superheroes are based on your sisters?" Ace Savvy questioned.

"Yep." Lincoln said. "And we'll need superhero costumes for the job."

Ace Savvy and the Loud siblings were now in Ace Savvy's lair.

"Oh, leave that to the family fashion designer." Leni said, pointing to herself.

"Great Leni."

"Will these costumes involve colored undies on the outside?" Ace asked.

"Definitely not." Lori said.

After Leni finishes making the costumes, we cut to an introduction of the Full House Gang. (from the Pulp Friction episode)

 _The High Card: oldest super sibling_

 _The Eleven Of Hearts: superhero fashionista_

 _The Night Club: rockstar superhero_

 _The Joker: comedic superhero_

 _The Strong Suit: athletic superhero_

 _The Eight of Spades: spooky superhero_

 _The Royal Flush: tomboy super twin_

 _The Queen of Diamonds: girly super twin_

 _The Card Counter: genius superhero_

 _The Deuce: the youngest super sibling_

 _and lastly, Ace Savvy Jr: the younger Ace_

 _Together, they are the Full House Gang, dealing out justice!_

Now we cut to the superheroes sitting at a table. Ace Savvy Sr. is ordering lunch.

"So it's agreed. We'll get one cheese pizza, one with pepperoni and mushrooms, and one with olives."

Then a live action man appeared on the big screen. "Full House Gang, we need your help."

"Holy cowlick!" Ace Savvy Jr. exclaimed. "It's the chief!"

"Thanks for the introduction Ace Savvy Jr, but we all know who I am. More to the point, we've got news on the whereabouts of evil."

"The whos-a-bouts of what?" The Queen Of Hearts said.

"You just tell us where they are, chief." The Night Club said. "We'll send those punks off to jail faster than a police officer."

"Our sources last saw evil harassing teenagers at Make Out Point." The chief confirmed. "You know, Make Out Point."

The chief makes out with himself. "Woo hoo hoo!"

"Jumping Jacks, Ace Savvy!" Ace Savvy Jr. exclaimed. "Make Out Point!"

"Those fiends!" Ace Savvy Sr. said outraged. "Attacking hormonally stressed out children!"

"Ah, Make Out Point." The High Card said pleasantly. "I literally remember the first time my boyfriend took me there. Good times, good times."

"To Make Out Point!" Ace Savvy ordered. He fell backwards. "Away!"

"Wait, does this mean we're not getting pizza?" Lynn questioned.

* * *

At Make Out Point, the trio of villains were harassing two teens in a car, Joey and Becky.

"Leave us alone!" Becky whined.

"Please stop!" Joey begged.

"Joey and Becky sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"Ooh, shine the flashlight at that car Red Diamond." Talkin Trash Eater said, pointing at another direction.

"With pleasure!" Red Diamond shines her flashlight at another car. There was a boy making out with a pillow.

"Hey man, that's not cool."

The trio laughed.

"Leave those young lovers alone!" The trio turned around to see Ace Savvy.

"Well, if it isn't Old Man Savvy." Red Diamond mocked. "You've saved us the trouble of tracking you down."

"You fiends can't win. You're outnumbered."

"You white haired fool! There's three of us and only one of you."

Then Ace Savvy Jr. appeared. "Make that two!"

The villains were surprised.

"Guys, meet Ace Savvy Jr." Ace Savvy Sr. introduced.

The High Card came over. "Three!"

"Meet the High Card."

The Eleven Of Hearts swung over with her scarf. "Four!"

"Meet the Eleven Of Hearts."

The Night Club rode over on a motorcycle. "Five!"

"The Night Club."

A jack in the box appeared and The Joker jumped out. "Six!"

"The Joker."

Strong Suit ran over with her super speedy shoes. "Seven!"

"The Strong Suit."

The Eight Of Spades became visible, as her hooded cape had the ability to make her invisible and visible. "Eight."

"The Eight Of Spades."

The Royal Flush dug her way over from underground. "Nine!"

"The Royal Flush."

The Queen Of Diamonds cartwheeled over. "Ten!"

"The Queen Of Diamonds!"

Lastly, Card Counter flew over with a jetpack as she carried The Deuce in her arms. "Eleven and twelve."

"The Card Counter and The Deuce!" Ace Savvy finished. "And me makes twenty...I think."

"Uh oh." Red Diamond said worried.

"I don't feel good about this." Trash Eater said.

"Oh, there goes our toy deal." Jack said.

"Full House Gang, attack!" Ace Savvy commanded.

"Oh no! Please! Have mercy!" One Eyed Jack begged.

The Royal Flush opened up a cage with her wrench. Inside, there was cobra snake. "Go get em boy!"

But the cobra went for Strong Suit instead, biting her head. Strong Suit freaked out and ran around in a circle. "Aaaaah! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!"

"I'll save you Strong Suit!" The Queen Of Hearts said. She used her scarf to try and stop Strong Suit, but she ends up getting pulled in circles due to Strong Suit's super speed. She flies out of the grip and lands on the ground. Her outstretched scarf unravel back at her, tying her to the ground. The Joker pulls out a gag boxing glove. "Ok bad guys, here comes the punchline!" (laughs)

The Joker tried to use the boxing glove on them, but it didn't seem to be working. "Ugh, this thing must be broke-"

Pow!

The Joker was hit in the face by the glove, knocking her out. The villains looked at each other in confusion.

"Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!" Strong Suit ran over Ace Savvy Jr. and The High Card as the cobra was still on her.

"Time to perform the bad guy shuffle!" The Night Club had her guitar ready and a huge speaker was behind her. But Strong Suit ran into the speaker and was knocked out. Her super strength caused the speaker to fall forward and crush The Night Club before The Night Club could get out of the way. Royal Flush was able to capture the slithering cobra with a rope.

"Bad boy!" She scolded. "You're supposed to get the bad guys!"

"Forget the snake!" Queen Of Diamonds said. "Help me deal with these bad guys!"

"I'll assist too!" Ace Savvy said. He shot cards out of his hand to form the Raging WhirlCard tornado, but the twin superheroes got sucked into it. "Oops. I can't really control this thing at my old age."

The Deuce And Card Counter were about to attack with diaper bombs and a middle launcher but they also got swept into the tornado. The Night Of Spades hid behind a rock to avoid it.

"Well, I guess it's up to me." She turned invisible and walked off. "I'll just sneak over unseen and attack them by surprise."

Suddenly, she was hit by a car. She flew through a sign and fell off the cliff screaming, then landed on the ground. The WhirlCard tornado stopped and the four younger heroes fell to the ground. The three villains saw all the superheroes were defeated and Ace Savvy just fell backwards.

"We did it. We won." One Eyed Jack said. "This day belongs to evil!"

He laughs evilly as she approaches Ace Savvy. "You've lost Ace Savvy, and the Superhero Supervillian rulebook says that you have to give into my demands."

"Ok." Ace accepted. "What do you want?"

"World domination!" Red Diamond said. "Tell him we want world domination!"

"And make him eat mud!" Talkin Trash Eater said, which made Red Diamond give him a strange look.

"In addition to the domination thing..."

"Number one, I want to be treated like a superhero, not a sidekick. Number two, I wanna be called a man. And number three-"

"Come on, world domination." Red Diamond said.

"I want an adult sized Lynn-sagna."

"Did you hear say anything about eating mud?" Trash Eater said to Red Diamond.

"Need a hand, Superpal?" One Eyed Jack offered his hand to Ace Savvy, who smiled tearfully. Jack tearfully smiled back. Ace took his hand.

 **Friend!**

Jack helped his old friend up.

"Good to have you back on the side of justice, Kyle! Now let's go get you that Lynn-sagna."

The two elderly heroes walk away. Red Diamond was unmoved by the touching scene.

"Was that it? That was sickening."

"Oh, this reminds me of the time I went to Sewerland." Trash Eater mentioned. "Their toilet drinks were to die for!"

"Oh, good grief. Shut up."

* * *

At Lynn's Table, Ace Savvy and Jack were sitting at a table. Jack was eating his meal.

"How's that adult sized Lynn-sagna treating you, man?"

"Actually, it's pretty big. I don't think I can finish it."

Ace started laughing. Jack glared at him but began laughing as well. Then the Loud siblings came over laughing as they were injured and covered in casts and bandages. Luna was in a wheelchair and Lucy had crutches. The teen seen at Make Out Point with his pillow was laughing. Red Diamond and Talkin Trash Eater were laughing, even though they were in jail. The chief was seen making out with himself again. He turned around and laughed too.


	64. Chapter 64: Rock a Bye Bunny

**Here's a parody of the episode: Rock-a-Bye Bivalve**

* * *

It's Sunday morning. The newspaper is tossed onto the Loud house lawn. Leni comes out in her robe and collects the paper. As she heads back to the house, she feels something hugging her leg.

"Huh?"

She looks down and sees a light brown baby bunny. "Aww, aren't you adorable."

Inside, Luan is also in her robe, making coffee in the kitchen. She drinks some coffee and she instantly perks up from her drowsiness.

"Wow. That's some strong coffee."

Leni comes back with the bunny. "Hey Luan, look what I found."

Luan gasped as she saw the cute creature. "A baby bunny!"

"And it's totally helpless. I just found him outside our house. He was all alone with nobody to take care of him."

"Well, it's a good thing you took him inside."

"Now he needs something to sleep in." Leni thought. "A shoebox."

Leni got out a shoebox from the closet. She sets it on the living room table and puts the bunny in it.

"Shoe la la." Luan said. "He fits perfectly in there."

Luan takes the box and sticks her head closer to get a closer look at the bunny. "Aw, he's cute."

Chomp!

"Uh oh." Luan lifts her head up and the young bunny is seen biting her face. "I think somebody's hungry."

Leni takes the bunny. "Is it true? Are you hungry?"

She sets him on the table. "I've got just the thing. How would you like a Burpin burger?"

She holds one out in front of him, but he disliked it.

"Leni Loud, are you crazy?" Luan scolded. "That's not the right kind of food for a little fella like him."

"Of course. I don't know what I was thinking. What he needs is a tiny Burpin burger."

She holds one out but he hated that too. "Huh? Nobody's ever turned down one of these babies before."

She eats it.

"A piece of pie?" Luan suggested. The bunny shook his head.

"A smoothie?" Leni suggested. The bunny shook his head.

"Wait, duh!" Luan slapped her forehead. "Carrots! Rabbits love carrots."

"I've got one." Leni got one out. The bunny happily ate it. "Well, he should be good for the rest of the-"

The bunny started crying.

"What now?" Luan said.

"I don't know!" Leni said worried. The bunny cried louder.

"Aw, don't cry. Uh…"

"Let's cheer him up." Luan suggested. Luan started juggling balls. Leni made funny faces.

"Look at the funny face! Look at the funny face!" It's revealed that Leni is using a puppet version of herself that can make faces. Leni panicked. "Look at the funny face!"

"Wait, I think I know the problem." Luan lifted up the bunny and inspected him. "Yep. That's it alright."

She turned around with the bunny. "Hold on just one second."

Luan got to work and then turned back to Leni. "Here he is. Good as new."

The bunny was now wearing a diaper.

"How did you know?" Leni asked, holding the rabbit.

"How do you think? We've been doing it for Lily ever since she was born."

"Wow. I'm sure glad you were here to help."

"Yeah, I know. Good thing there's two of us."

"You know Luan, since this bunny doesn't have parents, we should totes raise it ourselves."

"Yeah, at least til it's old enough to be on its own."

"Well, I'll be the mom because I'm the most motherly." Leni said.

"And I've got the old man's sense of humor." Luan said. "So just call me Hop Pop! Or Daddy."

* * *

We get a montage of Luan and Leni acting like parents to the baby bunny. Luan is wearing a fedora and bow tie while Leni has a sun hat and a fancy dress. The two teens are taking their baby out for a walk as Leni pushes him in a stroller. They walk past Flip and Mrs. Johnson, who are confused about the logic of two teens having a bunny as a child. Luan and Leni play with their bunny at the park, including doing the bunny hop. They get ice cream from an ice cream truck and order one with carrots for the rabbit. Then they ride on a bike with the rabbit, but the rabbit ends up riding by himself without pedaling. Leni and Luan chase after him as he goes down the road.

* * *

It's nighttime now. Leni and Luan are watching the bunny sleep in Leni's shoebox. They're both in Leni and Lori's room.

"It sure is cute when it's asleep." Luan commented.

"Yeah." Leni agreed.

Lori comes in. "You guys still have that bunny?"

"Shh!" Leni shushed her. "I just put him to sleep."

Leni and Luan got into Leni's bed.

"Hey Leni."

"Yeah Luan?"

"I never thought that being a parent could be this much fun."

"Me neither."

Lori rolls her eyes and goes to bed.

"Goodnight Leni."

"Goodnight Luan."

* * *

The next morning, the Loud kids were in the dining room having breakfast, with the bunny sitting in a high chair. Lana was petting him.

"He's so cute and fluffy."

"He's cuter than Hops." Lola commented.

"Nah, Hops is still the cutest animal in this family." Lana petted Hops.

"Leni, it's nice of you and Luan to look after this bunny." Lincoln said.

Leni is seen dusting with one hand, ironing with another hand, and vacuuming with her foot. "Well, somebody needed to care of him. And me and Luan would make great parents for Cinnamon." (the bunny's name)

Then Luan came in, wearing a business outfit. "Alright, pancakes! All this parenting stuff is making me hungry!"

Luan scarfs down her pancakes. She goes over to the baby bunny. "Hey Cinnamon, how ya doing?"

She pats him and then smells him. "Leni?"

"Yes Luan?"

"Kid's got a stinky."

"Could you take care of him? My hands are kinda full."

Luan drinks her orange juice as Cinnamon cries. "Wish I could, but I gotta go."

"Go? Where are you going?"

"I'm going to work. I'm the dad. Remember?" Luan went to the front door. She put on her work hat.

"You mean I have to do all this baby stuff myself?"

"I'll give you a break when you get home. Don't you two stop being adorable."

Luan left. Leni chuckles weakly.

"Leni, we can help take care of Cinnamon." Lori said.

"No, he's my and Luan's responsibility."

"But Leni, are you sure-"

"It's ok. Really. I'm sure Luan will help me out when she comes back home. I hope."

* * *

Later that night, Luan came back from work. "Phew! What a day."

She threw off her hat and briefcase. Leni was seen doing the same chores she was doing in the morning. She was holding Cinnamon, who was crying, in a baby wrap and was now tired.

"Oh good, you're back. Now you can help me with the baby."

"Oh, I'd love too Leni, but I'm totally beat from work."

"Huh?"

Luan sat down on the living room couch to watch tv. She laughs. "That guy got hit in the head with a coconut!"

"Luan, what about my break?" Leni said.

"Oh yeah, your break. Tomorrow. I promise."

"Uh, ok. Tomorrow."

 **Tomorrow**

Luan came back home from "work." "Phew! Another tough day."

She threw off her hat and briefcase.

"Oh Luan, I'm so glad you're home after working all day." Leni said, exhausted as she was doing her chores and watching Cinnamon. "I can't wait for my break."

"Work was a killer. I need to sit down."

Luan sat down on the couch.

"Luan, I really need-"

"Tomorrow for sure."

 **Tomorrow for sure**

"Luan…" Leni said, very tired.

"I'll get to it eventually."

 **Eventually**

"Uhhh…" Leni said desperately.

"Uhhh…" Luan replied.

 **Uggh…**

Luan was watching tv after work again. Leni walked over, glaring at her sister.

"Luan Loud, we need to talk."

"Just one more minute. I-"

"Don't one more minute me, Mrs. Loud!" Leni turned the tv off.

"Hey, I'm missing the coconut."

"You haven't been helping at all with Cinnamon. We made a commitment and you're not doing your share. You never do anything."

"I changed his diaper."

"Yeah, once."

"He's smaller than Lily. How many diapers could he possibly use?"

Leni showed her all the diapers in the trash can.

"Oh, that's not so much."

Leni showed more diapers in the closet.

"So?"

Leni showed more in the fridge, the bathroom, in the walls, and outside on the front lawn where a garbage man was collecting them. Luan was shocked. Then she felt guilty.

"I had no idea." She cried. "What kind of a father am I?! I'll make it up to you sis. I promise."

* * *

The next day, Luan is getting ready for work while Leni is chatting with her parents.

"So Luan is really gonna help you take of Cinnamon this time?" Rita asked.

"Yep." Leni replied. "She made a promise."

Luan came downstairs in her work suit. "I'm heading to work now."

"So what's the plan for today?" Leni asked her.

"No more fooling around. From now on I'm Super dad."

"That's what Lincoln used to call me." Lynn Sr. said.

"I'll work straight through lunch so I can get home on time. So make sure you leave a big ol stinky diaper for me to change and you can take the night off sis."

Leni gave Luan her briefcase. The two shook hands. "Great. So I'll see you at six o clock."

"Six o'clock." Luan said as she left the house.

"Six o'clock." Leni repeated.

"Six o'clock."

"Six o'clock."

"Six o'clock."

Six o clock."

Six o clock."

"Twenty bucks says that Luan will show up late." Rita said to Lynn Sr.

"Thirty bucks if she shows up wearing a lampshade on her head." Lynn Sr. said.

"You're on."

 **12:00 midnight**

Just as the parents predicted, Luan did show up late and was wearing a lampshade on her head. She giggled as she comes inside. "Man, that was some party."

Leni is seen next to Luan, looking annoyed. She's in her nightgown and has hair curlers on. She's also holding Cinnamon in her arms. Luan took her lampshade off.

"Oh, hey Leni."

Leni didn't respond. She stared angrily at her little sister.

"What?" Luan said. Leni kept staring. "What?"

"Oh, nothing." Leni replied bitterly.

"Oh what a relief. For a second there, I thought you were mad at me." Luan put the lampshade on Leni. Leni took it off.

"Do you remember what you said to me this morning?"

"Something about apple pie?"

Leni sighs. "No."

"Wait, wait! Let me guess...I give up."

"Does-" Leni does a mocking impression of Luan with a goofy face. -"you can take the night off sis-" She speaks in her normal voice. -"ring a bell?"

"Pfft! I don't need this." Luan went back outside.

"What?! Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going back to work!" Luan said and went into the garage.

"Work?!" Leni growls and puts Cinnamon back in his crib. Then follows Luan into the garage to see Luan watching a video on her laptop, and sitting on a comfy beanbag.

"That guy got hit in the head with two coconuts!" Luan laughed.

"So this is work?" Leni asked angrily.

"You know, it's not as easy as it looks." Luan explained. "Sometimes I have to wait for my laptop to load. Sometimes I have to find the right video, and sometimes my butt itches real bad."

"Aw, you poor poor thing." Leni said sarcastically. "Anyway, you forgot your briefcase!"

Leni opened the briefcase to reveal donuts and ice cream. She dumps it the desserts all over Luan. Luan narrowed her eyes and glared at Leni.

"Oh, so this is the thanks I get for working overtime?"

Leni was enraged as she had a vein popping onto her forehead. "OVERTIME?!"

Then the two sisters argued intensely.

"Yeah, overtime sister!" Luan yelled.

"Oh yeah, you're working alright!" Leni yelled back.

"You know what that means?" Luan argued angrily.

"And that's the kind of work you're doing?" Leni argued angrily.

"It means working when you're just too tired to work!" Luan snapped.

"Show me where I can sign up for this, cause I've been working my fingers to the bone!" Leni snapped.

"Guys? Guys?" Lori was by the garage door trying to get her younger sisters attention, but they were still arguing.

"GUYS!!"

"What?!" Leni and Luan snapped.

"Cinnamon's gone missing!"

"What?!" Luan and Leni got worried.

"Yeah, the front door was left open and he must've escaped!"

Luan glared at Leni. "Nice going Leni."

"Come on, let's go find him!" Leni said.

They run outside to look for him. "Cinnamon! Cinnamon!"

They hear a sound coming from the tree in their front yard and look up.

"Oh look, it's a bird." Leni said.

"That's not a bird." Luan said. "That's Just Cinnamon about to jump off that tree."

"Oh."

Then they panicked. "CINNAMON!"

The bunny jumped from the tree. The sisters attempted to catch him but bumped into each other.

"Did you catch him?" Leni asked.

"No." Luan sadly replied.

"...We're bad parents!" Both girls cried.

"Guys, look!" Lori pointed to Cinnamon, who was on the front porch.

Leni and Luan looked. "Cinnamon!"

"He's ok!" Leni said relieved. He bounced over to the two girls.

"And he can hop real good!" Luan said. "I guess he's all grown up."

Cinnamon kisses Leni on the cheek before hopping off.

"Hey, what about Daddy?" Luan said. A coconut was thrown at her. Then he came back to kiss Luan on the cheek. "That's my boy."

Cinnamon hopped off.

"Goodbye!" Leni waves.

"Goodbye Cinnamon!" Luan waves. "We'll make sure to send you some HARE-mail."

"Well Luan, he doesn't need us anymore." Leni said.

"This is the hardest part of every parent's life, I assume."

"Despite all we've been through, it was worth it."

"Yeah…Let's have another."

Leni looked shocked.


	65. Chapter 65: Lynn's Chaperone

**Here's a parody of the episode: The Chaperone.**

 **Requested by DarthWill3, who I'd like to give credit for the idea and the song suggestion**

* * *

The story starts at the Loud House. Lincoln is playing a racing video game in the living room.

"RAAAAAAAAAWWWR!"

He gets startled by a furious Lynn, causing him to crash his car and lose the game. Lynn stomps her way to the kitchen. Lincoln hears smashing sounds as Lynn is throwing a tantrum. The rest of the family hear Lynn's hissy fit as well.

"Lynn, please! Calm down!" Her father begged. Then he ran out of the kitchen as a spatula was thrown at him.

"Dad, what's wrong with Lynn?" Lincoln asked.

"Her prom date stood her up and now she can't seem to find another one."

Lynn came out of the kitchen. "Francisco asked some other girl to our middle school dance. There's only one guy who's as strong and handsome as he is! And that's him!"

Lynn punches a hole through the table.

"Easy there, girl." Lynn Sr. said. "I could take you out."

"Thanks dad, but one Lynn is enough. And I don't need anyone calling me a daddy's girl behind my back."

"What about Hops?" Lana suggested, holding up her frog. "One little kiss, and you'll get a magic prince!"

Hops utters a croak of confusion.

"Lana, I may believe in bad luck, but I'm not THIS superstitious."

"I was joking, FYI." Lana said flatly.

"Don't forget Charles!" Leni said, handing the puppy over to Lynn. "He's like, way more adorable than Hops. And a better kisser."

Charles licks Lynn's face affectionately, while Hops and Lana glare at Leni.

Lynn growled. "I'm looking for someone HUMAN, people! Someone I can have a real conversation with! Someone close to my age!"

The doorbell rings, and Lincoln answers it to find Clyde.

"Hey Lincoln."

"Clyde! You're perfect!"

Clyde raised an eyebrow. "Wha?"

"How would you like to take one of my sisters out to a prom?"

"Really?" Clyde thought. _Is it Lori? I hope it's Lori._

"Yep, Lynn needs someone."

 _Dang it._ Clyde thought.

"Her date Francisco, rejected her."

"Wait, you want me to go with four eyes?" Lynn said. "I like the guy, but I can't take him. They'll kick me off the most frequent sports committee."

"You're right, they would." Lynn Sr. agreed. "We've got to find someone else."

Then he sees a group of boys outside who are a year older than Lynn. He goes up to them. "Hey gentlemen, listen up. Which one of you lucky guys wants to take my wonderful daughter Lynn, to the prom?"

Lynn does a pose as she tries to woo the boys. When they see her, they run away in fear. Lynn and Lynn Sr. head back inside with Lynn looking disappointed. "Just don't be late, Clyde."

She walks upstairs.

Lynn Sr. gives Clyde a stern look. "Now listen Clyde, I'm counting on you to make this a very special night for a very special girl. Do it for the good ol Loud family."

"Yeah, buddy, try not to mess this up."

"Don't worry guys. I'm a prom expert!"

* * *

"Oh Cleopawtra, I'm a prom failure. I wouldn't have gotten a date for that Sadie Hawkins dance if it wasn't for Lincoln."

Clyde was back at home in his room, talking to his cat.

"Meow?" Cleopawtra said.

"Yeah, my date was that goth girl, Haiku. Besides, how am I suppose to compare to Lynn's crush, Mr. Strong and Handsome?"

Cleopawtra meowed and pointed under the bed.

"What is it girl?" Clyde looked under the bed and took out a magazine. It was titled "Strong and Handsome." "Oh yeah, I borrowed this from my dads. This magazine gives me an idea."

Clyde got ready for his date. He took a shower, then he got out a black suit and a metal robot suit that looked muscular. The robot suit was for costume parties, but he decided to wear it for this occasion. Clyde put the fancy black suit over the robot suit and got into the metal suit.

"Strong!"

He combed his hair.

"Handsome!"

"Ok Cleopawtra, wait til Lynn gets a load of this!" Clyde walked out of his room as Cleopawtra gave him a surprised look.

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lynn is now wearing a fancy red dress that was designed by Leni. Her hair was also let down. Lynn and Leni walked downstairs where everyone was in the living room and Lynn got their attention.

"Ahem! So what do you guys think?"

They were astounded.

"Honey, you look lovely." Rita complimented.

"Literally amazing." Lori commented.

"You actually look like a beauty pageant girl." Lola commented.

"Thanks guys." Lynn said. "Leni did a great job with the dress."

"It's totes adorbs!" Leni commented.

Then the doorbell rang. Lincoln answered it and saw a fancy, buff looking Clyde. He had on a big afro.

"Clyde? You look strong and handsome."

"Exactly."

"What do you think Lynn? Cleans up pretty good."

"Well, at least no one will recognize you." Lynn said. "Now listen Clyde, I just wanna get through this dance with my social status intact."

Clyde started taking notes.

"I want to go to the prom, get my picture taken, and dance."

Eventually, Clyde had a long list of notes as Lynn continued with her requests.

"I wanna drink punch with my friends, and don't do that weird thing you're always doing when-"

"Uh Lynn, we've got to get back to the limo." Clyde stated.

"A limo? Sweet! Let's go!" Lynn dragged Clyde off with her. Clyde's fathers were seen in the limo with one of them as the driver.

"Go easy on him, Lynn! I can't afford to break in a new best friend!" Lincoln joked.

* * *

The athletic girl and the nerdy boy arrive at Lynn's middle school and the two kids were dropped off.

"Have a great time, you two." Harold said.

"Don't dance too hard, Clyde." Howard said.

Inside, the prom had started as students were there with their dates. Lynn and Clyde entered. Clyde looked at the list.

"Ok, I guess the first thing we should do is-"

A camera flashed at them.

"Yes! My first prom picture!" Lynn cheered.

"Don't you mean our first prom picture?"

Lynn just gave Clyde a flat look. "Let's get this over with."

She walked over to the stage where the pictures were being taken. "Come on Clyde."

"Be right there." Clyde slowly walked over.

"Will you hurry up?"

"Just a second!"

It was kinda hard for him to move in a heavy metal suit. Then Clyde accidentally fell onto a food table, breaking it and snacks fell onto him. Lynn facepalmed and the photographer took her picture. Then Lynn's friends came over to her.

"Hi Lynn!" Margo greeted.

"Oh, hey guys."

"I'd like you to meet Billy Filkins." Margo introduced her date, who looked like a hippie.

"Sup." He greeted.

"And you know Brian Mounder from math class." Her other friend introduced her date, who was a geeky looking guy.

"Sup." He greeted.

"Hi Brian." Lynn greeted.

"So where's your date Lynn?" Margo asked. "We're dying to meet him."

"He's over by the food table."

"Oh, is he the one with the giant afro and ripped bod?"

"Oh, yes. I mean, oh no." Lynn said worried.

Clyde offered people snacks from his afro. Lynn was shocked.

"Quick! Let's head to the dance floor!" Lynn pushed her friends away and her cheeks turned red with embarrassment as she glared at Clyde. She walked over to him. "Clyde, what are you doing?!"

"Come on Lynn, help yourself to a treat." Clyde said, pointing at his afro.

"You look ridiculous!"

Then Lynn gasped. She ducked behind the table and pulled Clyde down.

"What is it?" Clyde looked up. Lynn pushes him back down.

"Get down, they'll see us!" Lynn and Clyde peek over. "It's Francisco. And he looks more handsome than ever!"

Francisco was wearing a tuxedo and had a cool hairstyle.

"Whoa." Clyde said impressed. "But I bet he isn't holder of the regional championship dance trophy."

Clyde held a trophy.

"Gimme that back." One guy said, taking back the trophy.

Clyde chuckles. "That didn't just happen. Let's go!"

Clyde and Lynn head over to the dance floor.

"Ready?" Clyde starts doing a robot dance.

"Clyde, what are you doing? Can't you see everybody's doing The Bump?"

Clyde looked around and saw couples chest bumping each other.

"The Bump? Oh yeah, I invented that one."

Clyde tried to do the dance, but suddenly his robot suit to malfunction. He was moving out of control.

"What is wrong with you?" Lynn said in confusion. Then Clyde bumped into her and they went flying and knocked into a crowd of students. A couple was sent flying through the punch table and through a painting. Now everyone was freaking out as the prom was falling apart. Lynn grew furious as she stared at Clyde.

"Could you be any more of a dork?! Well, I guess you can take me home now that you've ruined everything!!"

"Don't get upset! The prom expert is here!" Clyde assured. He checked his long list. "I haven't failed yet! Hey, we can still-no, I broke that. I know, we could-no. Don't get upset! D-Don't get upset!"

Clyde frantically looked through the list but found nothing they could do. His voice broke. "Whatever you do, don't-"

Then Clyde burst into tears. He ran away. Lynn's friends came over, looking concerned.

"What did you do to him?" Margo said. "Poor little guy."

Now Lynn felt guilty. Clyde ran into the girls bathroom and some girls ran out screaming. Lynn walked over.

"Clyde, are you ok?"

Clyde is heard whining. "-messed everything up!"

"Don't worry Clyde, you didn't mess everything up."

Clyde cries. "-hot dog!"

"Actually, it was pretty funny when that hot dog landed in Margo's hair."

"All I wanted was to have a good time!"

"But I am having a good time! You know, we haven't finished our dance yet."

Clyde whimpers. "Can I still wear the afro?"

"Yes, you can still wear the afro."

"Let's go!" Clyde happily ran out of the bathroom and dragged Lynn over to the dance floor. He's now out of his robot suit. A record plays and a man is heard from the speakers.

"Alright you crazy kids, I'm gonna teach you how to do the twist!"

A song called _The Twist_ _,_ by Chubby Checker plays. Lynn and Clyde start dancing.

 _Come on baby, let's do the twist_

 _Come on baby, let's do the twist_

 _Take me by my little hand, and go like_

 _this_

 _Ee-yah twist, baby, baby twist_

 _Ooh yeah, just like this_

 _Come on little miss and do the twist_

Lynn and Clyde were doing a good job at the twist, but the other kids are failing. A lot of them are injuring themselves trying to do the dance. Francisco taps Lynn's shoulder.

"Hey, Lynn?"

"Get lost, Franny!" Lynn said. "Can't you see I'm doing the twist?"

 _My daddy is sleepin' and mama ain't around_

 _Yeah, daddy's just sleepin' and mama ain't around_

 _We're gonna twisty twisty twisty_

 _till we tear the house down_

The prom is falling apart again. There's even a giant apple rolling by. Lynn twirls Clyde around. The students carry the two out of the school.

"They love us! Yeah! We're popular!"

But Clyde and Lynn were tossed out of the prom as the students and staff were angry with them.

"Go wreck someone else's prom, will ya?" One guy scolded as everybody left them outside.

* * *

The athletic girl and the nerdy boy returned to the Loud house.

"Gee whiz, Lynn." Clyde said sadly. "I'm sorry tonight didn't go like you planned."

"Oh, don't worry Clyde. I knew tonight would be a disaster all along."

Clyde looked nervous.

"But as far as disasters go, that was really fun."

Lynn went up to Clyde and gave him a kiss on the cheek. The Loud family watched this from the window and smiled at the cute scene. Clyde was filled with joy as he became speechless. Then Lynn Sr. and Lincoln were at the front door.

"Lynn, you're back!" Her father said.

"Hey dad!" She turned to Clyde. "Well, goodnight McBride...Clyde?"

Clyde was still frozen with joy. Lynn shrugged and went inside the house. Lynn Sr. and Lincoln went over to Clyde.

"You did good, Clyde." Lincoln said.

"Yeah, we owe you." Lynn Sr. said. They walked back inside.

"Goodnight buddy." Lincoln said. Clyde was left alone and then he started walking back to his house.

 _This day was awesome!_ He thought. _Maybe someday I'll get to dance with Lori._


	66. Chapter 66: Welcome to the Shroud House

**A parody of the episode: Welcome To The Chum Bucket**

 **Requested by guest**

 **Credit goes to Geo Soul for the idea of the Shroud family**

* * *

Lisa had invited her best friend Darcy over for a visit. It was now evening and Darcy had to go back home for dinner. Lisa also has other plans.

"I had a great time with you today, Lisa." Darcy said.

"Same here, Darcy." Lisa said. "Now I've got a card game tonight."

"Who are you playing cards with?"

"I'm going over to the Shroud house to play with Lena."

Darcy gasps. "Lena? But Lisa, she's your arch enemy. She's always trying to steal your greatest invention. Why would you play cards with her?"

"Between you and me, Lena is the worst card player in Royal Woods. Why I've been taking her to the cleaners every Thursday night for months."

We see a flashback of Lisa winning a card game and claiming Lena's chemistry sets.

"I never lose!"

Lisa and Darcy laugh and walk off in different directions.

* * *

The next day, Lisa is sitting on the porch crying her eyes out. Darcy comes over, laughing.

"Taking her to the cleaners. That's a good one."

She goes up to Lisa. "Hi Lisa, how'd the card game go last night?"

"I lost."

Darcy was surprised. "Gosh Lisa, how many chemistry sets did you lose?"

"I didn't lose any chemistry sets. I lost-"

"Don't tell me you lost your house?"

"I lost-"

"Lisa, please tell me you didn't lose your greatest invention!"

"I lost...you!"

"What?" Darcy said confused.

"I bet your contract and I lost."

Darcy takes this as a joke. "Good one Lisa. Well, let's head inside and play."

Darcy tried to head inside but Lisa pushed her away.

"I'm afraid you can't play here anymore."

Darcy got sad. "Please tell me this is a joke! Is this a cruel sick joke?!"

Then Lena shows up. "As much as I love cruel sick jokes, I'm afraid she's not joking, dear Darcy. You're my best friend now. Time to put on the official Lena's friend bracelet."

Darcy took out a spiked bracelet. Darcy screamed and pushed Lena away.

"Lisa, I don't want to be friends with her! I want to be friends with you!" Darcy started crying.

"I know Darcy, it's all my fault!" Lisa sobbed. The two four olds hugged each other as they cried.

"What kind of cold, heartless person would break apart such a loving relationship?" Lena asked in a sympathetic tone before getting sinister. "I would!"

She got out a crowbar and used it to separate the two besties. Darcy was sent flying.

"Darcy!" Lisa exclaimed.

"Lisa!"

Darcy landed on the ground and Lena handcuffed herself to Darcy. Darcy struggled against her.

"This is your greatest blunder, Loud!" Darcy said to Lisa. "For months, I've been playing those card games just waiting for you to slip up. I may not have your precious secret invention, but I've got your old best friend who surely knows about it. I'm gonna ruin you, Loud!"

Lena activated her jetpack and flew off with Darcy.

"Lisa!" Darcy yelled.

"Darcy!" Lisa yelled back and broke into tears again.

* * *

The evil scientist had arrived back to her home with Darcy.

"Let me go!" Darcy yelled.

"If you insist." Lena used a key to unlock her from the handcuff and Darcy fell into the chimney screaming. She came out the other end and was in the living room.

"What is this place?" Darcy looked around and saw all kinds of machinery, which terrified her. Lena came in through the front door.

"Alright best friend, I'm ready for our play date!"

"A-actually Lena, I haven't, Uh…"

"Perhaps you don't understand. We're friends now and as your friend, I command you to have a playdate with me this instant or I'll be forced to remove your brain and implant in my robot slave!"

Lena pointed to a robot who looked like Darcy.

"So let's go to my room."

* * *

The two toddlers are now in Lena's room. Her room has a lot of beakers and other chemistry stuff like Lisa's.

"Now you stay here while I prepare some snacks for us in the kitchen." Lena said. "You can look around but don't touch my lab equipment."

Lena headed to the kitchen. Darcy looked around the room, which looked like an evil lair. There was also a torture machine. She went to sit down on Lena's bed. Then a laser beam shot out of it, startling her. Luckily, she ducked. Then she looked at a sign above Lena's doorway that said "Lena's Room."

"The sign says "Lena's Room" but my heart says "Jail." Darcy said sadly. She then remembered the times she spent with Lisa. A montage of Darcy and Lisa's friendship is shown. It includes Lisa doing an experiment on Darcy, the two having ice cream, Darcy teaching Lisa how to skate, the two having a tea party with Lola, and more. The montage ends. At the Loud house, Lisa is sadly remembering the times she had with Darcy while looking at a picture of her and Darcy. Back at the Shroud house, Darcy is looking at the same picture. Then she cries on the floor. In the kitchen, Lena witnessed this on a security camera and so did her older sister, Alison.

"What is she doing?" Lena questioned. "All these tears, and it looks like she was reminiscing. What's wrong with her? Whatever, I'll just put her brain in my robot slave."

"You know that never works." Alison replied. "The answer is obvious. To get to your new best friend, you must show her compassion and understanding, then she'll give you what you want."

"Will you be quiet? I'm thinking!" Lena said. "I've got it. I'll give Lena compassion and understanding, then she'll give me what I want."

Alison groaned in annoyance.

* * *

In Lena's room, Darcy had touched one of Lena's beakers even though she was told not to. She accidentally broke one of them, but there was nothing inside it. She tried to fix the pieces with tape. Lena came back with snacks.

"Hi."

Darcy panicked. "Lena, I'm sorry! I broke one of your beakers! It was an accident! Please don't take my brain out!"

"Hold it Darcy, I'm capable of compassion and understanding."

"Really? Then I'd like to go back to being friends with Lisa."

"Let's not get carried away. Now what can I do to make you more comfortable at my place?"

"Well, I usually play with a stuffed animal."

"I've got just the thing." Lena got out her toy chest from her closet and opened it. "Here's a collection of stuffed animals."

"Wow!" Darcy said amazed. She rummaged through the chest and took out some animals. "Wow. You've got monkeys and pandas, and-is that a unicorn?"

She takes out the stuffed unicorn and noticed a button on its horn. "What's this?"

"No, wait!" Lena warned, but Darcy presses the button. A laser beam shot out of it, damaging Lena's hair and leaving a bald spot.

"Wow." Darcy said impressed. "That's amazing!"

Lena growled as she got irritated.

"I don't know, something still doesn't feel right."

* * *

Darcy was now wearing a blindfold as she was being guided into another room.

"Just a few more steps, Darcy." Lena instructed. "Ok, go ahead. Take it off."

Darcy took the blindfold off and saw the room she was in looked familiar.

"It's an exact replica of Lisa's room." Lena presented.

Darcy gasped with joy. "It is an exact replica. Here's the baby crib! The beakers! The science poster!"

Then she saw a weird looking invention.

"And that thing. Can we play with your chemistry set, Lisa?" Then Darcy broke into tears when she realized she wasn't with Lisa. "Lisa!"

"Don't cry, Darcy." Lena said. "It's much better being friends with me. Is there anything that loser Loud wouldn't let you do?"

"Well, there is one thing I've always wanted to do."

* * *

Darcy was using a pogo stick in the room now.

"Whoo! This is fun!" Darcy said happily.

"So now that you have everything you need, how about we discuss about secret inventions?" Lena suggested.

"Well-"

Now Lena was doing combing Darcy's hair as Darcy was eating ice cream. "Ready to discuss secret inventions?"

"Wait till I finish my ice cream." Darcy replied.

Next, Darcy was swimming in a pool.

"Secret inventions?" Lena asked again. But Darcy just splashed her with water.

* * *

Lena was reading a bedtime story to Darcy as they were seated in a chair. "And the little fairy said-"

Darcy has fallen asleep on Lena and got drool on her. Lena was irritated. She was about to blast her with a laser gun, but stopped herself.

"Easy Lena, this'll all pay off soon enough." She told herself and threw the gun away. Then Darcy woke up.

"Hey there, sleepyhead. How about we have a best friend conversation?"

"That sounds great."

"Alright, let's talk about secret inventions."

"I want to talk about favorite animals."

Lena chuckled. "Good one Darcy. But seriously, let's chat about inventions."

Darcy yawned. "Nah, I don't really feel like it."

"But I don't understand. You have the toy chest, the pogo stick, the chair, I rubbed your putrid feet!"

"Tell ya what, shorty, why don't you talk to me later?"

"I command you to discuss secret inventions with me this instant!" Lena said angrily.

"No!" Darcy said, acting like a brat.

"Don't backsass me!"

Darcy mimicked Lena in an insulting manner.

"What?!"

Darcy made a fart sound at Lena.

"That's it, missy! You just lost your brain privileges!"

* * *

Lena had used some kind of invention to remove Darcy's brain from her head. She implanted it in her robot slave.

"Finished!" Lena went into her room, holding a remote. "Oh Darcy, come in here."

She pressed the button on her remote. The robot that looked like Darcy came in. It now had Darcy's brain in a small glass dome.

"Or should I say Robot Darcy. It's convenient that I had a robot that looks just like her. You shouldn't have been such a spoiled brat, Darcy. You see, I always get what I want, and I want you to discuss Lisa's secret invention with me!"

She pressed the button on her remote. The robot was functioning.

"Response: why don't you ask me later?" The robot slave replied.

"What?" Lena said in disbelief. "What?!"

Get welded." The robot walked away.

"Wait, I command you to tell me Lisa's greatest invention!" Lena presses the button some more.

"I don't wanna." The robot slave said as it was now relaxing in a chair. Lena fumed and screamed in frustration.

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lisa was outside, sadly working on an invention. Lena came over in her jetpack and walked up to Lisa. She was in tears.

"I can't take it anymore. You've got to take that nightmare of a friend back! It's not worth it! I'm better off stealing your invention fair and square!"

Lisa decided to take advantage of Lena's predicament. "Well, I don't know Lena. A deal's a deal. She's your bestie now."

"Oh please, have mercy Lisa, I'll do anything! I beg of you!"

"Hmm...how about you offer me thirty bucks and I'll take her off your hands."

"It's a deal!" Lena gave thirty dollars to her arch enemy. "I cheated anyway."

"Now get out of here, you pest!"

Lena flew off with her jetpack. "Thank you Loud!"

* * *

Darcy was now back at the Loud house, now friends with Lisa again. Her brain was now back in her head as there was a bandage on her head. "My brain and I are glad to be back, Lisa."

"Well, it's good to have you back, old friend. But I require something from you."

"What is it?"

"A brain transplant to my robot."

Darcy looked shocked and scared.

"I'm just kidding." Lisa laughed. Then Darcy laughed nervously.


	67. Chapter 67: Spooky Shift

**Since it's October, I'm going a Halloween related episode. Maybe more. So here's a parody of one of my favorite episodes: Graveyard Shift**

* * *

Ah, Gus' Games n Grub. Royal Woods' popular arcade and pizzeria, where it'll be closing time right about-

"Now!" Lori turns the open sign over to the closed sign. "8 o clock. So long suckers. I can't wait to watch that new episode of Dream Boat."

Then a man came and knocked on the door.

"What?" Lori said.

"Are you open?"

"Read the sign."

"I'll have a cheese pizza and some bread sticks."

"No you won't. I can't hang here all night. I've got a life."

"Well fine, if you don't want my money."

"Money?" The manager jumped onto Lori, crushing her. "You mean if we stay open longer, you'll give us your money?"

"Sure." The customer said as more customers showed up.

The manager ripped the closed sign in half. "Lori, welcome to the night shift. From now on, Gus' Games n Grub will be open twenty-four hours."

"What?!" Lori got back up as she was shocked. The customers ran inside, trampling Lori.

"Wow." Leni said excited. "Now we never have to stop working."

Lori got back up. "Sir-"

"See you in the morning girls." The manager said. "I can't hang here all night. I've got a life."

He left the arcade/pizzeria.

"But sir-"

"Isn't this great Lori?" Leni said excitedly. "Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours. And then the sun will come up and then it'll be tomorrow, and we'll still be working. (gasps) It'll be just like a sleepover. Only at a pizzeria!"

Leni goes onto the counter. "Are you ready to rock, Lori?"

"No." Lori said flatly.

"Good! Cause we've got customers!"

Leni goes into the kitchen. A female customer walks up to Lori.

"Here. Please knock me out." Lori said as she handed the customer a boxing glove.

"Psst!" Leni was seen through the kitchen window. "Lori, I'm working in the kitchen...at night."

"Don't hold back." Lori said to the customer as she pointed at her face.

"Lori, I'm tossing dough...at night." Leni said, playing the dough.

Then she was in the bathroom, mopping the floor. "Look at me, I'm mopping the bathroom! At night."

Then she burned her hand on the stove. "AAAH! I burned my hand!...At night."

At the counter, Leni took out her phone. "Let's take some nighttime selfies."

She started taking a bunch of selfies of herself and Lori. Lori grew more irritated.

"Pose. Pose. Pose. Pose."

"Will you please?!" Lori yelled. "Here. Give me a moment's peace and take out the trash."

Lori gave Leni a garbage bag.

"Alright." Leni started to head out with the bag. "I'm taking at the trash. Taking out the trash at ni-"

She stopped when she saw how dark it was outside and how far the dumpster was. "You mean outside?"

"Duh. That's where the dumpster is." Lori said.

"I don't know, Lori. It's kinda dark out there."

"But I thought you liked the night shift."

Leni got determined. "You're right. For Gus' Games n Grub!"

She frantically ran outside to the dumpster screaming, threw the trash inside the dumpster, and ran back inside the pizzeria. She breathed in and out, and then calmed down.

"Piece of cake." She said, snapping her fingers.

"So you're not afraid?" Lori questioned.

"Pff! Nah."

"Well, I am. Especially after-" Lori gulps. "-you know."

Leni turned to her sister. "What? What do I know?"

"You don't remember. It was literally all over the news."

"Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!" Leni begged.

"No, it would probably ruin the night shift for you." Lori smiles devilishly.

"What happened?! What happened?! What happened?!"

"You mean you never heard the story of...The Dough Flinging Pounder?"

"The Toe Dinging Flounder?" Leni mispronounced.

"The Dough Flinging Pounder." Lori repeated.

"The Snow Singing, The Row Clinging, The Show Dinging, Ringing, uh-"

"Yes, the Dough Flinging Pounder." Lori corrected. "But most people call him "The Do- (screams)" because that's all they literally have time to say before he gets them!"

Leni gasped. "Tell me the story!"

Lori told the story. "Years ago, at this very restaurant, the Dough Flinging Pounder used to be an employee just like you. Only clumsier."

Leni gulped.

"And then one night when he was pounding the dough, it happened."

"He forgot the tomato sauce?"

"No."

"He got germs on the food?"

"No."

"Irregular toppings?"

"No! With his spiky boxing glove, he cut his own hand off by mistake."

"You mean like this?" Leni ripped her arm like it was nothing. Lori was shocked and screamed.

"OMG! Leni! Are you ok?!"

"Relax Lori, it's fake. I won this from the claw machine. I should show this to Luan." Leni put her real arm out and put the fake arm away. "Continue."

Lori was relieved and continued the story. "And he replaced his hand with a rusty boxing glove. Then he got hit by a bus! And at his funeral, they fired him! So now every-what day is it?"

"Saturday."

"Saturday night, his ghost returns to Gus' Games n Grub to wreak his horrible vengeance."

Leni gasps. "But tonight's Saturday night."

"Then he'll be coming."

"How will we know?"

"There are three signs that signal the approach of the Dough Flinging Pounder. First, you'll hear the sound of his werewolf howl. Next-"

"Hey, do you have any soda?" A customer walked up to Lori.

"Sorry, we're all out."

"Dang it." He walked away.

Lori continued. "Now where was I...next, the phone will ring and nobody will be there."

Lori pointed to the pizzeria phone. Leni bites her nails in fear. "And finally, the Dough Flinging Pounder will arrive in the ghost of the bus that ran him over. Then he'll exit the bus and cross the street without looking both ways because he's already dead!"

Leni was eating breadsticks as she kept listening to the story.

"Then he taps on the window with his iron boxing glove."

"No." Leni said frightened.

"He opens the door." Lori makes a creaking sound as she pretends to open a door.

"He slowly approaches the counter." She said as she creepily got closer to Leni, who backed away. "Then you know what he does next."

"What?"

"You really want to know?"

"What?"

"Are ya sure you want to know?"

"What?! What does he do?!"

"He gets you!" Lori sneaked up behind her sister and poked her back, scaring her. Leni screamed and Lori laughed hard, then wiped a tear from her eye. Leni was curled in a ball, rocking back and forth and whimpering.

"Leni, come on Leni. Snap out of it."

Leni was still scared.

"Leni, I was joking!" Lori confessed. "That wasn't a true story!"

Leni calmed down. "...It wasn't?"

"Of course not. Nobody has a boxing glove for a hand. It was all a joke."

Leni realized. "Oh...That was like, pretty good Lori. You sure had me scared for a moment." She started laughing.

"Yeah, I really had you fooled." Lori said and laughed with Leni.

* * *

Later that night, the sky was green and it was a little foggy. At Gus' Games n Grub, there was a neon lit sign that read "Open Forever." Inside, the arcade area was completely empty and there were no customers in the pizzeria. Lori was at the counter, reading a magazine. Then she heard the sound of a chainsaw. She looked around. Leni was seen through the kitchen window, cutting pepperoni meat with a chainsaw.

"Leni! LENI!"

Leni turned it off and looked at Lori.

"What are you doing?"

"Cutting the pepperoni."

"With a chainsaw?!"

"Oh, is that what it's called? I thought this was some kind of knife." Leni put the chainsaw away. Lori facepalmed and went back to the counter.

"Open twenty four hours. What a stupid idea." Lori complained. "I mean who wants a pizza at 3 AM?"

We cut to the Loud house, where Lynn suddenly wakes up. "Oh boy! 3 AM!" She gets a slice of pizza from her drawer and eats it. We cut back to Gus' Games n Grub.

"Just look at this place!" Lori said. "It's like a ghost town in here."

Then she heard a werewolf howl and was not amused. "Very funny, Leni."

Leni was out of the kitchen now. "What?"

"You'll hear the sound of a werewolf howl, just like in the story. I get it."

But Leni wasn't the one howling and Lori realized this.

"Hey Lori, how are you doing that without moving your lips?"

"I'm not doing it. It must be one of those stupid arcade games." Then the phone rang and Lori answered it. "What? What?...Hello?"

"Nice try, Lori." Leni said.

"Nice try what?"

"The phone will rang and nobody will be there." Leni chuckles. "You crack me up."

"Leni, I'm not doing this!" Lori hangs up and starts to panic. "Ok, calm down Lori. Calm down. Alright, what was it? First, the werewolf howl."

She hears the werewolf howl again.

"Then the phone." The phone rang again. Then she smelled anchovies. "And then the smell of anchovies will fill the air! Oh wait, that always happens. But what was that third thing?"

Then she saw the bus arriving and looked worried.

"Hey, I didn't know the buses ran this late." Leni said.

"They don't." Lori said worried.

"Well, They're dropping someone off."

A man came out of the bus, but he was not clearly seen in the dark. It looked like he had red eyes and he showed his iron spiky boxing glove. Lori screamed in terror.

"The Toe Singing, The Snow Ringing, The Glow Pinging-!" This time Lori couldn't pronounce it right.

"The Dough Flinging Pounder!" Leni said scared, and started crying.

"At last, you understand! We're doomed!"

"No, that's not it. I am just so touched that you would go through the trouble of dressing up as a ghostly chef and go stand at the other side of the street, just to entertain me! You must really love me!"

"Leni, there's a problem with your theory. How can that be me when I'm standing right here?!"

The man walked up to the restaurant and tapped on the glass door. Leni screamed in terror.

"The Dough Flinging Pounder!!!" Both sisters yelled. The man entered the pizzeria as Lori and Leni panicked. The two hugged each other tightly.

"Leni, I know we fight sometimes but you've always been my favorite sibling!"

"Lori, I used your golf club to unclog the toilet!"

"Wait, what?"

As the sisters panicked, the man came out of the darkness and was revealed to be a human. Lori and Leni saw this and stopped panicking.

"Hi, can I have a job application?" He said in a dorky voice. "I brought my own oven mitt. I called earlier but I hung up cause I was nervous."

"Do you have references?" Leni asked.

"Wait-" Lori said. "-if that was you on the phone and you on the bus, then who was doing the werewolf howl?"

The three of them hear the werewolf howl and notice someone by the front door. It was Lucy! She was doing the howl.

"Oh, Lucy." Lori, Leni, and the man said in unison. Lucy smiled and vanished.


End file.
